More than a handful of us (Yours truly included)lost our V Cards after being pulled into bed BEFORE the age of 13 by a much older, predatory woman, who was obtuse to our consent. I bring this up to point out to you, GM: We've all got obstacles to outmaneuver in the realm of dating and mating, whether it's some form of serious autism*, or psychological trauma resulting from an event that, at the very least, bordered on rape. Your circumstances really aren't as special or unique as you portray them
"I went to college (and had a class) with a football player who would boast to anyone who would listen about the fact he lost his v-card at 13. Needless to say, he was a ladies man in college too"
And, like most modern men, you refused to humble yourself long enough to walk up to a man who has the things you yourself desire and ask outright: "What specifically do you do to succeed?" Even though this very process is the one ALL men throughout the history of our species have used to get ahead in life: "Stop being so arrogant as to think you're going to re-invent the wheel, and learn how sh-t works. By doing so, you can change the game"
*Given there's ample evidence indicating that damned near ALL men are on the spectrum to some degree
https://reason.com/2007/09/12/could-it-be-that-all-men-are-a/ (Just as all women are Borderline to various extent), even this alleged Autism of yours ain't an especially singular difficulty