my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[GoodMan32]

I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread.

In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me (which I generally like to hide from a woman):

• The fact I don't drive.
• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.
• The fact I have hardly any social life.
• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a reason. Most of the population doesn't hold extreme beliefs).
• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

With everything I hide from a woman, it reaches the point where I'm basically preventing a woman from getting to know the true me.

Hardly any woman would go for a man with everything I mentioned that's working against me, right?

 

[BPH]

• The fact I don't drive.

Go get a license...if 16-year-olds can do it, I'm sure you can too.

• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.

I'm in a similar boat. I live with them but they don't subsidize my life; I still have a job and pay for my things. If you're unable to do that, get a job.

• The fact I have hardly any social life.

Then go outside, dude. I have several friends at my local gym just because I go so regularly. I see the same people every time and get to know them just by proximity and asking to work in on exercises. This has the added benefit of making you more attractive by being in better shape.

• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a r

Have you tried NOT doing that? Seriously, how hard is it to not make your political beliefs your identity? I consider myself conservative. But that doesn't mean I won't date or sleep with women who have more liberal ideologies. If THEY have a problem with MY political leanings, that's their issue, not mine.

• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

Then maybe you shouldn't date, dude. Nobody is entitled to somebody else's attraction. If you have problems that are bad enough that they get in the way of relationships you should probably work on them.

Hardly any woman would go for a man with everything I mentioned that's working against me, right?

You're fishing for validation that somebody with as many shortcomings as you mention is still worthy of dating. Reframe your question as if you were selling somebody a car:

"This car barely runs, breaks down often, doesn't get many miles to the gallon, is butt ugly, and you'll spend more time fixing it than you will be driving it. Will you be paying by cash or card?"

Do you see how stupid that sounds?

Women are not going to be flocking to you, based on how you describe yourself. What matters now is deciding whether you're ok with that fact, or whether you're going to make some changes.

 

[needimprovement250]

I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread.

In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me (which I generally like to hide from a woman):

• The fact I don't drive.
• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.
• The fact I have hardly any social life.
• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a reason. Most of the population doesn't hold extreme beliefs).
• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

With everything I hide from a woman, it reaches the point where I'm basically preventing a woman from getting to know the true me.

Hardly any woman would go for a man with everything I mentioned that's working against me, right?

I can relate, that’s why I wanted to reply. I don’t have ASD, but I do have low confidence and never learned how to properly interact with women during the formative years. This is my list:

I still live at home with my parents

My political beliefs aren’t extreme, but the party I vote for is a super minority in my state

The fact that I have no experience with women at 31, which is off putting and a big turn off to most of them

The fact that I have no career or income stability.

 

[Kladed]

@BPH pretty much summed it up, but to add on a little.

Just take baby steps.

Start with saying Hi to old people you pass as a nice gesture. Compliment a couple people in passing. Walk up to a struggling dude at the gym and help him out. Walk up to the buff guy at the gym and ask him to give you some tips. In the end work your way up to cold approaches etc.

I had similar issues to you, and I am still working on some. All it took is building myself up one step at a time. You won't fix your problems immediately, but you need to stop being in your head and take action.

 

[GoodMan32]

I can relate, that’s why I wanted to reply. I don’t have ASD, but I do have low confidence and never learned how to properly interact with women during the formative years. This is my list:

I still live at home with my parents

My political beliefs aren’t extreme, but the party I vote for is a super minority in my state

The fact that I have no experience with women at 31, which is off putting and a big turn off to most of them

The fact that I have no career or income stability.

I know a guy who's a virgin (he's in his early to mid 30s).

He makes decent money, has a reliable vehicle, and owns a house. So he has some factors going for him. Evidently though his income/vehicle/home ownership hasn't gotten him anywhere with the ladies. I guess what I'm saying is even if you have stuff going for you, there's still no guarantee you'll succeed sexually.

 

[SW15]

I guess what I'm saying is even if you have stuff going for you, there's still no guarantee you'll succeed sexually.

We have a great example of that on this forum. @sangheilios is 6'4" and fit/muscular. That sounds like a top tier man (aka 'Chad'). Despite being 6'4" and fit/muscular, he has had seduction challenges.