my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

[BaronOfHair]

What would you do in a similar situation?

Something that requires cyanide capsules to complete

 

[BaronOfHair]

It is fished out by the woman by his social and behaviour cues (ie something is not all together with this guy. I cant put my finger on it but better check my other options). The car is obvious as well as logistics. None of what you wrote needs to be spelled out.

Let's let GM(who that question was directed at)answer for himself

 

[GoodMan32]

@GoodMan32 completely ignored my comment about doing push-ups. It seems like he’s just here to vent about his life instead of taking action.

More like I work full time (and don't have time to address every single point)

 

[SW15]

Simply being a piece of excrement career felon makes broads horny for him (because of the thrill factor). His mom told me the last time he got released, he got Facebook messages of broads asking him for sex.

That can help a guy get laid so long as he's got a solid height.

 

[GoodMan32]

In spite of myself, I'm curious: How in Xenu's name did ANY of that s-it get worked into FIRST DATE conversation, GM? I'm really struggling to even envision the context in which such a thing could possibly occur...

"You enjoying the wine, honey? Before you get too drunk to remember, let me fill you in... I have no car, and am banned from riding the city bus, after I refused to stop sharing my fantasies of doing the mom from Growing Pains with everyone in earshot. And I also live in my parents basement, so if we bone, it'll have to be either at your place or on a park bench in the middle of the night"

-"Waiter, could you bring the check? While he's ringing us up, I should tell you... I was diagnosed with autism awhile back, but increasingly, it seems I might actually be afflicted with something that ain't even in The DSM. So, same time and place next week? Perhaps you'd like to hear a blow by blow account of that time I ended up with a prolapsed rectum in 9th grade gym glass"

Ok, to answer your question of how this stuff got worked into 1st date discussion, I'm going to need to back up to how I met her.

I've mentioned on this forum that her dog came right up to me (and then the woman took a liking to me too). Which is true. But there's more to the story.

This super strange/annoying guy I rode the bus with on a regular basis roped me into hanging out with him. When he spotted this woman from a distance, he asked me to serve as his wingman. I agreed. We then approached her. His plan for me to act as a wingman backfired on him (as explained, the woman ended up preferring me).

During our date, the question of how I knew the strange guy inevitably came up. The answer (that I rode the bus with him) gave away that I don't own a car.

While talking about him, I mentioned that I really don't want to get roped into hanging out with him again (and that I generally don't like to do social stuff at all...because of my social phobia), that's how it came up that I'm mentally ill and have hardly any social life. She has hardly any social life either.

She's local to my neighborhood. When I mentioned which building I live in (and what I do for work), it became obvious there's a mismatch between my income vs my housing (so that's how it came up that I get assistance from parents).

I left out the fact I'm on the spectrum by the way. I draw a hard line at informing a woman I'm interested in of my ASD.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

That can help a guy get laid so long as he's got a solid height.

Most people think I'm a henchman for Dr.Evil, but being taller than the average Dutchman has helped them disregard my villainy.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I left out the fact I'm on the spectrum by the way. I draw a hard line at informing a woman I'm interested in of my ASD.

Why stop there? You were certainly forthright with all the other negative aspects of your life.

But thanks for the blow-by-blow, now I understand why she bailed on you.

 

[corrector]

Something that requires cyanide capsules to complete

Perhaps the most honest treatment of the subject.

 

[MatureDJ]

Here's what doesn't make sense though: A coworker's son has a lot of my negative traits and then some. Yet he has no trouble getting a woman during the stretches when he's a free man (he's a career felon).

In addition to being a career felon:

• He has no license.
• He relies on parents 100% financially (even though he's slightly older than me) when he's a free man (as he has a spotty track record when it comes to working)
• He holds extreme political beliefs
• He suffers from mental illness.

If my negative traits are a turn off, how come he's able to soak a woman's panties?

Because we live in a clown world.

Clown World

Clown World or clown society is a term used to satirize elements of modern society. It is a term generally used by the alt-right movement, later adopted by the incel...

incels.wiki

 

[MatureDJ]

Something that requires cyanide capsules to complete

 

[MatureDJ]

Most people think I'm a henchman for Dr.Evil, but being taller than the average Dutchman has helped them disregard my villainy.

My goodness, you must be 2 meters! No wonder, your love life has been on easy mode.

 

[GoodMan32]

That can help a guy get laid so long as he's got a solid height.

Here's the real kicker: He's 5'6" and skinny. And no, he isn't Hispanic (Only mentioning this part because it's been said on the forum that Hispanic men can get away with being short)

 

[GoodMan32]

Why stop there? You were certainly forthright with all the other negative aspects of your life.

But thanks for the blow-by-blow, now I understand why she bailed on you.

Being on the spectrum gets you judged way more than the other negative stuff I mentioned.

There was no way I could have answered her question of how I knew the other guy without revealing the fact I don't have a car.

I suppose I could have stopped short of mentioning my social phobia (but if she got involved with me, my social phobia would have come out sooner or later anyway)

When name-dropping the building I live in, I knew I ran the risk of having her figure out there's got to be more to the story (of how a guy with my income lives here). All in all though, one good thing came from name-dropping my building: She said she's always wanted to use my building's pool.

I have the power to grant her access to the pool. Had I kept her interested just a tad longer, I would have gotten to see her in a bikini.

Furthermore, in spite of all the baggage I mentioned on our 1st date:

• She sat outside on a bench chatting with me for 2 and a half hours after the date
• When I asked her "What do you want me to tell him when the annoying/strange guy inevitably asks if we had sex?," she said feel free to tell him we had sex
• She offered me a ride to the dermatologist
• 2 days after our date, she asked me about a 2nd date. On day 3, she asked me about a 2nd date again.

Disclaimer: I know the vast majority of the female population would run after that 1st date. The fact she didn't immediately run after hearing about my baggage was what made me think we had potential.

 

[Clockwerk50]

More like I work full time (and don't have time to address every single point)

@GoodMan32 What’s going on with all this deflection? It seems like there are excuses and lack of ownership in every post.

In the original post, I challenged you to do some push-ups, something positive that could increase your attractiveness. Instead, you’ve chosen to ignore it, defend yourself and write lengthy posts about your past relationships, which don’t seem to bring you any benefit. From my perspective, your posts come across as somewhat self-centered, reflecting narcissistic qualities, as you often steer the conversation toward yourself. You are missing the inner voice that should remind you that you’re not only wasting everyone's time, but you are boring everyone else. This is the real reason why women do not like to spend time with you; this deep-rooted selfishness.

With that in mind, I’ll keep it simple and just ask one question:

With all these posts and topics in this forum, are you genuinely seeking help from the members here, and are you willing to put in the effort to improve yourself? If you are committed to making that effort, the DEERing needs to stop.

Just a yes or no answer is all that’s needed—no further explanation required. If you ignore this, I will take it as no help needed.

 

[corrector]

@GoodMan32 What’s going on with all this deflection? It seems like there are excuses and lack of ownership in every post.

In the original post, I challenged you to do some push-ups, something positive that could increase your attractiveness. Instead, you’ve chosen to ignore it, defend yourself and write lengthy posts about your past relationships, which don’t seem to bring you any benefit. From my perspective, your posts come across as somewhat self-centered, reflecting narcissistic qualities, as you often steer the conversation toward yourself. You are missing the inner voice that should remind you that you’re not only wasting everyone's time, but you are boring everyone else. This is the real reason why women do not like to spend time with you; this deep-rooted selfishness.

With that in mind, I’ll keep it simple and just ask one question:

With all these posts and topics in this forum, are you genuinely seeking help from the members here, and are you willing to put in the effort to improve yourself? If you are committed to making that effort, the DEERing needs to stop.

Just a yes or no answer is all that’s needed—no further explanation required. If you ignore this, I will take it as no help needed.

I have done pushups. It did not help me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

We're already at 5 pages. This has to be a record of some sort, albeit one which requires mourning, rather than celebration

 

[BaronOfHair]

Its a big dealbreaker for women and only guys who are older and inexperienced can truly understand how much experience matters to people when you’re someone who has none.

We're all relearning, unlearning, and evolving. You fellas who's stock and trade is lamenting your perceived deficits really aren't that special

 

[BaronOfHair]

You are literally playing the game on Death March difficulty level lol

1:00-1:09

 

[BaronOfHair]

I have done pushups. It did not help me.

That https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/cringe-lunch-or-personal-social-experiment.281356/ remains the least of your difficulties, hombre

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

My goodness, you must be 2 meters! No wonder, your love life has been on easy mode.

One-ninety, but I can still look down on most people.

There was no way I could have answered her question of how I knew the other guy without revealing the fact I don't have a car.

"My BMW was in the garage -- don't believe what they say about dependable, I may have to get rid of that POS -- so I took the bus to see if that was better than temporarily getting a lease or rental."

I suppose I could have stopped short of mentioning my social phobia (but if she got involved with me, my social phobia would have come out sooner or later anyway)

"It's not like I have social phobia, but most people are dreadfully uninteresting that I rather spend time with a good book."

When name-dropping the building I live in, I knew I ran the risk of having her figure out there's got to be more to the story (of how a guy with my income lives here). All in all though, one good thing came from name-dropping my building: She said she's always wanted to use my building's pool.

There's no reason to mention your income (why do men divulge all that information without asking what a woman needs to know that for?) and you could also have a trust fund or other supplementary income from all the romance novels you're writing under a pseudonym.

I have the power to grant her access to the pool. Had I kept her interested just a tad longer, I would have gotten to see her in a bikini.

Yes, and you blew that by getting all serious and eager.

• When I asked her "What do you want me to tell him when the annoying/strange guy inevitably asks if we had sex?," she said feel free to tell him we had sex

Oh, dear Beelzebub, how autistic can you be? You really asked her that? And she still wanted a second date?

• She offered me a ride to the dermatologist

Oh really? You talked about your skin problems too, eh? On a first date? You don't have any filters, do you?

The fact she didn't immediately run after hearing about my baggage was what made me think we had potential.

You're looking for a Mommy, she figured she could handle it, but your autism was too strong.