my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[BaronOfHair]

Holy hell...I remember replying to this last week and I thought we were done. How does this have 10 pages?

Now that Peaky Blinders has wrapped(At least till the movie is released), and using the cops's murder of a dope fiend as rationalization for rioting has fallen out of fashion, options for entertainment are sparse

 

[BaronOfHair]

This summer, I went to 2 meetups with a local kinkster group my therapist (who I'm no longer going to) recommended

So you threw in the towel on psychotherapy after barely beginning, upon realizing:
"Simply talking about your difficulties wouldn't relieve your suffering... Doing so requires diligent effort on my part"

Same way you more or less gave up on securing an SO, when the first few attempts to do so didn't go EXACTLY as you fantasized they would

I trust your noticing a pattern of behavior here, GM

 

[GoodMan32]

So you threw in the towel on psychotherapy after barely beginning, upon realizing:
"Simply talking about your difficulties wouldn't relieve your suffering... Doing so requires diligent effort on my part"

Same way you more or less gave up on securing an SO, when the first few attempts to do so didn't go EXACTLY as you fantasized they would

I trust your noticing a pattern of behavior here, GM

On the post of mine you just quoted, you conveniently left out the part where I said the kinkster group was mainly couples looking for other couples. There really was no point in me continuing to attend their meetups.

The 2 other single men at the meetup admitted to me they had no luck in that group.

There was a beautiful woman at the kinkster meetup who I was able to talk to about my fetish without having a panic attack. Alas, turned out she had boyfriend.

Circling back to my therapist, he basically told me to accept the risk of rejection from my next door neighbor. That's not helpful.

It also isn't helpful how he told me to advertise on my dating/hookup profiles that I'm on the spectrum and hate feminism.

The main problem I went to my therapist for though? The fact I don't last long. He did everything he could to help me on that one.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Circling back to my therapist, he basically told me to accept the risk of rejection from my next door neighbor. That's not helpful.

Perhaps in the same way a battalion commander regularly reminding those in his charge to clean their rifles on a regular basis "isn't helpful"... Those receiving the message have to be in a mind frame to actually receive it


"It also isn't helpful how he told me to advertise on my dating/hookup profiles that I'm on the spectrum and hate feminism"

You sure this wasn't yet another case of someone being semi-facetious, and you not picking up on it?

"The main problem I went to my therapist for though? The fact I don't last long"

That may be something that requires the attention of a urologist, rather than a shrink, GM. In any event, when you're not stalking the game reservation enough to amass anything approaching a kill count, your worries over such a thing are irrational

 

[GoodMan32]

Perhaps in the same way a battalion commander regularly reminding those in his charge to clean their rifles on a regular basis "isn't helpful"... Those receiving the message have to be in a mind frame to actually receive it

"It also isn't helpful how he told me to advertise on my dating/hookup profiles that I'm on the spectrum and hate feminism"

You sure this wasn't yet another case of someone being semi-facetious, and you not picking up on it?

"The main problem I went to my therapist for though? The fact I don't last long"

That may be something that requires the attention of a urologist, rather than a shrink, GM. In any event, when you're not stalking the game reservation enough to amass anything approaching a kill count, your worries over such a thing are irrational

The battalion analogy is a faulty analogy. Cleaning a rifle won't make a soldier feel like the world's biggest idiot. Asking out my neighbor runs the risk of making me feel like the world's biggest idiot (if I get rejected).

My therapist definitely wasn't being facetious when he told me to advertise (on dating/hookup profiles) the fact I'm on the spectrum. Here's the context: He said some dating/hookup platforms probably have spectrum support groups (and he recommended I join any spectrum support groups they have). I told him I don't want to because then it would show on my profile that I belong to the spectrum support group. He then (attempted to) assure me there's way less stigma against being on the spectrum in 2024 compared to 2013.

I'm pretty sure he wasn't facetious about his suggestion I advertise on my profile that I hate feminism. He acknowledged that'd turn off most broads. But he said it would be a good way to weed out incompatible broads.

Your suggestion I go to a urologist is genuinely helpful. I'm going to seriously look into it.

As for your claim I don't spend enough time hunting cooch to fret over my short longevity? Here's the thing: I'm sexually active. I had lots of experience practicing my therapist's suggestions (to try to help me last longer) this summer; that's how I know his suggestions didn't really work.

In all honesty, the short longevity is one of the many factors that kills my confidence to pursue free broads more often.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Asking out my neighbor runs the risk of making me feel like the world's biggest idiot (if I get rejected).

It'll only pain you as much as your thoughts and beliefs about such things allow, hombre.

Take notes, and practice everything you've learned

 

[needimprovement250]

Yes, going to focus on this one.

Anecdotally I’ve seen plenty of cases where two brothers end up complete opposites in the dating department. Looks aside, one can end up a bad boy slayer, and the other can end up a gentle nice-guy-cel.

They both responded differently to the dysfunction at home and developed different temperaments. One “rebelled” against it, and the other withdrew and became passive.

This was my home. My brother turned to criminality. I was a good boy. Guess who was never without a woman?

When I came of age, I got into bad things and started to rebel. I started drinking and smoking weed, a little bit of vandalism, and was even selling weed on a very small scale to people I deemed trustworthy. But I think this made the fact that I wouldn’t interact with women even weirder to my peers because guys who do things like that usually don’t struggle that much with women.

 

[Manure Spherian]

But I think this made the fact that I wouldn’t interact with women even weirder to my peers because guys who do things like that usually don’t struggle that much with women.

My brother served three years for drug dealing, with part of that in a jail rappers boast about being in. He was never womanless. Most drug dealers never are.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This was my home. My brother turned to criminality. I was a good boy. Guess who was never without a woman?

Brings us back around to https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...900-messages-from-chicks.282416/#post-3122619 For all of their shortcomings, thugs have a strong brand. That's more than most guys have

 

[Manure Spherian]

For all of their shortcomings, thugs have a strong brand.

I believe thugmaxxing trumps all else, which is one reason I’m not into contributing to GDP/RP self improvement/“hard work” as a means to get women.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I believe thugmaxxing trumps all else, which is one reason I’m not into contributing to GDP/RP self improvement/“hard work” as a means to get women.

You're similar to the sort of kids who refuse to wiggle their loose baby teeth, to accelerate the inevitable dislodging.
The permanent ones will eventually push them out, so why do what you can to aid the process?

 

[Manure Spherian]

You're similar to the sort of kids who refuse to wiggle their loose baby teeth, to accelerate the inevitable dislodging.
The permanent ones will eventually push them out, so why do what you can to aid the process?

I’m all for supporting oneself, education, physical training, or even getting rich. However, those who rely on “improvement” are getting or will get second or succeeding dibs on what others got by just existing.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I’m all for supporting oneself, education, physical training, or even getting rich. However, those who rely on “improvement” are getting or will get second or succeeding dibs on what others got by just existing.

Most men will never amass a kill count on par with Warren Beatty or Robert Evans at the height of their respective careers, this is true. Problem we have in America today: Entirely too many men use this as a rationale to not be the best version of themselves

Back to my prior point: Whatever else one wants to say about Laquan on the corner, Javier who rocks the tear drop tattoo, or Wade Wilson who isn't Deadpool, these fellas all have a brand that APPEARS exciting and powerful. As Jeffery Pfeffer observes in his terrific book Power, we live in an era where most folks find the notion that each of us is a product and a brand offensive to their sensibilities

As such, most of folks are unattractive, and incorrectly believe there's nothing we can do about it

 

[Manure Spherian]

As a man, you shouldn't do anything to 'get women'. It's the wrong motivation, and non-sustainable.

What women 'admire' in thugs is their confidence and conviction to pursue their goals without caring what other people think. You can do that without pursuing a life of crime. Thugs have their own ethics and boundaries they defend. So can you, but you don't have to become a drug dealer being worried about rip deals to learn how not to be somebody's doormat.

I agree with all this. Men should do what they want and act how they want (obviously with some reasonable limitations) irrespective of women.

I live the life of a square, but have had and do have a woman, because I have some desirable qualities.

I certainly would not recommend criminality to anyone, but I believe criminals have more access to women than grinding Red Pillers.

 

[saige]

• The fact I don't drive.
• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.

These two don't seem that bad in comparison. I know a lot of guys who don't have licenses or partly rely on their parents for money, again it might just be my age cohort. If you're older I guess it would be a problem.

• The fact I have hardly any social life.
• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a reason. Most of the population doesn't hold extreme beliefs).
• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

For socializing, have you tried looking up city meetups for different things? Any hobbies? One of my friends has tried Bumble BFF and she actually had good success from it but you have to put yourself out there. No offense but by part of your description, there's a little victim mentality coming through. Someone mentioned it earlier in this thread that no one owes you anything if you don't put in work and they're right. I understand you are stuck but something has to change.

Insanity is doing something over and expecting a different result. Rewire your mind, stop reading so much extremist and depressing content online, focus on self improvement first.

And maybe just refrain from mentioning your political beliefs at first.

Good luck!

For 15 years now, I've been accused of feeling owed (not just when it comes to a woman; in other contexts too). Pisses me off.

There's a huge difference between feeling owed something vs simply wanting something.

People want a lot of things, but realistically speaking they have to realize how they're gonna get it. You could refuse to date a woman who very much wanted you but has (insert any characteristic that's a no-go for you here) and that would be completely fine.

 

[Grandma Penkitten]

The answer is confidence.

 

[GoodMan32]

As a man, you shouldn't do anything to 'get women'. It's the wrong motivation, and non-sustainable.

What women 'admire' in thugs is their confidence and conviction to pursue their goals without caring what other people think. You can do that without pursuing a life of crime. Thugs have their own ethics and boundaries they defend. So can you, but you don't have to become a drug dealer being worried about rip deals to learn how not to be somebody's doormat.

It's been said on this forum that broads don't get wet for a geeky accountant who's done time behind bars for financial crime; they only get wet for a certain type of criminal (drug dealers, strong arm robbers, etc)

If having the confidence and conviction to pursue your goals were really all it took to soak a woman's panties, wouldn't broads get wet for the accountant too (as he had enough confidence and conviction to commit his financial crimes)?

There's obviously another explanation at play (other than the confidence/conviction explanation) to explain why broads get wet for certain types of criminals.

 

[GoodMan32]

These two don't seem that bad in comparison. I know a lot of guys who don't have licenses or partly rely on their parents for money, again it might just be my age cohort. If you're older I guess it would be a problem.



For socializing, have you tried looking up city meetups for different things? Any hobbies? One of my friends has tried Bumble BFF and she actually had good success from it but you have to put yourself out there. No offense but by part of your description, there's a little victim mentality coming through. Someone mentioned it earlier in this thread that no one owes you anything if you don't put in work and they're right. I understand you are stuck but something has to change.

Insanity is doing something over and expecting a different result. Rewire your mind, stop reading so much extremist and depressing content online, focus on self improvement first.

And maybe just refrain from mentioning your political beliefs at first.

Good luck!



People want a lot of things, but realistically speaking they have to realize how they're gonna get it. You could refuse to date a woman who very much wanted you but has (insert any characteristic that's a no-go for you here) and that would be completely fine.

I see you're 20. At your age (especially in 2024), it isn't taboo at all to at least partially rely on parents financially.

I'm 33. Do I personally think there's anything wrong with the fact I partially rely on parents financially? Absolutely not (as I have my reasons of why I partially rely on parents financially). I'm aware, however, society in general judges a man my age for relying on parents at all (even only partially).

There's a reason I say a man my age. It's practically unheard of for a woman my age to rely on parents even partially (as even a Plain Jane woman can find a man willing to take her in if she has a low income). If you think about it, it's pretty rare for a woman above 30 to get any assistance from parents (and even if it's not the norm for a man over 30 to get assistance from parents, it's more common for a man than for a woman)

Hell, even at 24, I remember getting judged for partially relying on parents financially.

I attended 2 meetups for a local kinkster group this summer (per my counselor's recommendation). Even though I'm glad I went (as I could discuss my fetish without getting judged), it turned out the kinkster group was mostly couples looking for other couples to experiment with. Singles are welcome but not embraced.

I don't really have hobbies per se (just like I'm too drained to go out and meet a partner after work, I'm also too drained for hobbies after work). But I like to travel (I just got back from a trip for that matter). I have an adventurous side like that.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It's been said on this forum that broads don't get wet for a geeky accountant who's done time behind bars for financial crime; they only get wet for a certain type of criminal (drug dealers, strong arm robbers, etc)

Start dealing fentanyl and leading Heat-style bank robberies, GM. Your SMV will be through the f-cking stratosphere, by end of this week

 

[BaronOfHair]

I don't really have hobbies per se (just like I'm too drained to go out and meet a partner after work, I'm also too drained for hobbies after work). But I like to travel (I just got back from a trip for that matter). I have an adventurous side like that.

Hobbies: Activities one finds enjoyable. You enjoy traveling, therefore you have a hobby