my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[BaronOfHair]

One good thing came from hanging out with him: I got my first date in 5 years.

The fact I came across as the better option speaks volumes of how strange/annoying he is.

When one is famished, chowing down on the corpse of an opossum that's been laying in the middle of the highway for nearly a week is cause for celebration. Sometimes, we relish whatever victories we can scrounge up, no matter how objectionablely lackluster they are

 

[BaronOfHair]

I described what occurs

Many gals are engaging in sexual activity beyond self-stimulation at age 13... It's statistically improbable that their lovers are primairly guys in Chris D'Delia's age bracket, which means more than a few 13 year old MALES are also sexually active by this age

If we're serious about helping men who aren't doing well to help themselves, it's incumbent on us to ask those men who ARE crushing it in life what they're doing differently, then encouraging the unsuccesful to adopt/adapt those same tactics and strategies

Spending more than 5 minutes per day grousing over what women are or aren't doing is The Manosphere equivalent of The Woke spending most of their efforts on lamenting the existence of White Privilege, rather than turning their attention towards feeding the hungry and the like

 

[Manure Spherian]

Spending more than 5 minutes per day grousing over what women are or aren't doing is The Manosphere equivalent of The Woke spending most of their efforts on lamenting the existence of White Privilege, rather than turning their attention towards feeding the hungry and the like

By stating how early women get experimental and the sort of males they give first dibs too, I am affirming my point that wanting and blowing off this area of life in the hopes of Revenge of the Nerds can backfire considering women don’t want men who don’t have women.

As I said, when people got married early, this wasn’t an issue. Post Sexual Revolution it is consisting after it it takes women to get women in the same way an entrepreneur needs money to get money. I don’t mind your opposing view, but I believe this is patently obvious.

Men who want women and reach their early 20s with no or little experience should be scared, I believe, and should start making serious life adjustments. The more time passes, the harder it gets. I almost got to that point.

 

[Manure Spherian]

@BaronOfHair
As for offering advice, I don’t think the OP should even attempt dating with his living conditions, even though I empathize with his feeling.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Men who want women and reach their early 20s with no or little experience should be scared...

If that fear prompts them to engage in heavy self-reflection/adopting healthier behaviors, it(that fear)'s something to be grateful for

 

[BaronOfHair]

@BaronOfHair
As for offering advice, I don’t think the OP should even attempt dating with his living conditions, even though I empathize with his feeling.

As is so often the case, difficulties snagging a mate are just symptoms of more serious difficulties in a fella's life. OP is sadly not in a frame of mind to really be receptive to guidance

 

[Clockwerk50]

Ok, to address the topic of working out (not just push-ups; working out in general), I admit working out could benefit me. In fact, the building I live in has a gym (which I've used before). I've even posted a story on here about a female neighbor giving an IOI in the gym.

As for your question of whether I'm looking for help: Yeah. As long as the help is realistic.

@GoodMan32 I'm glad you're willing to help yourself. It seems the issue isn't about thinking but rather taking action, as some problems can only be solved through doing rather than overthinking.

Over the next few weeks, can we focus our time and energy on activities that promote your personal growth? It would be perfect if you are passionate about the activity you choose and you are consistent. Here are some examples but you can choose your own:

• Practicing MMA
• Photography
• Raising a pet
• Playing an instrument
• Walking or running around the neighborhood
• Working out
• Building Lego
• Fashion
• Dancing
• Working on a car

Can we circle back in two weeks?

 

[GoodMan32]

When one is famished, chowing down on the corpse of an opossum that's been laying in the middle of the highway for nearly a week is cause for celebration. Sometimes, we relish whatever victories we can scrounge up, no matter how objectionablely lackluster they are

This woman ended up really wanting a 2nd date with me even after all the baggage I revealed on the 1st date. I'd call that a major victory (even if I ultimately failed at keeping her interested until the 2nd date)

 

[GoodMan32]

By stating how early women get experimental and the sort of males they give first dibs too, I am affirming my point that wanting and blowing off this area of life in the hopes of Revenge of the Nerds can backfire considering women don’t want men who don’t have women.

As I said, when people got married early, this wasn’t an issue. Post Sexual Revolution it is consisting after it it takes women to get women in the same way an entrepreneur needs money to get money. I don’t mind your opposing view, but I believe this is patently obvious.

Men who want women and reach their early 20s with no or little experience should be scared, I believe, and should start making serious life adjustments. The more time passes, the harder it gets. I almost got to that point.

It's true, as the other poster said, there are obviously sexually active 13 year old males too (hell, I went to school with a guy who lost his v-card to his 13 year old girlfriend at 12).

I also went to college (and had a class) with a football player who would boast to anyone who would listen about the fact he lost his v-card at 13. Needless to say, he was a ladies man in college too. Even though his popularity probably waned after college (as he wasn't good enough for the NFL), I'd venture to guess he's still doing better than average in the woman department today.

My point? The type of guy to get laid at 13 will likely grow up to be the type of guy to get easy sex as an adult.

On the other hand, the type of guy to struggle at 13 (or 20 for that matter) is likely to still struggle at 30)

 

[GoodMan32]

@GoodMan32 I'm glad you're willing to help yourself. It seems the issue isn't about thinking but rather taking action, as some problems can only be solved through doing rather than overthinking.

Over the next few weeks, can we focus our time and energy on activities that promote your personal growth? It would be perfect if you are passionate about the activity you choose and you are consistent. Here are some examples but you can choose your own:

• Practicing MMA
• Photography
• Raising a pet
• Playing an instrument
• Walking or running around the neighborhood
• Working out
• Building Lego
• Fashion
• Dancing
• Working on a car

Can we circle back in two weeks?

I can do some of those.

 

[Manure Spherian]

On the other hand, the type of guy to struggle at 13 (or 20 for that matter) is likely to still struggle at 30)

I’d say a man these days better get this area squared away in high school or at least by 20 years old.

I think sex at 13 is a very bad idea.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It's true, as the other poster said, there are obviously sexually active 13 year old males too (hell, I went to school with a guy who lost his v-card to his 13 year old girlfriend at 12

More than a handful of us (Yours truly included)lost our V Cards after being pulled into bed BEFORE the age of 13 by a much older, predatory woman, who was obtuse to our consent. I bring this up to point out to you, GM: We've all got obstacles to outmaneuver in the realm of dating and mating, whether it's some form of serious autism*, or psychological trauma resulting from an event that, at the very least, bordered on rape. Your circumstances really aren't as special or unique as you portray them


"I went to college (and had a class) with a football player who would boast to anyone who would listen about the fact he lost his v-card at 13. Needless to say, he was a ladies man in college too"

And, like most modern men, you refused to humble yourself long enough to walk up to a man who has the things you yourself desire and ask outright: "What specifically do you do to succeed?" Even though this very process is the one ALL men throughout the history of our species have used to get ahead in life: "Stop being so arrogant as to think you're going to re-invent the wheel, and learn how sh-t works. By doing so, you can change the game"



*Given there's ample evidence indicating that damned near ALL men are on the spectrum to some degree https://reason.com/2007/09/12/could-it-be-that-all-men-are-a/ (Just as all women are Borderline to various extent), even this alleged Autism of yours ain't an especially singular difficulty

 

[GoodMan32]

More than a handful of us (Yours truly included)lost our V Cards after being pulled into bed BEFORE the age of 13 by a much older, predatory woman, who was obtuse to our consent. I bring this up to point out to you, GM: We've all got obstacles to outmaneuver in the realm of dating and mating, whether it's some form of serious autism*, or psychological trauma resulting from an event that, at the very least, bordered on rape. Your circumstances really aren't as special or unique as you portray them


"I went to college (and had a class) with a football player who would boast to anyone who would listen about the fact he lost his v-card at 13. Needless to say, he was a ladies man in college too"

And, like most modern men, you refused to humble yourself long enough to walk up to a man who has the things you yourself desire and ask outright: "What specifically do you do to succeed?" Even though this very process is the one ALL men throughout the history of our species have used to get ahead in life: "Stop being so arrogant as to think you're going to re-invent the wheel, and learn how sh-t works. By doing so, you can change the game"



*Given there's ample evidence indicating that damned near ALL men are on the spectrum to some degree https://reason.com/2007/09/12/could-it-be-that-all-men-are-a/ (Just as all women are Borderline to various extent), even this alleged Autism of yours ain't an especially singular difficulty

Fascinating article about men and autism. Even when only counting documented cases, autism is way more common in guys than broads.

I suppose it's too late to go back to 2010 and ask that football player I had a class with what he did to succeed. What works for a college football player isn't necessarily going to work for a skinny socially awkward white man, however.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I suppose it's too late to go back to 2010 and ask that football player I had a class with what he did to succeed.

I suspect what worked for him: athleticism, popularity, good looks, and maybe being a piece of sh-t, characteristics hardly any teenager has, some of which can’t be attained.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I suspect what worked for him: athleticism, popularity, good looks, and maybe being a piece of sh-t, characteristics hardly any teenager has, some of which can’t be attained.

Lots of attractive guys are on sports teams, yet it's hardly all or even most of them who are lady killers

 

[Manure Spherian]

Lots of attractive guys are on sports teams, yet it's hardly all or even most of them who are lady killers

Correct. Most teenagers don’t know how to seduce women. And I don’t think early teens should.

 

[GoodMan32]

Lots of attractive guys are on sports teams, yet it's hardly all or even most of them who are lady killers

High school sports teams don't guarantee success with the ladies.

College sports teams (a super popular sport like football or basketball), on the other hand? Absolutely panty soakers (from my observations in college)

A less popular college sport like baseball (despite the MLB being super popular, college baseball isn't for some reason) or cross country, different story.

 

[needimprovement250]

What is experience in a LTR for u?

I would probably say a relationship of a year or longer.

 

[needimprovement250]

Correct. Historically this wasn’t an issue when people married young and waited for marriage. They got experience together. Now they do not. And considering many women start getting experience at thirteen—yes, thirteen—those who entertain Revenge of the Nerds and Silver Foxes should be afraid.

So the biggest dilemma inexperienced men like me are facing is how do we get out of this situation. It seems like most women ask questions related to this by bringing up past relationships or questions about your exes. In that scenario, I would probably try and say that I don’t want to talk about that at this point in time and change the subject. And I would try and convey that with some charm, not in an angry or defensive way since that would just raise red flags if it was done that way.

 

[needimprovement250]

We're all relearning, unlearning, and evolving. You fellas who's stock and trade is lamenting your perceived deficits really aren't that special

I’m just saying that if women find out you’ve never dated or been in a relationship, and not had much sex by your 30’s, they’re gonna find that very alarming and off putting.