my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[GoodMan32]

Having a low paying full time job sucks. You really have just enough energy for coworkers. If your folks did not support you then you could not travel or visit escorts. Most of your salary would go on rent and food. Likewise my folks help out too but they are not wealthy. But saving money on rent/mortgage goes a long way esp if you are travelling and escortcelling.

I couldn't live period if it werent for my parents. I'd have to live in a slum with roommates. No roommate would tolerate my mental illness.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I couldn't live period if it werent for my parents. I'd have to live in a slum with roommates. No roommate would tolerate my mental illness.

what is your living situation at the moment?

 

[GoodMan32]

what is your living situation at the moment?

I live by myself (in a place I couldn't afford if it weren't for parents)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

what is your living situation at the moment?

Why bother the five pages where he whined about that. Let's spend another ten pages talking about this nincompoop's living conditions...

 

[needimprovement250]

That’s one way to do it. I don’t suggest lying.

How old are you? Are you average or handsome or homely? What kind of social life do you have? What do you do for work (if you don’t mind stating that here)?

Yeah I don't think lying is the best way to go about handling this situation of being older and inexperienced. Actions can speak louder than words, so she'll be able to figure out that you're inexperienced if you make obvious mistakes and can't pick up on non verbal cues or seem unsure of what to do in certain situations that most men would know what you're supposed to do. Also if you're dealing with a woman you would want to keep seeing long term, she'll find out eventually one way or the other and will not like that you lied about this since she could see this as a red flag for dishonesty and untrustworthiness on your part.

I'm 31 and as far as looks go, I can't really say for sure. I had women be very forward with me when I was younger and one even asked me out and initiated sex (that's how I lost my virginity at 21) but when you're this old and inexperienced, you will always question your looks since that's just a natural response to being in this situation. I don't have any social life, I haven't even hung out with a friend since April 2023. Me and a friend who moved away are gonna go to Vegas together next month and that will be my first social outing with a friend since then. As for work, I do a series of temporary seasonal jobs at this event center in my area. I work the full event season and stay employed 9 months out of the year by doing that. Then I do DoorDash for the remaining 3 months when there's no events to work. However this is not sustainable since these seasonal jobs only pay minimum wage with the exception of one of them. I also work 6-7 days a week at times with less than a handful of days off a month, but yet I'm still legally considered low income and qualify for government assistance. When the work season was about to start up earlier this year, I gave myself an ultimatum to either not return for the upcoming season and get a regular 9-5 or work the season and also go back to school for a certification since these seasonal jobs provide the flexibility to do both. I chose the latter, and the current seasonal job I'm doing is a ride operator at a pumpkin patch and I am in school for 2 classes. I've been very busy with juggling both, that's why it has taken me this long to respond to this.

 

[needimprovement250]

My brother served three years for drug dealing, with part of that in a jail rappers boast about being in. He was never womanless. Most drug dealers never are.

Women usually come easily to them because they have the danger and excitement that women like, in addition to women assuming they'll get high for free by being with him

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'd have to live in a slum with roommates

Which might both sharpen your social acuity AND put you in a situation where continuously manufacturing rationalizations for not acting isn't as optional

 

[needimprovement250]

Part of why I got into dealing in doobie in high school was to attract women. Plus it got me invited to every party.

Women was the reason why for me getting into it too. But where we differ is that I truly believed that getting a woman would never happen for me, so I turned to that to try and numb all of the loneliness and depression. Where did that get me? Still have never gotten a woman at 31 and getting more stoned than ever before to numb myself from an even worse and more difficult situation of being this way at an older age.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Women was the reason why for me getting into it too. But where we differ is that I truly believed that getting a woman would never happen for me, so I turned to that to try and numb all of the loneliness and depression. Where did that get me? Still have never gotten a woman at 31 and getting more stoned than ever before to numb myself from an even worse and more difficult situation of being this way at an older age.

That's why you cannot just copy someone's actions and hope for the same results.
Some drug dealers get a female entourage that tags along to every party.
Other drug dealers get a shotgun blast to the face in a rip deal.
It's certainly not the recommended path to take if you just want to get your penis wet.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah I don't think lying is the best way to go about handling this situation of being older and inexperienced. Actions can speak louder than words, so she'll be able to figure out that you're inexperienced if you make obvious mistakes and can't pick up on non verbal cues or seem unsure of what to do in certain situations that most men would know what you're supposed to do. Also if you're dealing with a woman you would want to keep seeing long term, she'll find out eventually one way or the other and will not like that you lied about this since she could see this as a red flag for dishonesty and untrustworthiness on your part.

I'm 31 and as far as looks go, I can't really say for sure. I had women be very forward with me when I was younger and one even asked me out and initiated sex (that's how I lost my virginity at 21) but when you're this old and inexperienced, you will always question your looks since that's just a natural response to being in this situation. I don't have any social life, I haven't even hung out with a friend since April 2023. Me and a friend who moved away are gonna go to Vegas together next month and that will be my first social outing with a friend since then. As for work, I do a series of temporary seasonal jobs at this event center in my area. I work the full event season and stay employed 9 months out of the year by doing that. Then I do DoorDash for the remaining 3 months when there's no events to work. However this is not sustainable since these seasonal jobs only pay minimum wage with the exception of one of them. I also work 6-7 days a week at times with less than a handful of days off a month, but yet I'm still legally considered low income and qualify for government assistance. When the work season was about to start up earlier this year, I gave myself an ultimatum to either not return for the upcoming season and get a regular 9-5 or work the season and also go back to school for a certification since these seasonal jobs provide the flexibility to do both. I chose the latter, and the current seasonal job I'm doing is a ride operator at a pumpkin patch and I am in school for 2 classes. I've been very busy with juggling both, that's why it has taken me this long to respond to this.

I got more attention in my younger days too (compared to now).

You mentioned DoorDash. Have you looked into becoming a full time Uber or Lyft driver? I imagine that'd pay better than the seasonal jobs you're doing.

 

[GoodMan32]

Women usually come easily to them because they have the danger and excitement that women like, in addition to women assuming they'll get high for free by being with him

I never even thought of the free marijuana aspect (for why a broad would get with a drug dealer). You make a fascinating point.

 

[GoodMan32]

Women was the reason why for me getting into it too. But where we differ is that I truly believed that getting a woman would never happen for me, so I turned to that to try and numb all of the loneliness and depression. Where did that get me? Still have never gotten a woman at 31 and getting more stoned than ever before to numb myself from an even worse and more difficult situation of being this way at an older age.

I might have mentioned this before: My method to cope with lack of luck with the ladies is to totally withdraw.

Not saying your method is right or wrong; merely pointing out everyone has different coping methods.

 

[GoodMan32]

That's why you cannot just copy someone's actions and hope for the same results.
Some drug dealers get a female entourage that tags along to every party.
Other drug dealers get a shotgun blast to the face in a rip deal.
It's certainly not the recommended path to take if you just want to get your penis wet.

Yep. As an analogy, when a man on the spectrum acts like an alpha, he comes across as creepy and dangerous (dangerous in a bad way; not in a thrilling way)

Yet another example of why copying another man isn't always the right approach.

 

[SW15]

I got more attention in my younger days too (compared to now)..

That's what happens for most men.

The Manosphere and certain red pill content creators like to promote the idea that a man's peak is between 35-40 years old.

For most 35-40 or 35-44 year olds, it's most like that at all. While there's a small subset of 35-44 year olds who do well, most 35-44 year olds end up chasing women near their own age. It's very difficult for 35-44 year olds to get more attention and get more attention from women 10+ years younger.

The true peak for most men will be 25-30. That's when female attention on him will be maximized. He is getting attention from women in his own age and still young enough to capture some attention from 20-24 year old women.

After 30, most unattached men see their social circles deteriorate. Friends and acquaintances get married and have babies. Some might emerge multiple years later after a divorce. When this happens, unattached men have fewer people that they can go to bars with. When men aren't going to bars regularly, they are getting less attention in real life. Most 30s/40s men solve for the lack of bar visits with friends by using swipe apps to meet women. That doesn't go well for a lot of men in terms of getting attention and also getting meaningful dates.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I got more attention in my younger days too (compared to now)

Which, given the history you've supplied us with, is tantamount to saying "Akron was pretty bitchin' back in '15, but the place has really gone to the dogs since '17 or so"

 

[GoodMan32]

Which, given the history you've supplied us with, is tantamount to saying "Akron was pretty bitchin' back in '15, but the place has really gone to the dogs since '17 or so"

Just like what little possessions the poor have are extremely important to the poor, what little attention I've gotten through the years from the ladies is extremely important to me (I'm poor in terms of attention from the ladies)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Yep. As an analogy, when a man on the spectrum acts like an alpha, he comes across as creepy and dangerous (dangerous in a bad way; not in a thrilling way)

No, that is a bad analogy. Neither @needimprovement250 nor I were 'posing/acting' like drug dealers. We both dealt in drugs, but whereas both of us figured we might also get some nookie out of it, I did and he didn't. So it's not 'dealing drugs' that attracted the girls, but more the congruence of dealing drugs as part of being a bad mother*cker.

You are a creepy autist with weird fetishes. On top of the fact that your imaginary 'Alpha' doesn't exist, you're nowhere close to what you're trying to mimic, so you wouldn't be able to bring congruence into your 'act'.

Yet another example of why copying another man isn't always the right approach.

Nobody here ever encouraged you to 'copy another man'. We know you're unable to act like a non-autist.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Just like what little possessions the poor have are extremely important to the poor, what little attention I've gotten through the years from the ladies is extremely important to me (I'm poor in terms of attention from the ladies)

Yeah, the famished child in rural Bangladesh having their last slice of bread stolen, and some 45 year old back in the day who was not only willing to let 20something you into her bed, BUT also allow you to watch her pee

These two events are more interchangeable than Linguini and Baked Alaska

 

[corrector]

Just like what little possessions the poor have are extremely important to the poor, what little attention I've gotten through the years from the ladies is extremely important to me (I'm poor in terms of attention from the ladies)

It's worst than that, you are poor in general (ie in the same boat as me, relying on your folks for financial support). This is limiting your capacity to escortcell and get attention from them. (ie if you were rich then you would be able to buy allot more attention than you are buying now). I don't escortcell (religious reasons) and am also poor (temporary reasons - since June/July) so that is not an option with me.

In analysis of your situation, you have attention from women through work. Honestly, I have limited attention as well. (ie which is why I'm not relying much on fake video attention from ASMR videos.....which ironically even that makes me feel good. I can get a tonne of fake attention with a mouse-click effort if I wanted to and drown myself on those videos. However, I choose not to because I'm getting enough attention from real-life women to go there. But I think the videos are helping subconciously as the real life women now have competition with the endless options of attention from youtube videos. When I start watching those videos, all of a sudden, I normally get more attention from women, like they are feeling "something is up" with this guy. I think it is because the videos create a false sense of social proof on a mental level and women in real life think you are in demand. It's like faking it until you make it type of thing.)

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah, the famished child in rural Bangladesh having their last slice of bread stolen, and some 45 year old back in the day who was not only willing to let 20something you into her bed, BUT also allow you to watch her pee

These two events are more interchangeable than Linguini and Baked Alaska

Correction: I let her into my bed. She'd drive 40 minutes to bang me (That's impressive a woman was willing to drive 40 minutes for me)

That's only one example. I also had random broads tell me I looked good more often back when I was younger (one woman, who said she was 47, even flashed me in public when I was 26)