Life's a B1tch

[Clockwerk50]

When people experience cheating or a series of failures, it can lead to irrational reactions and a feeling of being cursed by bad luck. This mindset often causes hesitation, indecision, and can result in more mistakes, such as overthinking opportunities or avoiding risks altogether.

I don't want or need advice.

I was putting my situation here for men to learn from

I'll respond to questions that might help men be better

I might also not check in for a couple weeks

I guess you can share what really happened that led her to consider to monkey branch and entertain the advances of another guy. This way, it can serve as a warning to others in their relationships.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I guess you can share what really happened that led her to consider to monkey branch and entertain the advances of another guy. This way, it can serve as a warning to others in their relationships.

It's weird, nothing changed at all. That's the funny thing, you expect to notice changes: they start acting distant. Or they stop having sex with you. Something.

She always acted normal. And she's been trying to be more nice since I caught her, obviously. Trying to blow me more often. Clean the house more

I should have caught her sexting sooner!

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I run some mean dread game. Always have

That definitely factors in.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I run some mean dread game. Always have

That definitely factors in.

Every man should master dread game

 

[Vanderdonck]

Whenever I see posts like this I always feel it in my soul. Recently like 4 years ago, famous soccer player who was like a poster boy cheated on his wife. Now ,4 years later she starts spilling information. What stood out the most was when she said: It literary changed my life, my trust in people is gone, I don't think I can ever trust people again.

We always say and act like a cheating woman is just "part of the game". But at the same time it's a blow to your trust that you might never recover from. Only time will tell. But once trust is broken, it can NEVER be recovered. Imo it's like a change is the chemical make up between two people. The formula isn't the same anymore thus the outcomes will be MUCH different from that moment on.

Meanwhile people advice him to actually STAY and FIGHT for his abuser!! She is literally abusing him: she takes his resources , probably feeds his insecurities and simultaneously tries to monkey branche behind his back.

This is a recepy for disaster and will end in violence, sometimes physical but 100% psychological violence. Do we really have to predict how this will end?

OP'S biggest strenght right now is his secret membership of this fightclub where other men with similar experiences guide him . And my advice remains: GTFO.

Agreed. I mean, I think people are generally apt to cheat, that's just human nature moreso than monogamy is. BUT I also think that no matter where you are in life as a man, you can handle what comes at you. Take the L and move on. It's not even an L necessarily. She showed who she was. He's not tied down to her in any way other than emotionally. Women will exploit those emotions but if he's truly a stoic as he says, starting over won't be so bad.

 

[Chow Mein]

What do you think went wrong for her to do this?

You might not want to share with the forum, but self introspection could help after you’ve let off some steam.

 

[Ricky]

Look what he is going through has become absolutely rampant now. I work in healthcare with 80 percent of women. I'm an expert at getting women to open up to me.. i let out a secret of mine.. they give out 10 of theirs.

Almost all women are talking to other men behind their backs. Almost all of them. Its a reality we have to deal with in the smartphone era.

Either we evolve and develop strategies to deal with their hypergamous instincts or we don't.

This is not 1997 when i got my first cell phone but there was no text. This is not 2007 right before the first smart phone was released and all we had is texting. This is 2024 when the entire world of thirsty men and simps are available to waste a woman time and attention.

We need to regain our focus. I am going to make a post about improvements we can all make. We all need to evolve as the game changes.

 

[Gamisch]

Look what he is going through has become absolutely rampant now. I work in healthcare with 80 percent of women. I'm an expert at getting women to open up to me.. i let out a secret of mine.. they give out 10 of theirs.

Almost all women are talking to other men behind their backs. Almost all of them. Its a reality we have to deal with in the smartphone era.

Either we evolve and develop strategies to deal with their hypergamous instincts or we don't.

This is not 1997 when i got my first cell phone but there was no text. This is not 2007 right before the first smart phone was released and all we had is texting. This is 2024 when the entire world of thirsty men and simps are available to waste a woman time and attention.

We need to regain our focus. I am going to make a post about improvements we can all make. We all need to evolve as the game changes.

Oke in that case men should also lower their expectations . The outcome, or I'd say ,the final "product" from your description will be "the azzhole". You know, the type of man who doesn't care if she does whatever because he never trusted her to begin with.

I can tell you that then all of a sudden women will do ANYTHING to get some emotions put of you.

There's no excuse for such behavior when you have a covenant with a woman. I get what you're tryung to do, but simultaneously, despite all your good efforts your advice might be more harmful than you want. We're not talking Texting but Sexting my friend. That's a few levels beyond normal contact as the other dude basically already had her mind....

Regain focus? I agree with that part tho.

 

[BaronOfHair]

We had a kid last year, but he only lived 5 days. I haven't mentioned that yet. I'm a stoic motherfvcker, but some things hurt you

That's what makes this betrayal so bad. And she didn't fvck, just text him bad things about me, and eventually start talking about fvcking

Clearly, you all have been through some sh-t over the past year, and you both have a lot of emotional pain to work through. If you haven't acknowledged this to yourselves, it stands to reason that you both may be acting out in an attempt to soothe that agony, without being consciously aware of what you are doing

 

[BaronOfHair]

Almost all women are talking to other men behind their backs. Almost all of them. Its a reality we have to deal with in the smartphone era.

So long as women are human(A species that's not hardwired for monogamy), the chances that they'll stray is always significant. There's never been any period where this hasn't been the case: Modern technology has just made this tougher to hide

 

[Westminster]

So long as women are human(A species that's not hardwired for monogamy), the chances that they'll stray is always significant. There's never been any period where this hasn't been the case: Modern technology has just made this tougher to hide

I think modern technology has done more than make it harder to hide. It's made it easier to do as well.

The mobile phone can be a real weapon, perhaps especially in a woman's hands.

 

[Learning Curve]

My old lady is sexting an old boyfriend. From fvcking highschool lol

Or was, until I caught her

I found out recently that you could look up deleted texts on iPhones. Found texts over two months. Started small, but eventually got sexual

So it's definitely over in my mind. I expected it from her, but I can't help but feel apathy

The dude lives 2 states away, doesn't matter. I can never trust her again. Obviously not dumb enough to

Why are all women like this? Lmfao

So we live together. Not married.

She's acting like nothing happened, obviously, but I keep having to remind her that something did. This turns into fights, which ruins my chill

There's not really a point to this. Just wanted y'all to know that veterans get screwed over too

I'm all good. Like I said, I expected it.

But at the same time you always hope it won't go that way

I'm not mad, just apathetic

Welcome to the modern world of 2024.

You probably dumb her already but consinder the following:

Usually, two options are on the table, you dumb her, let her come back beg, plead, cry and then depending on your tolerance and if you love her you take her back.

Or you dumb her and move on.

When they argue after such thing, especially sexting other dudes considering "nothing happened" in their mind is usually because of lack of respect for a man.

That's where i would pull the cable and let her talk while i pack and leave.

Zero tolerance for this kind of bs.

 

[Vanderdonck]

So long as women are human(A species that's not hardwired for monogamy), the chances that they'll stray is always significant. There's never been any period where this hasn't been the case: Modern technology has just made this tougher to hide

Agreed.

 

[Gamisch]

Every man that lacks self love and self respect will eventually find himself I'm this exact situation.

Because women are like that wild animal you try to tame: no amount of study will predict how she'll react tomorrow. And eventually the wild animal will hurt you. When it does, you only got yourself to blame.

Beyond self respect is an entire world of goodness waiting for ya. You just gotta get through the bitter pill called loneliness. Once you get through that, much better thing waiting for you. But first you gotta tell life how to treat you. You say that it's okay to be disrespectful towards you. You'll reap what you sow.

Welcome to the modern world of 2024.

You probably dumb her already but consinder the following:

Usually, two options are on the table, you dumb her, let her come back beg, plead, cry and then depending on your tolerance and if you love her you take her back.

Or you dumb her and move on.

When they argue after such thing, especially sexting other dudes considering "nothing happened" in their mind is usually because of lack of respect for a man.

That's where i would pull the cable and let her talk while i pack and leave.

Zero tolerance for this kind of bs.

Dude loves her more than he loves himself.

Imagine him living om her house...he would've been kicked out like 5 times already for simply forgetting to close of the toothpaste or not closing the toilet seat.

This **** lets a cheating woman take from his resources while thinking he gets "leverage " over her

 

[Bokanovsky]

Wtf am I supposed to do, put her on the street?

Hell yeah!

The title of your thread is "Life is a b!tch". That's not true. Life is not a b!tch. Your future ex is a b!tch. You need to handle your business like a man, not like some sappy, sentimental pushover. I can guarantee that you will be embarrassed by some of the things you wrote in this thread when you read them a few months from now.

 

[Bokanovsky]

They're not, but you're dating low quality women.

This situation is a good warning not to have kids with low quality women.

Find yourself a high quality woman.

You are a divorced father, are you not? Judging from what you said about your ex, she is not exactly a "quality woman".

The problem is that there isn't necessarily a bright line test separating "high quality" women from "low quality" ones. It's not like the difference between an ugly woman and an attractive woman, which is obvious to see. A seemingly "high quality" woman is capable of "low quality" acts under the right circumstances, just like fresh fruit came become spoiled. In other words, getting yourself a "high quality" woman is hardly a guarantee of anything.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Well, maybe you shouldn't be judging.

Ironic for you to say this, as 90% of your posts on this forum (including your response to the OP in this very thread) involve judgment of others.

But speaking of your marriage, didn't you say that your wife dumped you when you became sick? Is that the conduct of a "quality woman"?

 

[BaronOfHair]

We CAN choose to adopt a perspective which dictates "Life is a b-tch". We can also get specific about what aspects of our existences we're not satisfied with, then begin addressing those which are amenable to remedy, and making peace with those things which aren't especially changeable

OP, it sounds like this broad isn't terribly into the common law(Or near common law)marriage you all have, and is at the very least contemplating infidelity. Your choices are thus pretty straightforward:

-Go to a shrink together, and try to work this out

-End things, then find other mates

-Stay in this union, knowing that she's regularly giving it up to guys other than yourself, and don't complain of it anymore

 

[Bokanovsky]

True, but unlike you, I'm not here to learn how to interact with women.

Nice try.

People change. We were together for sixteen years. We had eleven fantastic years together, but her unhappiness accumulated when she had difficulty with motherhood. And when I got sick she didn't know what to do and her evil girlfriends talked her into initiating divorce. Which resulted in her moving out of my house and her having to pay me alimony. She later admitted that she was in a bad mental situation when she divorced me, but she knows I'm not taking her back.

A person's true character is revealed when things are not going smoothly. You can blame her motherhood problems and "evil girlfriends" all you want but that won't change the fact that your princess was never the quality woman you once imagined her to be. I can see why you find this obvious conclusion irritating (it reflects poorly on your judgment) but facts are facts.

Now that we spoke of my sixteen year marriage, let's discuss yours.

We could but to what end? Unlike you, I'm not here to tell tales of woe.

 

[New_Journey]

True, but unlike you, I'm not here to learn how to interact with women.


People change. We were together for sixteen years. We had eleven fantastic years together, but her unhappiness accumulated when she had difficulty with motherhood. And when I got sick she didn't know what to do and her evil girlfriends talked her into initiating divorce. Which resulted in her moving out of my house and her having to pay me alimony. She later admitted that she was in a bad mental situation when she divorced me, but she knows I'm not taking her back.

Now that we spoke of my sixteen year marriage, let's discuss yours. Did you ever have a relationship exceeding ten years? Why do you think you can judge my marriage?

Women can be ruthless huh? How long after divorce did she contact you again to work it out? Was she better after leaving you? Why didn't you take her back?

That's a painful lesson every man should learn about women.