No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[Hamurabimbi]

Women are rarely single. The good ones are taken. Would you rather be the tradeup guy or the rebound guy or that guy she goes for but has a best friend and allot of orbitors? Do you realistically expect to meet a single hot lady that really has no guys in her life? In fact there is a bigger chance she has a high body count if she is not in a relationship already to keep her in check! Previously taken is better than 304.

Attractive people are rarely, if ever, truly single.

 

[corrector]

Attractive people are rarely, if ever, truly single.

Exactly, you are either going to be a trade-up, trade-down, rebound, or orbitor and that's that. Only the rebound you can say she's kinda single (ie normally a lucky beta orbiter she's giving a chance to). If you have that mindset going in, then you won't take it too much into account if she has a bf, best friend or other guy in the background as it goes with the territory.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Do you realistically expect to meet a single hot lady that really has no guys in her life? In fact there is a bigger chance she has a high body count if she is not in a relationship already to keep her in check! Previously taken is better than 304.

No I don't realistically expect that. With any woman you meet these days, you have to assume that there's other guys she's talking to. Still tho with that situation I mentioned earlier about the girl from class I felt weird about potentially hooking up with a girl who was already in a relationship mainly because I had never actually stolen a woman from another man. To this day I still really haven't.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Keep making progressive baby steps. Each day you don't at least make a baby step is a day wasted, and too many days wasted will mean you are missing out. You should map things out and journel them. Now we already know you can ask someone for the time. Try an escalate it a bit more. Try the same thing but more provocative. (ie do the same exact same thing, but say, (smile) I'm just messing with you, what are you up to?" (If she's the right type of person that wants to be game she'll play along and bingo you've started a chat. If you are dealing with a sourpuss then her loss)

Do you yourself cold approach much?

 

[corrector]

Do you yourself cold approach much?

I tend to like to have an end-game and think that if there is a plan, beyond cold-approach, that it should become natural to want to cold-approach because it's part of that plan. Do you have your logistics sorted out as to what you would do if a woman was interested? That's great if you do! I don't.

I have posted in other threads about how difficult my living situation is, and I really don't have any breathing space to involve any woman in my life and consequently don't feel very motivated. I have taken a three month leave of absence from work just to take care of my mother (she had a fall a few months back and need a knee-replacement surgery). My folks are like in their 80s and we all live together in one floor in a bungalow which is extremely messy and disorganized.

You on the other hand, are young, have your life ahead of you, have a solid trust fund and have the time and space that you need to effectively cold approach, get a woman involved with your life, go places with her, without needing to be on the grind to pay bills just to survive. Therefore, you should make use of your youthful energy, better living situation, and make either baby steps or full on approaching because the clock is ticking. You don't want to wake up one day and find that you've gotten old, have new responsibilities and may not be in a position where cold approach is even possible (ie because you don't have the time, and can't make the time, to do so), and worst, escortcelling starts "feeling" more of a natural option (where as now, as you are youthful, it's more of a cop-out / disgraceful option - religions considerations (ie puking gross option any age) aside). In this sense, I don't lead by example, but by horror., I'm likely the worst case scenario of your future too unless you make corrective action and seize the day.

 

[eli77]

Dating has gone downhill in the last decade especially with social media and dating apps maybe you just haven't found the right one then again i'm a big fan of positive thinking.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Dating has gone downhill in the last decade especially with social media and dating apps maybe you just haven't found the right one then again i'm a big fan of positive thinking.

Idk where, if, or how I'd manage to find the right one tbh

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I tend to like to have an end-game and think that if there is a plan, beyond cold-approach, that it should become natural to want to cold-approach because it's part of that plan. Do you have your logistics sorted out as to what you would do if a woman was interested? That's great if you do! I don't.

I have posted in other threads about how difficult my living situation is, and I really don't have any breathing space to involve any woman in my life and consequently don't feel very motivated. I have taken a three month leave of absence from work just to take care of my mother (she had a fall a few months back and need a knee-replacement surgery). My folks are like in their 80s and we all live together in one floor in a bungalow which is extremely messy and disorganized.

You on the other hand, are young, have your life ahead of you, have a solid trust fund and have the time and space that you need to effectively cold approach, get a woman involved with your life, go places with her, without needing to be on the grind to pay bills just to survive. Therefore, you should make use of your youthful energy, better living situation, and make either baby steps or full on approaching because the clock is ticking. You don't want to wake up one day and find that you've gotten old, have new responsibilities and may not be in a position where cold approach is even possible (ie because you don't have the time, and can't make the time, to do so), and worst, escortcelling starts "feeling" more of a natural option (where as now, as you are youthful, it's more of a cop-out / disgraceful option - religions considerations (ie puking gross option any age) aside). In this sense, I don't lead by example, but by horror., I'm likely the worst case scenario of your future too unless you make corrective action and seize the day.

I think a huge barrier to the prospect of me learning to approach is that it's likely that traditional approach venues such as bars and the like wouldn't really suit me. But there's no real alternative. I wouldn't find the sort of woman I'm looking for at a bar or some sort of club, and if I do daygame I feel like I'd just get cancelled and named and shamed on the internet. I've been a attacked by cancel culture already, about five years ago I got into a public argument with a communist that could have very well turned into a physical fight and the kip dynamite lookin mf took a pic of me, posted it on social media, and tried to defame my character saying that I physically attacked him and that I was a nazi or something. Both of which were baseless accusations of course, and I take always great offense to being accused of harbouring nazi sympathies since my family suffered under national socialist rule. Luckily nothing really came of being named and shamed on the web and the fgt removed the post after a day or so but it still was quite a stressful experience for me. It could have turned into a physical fight very quickly, the main reason it didn't is because I didn't think it was worth it to fight such a skinny pipsqueak nerd. Had he tried to lay a hand on me tho he would have been sorry, I would have beaten the crap out of him. Even though these fgts tried to cancel me for political reasons and not because I was approaching women in public, the experience has left me paranoid of being cancelled on the internet and with the SJW psyop to demonize approaching women offline makes me scared to try approaching irl in earnest. But then again the learning curve is so steep that even if there was zero chance of being called out by SJWs I still most likely wouldn't try it

 

[corrector]

I think a huge barrier to the prospect of me learning to approach is that it's likely that traditional approach venues such as bars and the like wouldn't really suit me. But there's no real alternative. I wouldn't find the sort of woman I'm looking for at a bar or some sort of club, and if I do daygame I feel like I'd just get cancelled and named and shamed on the internet. I've been a attacked by cancel culture already, about five years ago I got into a public argument with a communist that could have very well turned into a physical fight and the kip dynamite lookin mf took a pic of me, posted it on social media, and tried to defame my character saying that I physically attacked him and that I was a nazi or something. Both of which were baseless accusations of course, and I take always great offense to being accused of harbouring nazi sympathies since my family suffered under national socialist rule. Luckily nothing really came of being named and shamed on the web and the fgt removed the post after a day or so but it still was quite a stressful experience for me. It could have turned into a physical fight very quickly, the main reason it didn't is because I didn't think it was worth it to fight such a skinny pipsqueak nerd. Had he tried to lay a hand on me tho he would have been sorry, I would have beaten the crap out of him. Even though these fgts tried to cancel me for political reasons and not because I was approaching women in public, the experience has left me paranoid of being cancelled on the internet and with the SJW psyop to demonize approaching women offline makes me scared to try approaching irl in earnest. But then again the learning curve is so steep that even if there was zero chance of being called out by SJWs I still most likely wouldn't try it

Understanding your story, you got in a verbal altercation with someone who spited you by smearing you on social media. That is not likely to happen when you are cold approaching women that have pre-selected you to cold-approach them. That goes back to the question. What Indicators of Interest (IOIs) do you normally get in public? What type of women are giving you IOIs?

You sound like you are a solid normie and shouldn't get cancelled for doing a cold-approach. You were studying to do baby steps. (ie going near a girl but not engaging her, asking fo rthe time?). You should at least resume those types of baby-step approaches and just fit it into your daily routine, using your "dead time" (ie time waiting in line, time that you would be doing something unproductive anyway), that way you are not making time, or spending good time after bad doing these baby-steps. This way there is no personal loss in terms of time which means the leaning curve should be free. If it's a free learning curve that's not taxing your time or mental health, then what is there to lose by being on that curve? It's not like you'll lose anything for trying. You'll more likely lose in the long-run for doing nothing.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Understanding your story, you got in a verbal altercation with someone who spited you by smearing you on social media. That is not likely to happen when you are cold approaching women that have pre-selected you to cold-approach them. That goes back to the question. What Indicators of Interest (IOIs) do you normally get in public? What type of women are giving you IOIs?

You sound like you are a solid normie and shouldn't get cancelled for doing a cold-approach. You were studying to do baby steps. (ie going near a girl but not engaging her, asking fo rthe time?). You should at least resume those types of baby-step approaches and just fit it into your daily routine, using your "dead time" (ie time waiting in line, time that you would be doing something unproductive anyway), that way you are not making time, or spending good time after bad doing these baby-steps. This way there is no personal loss in terms of time which means the leaning curve should be free. If it's a free learning curve that's not taxing your time or mental health, then what is there to lose by being on that curve? It's not like you'll lose anything for trying. You'll more likely lose in the long-run for doing nothing.

I don't really get any IOIs in public at all, at least none that I notice. I've never really caught any girls checking me out in public or anything like that. But usually I only leave my house to go to the store, the temple, or the gym. Also as I said before, when I was in college and playing a lot of gigs at the same bar sometimes there were women that would talk to me for a bit after the show, but none of that ever went anywhere and it was already more than five years ago anyway. I really don't know if there's any women checking me out in public, but I imagine if there is it's mostly women that I'm not attracted to.

I am indeed mostly normie but I'm also introverted and I have more of a niche appearance and interests. In general I've been told by friends of mine that I'm not really very relatable to others. I feel like the only women who'd be receptive to my approaches are ones who are into the same stuff as I am, but irl I never really come across women who could be. For example I'm really into rock n roll, and appearance wise I look like I could have been in a band in the 70s, but most girls in their 20s don't really listen to that kinda stuff so there's no common interest there. Despite the fact that I'm a pretty normal guy there's a lot of things about me that are more niche

 

[SW15]

For example I'm really into rock n roll, and appearance wise I look like I could have been in a band in the 70s, but most girls in their 20s don't really listen to that kinda stuff so there's no common interest there.

1970s-1980s rock isn't popular with women who are 18-27 right now. They weren't alive then.

 

[corrector]

1970s-1980s rock isn't popular with women who are 18-27 right now. They weren't alive then.

That is ignorant. Its a niche interest. Do you understand what that means?

 

[BergischerLöwe]

That is ignorant. Its a niche interest. Do you understand what that means?

Well for what it's worth it's indeed true that women in their 20s don't listen to that really. Most guys in that age group don't even. 90% of the music I listen to is from between the years 1954 to about 1979. My friends who also play music listen to that kinda stuff but outside them nobody my age that I know really shares that interest.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

So this thread is basically two months old now and I'm still no closer to figuring out what I should do. It still appears that in my case there is no good option and I should just learn to cope. I don't see the situation I'm in ever changing. Apparently all I can do as far as trying to meet women is just to keep swiping and hope that I luck out somehow . Maybe having a fulfilling love life isn't something I can realistically hope for in this degenerate modern society

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I think it makes total sense. Rather than being with women that annoy you and gaslight you having a peace of mind is priceless. Imagine being asexual. Might be nice not being a pathetic women chaser simp and have some dignity.

The next level is letting go of the world then you become a zen monk. Sounds nice to me if it works out.

Schopenhauer said only few can do it but living an asceting life is one of the best ways.


' Schopenhauer recommends the disposition of asceticism as the solution of the constant suffering and striving of the human condition. With asceticism one tries to break the never-ending circle of the will by renunciation, resignation, and denial of the will-to-live'

Wow very interesting post. Thank you. I always come back to the same conclusion myself. This constant striving for something makes me ****in miserable. Struggling w PMO due to it. I recently had to kind of curb my ambitions to relax a bit even tho im technically missing out on business. F it.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Its very easy to become worn out with approaching and pursuing women because after 25 the reality is most men could approach 100 women only around 10% would actually end up sleeping with him

And in amongst that other 90% you could have some really bad apples and low quality trash which in itself is tiring and demotivating to deal with

Earlier in the week I had an encounter with a HB8 in my gym , we went from going on a date this weekend to removing each other on social media within about 36 hours....... other than some mental gymnastics and experience it provided little value to me and was tiring more than anything

I still enjoy meeting new women because every so often you meet one that is like wow this chick is really hot and really cool

And also you can get to do some really freaky sh1t in bed with some of them

I will admit the process of getting to that stage isn't straightforward and there is A LOT to be said for just having tranquility in your life

Totally. Im 28 and im coming to this conclusion myself. I do have an immense drive to meet that 1 girl out of 500 sometimes cuz i know they're out there. I did meet one after 6 months of game (19 year old very cute feminine not jaded mexican) but after two dates she said we had no spark. I cant wait to get out of this country lol.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

BTW OP i havent read the whole forum yet but what if u tried leaving the city or even country? It sounds like youre in a sh1t area. Thats my plan once i figure out my financial situation and get some needed licensing for biz reasons.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

BTW OP i havent read the whole forum yet but what if u tried leaving the city or even country? It sounds like youre in a sh1t area. Thats my plan once i figure out my financial situation and get some needed licensing for biz reasons.

I want to leave the city and/or country, but I haven't really planned for it in earnest. I'm supposed to get inheritance money when my late grandfather's estate clears, and with it I want to buy land somewhere else and live there but idk exactly where. I could in theory leave the country but idk which country to go to. I have dual US/German citizenship so I could live anywhere in the EU. I speak German so I could live anywhere in the German speaking world without much difficulty and that area isn't foreign to me at all, but due to the current political situation in Europe I'd be a little nervous about moving there. One really difficult thing in my case with the prospect of leaving the country is that I don't really have any sort of career or even a steady job. I'm a musician but that doesn't pay the rent and I live off of trust fund money, but I'm not one of these bro trust fund kids who go to clubs all the time and travel super often. For what it's worth I have this idea that perhaps women from Europe would be better to date but I haven't had any opportunity to date any. Even though I'm originally from Germany I grew up in the states and have never been with any women from the Old Country. So idk if I'm even correct in saying that I'd like women from Old Country more since my only frame of reference is American women anyway. But yeah it doesn't seem like I'd find what I'm looking for where I'm at now either.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

1970s-1980s rock isn't popular with women who are 18-27 right now. They weren't alive then.

I doubt many 18-27 year old girls watch John Holmes porn either. But apparently, they think I resemble a porn star. And I do resemble Mr. Holmes.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I want to leave the city and/or country, but I haven't really planned for it in earnest. I'm supposed to get inheritance money when my late grandfather's estate clears, and with it I want to buy land somewhere else and live there but idk exactly where. I could in theory leave the country but idk which country to go to. I have dual US/German citizenship so I could live anywhere in the EU. I speak German so I could live anywhere in the German speaking world without much difficulty and that area isn't foreign to me at all, but due to the current political situation in Europe I'd be a little nervous about moving there. One really difficult thing in my case with the prospect of leaving the country is that I don't really have any sort of career or even a steady job. I'm a musician but that doesn't pay the rent and I live off of trust fund money, but I'm not one of these bro trust fund kids who go to clubs all the time and travel super often. For what it's worth I have this idea that perhaps women from Europe would be better to date but I haven't had any opportunity to date any. Even though I'm originally from Germany I grew up in the states and have never been with any women from the Old Country. So idk if I'm even correct in saying that I'd like women from Old Country more since my only frame of reference is American women anyway. But yeah it doesn't seem like I'd find what I'm looking for where I'm at now either.

Oh dude! Thats it! Problem solved. U never dated a foreign woman?

I do not date American women at all. I exclusively go for foreign women.

American women stopped making men's juices flow somewhere in the late 90s (altho the process dates from the 60s). If you're a sensitive, masculine and intelligent guy, American women will repel you. Thats just how it is in my experience. Ive met and approached thousands by the way, I literally have ZERO desire.

I lived in Prague for a while, great experience. You will 100% find what you're looking for. Never seen so many girls walking around with baby strollers throughout the day until i moved there. Also theyre all carrying rose bouqets because guys are proposing left and right.

Do not go to Germany. You will regret it. German women are almost as bad as Americans, just less trashy and more educated but not in a good way. They're like cold HR reps who lack any sort of feminine energy. Stay away from Western women, France might be the exception but not really.

As far as the job situation, so what? That means you're used to being frugal im assuming. It also sounds like you're not ultrarich from it but can live comfortably. Awesome! U get to be the Shopenhaurean ascetic. That being said, Amazon is hiring in Prague and u could work there for extra cash while u look for gigs and stuff. But yeah, you're already basically making pennies in a **** part of the US so u got nothing to lose, u might as well be making pennies in an awesome different country/city.

American women are not exciting or attractive at all. I've never met a single one. The closest thing I met to an American was really a 19 year old Dominican in Miami who grew up there but she was heavilly influenced by latin culture and things didnt work out anyway.

Nothing is wrong with you. U sound like an intelligent and driven guy, maybe a bit apathetic but overall go get your juices flowing abroad and you'll be surprised.