my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[GoodMan32]

Now you are being facetious.



I disagree. A better comparison, a homeless person wanting a one bedroom house to have some shelter. But of course, society doesn't owe him anything, maybe he had some bad breaks along the way and like a dominoe effect one wrong outcome lead to another until he found himself there. Nobody is complaining about having a mediocre girlfriend or getting laid too few times in a year compared to being a major playbody like you are trying to potray (ie which would be more suitable to your analogy). The OP and I have issues where are set-up is just anti-seductive with women and there is nothing much to do about it.

Yep. I certainly don't strive to be the guy with a different college girl in his bed every night. I admit that would be an unrealistic expectation.

 

[BaronOfHair]

If my negative traits are a turn off, how come he's able to soak a woman's panties?

Go ask him what he does to be successful, and be receptive to his replies, even if you don't always agree 100% with everything he says. No, I'm not kidding

 

[TheGambino]

I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread.

In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me (which I generally like to hide from a woman):

• The fact I don't drive.
• The fact I partially rely on parents financially.
• The fact I have hardly any social life.
• The fact I hold extreme political beliefs (Since we aren't supposed to talk politics on this forum, I won't get into my exact beliefs. The point is: Extreme political beliefs in either direction can hurt your chances with the ladies. Extreme beliefs are called extreme for a reason. Most of the population doesn't hold extreme beliefs).
• The fact I have mental illnesses galore.

With everything I hide from a woman, it reaches the point where I'm basically preventing a woman from getting to know the true me.

Hardly any woman would go for a man with everything I mentioned that's working against me, right?

@GoodMan32

Read my new thread and do whatever you can to become that man.

 

[corrector]

Well-said.

The double standard pisses me off too. A Plain Jane wanting a Chad who has big muscles and makes 6 figures is totally socially acceptable, yet a guy like me (who would be glad if I could merely get an average-looking older fattie for free casual sex) gets accused of feeling entitled.

Exactly. What's worst is when you get the chadsplainers chiming in, and coming on board, in places like this, and bringing that up here. Well, sure, it's easy for you to say that since you have no issues getting laid, lol! You are chosen by enough women so you don't have to be worried about feeling shamed into "entitled" because you want some when you have nothing or precious little.

I mean I get the whole "build and they will come" and self-improve thing, but you can also say that even then, you are still not entitled to any attraction ever, at least on a theoretical level of that double standard. You do have a thing called Gymcels/manlets, etc.... that get the short end of the stick even after massive self-improvement efforts. If spoken like that, then even self-improvement would not make any sense as advice since nobody can guarantee attraction from the opposite sex, no matter what you do or how you improve yourself, at least in theory, it can not be absolutely guaranteed. In fact, they say you are supposed to do these things because you want to, not because you want a woman. It almost sounds like they are speaking at two sides of their mouth.

 

[GoodMan32]

Go ask him what he does to be successful, and be receptive to his replies, even if you don't always agree 100% with everything he says. No, I'm not kidding

Based on what his mom has shared with me, he doesn't have to do anything at all.

Simply being a piece of excrement career felon makes broads horny for him (because of the thrill factor). His mom told me the last time he got released, he got Facebook messages of broads asking him for sex.

 

[corrector]

Based on what his mom has shared with me, he doesn't have to do anything at all.

Simply being a piece of excrement career felon makes broads horny for him (because of the thrill factor). His mom told me the last time he got released, he got Facebook messages of broads asking him for sex.

I guess the better term for "negative traits" would be "anti-seduction" traits as using broad brushed terms can muddle the definition of everything. The issues we have are having "anti-seduction" traits and circumstances rather than negative based on social norms (ie which as you mentioned could be a "seduction" trait).

 

[BaronOfHair]

Based on what his mom has shared with me, he doesn't have to do anything at all

Ask HIM what he does to be successful on this front, NOT his mother... And, for God's sake, abandon all fantasies of bedding her

 

[The Duke]

I'm mainly wondering if maybe there's some loophole I don't know about where I could get a woman in spite of all my baggage.

loopholes, like shortcuts. No, you lazzy azz. Start improving your situation or find some other forum to post on. This one isn't for you.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The double standard pisses me off too

Our society is filled with a wide array of double standards, GM, most of which ain't going away anytime within this century. We all have a choice as to the way in which we respond to them:
You can spend a large portion of your day enraged over all things that aren't going the way you think they SHOULD(what Cognitive Behavioral shrinks and their antecedents describe as Shoulding/Musturbation), or be momentarily and periodically annoyed and displeased, then ask yourself:
"Alright... Things being the way they are, what do I do to achieve my goal, DESPITE life being less than perfect? What are some small steps I can take to start becoming more attractive, even if it's just combing my hair, washing my butt, purring on fresh clothes, then going out into the sunlight and fresh air, and being around my fellow humans socially, rather than for work related reasons?"


"A Plain Jane wanting a Chad who has big muscles and makes 6 figures is totally socially acceptable..."

No, it's not... Look at the guy the chick who used to play the daughter on Gilmore Girls ended up with, vs those Kate Upton has been romantically linked to. All of us, regardless of gender, have to exert effort and sometimes wind our way through discomfort, in order to get what we want in life


"...yet a guy like me (who would be glad if I could merely get an average-looking older fattie for free casual sex) gets accused of feeling entitled"

Start heeding the counsel everyone on this site has very generously provided you, free of charge, and the reception you receive just mat be a trifle more empathetic

 

[GoodMan32]

Ask HIM what he does to be successful on this front, NOT his mother... And, for God's sake, abandon all fantasies of bedding her

Maybe if he wasn't behind bars right now, I could ask him.

Excellent guess on your part that I'd like to bed his mom

 

[BaronOfHair]

Maybe if he wasn't behind bars right now, I could ask him

Jails and prisons still have visiting hours. Go see and speak to him. No, I'm not kidding

Excellent guess on your part that I'd like to bed his mom

Exactly what I was afraid of

 

[GoodMan32]

The woman I had my last date with knew about a lot of my baggage.

On our first date, it came out that I don't own a car, I partially rely on parents financially, and I have hardly any social life.

And even though I didn't get into just how severe my mental illness is, I at least touched upon the topic of my mental illness.

Much to my surprise, the woman wanted a 2nd date with me even after finding out about my baggage. I really thought I had potential with her.

Then we ended up hating each other before the 2nd date had a chance to happen.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Then we ended up hating each other before the 2nd date had a chance to happen.

And this is how we get to 20-page threads. Good job laying down the suspense, buddy. Now tell us the riveting story how you ended up hating each other. Spare not detail.

 

[GoodMan32]

And this is how we get to 20-page threads. Good job laying down the suspense, buddy. Now tell us the riveting story how you ended up hating each other. Spare not detail.

I've given a synopsis before.

The gist of how we ended up hating each other: In retrospect, she probably grew tired of the fact I wasn't taking the lead about picking a location for our 2nd date.

And the bucket officially overflowed when I failed to get a joke she made.

Interesting how she's ok with me being a mentally ill hermit who partially relies on parents financially and doesn't own a car, yet failing to take the lead (and failing to get a joke) is where she draws the line.

 

[Clockwerk50]

loopholes, like shortcuts. No, you lazzy azz. Start improving your situation or find some other forum to post on. This one isn't for you.

@GoodMan32 completely ignored my comment about doing push-ups. It seems like he’s just here to vent about his life instead of taking action.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Interesting how she's ok with me being a mentally ill hermit who partially relies on parents financially and doesn't own a car, yet failing to take the lead (and failing to get a joke) is where she draws the line.

Because she's conflicted about being submissive and having to mother you. She's looking for a lover, not another person to take care of.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The woman I had my last date with knew about a lot of my baggage

Which clearly proved to be a panty peeler, on par with walking into a job interview at Goldman Sachs, then regaling the interviewer with tales of the weekend you just spent smoking crystal meth and tossing puppies into a lit furnace

I really hope that you're just f-cking with us, GM, and that what you've been doing here at SS is some sort of prank

 

[BaronOfHair]

On our first date, it came out that I don't own a car, I partially rely on parents financially, and I have hardly any social life.

And even though I didn't get into just how severe my mental illness is, I at least touched upon the topic of my mental illness

In spite of myself, I'm curious: How in Xenu's name did ANY of that s-it get worked into FIRST DATE conversation, GM? I'm really struggling to even envision the context in which such a thing could possibly occur...

"You enjoying the wine, honey? Before you get too drunk to remember, let me fill you in... I have no car, and am banned from riding the city bus, after I refused to stop sharing my fantasies of doing the mom from Growing Pains with everyone in earshot. And I also live in my parents basement, so if we bone, it'll have to be either at your place or on a park bench in the middle of the night"

-"Waiter, could you bring the check? While he's ringing us up, I should tell you... I was diagnosed with autism awhile back, but increasingly, it seems I might actually be afflicted with something that ain't even in The DSM. So, same time and place next week? Perhaps you'd like to hear a blow by blow account of that time I ended up with a prolapsed rectum in 9th grade gym glass"

 

[corrector]

In spite of myself, I'm curious: How in Xenu's name did ANY of that s-it get worked into FIRST DATE conversation, GM? I'm really struggling to even envision the context in which such a thing could possibly occur...

"You enjoying the wine, honey? Before you get too drunk to remember, let me fill you in... I have no car, and am banned from riding the city bus, after I refused to stop sharing my fantasies of doing the mom from Growing Pains with everyone in earshot. And I also live in my parents basement, so if we bone, it'll have to be either at your place or on a park bench in the middle of the night"

-"Waiter, could you bring the check? While he's ringing us up, I should tell you... I was diagnosed with autism awhile back, but increasingly, it seems I might actually be afflicted with something that ain't even in The DSM. So, same time and place next week? Perhaps you'd like to hear a blow by blow account of that time I ended up with a prolapsed rectum in 9th grade gym glass"

It is fished out by the woman by his social and behaviour cues (ie something is not all together with this guy. I cant put my finger on it but better check my other options). The car is obvious as well as logistics. None of what you wrote needs to be spelled out.

 

[corrector]

I really hope that you're just f-cking with us, GM, and that what you've been doing here at SS is some sort of prank

We are serious. What would you do in a similar situation?