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1-800-45-MAURY Use it. Live it. Watch the b!tch run off stage.

I have both Hansel and Gretel's ashes kept in beautiful wooden boxes in my apartment. I'll give everything I own away, but I'll be buried with my dogs' ashes. No woman has never, nor ever will, come between me and my dogs.

Or Darth Vader's helmet through the eye of a needle. Cheating is a woman's term for limiting you after becoming a domesticated mutt. Your once wild heart, and untamed sexual hunger, have now been brought inside where you're sedated and fed from her bowl, when SHE wants to feed you. Go...

There's a stark difference in being subversive, and surrepticious, with any reply to that question and outright lying about it. There's nothing to lie about. You're not doing anything wrong. Nothing. You want to keep her mind always busy with thoughts of you with other, more attractive, women...

I've watched The Bachelor every season. It's a wonderful introspective into women's true agenda and their desire to cash in on their sexual marketability, while in it's prime. Brad, the last time he was The Bachelor, dropped BOTH chicks at the end of the series. What happened? Every...

I'm waiting anxiously for a hot, young Geisha to wash up to my doorstep. I already have a towel and chopsticks ready...

'Dish texted me to come out last Friday but I was already under obligation. We need to coordinate another Central Florida round table.

Blasts from the past. I know Brother STR8UP is kickin' ass. The rest are old news.

I've always had dogs. Always will. They do nothing but add positivity to your life and help you open to love. When my Hansel died the Vet would not allow me to hold him while he was put to sleep. He had throat cancer. That's the biggest regret of my life. That my buddy died without his...

14 months ago I was hit with a bout of Bell's Palsy. The right side of my face completely locked up tighter than my ex-girlfriend's pucker. Did it stop me from doing anything I did before? Hell-fvck-no. In fact, it's helped me realize what differentiates real worry is, rather than tempestuous...

She's interested in guys who are interested in, and passionate about, their future and other things than getting into her pants. Look, I'm not your average Dad. I was 16 once and I know what I was doing. She's completely informed and knows full well what happens if she doesn't have the mental...

Mine's 16. Gorgeous. Brilliant. She's in Orlando this week for a robotics competition (she writes binary code for robots). She's in Atlanta next week for the same reason. My kid is hip to Game. I taught her everything I could about "Players" and "Seductionists". She's caused guys to weep...

Why not? This place is a community of men who come together to discuss various topics. While you're jacking your c0ck to Youtube videos of Ross Jeffries and that effeminate he-b!tch Neil Strauss, the rest of us aren't completely consumed with pvssy. We're relaxing and enjoying our lives in...

I stopped playing "hard to get" when I got divorced. I've mastered "hard to want" game. Playing hard to want puts her in an immediate, and constant, state of validation. The pinnacle of aloof game.

Who gives a sh!t? Use this opportunity to remind her of those long dormant lesbian longings, then have a juicy three-way. Make new memories, fvck old ones.

I banged down a 29 year old ebony goddess a coupla' weeks ago. That b!tch was who Dyson modeled his vacuum after. The DSL's were superb. Truly a glorious d!cksucker. The darker skinned woman loves the bald, tattoo'ed burly bastard.

"I don't eat the same fvcking sandwich everyday. I'll be damned if I'm going to eat the same woman everyday." This I've told to every woman I've dated post-divorce. In this rational context they, "get it". I was talking to Kendal, the Barista at the Starbucks I visit nightly, about this very...

It still seems to stem from a spacial deficiency. What happens when someone gets too close? You feel as if you're being swallowed alive or is it more of a choking feeling? I used to feel like this until I let, what I perceived to be, everyone else's perceptions of me aside.

Obviously, Brother Thunder, you're feeling something negative from her space. My guess? Cabin fever. You're feeling the walls close-in on you. You're in a shrinking Shutter Island-esque Hell. Don't apologize for it. Confront it, admit it, give her the boot, find yourself, then do something...

Hand her the money? No. The chick has to earn everything. Blowj0b with a swallow back, then you buy her another load.