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    As A Working Mom, It's Hard To Find Time To Masturbate

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39133 I love the Onion it's superb humour :D
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    Holy Sh1t Ephedrine

    Ephedrine is very similar to speed in its composition, lol :D No wonder you feel like that, drop the dose a little hehe.
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    Rejecting ugly girls

    Lol, i had the woman who lives opposite me came over and started chatting and she asked if i wanted to go out sometime. I just said "really sorry, but i really am too busy to be seeing anyone right now" Just tell them the truth in a way that isn't too harsh, and they will get the message.
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    How to get rid of an impression of me being a clown?

    Mix in some serious conversations when the topic goes that way. Watch the news, read, get some opinions. If you clown around all the time, you will be seen that way, if you show there is more under the surface then the world is your oyster.
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    "you would make a good husband..."

    Yep, it means "once i've slept with 200 different guys and taken it in every hole imaginable, i could settle for you".
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    How do I tell if a woman is being friendly or flirting.

    Escalate and see what happens, basically.
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    Signs of desperation?

    You lower your standards or values to fit in to her world view. You are immediately available all of the time. You care too much about what she thinks. You ring her too much, give too many gifts.
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    what im i missing? im ****y @ funny

    Are you the man that is funny, or the clown? Theres a distinct difference between the two.
  9. S

    Life Changing Events

    Did you go back to the guy who gave you 430 dollars? Nice work btw :)
  10. S

    when life won't cut you a break

    Good to hear, hope it works out :)
  11. S

    What's the deal with guys lovin' huge ass?

    Perfect photshopped 10 :whistle:
  12. S

    Help me evict this b*tch.

    I'd pack her crap up in boxes and change the locks. Then when she comes give her her crap and close the door.
  13. S

    when life won't cut you a break

    When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. I always approach situations with the mindset "what am i supposed to learn from this" it helps me to try to be objective about what is going on, and to see where i am going wrong, and what lessons there are for me to learn...
  14. S

    Looking to get in shape at home, with limited equipment

    http://www.davedraper.com/dumbbell-home-training.html Dumbell only training guide here, not tried it though.
  15. S

    What are your favorite guitar solos?

    Randy Rhoads - Mr Crowley Anything by Al DiMeola Van Halen - Spanish Fly Anything by Ritchie Blackmore
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    Is is okay to say "do you stil love me" ?

    It's ok to say "do you still love me" only if followed by "sticking it in your pooper".
  17. S

    Where have all the men gone?

    Some of those comments on that article are class :D
  18. S

    What If Your Girl Wanted To Be...

    Also, be aware that it will probably turn her into a materialistic bi0tch, my friends wife went down that path and went from a relatively chilled relaxed woman, into a money hungry crazy h0.
  19. S

    Work out shoulders

    http://www.exrx.net/Lists/ExList/ShouldWt.html Try some of those, that website is really good for finding how to work a particular muscle group.
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