my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[corrector]

You can want as much as you please nobody cares about your wants aside from maybe your parents and maybe other very close family members

That is not the point. He should not be shamed into feeling that he is entitlted or owed something because he wants something. That becomes toxic shame that feminists use against incels which comes across almost like an attack. Whether some cares about his wants or not is irrelevant as long as they don't start gaslighting him too, on top of that, because that is just adding insult to injury at that point.

 

[Bingo-Player]

That is not the point. He should not be shamed into feeling that he is entitlted or owed something because he wants something. That becomes toxic shame that feminists use against incels which comes across almost like an attack. Whether some cares about his wants or not is irrelevant as long as they don't start gaslighting him too, on top of that, because that is just adding insult to injury at that point.

I want a penthouse in central city with a private steam room , sauna and jacuzzi

I live In a one bedroom house with a bathtub and wonky tiling...... that's my reality and my current budget

Can I go get what I want yea sure it won't be easy but anything is possible .... moaning about how tough the economy is or how I don't come from money to help me along, isn't going to do anything though

 

[The Duke]

I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread.

In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me (which I generally like to hide from a woman):

• The fact I don't drive.
• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.
• The fact I have hardly any social life.
• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a reason. Most of the population doesn't hold extreme beliefs).
• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

With everything I hide from a woman, it reaches the point where I'm basically preventing a woman from getting to know the true me.

Hardly any woman would go for a man with everything I mentioned that's working against me, right?

Yes. So what are you doing to improve your situation? Are you here to learn or complain?

 

[corrector]

I want a penthouse in central city with a private steam room , sauna and jacuzzi

Now you are being facetious.

I live In a one bedroom house with a bathtub and wonky tiling...... that's my reality and my current budget

Can I go get what I want yea sure it won't be easy but anything is possible .... moaning about how tough the economy is or how I don't come from money to help me along, isn't going to do anything though

I disagree. A better comparison, a homeless person wanting a one bedroom house to have some shelter. But of course, society doesn't owe him anything, maybe he had some bad breaks along the way and like a dominoe effect one wrong outcome lead to another until he found himself there. Nobody is complaining about having a mediocre girlfriend or getting laid too few times in a year compared to being a major playbody like you are trying to potray (ie which would be more suitable to your analogy). The OP and I have issues where are set-up is just anti-seductive with women and there is nothing much to do about it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

But let's just say "my side" tends to be a sausage fest.

So you're one of THEM

 

[BaronOfHair]

That thread you linked isn't quite the same.

On my latest thread, I elaborate on just how much I have going against me

Yeah, that thread of yours I linked went on for 23 f-cking pages, and is still going. This one is only at two so far

 

[BaronOfHair]

His political beliefs are mainstream.

And while he does have some degree of mental illness (it runs in the family), his mental illness isn't debilitating like mine is

Newsflash, GM: Almost ALL humans are both susceptible to psych disturbance of some sort , AND get suckered into fringe beliefs from time to time... Hell, there's likely a connection between these two phenomena. Paraphrase John Steinbeck in East Of Eden: The beauty of being human is that, unlike animals, we have the power to CHOOSE how we respond to our external environments, rather than being driven solely by instinctive urges

Your political beliefs are fringe and inhibit your capacity to co-exist with our highly diverse, multi-cultural society? Well, you have the option of modifying these beliefs into less insane ones, or adopting entirely new beliefs. Dealing with mental illness? Well, YT is filled with many first rate audiobooks on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy... You have the option of spending more of your waking life listening to them and practicing the techniques and strategies they provide, rather than endlessly listing all the things you perceive* as "being against you"


*That which we conceptualize as "disadvantages" can often be turned to our advantage. Take, for example, Ms. Fiona Cauley here

Average life expectancy with her illness is 37, and she's 27 as of this writing. Yep... Barring a revolutionary breakthrough in the treatment of Friedrich's ataxia(Unlikely, as this is an extremely rare disorder) her life is halfway over, at a time when most folks in The Post-Industrial World's are-ostensibly anyway-just beginning. She's chosing to devote a substantial portion of her waking hours bringing joy and levity to the rest of the world though

 

[BaronOfHair]

Are you here to learn or complain?

Back in July https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ng-moves-in-person.282277/page-9#post-3120459

I pointed out to OP that showing up on a forum dedicated to self-development, asking for aid, then "Yes, but..."ing every last ounce of counsel he receives is, quite frankly, disrespectful to those of us he shares cyberspace with. The message STILL hasn't taken

 

[BaronOfHair]

The OP and I have issues where are set-up is just anti-seductive with women and there is nothing much to do about it.

You both operate under a BELIEF system which dictates "There's nothing I can do to make my set-up more pro-seductive", same way The Basic White Girl in modern day America operates under a belief system which dictates "I MUST blindly embrace Intersectionality, the way an Evangelical Christian or a Salafi embraces their respective dogmas, in order to show the rest of humanity how righteous I art!!!"

Refusing to interrogate those beliefs for truthfulness is a choice

 

[corrector]

You both operate under a BELIEF system which dictates "There's nothing I can do to make my set-up more pro-seductive", same way The Basic White Girl in modern day America operates under a belief system which dictates "I MUST blindly embrace Intersectionality, the way an Evangelical Christian or a Salafi embraces their respective dogmas, in order to show the rest of humanity how righteous I art!!!"

Refusing to interrogate those beliefs for truthfulness is a choice

It is not a belief system. You can only put your best foot forward and hope for the best. However, if you are at a wall, then you are at a wall.

If you are in a low-paying full-time job and a caretaker for your folks then there is no time or money to deal with any women period apart from your own thought-life.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You can only put your best foot forward and hope for the best

And if your current "best foot" could benefit from polishing and fine tuning, you have the option of doing so. Corporations and political candidates have spin doctors on call 24/7, for this very purpose. "Dating gurus" fulfill this exact same function for men

No, they DON'T guarantee you success(Stodgy old money like Bush I wasn't going to triumph over a relatively young and vibrant Bill Clinton. No dating coach on the planet can do much for a guy who mistakes a clown like this

for a hero, persists in looking and acting like him), nonetheless they definitely strengthen your chances for success

 

[GoodMan32]

You can want as much as you please nobody cares about your wants aside from maybe your parents and maybe other very close family members

The worlds a battlefield especially for a man its dog EAT dog

Women sleep with guys who make sh1t happen , guys who go and get what they want , guys who make moves

Not guys who sit around In their parents spare bedroom complaining about how unfair everything is

Stop wallowing , go and do the work.

Here's what doesn't make sense though: A coworker's son has a lot of my negative traits and then some. Yet he has no trouble getting a woman during the stretches when he's a free man (he's a career felon).

In addition to being a career felon:

• He has no license.
• He relies on parents 100% financially (even though he's slightly older than me) when he's a free man (as he has a spotty track record when it comes to working)
• He holds extreme political beliefs
• He suffers from mental illness.

If my negative traits are a turn off, how come he's able to soak a woman's panties?

 

[GoodMan32]

That is not the point. He should not be shamed into feeling that he is entitlted or owed something because he wants something. That becomes toxic shame that feminists use against incels which comes across almost like an attack. Whether some cares about his wants or not is irrelevant as long as they don't start gaslighting him too, on top of that, because that is just adding insult to injury at that point.

Well-said.

The double standard pisses me off too. A Plain Jane wanting a Chad who has big muscles and makes 6 figures is totally socially acceptable, yet a guy like me (who would be glad if I could merely get an average-looking older fattie for free casual sex) gets accused of feeling entitled.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yes. So what are you doing to improve your situation? Are you here to learn or complain?

I'm mainly wondering if maybe there's some loophole I don't know about where I could get a woman in spite of all my baggage.

 

[GoodMan32]

Now you are being facetious.



I disagree. A better comparison, a homeless person wanting a one bedroom house to have some shelter. But of course, society doesn't owe him anything, maybe he had some bad breaks along the way and like a dominoe effect one wrong outcome lead to another until he found himself there. Nobody is complaining about having a mediocre girlfriend or getting laid too few times in a year compared to being a major playbody like you are trying to potray (ie which would be more suitable to your analogy). The OP and I have issues where are set-up is just anti-seductive with women and there is nothing much to do about it.

Yep. I certainly don't strive to be the guy with a different college girl in his bed every night. I admit that would be an unrealistic expectation.

 

[BaronOfHair]

If my negative traits are a turn off, how come he's able to soak a woman's panties?

Go ask him what he does to be successful, and be receptive to his replies, even if you don't always agree 100% with everything he says. No, I'm not kidding

 

[TheGambino]

I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread.

In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me (which I generally like to hide from a woman):

• The fact I don't drive.
• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.
• The fact I have hardly any social life.
• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a reason. Most of the population doesn't hold extreme beliefs).
• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

With everything I hide from a woman, it reaches the point where I'm basically preventing a woman from getting to know the true me.

Hardly any woman would go for a man with everything I mentioned that's working against me, right?

@GoodMan32

Read my new thread and do whatever you can to become that man.

 

[corrector]

Well-said.

The double standard pisses me off too. A Plain Jane wanting a Chad who has big muscles and makes 6 figures is totally socially acceptable, yet a guy like me (who would be glad if I could merely get an average-looking older fattie for free casual sex) gets accused of feeling entitled.

Exactly. What's worst is when you get the chadsplainers chiming in, and coming on board, in places like this, and bringing that up here. Well, sure, it's easy for you to say that since you have no issues getting laid, lol! You are chosen by enough women so you don't have to be worried about feeling shamed into "entitled" because you want some when you have nothing or precious little.

I mean I get the whole "build and they will come" and self-improve thing, but you can also say that even then, you are still not entitled to any attraction ever, at least on a theoretical level of that double standard. You do have a thing called Gymcels/manlets, etc.... that get the short end of the stick even after massive self-improvement efforts. If spoken like that, then even self-improvement would not make any sense as advice since nobody can guarantee attraction from the opposite sex, no matter what you do or how you improve yourself, at least in theory, it can not be absolutely guaranteed. In fact, they say you are supposed to do these things because you want to, not because you want a woman. It almost sounds like they are speaking at two sides of their mouth.

 

[GoodMan32]

Go ask him what he does to be successful, and be receptive to his replies, even if you don't always agree 100% with everything he says. No, I'm not kidding

Based on what his mom has shared with me, he doesn't have to do anything at all.

Simply being a piece of excrement career felon makes broads horny for him (because of the thrill factor). His mom told me the last time he got released, he got Facebook messages of broads asking him for sex.

 

[corrector]

Based on what his mom has shared with me, he doesn't have to do anything at all.

Simply being a piece of excrement career felon makes broads horny for him (because of the thrill factor). His mom told me the last time he got released, he got Facebook messages of broads asking him for sex.

I guess the better term for "negative traits" would be "anti-seduction" traits as using broad brushed terms can muddle the definition of everything. The issues we have are having "anti-seduction" traits and circumstances rather than negative based on social norms (ie which as you mentioned could be a "seduction" trait).