my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[MatureDJ]

Most people think I'm a henchman for Dr.Evil, but being taller than the average Dutchman has helped them disregard my villainy.

My goodness, you must be 2 meters! No wonder, your love life has been on easy mode.

 

[GoodMan32]

That can help a guy get laid so long as he's got a solid height.

Here's the real kicker: He's 5'6" and skinny. And no, he isn't Hispanic (Only mentioning this part because it's been said on the forum that Hispanic men can get away with being short)

 

[GoodMan32]

Why stop there? You were certainly forthright with all the other negative aspects of your life.

But thanks for the blow-by-blow, now I understand why she bailed on you.

Being on the spectrum gets you judged way more than the other negative stuff I mentioned.

There was no way I could have answered her question of how I knew the other guy without revealing the fact I don't have a car.

I suppose I could have stopped short of mentioning my social phobia (but if she got involved with me, my social phobia would have come out sooner or later anyway)

When name-dropping the building I live in, I knew I ran the risk of having her figure out there's got to be more to the story (of how a guy with my income lives here). All in all though, one good thing came from name-dropping my building: She said she's always wanted to use my building's pool.

I have the power to grant her access to the pool. Had I kept her interested just a tad longer, I would have gotten to see her in a bikini.

Furthermore, in spite of all the baggage I mentioned on our 1st date:

• She sat outside on a bench chatting with me for 2 and a half hours after the date
• When I asked her "What do you want me to tell him when the annoying/strange guy inevitably asks if we had sex?," she said feel free to tell him we had sex
• She offered me a ride to the dermatologist
• 2 days after our date, she asked me about a 2nd date. On day 3, she asked me about a 2nd date again.

Disclaimer: I know the vast majority of the female population would run after that 1st date. The fact she didn't immediately run after hearing about my baggage was what made me think we had potential.

 

[Clockwerk50]

More like I work full time (and don't have time to address every single point)

@GoodMan32 What’s going on with all this deflection? It seems like there are excuses and lack of ownership in every post.

In the original post, I challenged you to do some push-ups, something positive that could increase your attractiveness. Instead, you’ve chosen to ignore it, defend yourself and write lengthy posts about your past relationships, which don’t seem to bring you any benefit. From my perspective, your posts come across as somewhat self-centered, reflecting narcissistic qualities, as you often steer the conversation toward yourself. You are missing the inner voice that should remind you that you’re not only wasting everyone's time, but you are boring everyone else. This is the real reason why women do not like to spend time with you; this deep-rooted selfishness.

With that in mind, I’ll keep it simple and just ask one question:

With all these posts and topics in this forum, are you genuinely seeking help from the members here, and are you willing to put in the effort to improve yourself? If you are committed to making that effort, the DEERing needs to stop.

Just a yes or no answer is all that’s needed—no further explanation required. If you ignore this, I will take it as no help needed.

 

[corrector]

@GoodMan32 What’s going on with all this deflection? It seems like there are excuses and lack of ownership in every post.

In the original post, I challenged you to do some push-ups, something positive that could increase your attractiveness. Instead, you’ve chosen to ignore it, defend yourself and write lengthy posts about your past relationships, which don’t seem to bring you any benefit. From my perspective, your posts come across as somewhat self-centered, reflecting narcissistic qualities, as you often steer the conversation toward yourself. You are missing the inner voice that should remind you that you’re not only wasting everyone's time, but you are boring everyone else. This is the real reason why women do not like to spend time with you; this deep-rooted selfishness.

With that in mind, I’ll keep it simple and just ask one question:

With all these posts and topics in this forum, are you genuinely seeking help from the members here, and are you willing to put in the effort to improve yourself? If you are committed to making that effort, the DEERing needs to stop.

Just a yes or no answer is all that’s needed—no further explanation required. If you ignore this, I will take it as no help needed.

I have done pushups. It did not help me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

We're already at 5 pages. This has to be a record of some sort, albeit one which requires mourning, rather than celebration

 

[BaronOfHair]

Its a big dealbreaker for women and only guys who are older and inexperienced can truly understand how much experience matters to people when you’re someone who has none.

We're all relearning, unlearning, and evolving. You fellas who's stock and trade is lamenting your perceived deficits really aren't that special

 

[BaronOfHair]

You are literally playing the game on Death March difficulty level lol

1:00-1:09

 

[BaronOfHair]

I have done pushups. It did not help me.

That https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/cringe-lunch-or-personal-social-experiment.281356/ remains the least of your difficulties, hombre

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yet, if the OP were a chick, none of these would be an impediment to having a social life.

Serious mental illness and extreme, intransigent political beliefs aren't remotely sexy in women either. When's the last time any heterosexual guy fantasized having a three way with Karen Straughan, Alison Tieman, Janice Fiamengo, or any of those other broads who make up the female wing of The MRM?

AOC's not harsh on the eyes, nonetheless how eager are most men to spend even 15 minutes chatting with her one on one?

 

[Manure Spherian]

I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread.

In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me (which I generally like to hide from a woman):

• The fact I don't drive.
• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.
• The fact I have hardly any social life.
• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a reason. Most of the population doesn't hold extreme beliefs).
• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

With everything I hide from a woman, it reaches the point where I'm basically preventing a woman from getting to know the true me.

Hardly any woman would go for a man with everything I mentioned that's working against me, right?

I know this sounds bad, but I think you should not be with a woman until all except your beliefs are resolved.

I have so-called “extreme” political and social beliefs my wife is aware of, and was made aware of on our third date. Deep down women don’t give a sh-t about a man’s beliefs.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I’ve heard from women who have said even if a guy is good looking with money, they still wouldn’t want him if he’s inexperienced because they don’t want to deal with a guy who doesn’t know anything about relationships or sex. Its a big dealbreaker for women and only guys who are older and inexperienced can truly understand how much experience matters to people when you’re someone who has none.

Correct. Historically this wasn’t an issue when people married young and waited for marriage. They got experience together. Now they do not. And considering many women start getting experience at thirteen—yes, thirteen—those who entertain Revenge of the Nerds and Silver Foxes should be afraid.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Now they do not. And considering many women start getting experience at thirteen—yes, thirteen—those who entertain Revenge of the Nerds and Silver Foxes should be afraid.

And we're back to focusing primarily on how f-cked up women are, rather than consciously striving to be awesome versions of our selves. Little girls, on average, have ALWAYS started engaging in sexual activity much earlier than their male counterparts, the minute they learned how good flipping the bean feels at around age 3 or so

We gonna keep fixating on them, or start devoting 90% of our energies on helping ourselves in concrete, tangible ways?

 

[Manure Spherian]

And we're back to focusing primarily on how f-cked up women are, rather than consciously striving to be awesome versions of our selves. Little girls, on average, have ALWAYS started engaging in sexual activity much earlier than their male counterparts, the minute they learned how good flipping the bean feels at around age 3 or so

We gonna keep fixating on them, or start devoting 90% of our energies on helping ourselves in concrete, tangible ways?

I did not say anything about women being f-cked up. I described what occurs. And the males who get first pickings on such females didn’t create the best versions of themselves.I personally have helped myself. I have a masters degree, a profession, competed in bodybuilding, have two kids, a wife, a home, and very close family members and friends. That doesn’t keep me from recognizing trends in sexual trajectories.

 

[GoodMan32]

Something that requires cyanide capsules to complete

Sounds like you're saying you'd kill yourself if you had to become me.

I've long said my critics couldn't make it one day in my position without committing suicide.

 

[corrector]

Sounds like you're saying you'd kill yourself if you had to become me.

I've long said my critics couldn't make it one day in my position without committing suicide.

Exactly. Who is pedistalizing women now? No surprize from the people who think you are entitled for being a human being.

 

[GoodMan32]

@GoodMan32 What’s going on with all this deflection? It seems like there are excuses and lack of ownership in every post.

In the original post, I challenged you to do some push-ups, something positive that could increase your attractiveness. Instead, you’ve chosen to ignore it, defend yourself and write lengthy posts about your past relationships, which don’t seem to bring you any benefit. From my perspective, your posts come across as somewhat self-centered, reflecting narcissistic qualities, as you often steer the conversation toward yourself. You are missing the inner voice that should remind you that you’re not only wasting everyone's time, but you are boring everyone else. This is the real reason why women do not like to spend time with you; this deep-rooted selfishness.

With that in mind, I’ll keep it simple and just ask one question:

With all these posts and topics in this forum, are you genuinely seeking help from the members here, and are you willing to put in the effort to improve yourself? If you are committed to making that effort, the DEERing needs to stop.

Just a yes or no answer is all that’s needed—no further explanation required. If you ignore this, I will take it as no help needed.

Ok, to address the topic of working out (not just push-ups; working out in general), I admit working out could benefit me. In fact, the building I live in has a gym (which I've used before). I've even posted a story on here about a female neighbor giving an IOI in the gym.

As for your question of whether I'm looking for help: Yeah. As long as the help is realistic.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I've long said my critics couldn't make it one day in my position without committing suicide.

Re-Reference Ms. Fiona Cauley https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...social-awkwardness.282871/page-3#post-3130648 Lots of folks in this world have been afflicted with illnesses far more dire and grim than any of the challenges you face, OP... Yet, they make a conscious choice to focus primairly on creating great lives with whatever time they have left, rather than endlessly reciting all the perceived* obstacles in their paths

Paraphrase Glenngarry Glenn Ross, albeit in a different context: Go and do likewise, OP. Because as things currently stand, if you fall down dead today of a massive brain aneurysm, your tombstone will read: "He was a lousy lay for every woman who had the misfortune of going to bed with him, who was unreceptive to and ungrateful for the sage counsel the folks at SS provided him with. Free of charge"


*Many of the things we conceptualize as "obstacles" can be turned into strengths. You clearly have a lot of energy and determination, OP. Use that to start building social connections out in reality, rather than hanging around online, repeating "Life sucks"

 

[Manure Spherian]

Sounds like you're saying you'd kill yourself if you had to become me.

I've long said my critics couldn't make it one day in my position without committing suicide.

Correct. Many men who seek to plunder every p-ssy that comes their way wouldn’t be able to last two weeks sexless without going insane. That’s why the become utterly frantic when a woman leaves.

 

[GoodMan32]

One-ninety, but I can still look down on most people.

"My BMW was in the garage -- don't believe what they say about dependable, I may have to get rid of that POS -- so I took the bus to see if that was better than temporarily getting a lease or rental."


"It's not like I have social phobia, but most people are dreadfully uninteresting that I rather spend time with a good book."


There's no reason to mention your income (why do men divulge all that information without asking what a woman needs to know that for?) and you could also have a trust fund or other supplementary income from all the romance novels you're writing under a pseudonym.


Yes, and you blew that by getting all serious and eager.


Oh, dear Beelzebub, how autistic can you be? You really asked her that? And she still wanted a second date?


Oh really? You talked about your skin problems too, eh? On a first date? You don't have any filters, do you?


You're looking for a Mommy, she figured she could handle it, but your autism was too strong.

You're essentially telling me I should have lied. Telling her my BMW was in the shop would have been a lie. The problem with lying to impress a woman: Eventually she'll find you out.

I never said what my income is. I said what I do for work (a common first date question). Anyone with an IQ above 80 can figure out a guy with my income doesn't make enough to afford the building I live in.

The woman asked me if I rent or own. The honest answer is neither. And one thing about folks on the spectrum: We have a hard time lying (especially on the fly). That's another reason lying is problematic for me.

Trust fund? That's pretty much the same thing as partially relying on parents financially.

The strange guy really was going to ask (and really did ask) if I banged her. It was a fair question. Plus, that question served as a potential icebreaker to get her to offer sex without me coming out and asking her to bang me.

Even though I failed at getting sex, think of what it means that she gave me the green light to tell him we had sex. If she was repulsed by me, the last thing she'd want is for people to think we had sex.

I was getting a routine checkup at the dermatologist; that doesn't mean I have skin problems. In the climate where I live, it's the norm for light-skinned folk to get routine checkups with the dermatologist.