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Don’t know if you’ve heard of the term “compassion fatigue” but it refers to those in the helping fields who essentially get burned out with having to “care” all the time. It comes from an unbalanced focus on “caring” and its associated encumbrances, whether forced or sincere. I think an...

DD, nobody can tell you sh*t that you don’t already know. So I’ll just remind you to play to your strength, use your curiosity to probe her for her answers and opinions. She will know if you genuinely care to explore her answers further. Personally, this is my strongest play. Simple...

You’ll never know unless you make a move. And do it fast.

Although I never mention this place I take great joy in playfully arguing some our basic tenants with some women. One of my favorite topics is the SoulMate myth. It seems to be that loose thread, that if pulled, the entire fabric of their world comes apart. A surprisingly large number of...

I’m assuming you have read the DJ Bible, but there is so much there many don’t get through it. Here’s that link http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/ KillaPeteHog put together and excellent ebook that is much easier to digest and the link is here...

Quote: “Hey STR8UP! Still kinda thinking things over a bit. I'll let you know when I come to any absolute decisions (provided you still have the place lol)... It was good and funny to meet you yesterday-this city is so, so small. I really really like the one bedroom but I want at least...

Since I am a 2 time divorced man I do have some experience. But, every situation is different. I’ll try to touch on some universals. 1) Set up a separate bank account as quickly as you can. No one divorces without huge problems long before the divorce process begins. So, the sooner the...

We can all tell you no, don’t do it, but just go by your own sig and you’ll find out all by yourself.

You’ve gotten some excellent suggestions. Now, try out different things and see what works best. Everyone is different. You’ve mentioned alcohol. It is the best seducer ever invented. Beware. As Joekerr31 noted, many in Zen do not sit to meditate. For me, raking leaves, doing the dishes...

My thoughts exactly. I was going to take exception with the last sentence but I’d like to expand on that to explain my views. Rather than “good” or “bad” I see patterns that conform to some basic rules of the universe. With regard to how it impacts ME I will judge whether any...

I’ll agree that as we age a certain percentage of women in their 20’s will drop away from us, see us as too old no matter what we do. But, I continue to be amazed, as others are here my age, that there are plenty that have absolutely no problems with dating us. Most problems I have encountered...

I plead guilty as charged. My point is not that you think too much; it is that the further down the rabbit hole you go the more you enter her world. Like Al in womanland: You don’t belong there and by the act of being there your perceptions are altered. You lose your objectivity and you...

What disturbed me about this piece is the assumption that he was a deviant who harms women. He was labeled a “sex addict” and summarily lumped in with alcoholics, druggies, and psychotics. This, quite literally, is mind control. It is reminiscent of George Orwell’s 1984 in which the state...

We care about that on which we focus. This is a universal. IMHO stating you are analyzing for the sake of learning or edifying others is a form of rationalization. I’m just not buying that you can expend huge amounts of your precious time thinking and writing about a girl and state...

A million and two reasons. I just don't have the mental energy to try and do it. It feels like diving into a rabbit hole and you never get the rabbit. I'm serious when I say I stop myself the moment I sense I start to analyze them. I can't tell you the times recently I have just ignored...

Meant to wake you up. Too much thinking! Cut it out. Too much focus on someone who deserves it not.

Oneitis

I think you are guilty of inductive reasoning: Of globalizing and generalizing from your current unpleasant experience with this chick to other chicks, even life itself. I think the colloquial term for this is: MIND FVCK. When what precious free time you have is spent (wasted) on this...

The huge preponderance of AFC’s is no more readily demonstrated than reading the comments, bulletins, and blogs of guys like your sad friend here. You will see a few that are getting it but not many. I have actually helped one friend by re-writing some of his comments but because he...

I have four kids and am a pretty happy dude. Two are now grown and live on their own. We are very close and have a great relationship. If you think I’m posting to push the angle that everyone should have kids you would be way off. We are men, we are free to choose our lives, and we are...