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I have a sixteen year old daughter. She's absolutely the most amazing young woman on this forsaken planet. If you really want to know what goes on in the minds of women; teach one as she grows, and have her internalize your teachings regarding relationships and personal growth. Watch as...

One has to ponder: WWABD (What Would Al Bundy Do)?

Your Mom liked it too. Give a kiss to your wife and my kid.

Who the fvck are you kidding? The hardest thing you've ever taken is c0ck.

DD= D!ck Diving. Where's my $1000 you owe me for winning our bet. For a super gadzillionairre, as you tout yourself to be, it should be nothing and you should've ponied up immediately, as a man would have. Go ahead and keep chasin' those little green dots Miss Pac B!tch. This is why you'll...

Your LTR has TLR.

I gotta go with sandwish man here. Having a chick mad at you for being rude, is making sure she's thinking of you when she diddles her little pvssy to sleep.

You won't be typing like a b!tch from this point on. You're welcome.

One of the best investments I've added to my culinary arsenal is a $15 cast iron grill pan. It's grooved to allow the fat or marinade to boil away. Delmonico's seared on this thing taste better than Cindy Crawford's pvssy. A couple of tips for you fellow carnivorous gents: 1. Leave the meat...

Only chicks use fvcking internet lingo. Speak to a man as if you're a man, and I'll answer you.

To hell with all of these fvcking pansy asses who spout that red meat is bad for you. It's the one food that's sustained our species since before the Greys came and taught us how to build and manage society. I eat red and green primarily. Bloody red meat accompanied by a green veggie...

If it smells like sh!t... ...and spells like ****... ...it must be...

Especially those helmet-headed c0cksmokers who disappear then come back to start dumb sh!t. And Helmet-head, you're (note the correct usage "English-man") full of sh!t and you're (note again, proper punctuation) on here bragging about it. Clean up your own goddamned **** before you think...

In all of your most infinite wisdom you can also tell what's the truth and what's not? Let's test your high-powered perception. The next time you lie, you contract a testicular rash full of pus filled pimples. How's that for truth?

You want to keep chuggin' meatpole or try to take the balls in your mouth too? This Brother comes back with a truly reflective, heartfelt admission of what he's been able to do for himself, and this is the bile you upchuck? You should go back to LoveShack with the rest of the He-b!tches...

It pays to buy in bulk. The one-time cost may seem daunting, but you will have food aplenty for the next few weeks. I go to Sams Club right next to my apartment every 4 weeks and stock up on tuna, hearts of romaine (2 pounds for $3.00?), half n half, coffee (2.5 pounds of Eight O' Clock...

It's about time you got off your ass.

All those Basketball dudes are dropping their loads down her throat, up her cvnt, and, more than likely, in her pooper. How much do you love her now?

I tell women if they're good girls they get rewarded. "Oh? What reward would that be?", is their usual reply. "You've never had an orgasm as powerful as my freshly shaved bald head on your freshly shaved pvssy." I've been repeatedly proven right.

Fvck that thinking. You need to embrace that she's a sexually enlightened woman. Why are guys so afraid of a woman who's unafraid of expressing her animalistic lust? You pine and whine about not getting laid, then when such a creature comes a-calling, you freak out. Use this opportunity to...