Life's a B1tch

[BaronOfHair]

VMV, are you drunk posting? Recognize I'm likely asking a rhetorical question, nonetheless I couldn't resist the urge to do so

 

[Vanderdonck]

But I don't want her anymore.

So leave her. Quit making excuses.

 

[New_Journey]

Take the fvcking blue pill.

Chance it.

You'll be better off

Look Cypher, you already took the red pill, there is no going back, you're choking on it, swallow it for good.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Look Cypher, you already took the red pill, there is no going back, you're choking on it, swallow it for good.

I choked on it 22 years ago

Took me 15 years to get it down.

I have to remind this woman on a regular basis that we're done. She has a break down every time

Try that on for size and then give me advice

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

VMV, are you drunk posting? Recognize I'm likely asking a rhetorical question, nonetheless I couldn't resist the urge to do so

Absolutely

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

VMV, are you drunk posting? Recognize I'm likely asking a rhetorical question, nonetheless I couldn't resist the urge to do so

You're a beast, dude

I like your style

 

[Bokanovsky]

I want mention that there were no signs. I've been with women that lost interest, and there were always signs.

The signs are alway there. It's just that sometimes we miss those signs...or choose to ignore them. That's not a dig at you, by the way. We are all guilty of this to some extent.

The stoic philosophers, who I love, didn't touch on this subject

Stoic philosophers believed in the four virtues: wisdom, courage, justice and moderation. It seems like you already know what must be done (wisdom). You just need the courage to actually do it.

It's understandable that you would feel conflicted about the whole situation given your history with this woman. But at the end of the day, you simply can't trust her. It also seems that you are using her health issues to rationalize her bad behaviour. But does that really make sense? Why would a woman who goes through a near-death experience suddenly start sexting with her ex? Especially if you've been loyal and supportive during this period. Is it possible that she was doing shady sh!t behind your back even before her health complications and you simply didn't know?

 

[DJ Novice]

A woman should add to your base level of happiness over time.

If your base level of happiness (i.e. being single) is say 80%, then a woman should improve on this (to say 85 or ideally 90% over time.

If you find your happiness levels reduce (to say 75 or 70% or even lower in the example above) over time, then you really need to question why you are continuing to remain in that relationship.

What makes you happy is for you to determine; everyone is different.

The above analysis assumes you are comfortable being single. If your base level of happiness is very low to begin with (say 40%), expecting a woman to bump this up significantly (to say 75%) is unrealistic and even a small bump (to say 50%) will not make you fulfilled in the long term.

The fear of leaving a relationship past its use by date is often greater than the fear of staying due in part to the sunk cost fallacy (I’ve already invested x years and y $ into this relationship), nostalgia, fear of loss/being alone and the delusion that the other person will change (they won’t) or that you can recreate the feelings of the past (you can’t).

We have all been there at some point.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

The signs are alway there. It's just that sometimes we miss those signs...or choose to ignore them. That's not a dig at you, by the way. We are all guilty of this to some extent.


Stoic philosophers believed in the four virtues: wisdom, courage, justice and moderation. It seems like you already know what must be done (wisdom). You just need the courage to actually do it.

It's understandable that you would feel conflicted about the whole situation given your history with this woman. But at the end of the day, you simply can't trust her. It also seems that you are using her health issues to rationalize her bad behaviour. But does that really make sense? Why would a woman who goes through a near-death experience suddenly start sexting with her ex? Especially if you've been loyal and supportive during this period. Is it possible that she was doing shady sh!t behind your back even before her health complications and you simply didn't know?

You've been one of the best posters on this forum for a decade, brother. Glad you're still here

We both started drinking too much after everything happened.

When I drink, I get brutally honest.

She blames her sexting another dude on me being an assh0le when I drink.

Granted, I can be an assh0le when I drink, but only because I don't hold back.

She says my drinking pushed her to sext her ex.

What do you you think?

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

There's been a tit for tat with us.

We both have drank too much since our child died

I thought we were on the same page...

Turns out she was two pages ahead

Women are always two pages ahead, because they're better at manipulation

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I'm good if anyone is wondering.

I'm not sure how you stay sane with stuff like this...I've been staying off booze and drugs, for the most part

She still acts like nothing happened, which grinds my fvcking gears. I have to remind her occasionally

In her mind, she did nothing wrong. She's your typical woman ... Can't take responsibility for anything. Any time I bring up breaking up, she is always most concerned with how she looks in the deal.

I was drinking too much for a while. I called her fat (she's getting there) and caustic. She hates me for it.

Your boy ain't backing down, though. Steadfast on not being able to trust her ever again.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I told her 5 days ago that I will never forget her treachery. She's choosing to ignore it again.

I choose to ignore it because I hate coming home to hate. I can't stand my spot being blown up 24/7

She wants everything to be ok. Part of me does too.

But I know where this leads. I've read it hundreds of times

Cheaters always cheat. Did she cheat? Not really, but she was working up to it. It was only a matter of time

She's flipped it to me having to be better, which women always do lol; tlhey always find a way to skirt responsibility and blame you

If you learn anything from me, learn that women are fickle and always skirt responsibility. They literally can't comprehend loyalty, the way you and I see it

Anyway, I've been refusing sex (not gonna knock her up). This is my strongest move at the moment.

Sosuave didn't raise no b1tch

I'll update one day

 

[Vanderdonck]

I'm good if anyone is wondering.

I'm not sure how you stay sane with stuff like this...I've been staying off booze and drugs, for the most part

She still acts like nothing happened, which grinds my fvcking gears. I have to remind her occasionally

In her mind, she did nothing wrong. She's your typical woman ... Can't take responsibility for anything. Any time I bring up breaking up, she is always most concerned with how she looks in the deal.

I was drinking too much for a while. I called her fat (she's getting there) and caustic. She hates me for it.

Your boy ain't backing down, though. Steadfast on not being able to trust her ever again.

This just sounds like you two are unwilling to be intellectually honest with yourselves or each other.

And you can't just talk about breaking up. It's sh*t or get off the pot. If you just bring it up as a possibility, she will take that as a pass to fvk around.

You need to detox - from booze and drugs, but also from her. Get away for a long time and calm yourself.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

This just sounds like you two are unwilling to be intellectually honest with yourselves or each other.

And you can't just talk about breaking up. It's sh*t or get off the pot. If you just bring it up as a possibility, she will take that as a pass to fvk around.

You need to detox - from booze and drugs, but also from her. Get away for a long time and calm yourself.

Yeah. I've been off the booze for three weeks until tonight. I can't bare to view this sh1t sober.

Also, none of you can tell me anything I don't know. I'm not looking for advice here

I thought this would be a good thread for the young guys to learn from. Especially considering how she never changed her demeanor towards me.

Her desire to settle down and have kids was so strong, that she literally became a sociopath...

And all women are capable of this. Every man should be aware

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

It's obvious, in hindsight

They're sociopaths from their teens, if you view it from a male perspective.

Men compete. We decide who is worthy through a custom that has been around for thousands of years

Women do the same, and their tactic has also been around for thousands of years. Their tactic is manipulation

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I've reached a ppint where I can laugh at it, but it's taken me 2 decades to get here

Women can have a new d1ck in 2 hours. And they can change who they are, as a person, just as quick

Take pride in the fact that you aren't that way. Your ancestors were warriors. They charged a battlefield, while you can barely charge a men's restroom.

Take pride in where you come from, and seek wisdom from your elders.

When I'm in a tough spot, I think "how would my grandfather handle this?"

Your grandfather was forced to solve problems...and he had a sense of worth

You pass them off...Jack off...and wonder why you feel lost

Solving problems is what men were born to do. If you work in an office, you definitely need to be lifting weights and challenging yourself. There's nothing more soul-sucking than an office job

At the same time, some problems you need to let lay. My situation is a good example.

I don't have a good move, so I'm not making a move. Rash decisions will get you broke or in jail.

I'm drunk and rambling a bit, but don't be a pushover.

Men suffer. I'm pretty sure that's what evolution had in store for us. If you aren't suffering, you aren't living. If you aren't striving to be better, then you're going to feel lost

Find a way to strive to be better. Be creative. Figure your own life out, pvssy

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

The red pill gets mentioned a bunch, but it's definitely a real thing. And it took me 20 years to get it down.

I was angry at women for a long time. I hated how easy they have it.

I wasn't blessed with top 10% genes, so I started cold-approaching. Which I would recommend to every man. To overcome your fears

I found some success with women, but being around women taught me a timeless lesson: you can't trust women.

I've wondered since, if my upbringing is the problem. Maybe women are great and I'm just misogynistic lol. Maybe the sour men of the manosphere ruined me...

20 years later, I will still tell you not to trust women. You have to treat them like children

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Also, make a point of seeking change.

For you young guys, that will mean "approach women". Your ancestor stormed Normandy, but you can't even say hi to a woman lol

But for the older guys. Make a point of doing different things. Variety is the spice of life. A small change can invigorate you

 

[Bokanovsky]

You've been one of the best posters on this forum for a decade, brother. Glad you're still here

We both started drinking too much after everything happened.

When I drink, I get brutally honest.

She blames her sexting another dude on me being an assh0le when I drink.

Granted, I can be an assh0le when I drink, but only because I don't hold back.

She says my drinking pushed her to sext her ex.

What do you you think?

That sounds like "the dog ate my homework" kind of excuse. Of course she's going to blame you. Women always do that. Of all the women I've been with, I can only think of one who, when talking about her ex, acknowledged that she bore some responsibility for the breakdown of their relationship. This was many years ago and I still remember it because it was such an unusual admission. Almost like a politician admitting that he lied.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

That sounds like "the dog ate my homework" kind of excuse. Of course she's going to blame you. Women always do that. Of all the women I've been with, I can only think of one who, when talking about her ex, acknowledged that she bore some responsibility for the breakdown of their relationship. This was many years ago and I still remember it because it was such an unusual admission. Almost like a politician admitting that he lied.

Yep. Women treat accountability like the plague.

There are exceptions...type A personality, but that's another beast to deal with