mikey:
here is my original post
This is my first post to the sosuave forum but I feel compelled to share my experience with you guys out of gratitude for what this particular thread has done for me ( and kept from doing )since my breakup.
Some background is in order
I am an american based outside the united states. Small business owner with regional responsibilities. Early 40's but probably look like mid thirties. Fairly good looking guy maintained with the benefit of tropical sunshine and a personal trainer.
I am a divorcee with a kid so I cant really live a big time player but I am game aware and fairly successful (to date) in picking up and continuously spinning plates in the countries where I travel to frequently.
My journey in the manosphere began when I was in a relationship with a fairly hot american divorcee also based in my country. The evolution of my relationship with this woman and how it brought me to game is another story that bears telling and contains valuable lessons. However I will wait until another thread on this forum compels me to post it.
My situation now in detail.
Late july, with a colleague in one of the cities I travel to frequently I was out partying. I use some online dating sites and my habit is to send three or four messages when I touch down asking for company and friendship in the big city. Usually I get one or two responses to these messages and if I don’t have any hot real world prospects in that city then the online dating is a great backup. If you are not using Tinder I would highly recommend it, especially if you travel. Anyway, I landed, sent my messages, and made tentative plans with a cute looking 25 year old to hook up on a Friday night.
I'm out with friends and get the girl to join us. I have to say that from about 20 paces away , her face, her eyes and her look did something to me. About as close to love at first sight as I have experienced. A great night out follows with her coming to my hotel room and us having multiple rounds of hot sex until the next morning.
The next night, a repeat of night number one and then I bounce back to my home city. We continue to text and talk while I maintain my other plates at home and on my travels. In the following weeks I keep coming to that city for business and every time its fun and romantic. This girl was not perfect, plenty of danger signs (no close female friends, attention *****, a billion self pics on social media, smoker, big partier etc) but when we were together it was good.
Two months go by like this. I maintain my frame and other relationships until during one trip she basically tells me that she is not content being some girl I **** and party with when I come to town. She said this at dinner before sex and looked so good that I agreed. A week later we are friends on facebook, she is posting all over my page and we are greeting each other like "good morning girlfriend" every day on text.
I end of up flying this girl to stay with me for a week and then we arrange another week together travelling. Managed these trips pretty well, introduced her to friends, business colleagues, and also managed to come up with good fun ideas. A couple of weeks later I spend a solid week in her city with her ensconced in my hotel room. Tons of hot sex, great nights out everything perfect. Most importantly, tons of laughter.
It was perfect because I was doing a fairly good job of maintaining my frame with her. Not getting caught up in her chick dramas, alternating negs and comfort, maintaining my image in her mind as a sexy powerful man with options. During the first month I even continued to go on dates but never closed on anyone. Just keeping myself sharp. During the second and third month this pretty much stopped as we started spending more time together and our sex and intimacy ramped up in intensity and passion. All day every day I was bombarded with messages and notes from her about her thinking of me and loving me.
After a solid loving week together in her city, I flew home for the weekend and then came back the following Monday. My phone had been lost the previous week and I ended up getting the same phone as her. While out for drinks I inadvertently picked up her phone instead of mine.
"hey gi*** this is Blake from OKC, I am on the way to you now"
In a rush I remembered that in fact the night before she had slept at some "friends" house.
I stood up, walked out of the club got in a taxi and went to my hotel room. I sent one SMS, "*****". She responded with a bunch of texts and phone calls to my hotel that I didn’t pick up.
At the hotel I deleted all her numbers, email address, facebook etc. I did a bit of snooping on okc and compared her lies about where she spent Sunday night with the details on the dudes profile. Pretty clear she had spent the night with a guy the Sunday before I flew back to town. To top it off, the dude looks like a stud and is about 12 years younger than me. ****ing english teacher.
It sounds gay as **** but this shock came at the 90 day mark of a very passionate very intimate affair and we had just spent a full week in each others arms . Dare I say, we were "deeply in love" I am not exaggerating when is say everything was perfect. My reaction to that text can only be described as "shock and awe". I was numb, dumbstruck, and intimately, viciously "butthurt"
The next morning I flew to another city. She sent some short social media messages to me saying she hadn't ****ed anyone but has a new "friend". Tried to engage me in small talk about her life etc. I ignored this.
I left my facebook profile public, asked some hot girls to post on my walls and arranged a weekend in Bali to party. Its now been seven days with no contact.
Talking to other women is exquisitely painful for me right now. I started on page 1 of this thread and have reached page 206. Every time I want to call her or email her I just read a few more pages of this thread. It has been a lifesaver.
Somewhere along the way in my obsessive reading of this particular thread someone posted this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNovswAlmio.
Stop what you are doing and go watch it now. I was telling my friend the other day. " I just don't ****ing get it, I did EVERYTHING right and this happened, the only thing that changed was I really started liking her and I even controlled that pretty well when I was with her." There must be some invisible thing about me that changed enough that she would stray like this. something I am unaware of that only a young hypergamous female with a billion options is just picking up from me over the last couple of weeks of being with me. Like a scent or a pheromone.
This video explains what that invisible undetectable change you go through when you get into "cherish" mode. The video also that the awareness that you are going to gain from going through this breakup is what ultimately bring you game and your life to a higher level.
Go watch the video, look at the million little things in your life that you could improve on right now. Pick one and work on it today and DON’T CALL HER!
