First of all, let me say I love this blog & all who post, keep the faith!
This is a very quick version of my story:
I was with my partner for 13 years, she split us up March 31, it would have been our third wedding anniversary on May 29. I thought we had the perfect relationship & we were brilliant for each other - I am still in some sort of shock as to what has happened 4 months on.
She initially told me we had drifted into a sibling relationship and to be true to herself she couldn't live in a relationship like that. We will put the house up for sale and live together as if nothing has changed until the house is sold and then we will go our separate ways!
I told her immediately that no way was that situation acceptable. I left 4 days later, moving back with my parents - for now - until my payout from the property sale.
I have tested the 'water' about getting back together, without begging, but it is like flogging a dead horse, it seems that she has already 'checked out' from the relationship.
Fast forward six weeks and she changed her story slightly to, 'my feelings have changed towards you'. Then move forward another six weeks or so & the story changes again to 'when I heard the saying, I love you, but I'm not in love with you, it made so much sense to me'.
I removed my last item from the happy, marital home about 4 weeks ago & sent the keys back in the post. While I was there I told her this would be the last time we ever saw each other, I offered my hand to shake & said thank-you for the memories. She said don't go like this, please at least hug me & leave things differently, I flatly refused, turned & walked out of her life. I have now been NC for 21 days.
She says she cares for me deeply & wants to be friends & begged me not to 'cut her dead'. I doubt she cares & I've insisted right from the off that we will never be friends & I have now cut her dead as we have no ties.
I have severed everything because I didn't deserve this incredibly poor treatment from her, I have been an excellent husband in my opinion & a perfect husband was her opinion - I know this isn't true, I'm not perfect.
Now here's the thing, I don't have a problem continuing with NC, it is difficult sometimes but not to the point where I've ever thought I would do anything, but I suppose if I'm being honest & truthful, I really do want her to contact me! I have been through every emotion known to man this past 4 months, only now am I regaining my confidence & self esteem, every family member & friend or counsellor who knows my story, can't quite believe my story or what drastic action my wife has taken to end our relationship, I believe my in-laws are of the same opinion too. I believe she might be in the middle of a mid-life crisis, she is just 46 now, same as my good self!!
I nearly forgot, I think when I realised that she was deadly serious, I felt my situation was so far out of my control that some sort of balance was needed back in my favour, so I filed for divorce, I was advised not to do this just yet, but I felt it was the right thing to do for me, so went ahead. I did this because I am an emotional guy & I didn't want the pain or hurt again somewhere down the line when she felt like doing it, if it was all going to end, I wanted it to end all at the same time, get it all boxed off.
Some days I'm optimistic about a reconciliation or U turn on her part, but most of the time I'm pessimistic, I believe she has gone for good & it seems such a waste, I thought, wrongly of course, she was indeed my best friend.
I really have no idea why I'm letting this
loser have such an effect on me, it is her loss not mine -
other peoples words.
Andy