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They run into their own lack of motivation while trying to run away from it.

I guess there's a gap between wanting and doing that I don't seem to be able to cross on my own (without negative external pressure).

So it's different from situations where you don't know that you desire something, when the fact that you desire it, and the motivation to obtain it, is somehow concealed?

Now this is interesting. What is this like? How can you when this is the case? How can you get yourself around it, because in the example you gave, you had your mentor doing it for you (external pressure).

I agree. Doing what you want will most likely keep you home watching TV or masturbating. However, if you're the kind of guy who will do what it takes, then pat yourself on the back. Being ruled by what psychologists call the "pleasure principle" is a sign of immaturity; real men stop at...

Introverted Virgin Geek, a triple threat ... to myself :mad:

REM isn't deep sleep. Deep sleep is dreamless, or when time passes with no awareness of it. Have you ever seen the time on your glowing alarm clock, rolled over, lay there for a few minutes, and then rolled back over to discover that several hours had passed? That's deep sleep. I've...

Working out isn't a rewarding experience for me either. I don't feel good about myself afterwards; I don't feel like a better man for having done it. If anything, I feel worse because I've just had my monumental weaknesses, both physical and psychological, laid bare in front of me. The...

Good luck finding a guy with both aspects well in hand. Attentive & romantic and masculine & good looking rarely go together.

No offense, but for reference, there are some - the whole "sudden enlightenment" faction - who would consider this process to be fake DJ-ing. In your defense, however, they don't have any better ideas.

Personally, I like women with good muscle-and-bone curves; they look healthier and more feminine than skinny women. Still, I don't like fat chicks any more than you guys.

My psychologist had always said that the path towards change lay in acting, that you consciously - ego-ly - act something until it becomes automatic. On the surface it makes sense, but even before I found this site, I knew it didn't work that way - I recognized the potential for conflict...

Don't confuse controlling your emotions with suppressing them. "Harness" would be a far better word, to use your emotions as fuel for action - the difference between an atomic bomb and a nuclear reactor.

Stereotypically homosexual behaviors are learned, either from a lack of a strong masculine figure as a child or from adopting the gay persona as an adult. The same process is true for masculinity; it either learned from fathers or masculine figures in childhood or, in the case of this site...

For Double: What I'm describing is pretty much the same thing as: "No job, no experience. No experience, no job."

Re: Re: What is masculinity and femininity SEXUALITY Part 1: the ability to cause women to be sexually attracted to and interested in you - achieved through height, muscles, c0ck size, face, etc. Part 2: the ability to express sexual desire and interest - achieved through suggestive...

1. Lack of aggression = no pursuit of confidence, charisma, etc. 2. Lack of confidence, charisma, etc = lack of masculinity. 3. Lack of masculinity = lack of aggression = loop starts all over again. It's the chicken and the egg, a causality paradox, where one cannot get something...

Perhaps, but how do you increase the proportion of masculinity within yourself? Or the proportion that you bring to a relationship? These are the questions that most guys here need answers for.

The specific qualities are pretty much the clichéd ones you read about all the time on this site. CONFIDENCE - Your belief in your worthiness, effectiveness, and deserving-ness that extends beyond logic, beyond mantras, and beyond feelings. CHARISMA - Your ability to attract attention to...

I know the keyboard jockey well because I am him. His problem is that he does not respond to pain and challenge in a positive masculine manner. Pain and difficulty antagonize him instead of inspiring him. Pain is still pain to him, and challenge tends to deflate his ego rather than inflate...