Life's a B1tch

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You are a divorced father, are you not? Judging from what you said about your ex, she is not exactly a "quality woman".

Well, maybe you shouldn't be judging.

A seemingly "high quality" woman is capable of "low quality" acts under the right circumstances, just like fresh fruit came become spoiled. In other words, getting yourself a "high quality" woman is hardly a guarantee of anything.

There are no guarantees, which is why you shouldn't be judging my marriage.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Well, maybe you shouldn't be judging.

Ironic for you to say this, as 90% of your posts on this forum (including your response to the OP in this very thread) involve judgment of others.

But speaking of your marriage, didn't you say that your wife dumped you when you became sick? Is that the conduct of a "quality woman"?

 

[BaronOfHair]

We CAN choose to adopt a perspective which dictates "Life is a b-tch". We can also get specific about what aspects of our existences we're not satisfied with, then begin addressing those which are amenable to remedy, and making peace with those things which aren't especially changeable

OP, it sounds like this broad isn't terribly into the common law(Or near common law)marriage you all have, and is at the very least contemplating infidelity. Your choices are thus pretty straightforward:

-Go to a shrink together, and try to work this out

-End things, then find other mates

-Stay in this union, knowing that she's regularly giving it up to guys other than yourself, and don't complain of it anymore

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Ironic for you to say this, as 90% of your posts on this forum (including your response to the OP in this very thread) involve judgment of others.

True, but unlike you, I'm not here to learn how to interact with women.

But speaking of your marriage, didn't you say that your wife dumped you when you became sick? Is that the conduct of a "quality woman"?

People change. We were together for sixteen years. We had eleven fantastic years together, but her unhappiness accumulated when she had difficulty with motherhood. And when I got sick she didn't know what to do and her evil girlfriends talked her into initiating divorce. Which resulted in her moving out of my house and her having to pay me alimony. She later admitted that she was in a bad mental situation when she divorced me, but she knows I'm not taking her back.

Now that we spoke of my sixteen year marriage, let's discuss yours. Did you ever have a relationship exceeding ten years? Why do you think you can judge my marriage?

 

[Bokanovsky]

True, but unlike you, I'm not here to learn how to interact with women.

Nice try.

People change. We were together for sixteen years. We had eleven fantastic years together, but her unhappiness accumulated when she had difficulty with motherhood. And when I got sick she didn't know what to do and her evil girlfriends talked her into initiating divorce. Which resulted in her moving out of my house and her having to pay me alimony. She later admitted that she was in a bad mental situation when she divorced me, but she knows I'm not taking her back.

A person's true character is revealed when things are not going smoothly. You can blame her motherhood problems and "evil girlfriends" all you want but that won't change the fact that your princess was never the quality woman you once imagined her to be. I can see why you find this obvious conclusion irritating (it reflects poorly on your judgment) but facts are facts.

Now that we spoke of my sixteen year marriage, let's discuss yours.

We could but to what end? Unlike you, I'm not here to tell tales of woe.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Unlike you, I'm not here to tell tales of woe.

Thanks for that, you told me more than I needed to know now.

 

[New_Journey]

True, but unlike you, I'm not here to learn how to interact with women.


People change. We were together for sixteen years. We had eleven fantastic years together, but her unhappiness accumulated when she had difficulty with motherhood. And when I got sick she didn't know what to do and her evil girlfriends talked her into initiating divorce. Which resulted in her moving out of my house and her having to pay me alimony. She later admitted that she was in a bad mental situation when she divorced me, but she knows I'm not taking her back.

Now that we spoke of my sixteen year marriage, let's discuss yours. Did you ever have a relationship exceeding ten years? Why do you think you can judge my marriage?

Women can be ruthless huh? How long after divorce did she contact you again to work it out? Was she better after leaving you? Why didn't you take her back?

That's a painful lesson every man should learn about women.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Women can be ruthless huh?

People can be ruthless. I don't see my ex-wife as 'ruthless'. Before the divorce a couple of situations (like the death of her mother) made her question herself and her faith and her marriage. She went for advice on how to deal with her unhappiness to girlfriends who were jealous of her relationship with me. She was naive to believe that she could 'start over' when you already have a husband and two kids.

How long after divorce did she contact you again to work it out?

We are co-parenting, so we had to talk about our kids, but once she initiated the divorce I wasn't interested in 'working it out'. Work out what? Her betrayal of her marital vows make her unworthy to have any dealings with. If she wants to talk about her feelings, she can talk about them with other people.

Was she better after leaving you?

No. But I am.

Why didn't you take her back?

Before the divorce was finalised, one of my friends asked me if I would take her back if she regretted her impulsive action and asked me to stay in the marriage. And I told him what I tell you now: relationships are founded on mutual trust and respect. The moment she threw in the towel, I couldn't trust her or respect her judgment. After sixteen years, me and her kids were no longer her priority.
Our kids are my only reason we still talk. And the kids is the only thing we talk about, I don't care about her personal life and her issues, as long as they don't negatively affect our children.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Every man that lacks self love and self respect will eventually find himself I'm this exact situation.

Because women are like that wild animal you try to tame: no amount of study will predict how she'll react tomorrow. And eventually the wild animal will hurt you. When it does, you only got yourself to blame.

Beyond self respect is an entire world of goodness waiting for ya. You just gotta get through the bitter pill called loneliness. Once you get through that, much better thing waiting for you. But first you gotta tell life how to treat you. You say that it's okay to be disrespectful towards you. You'll reap what you sow.


Dude loves her more than he loves himself.

Imagine him living om her house...he would've been kicked out like 5 times already for simply forgetting to close of the toothpaste or not closing the toilet seat.

This **** lets a cheating woman take from his resources while thinking he gets "leverage " over her

^^ Key tenets of red pill.

You can't teach a woman if you're not prepared to leave her at any moment. That's what's so difficult about beautiful women who know how to claw their nails in your back like demons when you are thrusting her dirty, damp and deep giving her the fear of god.

You have to genuinely from the bottom of your heart, not give a fvck, while at the same time love her enough to train her.

They require a lot of love too, so the the love for yourself has to be sky high, so that you still think you're better than her, after giving her so much, you have to love your appearance, love your brain, love your emotions
100%. No cap. Love what you bring to the world, the value, how others see you, how you are as a leader.

You have to basically think, and know, you're a bad ass motherfvcker that could have any girl in the world. Your purpose has to be challenging enough, that you think you deserve a beautiful, loyal woman.

You lose that frame, you lose the girl.

Game immunizes you against the depths of romantic failure (although I believe on the flip side it also immunizes you against the heights of romantic love).

I would think that's true for a lot of men. But not Obi Wan Kenobi-level game, where you manage to show to a woman or anyone, for that matter that losing something, in this case a quality woman, would be a loss, but that you understand that life is full of loss, and losing every thing is an eventuality. At times, the trust you give a woman will be the rope she hangs you with and it happens to the best of them everyday.
You nod where other men would sob. You haven't crushed down your emotions, you've merely prepared yourself by not living in a fantasy world better suited for women and children.

This can't be faked. It's an internalized belief and posture after having a certain volume of experience with women and, instead of coming out (only) bitter or guarded on the other side, coming out accepting of the circle of life.

 

[Gamisch]

^^ Key tenets of red pill.

You can't teach a woman if you're not prepared to leave her at any moment. That's what's so difficult about beautiful women who know how to claw their nails in your back like demons when you are thrusting her dirty, damp and deep giving her the fear of god.

You have to genuinely from the bottom of your heart, not give a fvck, while at the same time love her enough to train her.

They require a lot of love too, so the the love for yourself has to be sky high, so that you still think you're better than her, after giving her so much, you have to love your appearance, love your brain, love your emotions
100%. No cap. Love what you bring to the world, the value, how others see you, how you are as a leader.

You have to basically think, and know, you're a bad ass motherfvcker that could have any girl in the world. Your purpose has to be challenging enough, that you think you deserve a beautiful, loyal woman.

You lose that frame, you lose the girl.

Game immunizes you against the depths of romantic failure (although I believe on the flip side it also immunizes you against the heights of romantic love).

I would think that's true for a lot of men. But not Obi Wan Kenobi-level game, where you manage to show to a woman or anyone, for that matter that losing something, in this case a quality woman, would be a loss, but that you understand that life is full of loss, and losing every thing is an eventuality. At times, the trust you give a woman will be the rope she hangs you with and it happens to the best of them everyday.
You nod where other men would sob. You haven't crushed down your emotions, you've merely prepared yourself by not living in a fantasy world better suited for women and children.

This can't be faked. It's an internalized belief and posture after having a certain volume of experience with women and, instead of coming out (only) bitter or guarded on the other side, coming out accepting of the circle of life.

Great write up. OP should read it a couple of times to internalize the message.

To use the animal analogy: it's like having a lot expensive but possible dangerous dog. You train ,invest, make TONS of time, sacrifice you r freedom ect ect ect.

But the moment the dog acts up in a way that can be considered "unforgivable " the dog will be put down.

Despite all the effort . Women ain't much different from that and they KNOW.. that's why women are saying the "refuse " a simple low cost 1st date: what, you expect the wild animal to be tame at all times? Look at this shyte show: a grown man who willingly puts himself in such a weak position. There are just two flavors: sweet or shyte. OP tries to season a turd and use the baby as sugar to coat it.

She even lives in HIS house. That's how strong the urge for new penis is. She is willing to throw her safety away in order to get sexual attention from another man. Das frau = AUS

 

[DJ Novice]

Hedonic adaptation kills all relationships eventually and women tend to get bored faster than men.

Once a woman cheats on you (physically or emotionally) she has mentally checked out of the relationship by her actions.

Any respect or desire she once had for you is gone.

Either kick her to the curb now or stay, emotionally detach, use her for recreational purposes only and spin plates until she chooses to leave of her own accord or you eventually get sick of her and decide to end it yourself.

Don’t delude yourself into thinking things will get better like they were in the beginning. You can’t recreate the feelings of the past as things are now much different. Nostalgia is your worst enemy.

Good luck. It’s a tough situation to be in. Women can break you but only if you let them.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I believe humans place far too much expectation on relationships

They have a shelf life just like everything else on earth , you can't expect to be with someone over a period of 5,10,20,30,40 years and there not to be issues

I'm not sure I've ever come across a relationship between a man and a woman that doesn't have some sort of core issue bubbling under the surface it's almost like they need it too keep going.

Even the most "fairytale" relationship I've come across the guy absolutely hates his partners mother , and this causes drama in the relationship pretty much on a weekly basis

Another problem is that humans get bored and tempted very easily ....I don't care who you are you've been in a relationship for 3 years + the sexual desire is going to start waining for both man and woman

"cheating" is rife out there ......fundamentally men desire the feeling of the hunt and women desire the feeling of being hunted

You can't really get either of them core desires fulfilled from a long term relationship / marriage because theres nothing to hunt

Why do you think people get fat and out of shape in relationships !?! .......becuase of comfort and there literally being fvck all else to do lol

Always makes me chuckle when people say things like " I can't believe they would do that "

Anyone is capable of anything under the right circumstances .....

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Women negotiate with words, but men negotiate with their very presence alone.

Dont have a chat with her, don't fight with her just spend your time elsewhere, it's really simple.

If you let her stew and frolic in her own energy she tends to stop doing stuff like this, truth is you have probably positively reinforced her behavior in parallel to this at some point.

A very wise man once told me: If you can afford to treat people like **** you have wildly misplayed your hand.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Hell yeah!

The title of your thread is "Life is a b!tch". That's not true. Life is not a b!tch. Your future ex is a b!tch. You need to handle your business like a man, not like some sappy, sentimental pushover. I can guarantee that you will be embarrassed by some of the things you wrote in this thread when you read them a few months from now.

There's a lot in play.

Her mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer shortly after we got together and died a few months into her pregnancy.

I mentioned that we lost a son after a few days, but I didn't mention that he was born premature because her liver burst and they had to perform an emergency C-section, to save her and him. She almost died.

I spent two weeks in the hospital with her. I watched my son die 5 days in, then had to worry about her dying for another week.

A few months later, she started drinking too much. Then I started drinking too much. It's been volatile ever since, but in a passionate way. We both assumed it was something that we would overcome, especially when we started trying to have a baby again.

Well, we did start trying again. And it turns out she was texting this dude during that time, which hurts pretty bad lol

I want mention that there were no signs. I've been with women that lost interest, and there were always signs.

She never acted any differently towards me. She kept begging me for marriage. She never lost sexual interest (though she was probably picturing him lol); she was giving me oral sex on a regular basis. She still went out of her way to make me happy etc

That's what makes it so weird to me.

She's been begging me. She tries to pretend nothing ever happened. I told her I can never forget, yet she's relentless in trying to be normal.

I'm in a tough fvcking spot, man. If I bring it up, she starts acting like a baby and makes my life hell. If I ignore it, I end up getting pissed because I have too much self-respect. It's a cycle

It isn't boring though

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I believe humans place far too much expectation on relationships

They have a shelf life just like everything else on earth , you can't expect to be with someone over a period of 5,10,20,30,40 years and there not to be issues

I'm not sure I've ever come across a relationship between a man and a woman that doesn't have some sort of core issue bubbling under the surface it's almost like they need it too keep going.

Even the most "fairytale" relationship I've come across the guy absolutely hates his partners mother , and this causes drama in the relationship pretty much on a weekly basis

Another problem is that humans get bored and tempted very easily ....I don't care who you are you've been in a relationship for 3 years + the sexual desire is going to start waining for both man and woman

"cheating" is rife out there ......fundamentally men desire the feeling of the hunt and women desire the feeling of being hunted

You can't really get either of them core desires fulfilled from a long term relationship / marriage because theres nothing to hunt

Why do you think people get fat and out of shape in relationships !?! .......becuase of comfort and there literally being fvck all else to do lol

Always makes me chuckle when people say things like " I can't believe they would do that "

Anyone is capable of anything under the right circumstances .....

Great post

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I got rid of most of the things I owned when we moved in together. I didn't care much about the stuff

Currently, our house and garage is full of her crap. Pisses me off now...

I just got an offer to work out of town indefinitely. I'm tempted to take it, to get away from her, at least.

But I'm also leaving my home wide open for her to do whatever.

Fvck. You think you know, but you don't know

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

The stoic philosophers, who I love, didn't touch on this subject

I'm about to go through hell. Wish me luck.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The stoic philosophers, who I love, didn't touch on this subject

I'm about to go through hell. Wish me luck.

On the contrary. They'd point out that you chose to increase your own distress, by thinking in melodramatic terms, like "I'm about to go through hell", even though you have the power to instead think in saner, less hyperbolic ones such as:

"Tommorw, I COULD potentially encounter obstacles to my goals, and events I'd prefer not to encounter. I also can choose to take a cue from Tommy Shelby here

, by handling my difficulties as if I have ice water in my veins. Possessing nerves of steel is an archetypal masculine trait, thus any difficulties I encounter provide me with an opportunity to sharpen my proficiency in that department"

 

[BaronOfHair]

I got rid of most of the things I owned when we moved in together. I didn't care much about the stuff

Was that really the case? Or did you kowtow to her, by getting rid of most of your possessions to make room for those of this broad, for fear that she'd leave you?

"Currently, our house and garage is full of her crap. Pisses me off now..."

I presume neither she, nor a couple of Hell's Angels whom she had under contract put a loaded L1A1 SLR to your head, nor a Bowie knife to your neck then threatened to deprive you of a pulse, UNLESS you allowed her to fill up your house and garage with "her crap". Get pissed off at yourself, for allowing things to get this far out of hand

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Was that really the case? Or did you kowtow to her, by getting rid of most of your possessions to make room for those of this broad, for fear that she'd leave you?

"Currently, our house and garage is full of her crap. Pisses me off now..."

I presume neither she, nor a couple of Hell's Angels whom she had under contract put a loaded L1A1 SLR to your head, nor a Bowie knife to your neck then threatened to deprive you of a pulse, UNLESS you allowed her to fill up your house and garage with "her crap". Get pissed off at yourself, for allowing things to get this far out of hand

No, I don't care about furniture