No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[corrector]

Everyone there is under the expectation that they may wind up meeting someone. Even if only for a short chat. If you go to a bar/club as a woman. You can expect to be approached. As a man, it is not expected , but certainly possible. unlike, say, a grocery store. Where no one expects an interaction. Also, it is acceptable to approach st at bar. And, unless the dude is hideous, creepy or innapropriatly drunk, Girls find it a pleasant experience. And most rejections are soft.

What about at churches?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What about at churches?

People tend to be friendly at church.

 

[corrector]

People tend to be friendly at church.

Oh yeah, I forgot, the OP say mainly Indians at temple and they tend to stick to their own. Guess that leaves bars for OP then.

 

[SW15]

I consider bars/clubs to be warm approaches.

In what way? The person is a complete stranger and the connection is tenuous as best. There's no expectation that you and her will ever be in the same bar at the same time again, just like there'd be no expectation of that at the mall/grocery store.

Everyone there is under the expectation that they may wind up meeting someone. Even if only for a short chat. If you go to a bar/club as a woman. You can expect to be approached. As a man, it is not expected , but certainly possible. unlike, say, a grocery store. Where no one expects an interaction. Also, it is acceptable to approach st at bar. And, unless the dude is hideous, creepy or innapropriatly drunk, Girls find it a pleasant experience. And most rejections are soft.

There is an idea that women go to bars because they are seeking new penis. After all, why bother going to a bar if not seeking new penis?

I've believed that women in bars are more likely to be single and open to new interactions as compared to women randomly outdoors or in indoor retail settings.

However, the hype of bars often fails to meet reality.

Most nightlife venues are sausage fests, much like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

Online dating websites in the 1990s were created as a reaction to the negative elements of the 1970s-1990s bar scene.

I'm not sure there's much of a difference between harsh rejections and soft rejections. Neither results in a man getting to enjoy some vagina.

I do think approaching at bars is slightly easier than approaching outdoors or in the indoor retail settings simply because of the expectation of approaching and because of alcohol. Bar approaches are not easy approaches though.

 

[corrector]

Soft rejections can be chalked off to a numbers game or circumstantial factors beyond the interaction while hard rejections mean you really strook out, got blown off, or feel bad about the interaction and is a hit to the ego. Nuclear level ones are another story. So a soft rejection is one less no to the yes while a hard rejection is better reevaluate your gaming strategy.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

That's a pointless exercise. That's going to burn prospects. How would someone arrange a date and collect contact information with a dead phone? He'd have to carry around a pen and paper.

The point of the exercise was to do no more than ask for the time. It wasn't a real approach

 

[corrector]

The point of the exercise was to do no more than ask for the time. It wasn't a real approach

You still burned a potential proespect. You cant burn prospects if you dont approach them. I have burned much less prospects by doing nothing. Burning a lead is way worst than regret of not approaching in the first place.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

You are approaching girls that have given you IOIs though right? What type of IOIs did you get yesterday or the past week? Lets talk about IOIs then. How many IOIs were from women you wanted to approach?

It sounds like you have potantial to reach your goals and should be successful on here.

I can't remember the last time I got any IOIs from girls I came across irl. It's been a while. I'm not in any situations where I'm engaging with single women I could date anyway so I'm not getting any IOIs from that. Likewise I've never really caught women checking me out when I'm in public somewhere minding my own business. If there's some that are indeed doing that I never notice. I don't expect to encounter any women during my day to day activities anyway.

In my college years when my band was playing a lot of gigs, a couple times I'd see girls in the audience looking at me and once or twice there was women who would talk to me after the show, but nothing ever came of that. Even if a girl tries to chat me up after a gig I can't really talk for long since I'd have to help my bandmates carry equipment back to the van. It's been a really long time since that's happened tho, since in the past few years my band has hardly played any gigs. There's been times where I've gotten girls' numbers irl but whenever that's happened the girl has approached me and it was always a girl who had a boyfriend already. Thus nothing came of those. Another time in late 2017 there was a hot girl in one of my college courses who added me on FB out of nowhere, and I was talking to her on there for like a week and it was going alright and I alluded to the prospect of us hanging out or something, but I didn't actually pull the trigger since she had a boyfriend already. Even if I managed to hook up with that one I would have felt bad about going after a girl who wasn't single, even if it was only nominally so. With real life IOIs, the few times I've gotten them I've never been able to gain anything from it.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

You still burned a potential proespect. You cant burn prospects if you dont approach them. I have burned much less prospects by doing nothing. Burning a lead is way worst than regret of not approaching in the first place.

I didn't really consider that to be a lead tho. It wasn't meant to be one

 

[corrector]

I didn't really consider that to be a lead tho. It wasn't meant to be one

Have you burned a lead before?

 

[corrector]

I can't remember the last time I got any IOIs from girls I came across irl. It's been a while. I'm not in any situations where I'm engaging with single women I could date anyway so I'm not getting any IOIs from that. Likewise I've never really caught women checking me out when I'm in public somewhere minding my own business. If there's some that are indeed doing that I never notice. I don't expect to encounter any women during my day to day activities anyway.

In my college years when my band was playing a lot of gigs, a couple times I'd see girls in the audience looking at me and once or twice there was women who would talk to me after the show, but nothing ever came of that. Even if a girl tries to chat me up after a gig I can't really talk for long since I'd have to help my bandmates carry equipment back to the van. It's been a really long time since that's happened tho, since in the past few years my band has hardly played any gigs. There's been times where I've gotten girls' numbers irl but whenever that's happened the girl has approached me and it was always a girl who had a boyfriend already. Thus nothing came of those. Another time in late 2017 there was a hot girl in one of my college courses who added me on FB out of nowhere, and I was talking to her on there for like a week and it was going alright and I alluded to the prospect of us hanging out or something, but I didn't actually pull the trigger since she had a boyfriend already. Even if I managed to hook up with that one I would have felt bad about going after a girl who wasn't single, even if it was only nominally so. With real life IOIs, the few times I've gotten them I've never been able to gain anything from it.

Maybe they wanted to trade up with you rather than cheat on their bf. Trading up is different from cheating, right?

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Maybe they wanted to trade up with you rather than cheat on their bf. Trading up is different from cheating, right?

It may be slightly different from cheating but if a girl trades up like that she might do it again in the future. My thoughts on the hot girl from class, for example, was that if she was willing to leave her man for me, then she would in turn be willing to ditch me for somebody else. Still I'm aware that many women who wish to leave their boyfriends already have another guy lined up when the relationship is nominally still going.

 

[corrector]

It may be slightly different from cheating but if a girl trades up like that she might do it again in the future. My thoughts on the hot girl from class, for example, was that if she was willing to leave her man for me, then she would in turn be willing to ditch me for somebody else. Still I'm aware that many women who wish to leave their boyfriends already have another guy lined up when the relationship is nominally still going.

Women are rarely single. The good ones are taken. Would you rather be the tradeup guy or the rebound guy or that guy she goes for but has a best friend and allot of orbitors? Do you realistically expect to meet a single hot lady that really has no guys in her life? In fact there is a bigger chance she has a high body count if she is not in a relationship already to keep her in check! Previously taken is better than 304.

 

[SW15]

The point of the exercise was to do no more than ask for the time. It wasn't a real approach

That's still one of the dumbest ideas I've ever read.

 

[corrector]

That's still one of the dumbest ideas I've ever read.

That is like kicking on someone taking baby steps. Very helpful and encouraging comments from you of all people. I am very disappointed.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

That is like kicking on someone taking baby steps. Very helpful and encouraging comments from you of all people. I am very disappointed.

Especially when just going out and approaching is something I'm not really able to do atm. I'd need to break it down into smaller steps

 

[corrector]

Especially when just going out and approaching is something I'm not really able to do atm. I'd need to break it down into smaller steps

Keep making progressive baby steps. Each day you don't at least make a baby step is a day wasted, and too many days wasted will mean you are missing out. You should map things out and journel them. Now we already know you can ask someone for the time. Try an escalate it a bit more. Try the same thing but more provocative. (ie do the same exact same thing, but say, (smile) I'm just messing with you, what are you up to?" (If she's the right type of person that wants to be game she'll play along and bingo you've started a chat. If you are dealing with a sourpuss then her loss)

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Women are rarely single. The good ones are taken. Would you rather be the tradeup guy or the rebound guy or that guy she goes for but has a best friend and allot of orbitors? Do you realistically expect to meet a single hot lady that really has no guys in her life? In fact there is a bigger chance she has a high body count if she is not in a relationship already to keep her in check! Previously taken is better than 304.

Attractive people are rarely, if ever, truly single.

 

[corrector]

Attractive people are rarely, if ever, truly single.

Exactly, you are either going to be a trade-up, trade-down, rebound, or orbitor and that's that. Only the rebound you can say she's kinda single (ie normally a lucky beta orbiter she's giving a chance to). If you have that mindset going in, then you won't take it too much into account if she has a bf, best friend or other guy in the background as it goes with the territory.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Do you realistically expect to meet a single hot lady that really has no guys in her life? In fact there is a bigger chance she has a high body count if she is not in a relationship already to keep her in check! Previously taken is better than 304.

No I don't realistically expect that. With any woman you meet these days, you have to assume that there's other guys she's talking to. Still tho with that situation I mentioned earlier about the girl from class I felt weird about potentially hooking up with a girl who was already in a relationship mainly because I had never actually stolen a woman from another man. To this day I still really haven't.