my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[Grandma Penkitten]

The answer is confidence.

 

[GoodMan32]

As a man, you shouldn't do anything to 'get women'. It's the wrong motivation, and non-sustainable.

What women 'admire' in thugs is their confidence and conviction to pursue their goals without caring what other people think. You can do that without pursuing a life of crime. Thugs have their own ethics and boundaries they defend. So can you, but you don't have to become a drug dealer being worried about rip deals to learn how not to be somebody's doormat.

It's been said on this forum that broads don't get wet for a geeky accountant who's done time behind bars for financial crime; they only get wet for a certain type of criminal (drug dealers, strong arm robbers, etc)

If having the confidence and conviction to pursue your goals were really all it took to soak a woman's panties, wouldn't broads get wet for the accountant too (as he had enough confidence and conviction to commit his financial crimes)?

There's obviously another explanation at play (other than the confidence/conviction explanation) to explain why broads get wet for certain types of criminals.

 

[GoodMan32]

These two don't seem that bad in comparison. I know a lot of guys who don't have licenses or partly rely on their parents for money, again it might just be my age cohort. If you're older I guess it would be a problem.



For socializing, have you tried looking up city meetups for different things? Any hobbies? One of my friends has tried Bumble BFF and she actually had good success from it but you have to put yourself out there. No offense but by part of your description, there's a little victim mentality coming through. Someone mentioned it earlier in this thread that no one owes you anything if you don't put in work and they're right. I understand you are stuck but something has to change.

Insanity is doing something over and expecting a different result. Rewire your mind, stop reading so much extremist and depressing content online, focus on self improvement first.

And maybe just refrain from mentioning your political beliefs at first.

Good luck!



People want a lot of things, but realistically speaking they have to realize how they're gonna get it. You could refuse to date a woman who very much wanted you but has (insert any characteristic that's a no-go for you here) and that would be completely fine.

I see you're 20. At your age (especially in 2024), it isn't taboo at all to at least partially rely on parents financially.

I'm 33. Do I personally think there's anything wrong with the fact I partially rely on parents financially? Absolutely not (as I have my reasons of why I partially rely on parents financially). I'm aware, however, society in general judges a man my age for relying on parents at all (even only partially).

There's a reason I say a man my age. It's practically unheard of for a woman my age to rely on parents even partially (as even a Plain Jane woman can find a man willing to take her in if she has a low income). If you think about it, it's pretty rare for a woman above 30 to get any assistance from parents (and even if it's not the norm for a man over 30 to get assistance from parents, it's more common for a man than for a woman)

Hell, even at 24, I remember getting judged for partially relying on parents financially.

I attended 2 meetups for a local kinkster group this summer (per my counselor's recommendation). Even though I'm glad I went (as I could discuss my fetish without getting judged), it turned out the kinkster group was mostly couples looking for other couples to experiment with. Singles are welcome but not embraced.

I don't really have hobbies per se (just like I'm too drained to go out and meet a partner after work, I'm also too drained for hobbies after work). But I like to travel (I just got back from a trip for that matter). I have an adventurous side like that.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It's been said on this forum that broads don't get wet for a geeky accountant who's done time behind bars for financial crime; they only get wet for a certain type of criminal (drug dealers, strong arm robbers, etc)

Start dealing fentanyl and leading Heat-style bank robberies, GM. Your SMV will be through the f-cking stratosphere, by end of this week

 

[BaronOfHair]

I don't really have hobbies per se (just like I'm too drained to go out and meet a partner after work, I'm also too drained for hobbies after work). But I like to travel (I just got back from a trip for that matter). I have an adventurous side like that.

Hobbies: Activities one finds enjoyable. You enjoy traveling, therefore you have a hobby

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If having the confidence and conviction to pursue your goals were really all it took to soak a woman's panties, wouldn't broads get wet for the accountant too (as he had enough confidence and conviction to commit his financial crimes)?

I was thinking about replying to this, but I think if you ask questions this ignorant, no answer will satisfy.

I attended 2 meetups for a local kinkster group this summer (per my counselor's recommendation). Even though I'm glad I went (as I could discuss my fetish without getting judged), it turned out the kinkster group was mostly couples looking for other couples to experiment with. Singles are welcome but not embraced.

Not likely.

Hobbies: Activities one finds enjoyable. You enjoy traveling, therefore you have a hobby

If you travel. When you don't travel...

 

[BaronOfHair]

If you travel. When you don't travel...

He claims he returned from a trip just recently

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

He claims he returned from a trip just recently

Where? The supermarket?

 

[GoodMan32]

I was thinking about replying to this, but I think if you ask questions this ignorant, no answer will satisfy.


Not likely.


If you travel. When you don't travel...

You appear to be doubting my claim that the kinkster group is mostly couples.

It really is mostly couples. Even a lot of those who didn't bring a partner to the brunch at least mentioned having a partner.

The 2 other single men at the brunch told me they hadn't had any luck in that kinkster group.

 

[GoodMan32]

He claims he returned from a trip just recently

Where? The supermarket?

Out of state.

I suppose BaronOfHair is right (if I enjoy traveling, then that's a hobby)

Unfortunately, I'm unable to travel as often as I'd like (only having so much time off from work, financial constraints, etc). For that matter, if it weren't for the fact I partially rely on parents financially, I wouldn't be able to travel at all (Then again, I'd be dead if it weren't for my parents)

And no, my parents didn't pay for my trip. I paid for my trip using the money I save from partially relying on parents.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You appear to be doubting my claim that the kinkster group is mostly couples.

No, doofus, I doubted that you were rejected because you were single/alone.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I suppose BaronOfHair is right (if I enjoy traveling, then that's a hobby)

Unfortunately...

"Yes but..."ing everything is savaging your prospects for success, worse than a Commanche raid on a frontier settlement, filled with nothing but blonde Anglo girls ages 18 and below

You enjoy traveling, so start thinking of ways to do so more often. Bus tickets for weekend visits to places out of town are economical

 

[GoodMan32]

No, doofus, I doubted that you were rejected because you were single/alone.

The fact the 2 other single men at the meetups (who had been attending that group's meetups for a lot longer than me) told me they hadn't had any luck either would suggest my single status was why I had no luck (especially when you take into account a lot of the couples flat out admitted they were looking for other couples to experiment with)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

especially when you take into account a lot of the couples flat out admitted they were looking for other couples to experiment with)

Oh, yes, I forgot. You take people at their word.

 

[SW15]

the kinkster group is mostly couples.

I know nothing about this kinkster group. It's not at all surprising that it is mostly couples.

Swingers clubs are open to all. Swingers clubs are mostly couples. Single men who show up at swingers clubs generally find it to be a waste of time. Single women rarely ever show up at swingers clubs, which is why they are called unicorns.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Oh, yes, I forgot. You take people at their word.

He's hardly alone https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ring-homicide-rate.282454/page-6#post-3125340

 

[saige]

@GoodMan32 This might sound odd to ask as I know you said that being socially awkward might be a problem but do you have a history of social anxiety? I feel like some of your issues stem from having anxiety from not being on the same level as your age peers socially. Have you tried therapy for building up your confidence? I know its expensive but there are some options online for that.

I might "only" have just turned 20 but I feel the exact same as you sometimes, comparing myself to teenagers that I still feel have a couple years ahead of them to plan out their future. I'm trying to get out of the habit, because I know when I'm 25 or 30, I'll look back and think to myself what a waste it was to never try anything new during that time because of my doubts. People of every age have struggled with feeling too old. The sooner you start tackling this problem the better.

Just start small with hobbies, you mentioned traveling, why not start as someone mentioned in this thread like buying cheap tickets to places out of town? That's a start, and you can work your way up from there. Working out is also one of the best habits you can have in your life, so I'd suggest you do that or continue to go to the gym if you already do.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Sounds like you're saying you'd kill yourself if you had to become me.

I've long said my critics couldn't make it one day in my position without committing suicide.

Rejoice in the following fact... What each of us(Yourself included, GM) considers a "lousy day" is tantamount to an all expenses paid month in Tahiti, compared to what little Adam here https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...Adam-Torso-Thames-boy-finally-identified.html undoubtedly deemed the worst day of HIS life

 

[corrector]

I see you're 20. At your age (especially in 2024), it isn't taboo at all to at least partially rely on parents financially.

I'm 33. Do I personally think there's anything wrong with the fact I partially rely on parents financially? Absolutely not (as I have my reasons of why I partially rely on parents financially). I'm aware, however, society in general judges a man my age for relying on parents at all (even only partially).

There's a reason I say a man my age. It's practically unheard of for a woman my age to rely on parents even partially (as even a Plain Jane woman can find a man willing to take her in if she has a low income). If you think about it, it's pretty rare for a woman above 30 to get any assistance from parents (and even if it's not the norm for a man over 30 to get assistance from parents, it's more common for a man than for a woman)

Hell, even at 24, I remember getting judged for partially relying on parents financially.

I attended 2 meetups for a local kinkster group this summer (per my counselor's recommendation). Even though I'm glad I went (as I could discuss my fetish without getting judged), it turned out the kinkster group was mostly couples looking for other couples to experiment with. Singles are welcome but not embraced.

I don't really have hobbies per se (just like I'm too drained to go out and meet a partner after work, I'm also too drained for hobbies after work). But I like to travel (I just got back from a trip for that matter). I have an adventurous side like that.

Having a low paying full time job sucks. You really have just enough energy for coworkers. If your folks did not support you then you could not travel or visit escorts. Most of your salary would go on rent and food. Likewise my folks help out too but they are not wealthy. But saving money on rent/mortgage goes a long way esp if you are travelling and escortcelling.

 

[GoodMan32]

@GoodMan32 This might sound odd to ask as I know you said that being socially awkward might be a problem but do you have a history of social anxiety? I feel like some of your issues stem from having anxiety from not being on the same level as your age peers socially. Have you tried therapy for building up your confidence? I know its expensive but there are some options online for that.

I might "only" have just turned 20 but I feel the exact same as you sometimes, comparing myself to teenagers that I still feel have a couple years ahead of them to plan out their future. I'm trying to get out of the habit, because I know when I'm 25 or 30, I'll look back and think to myself what a waste it was to never try anything new during that time because of my doubts. People of every age have struggled with feeling too old. The sooner you start tackling this problem the better.

Just start small with hobbies, you mentioned traveling, why not start as someone mentioned in this thread like buying cheap tickets to places out of town? That's a start, and you can work your way up from there. Working out is also one of the best habits you can have in your life, so I'd suggest you do that or continue to go to the gym if you already do.

Yeah, I've mentioned on this forum that I suffer from social phobia.

I know what you mean. When I was around your age, I remember feeling like I was behind some of my younger brother's classmates (which was humiliating). He was 3 grades behind me.

Fast forward to today, I'm behind a lot of folks a decade younger than me.

I've done therapy, yeah.

I've used the gym in the building where I live before. I even shared a possible IOI story on the forum about a neighbor at the gym.

I could look into finding cheap tickets to travel some more.