How to Spot a Unicorn

[jhonny9546]

Women who have no self respect and have not self love as evidenced by terrifically high partner counts are low quality women that cannot bond.

Great men are the exception to be sure. They are the mavericks, the ambitious, the successful, often the self employed, the unabashedly "No give a sh!t" men out there doing life on their own terms. They are the ones who can take or leave women because there are always lots of women to choose from as women are indeed drawn to men like this.

True, because you see it in everyday life.

However, most of these men, in addition to being workaholics and focused on their careers, are almost always sociopaths, manipulators, and emotionally immature.
And guess who they attract? Women who don’t love themselves.
Why? Mostly because they remeber their father. Also, for other reasons.

Just as these men mock others to advance their careers, adopting an IDGAF attitude and manipulators patterns, they will do the same with their partners and children. So what that family look like?..
This is what some women are drawn to: a man's ability to mock them while making them feel loved in a way that ultimately isn’t genuine, because that kind of women, in the very first instance, can't love herself.

Now, You can say I could be wrong. For sure, but I can confirm this because I have two real examples of men who possess the qualities you described, but do not dwell in the sociopathic and manipulators category. Their relationships lasted for ten years, after having kids and marriage, before ending in divorce because "the love was gone.".
To add, one person I know, it's a close friend. He's business got eradicated by covid, but he went to a solo travel for one month, to relief his problems, and then came back, and through his own efforts, he created a social media presence, studied what he always loved to do, and became a local personal trainer, running his own gym. He now trains over 50 people and makes good money, is popular locally and on social media, so he has all the cards in his pocket to land a quality woman. Plus, his lifestyle is damn healthy.

He has all the quirks you mentioned, but: You know what? He's a good guy. A real golden boy. No sociopathy, no meanness, no manipulation. He always has a smile on his face and tells me he has a hard time with women. Finding the right ones who can receive the love he gives. He dated many, and still hard to find one like you've mentioned. He told me that He sees the same patterns I was describing. Those women keep their relationships with arrogant men who can scold them. Is this the thruth? We don't know, but this is what we see.
(by good guy I don't mean spineless, or a doormat or a nice guy)


So, if you are a woman attracted to a man like that, that's fine. However, if you cannot recognize that he may be a manipulative sociopath who mocks others—and therefore will likely do the same to you—then what is the next thing to do?

I always thought that a good person will attract a good person.
So a bad person, even if it's superficially showing you those desired quirks, will attract a bad person still.
(sorry for my bad english)

Make troopers out of your women. Run the fvcken ship in the manner you want to run it. She either freely submits as a passenger, or she's out.

The difference is how you give her the order to do things.
This connects with what I've said above.
Women will submit to you if you can make them uncomfortable, mocked, scolded. (She doesn't love herself.)
Others will submit if you can make them to understand, calmly, without arrogance what you've said. (She know how to love herself.)

It's really like lottery, and the approach you adopt, will actually filter out women for you

 

[Bokanovsky]

Why? Mostly because they remeber their father. Also, for other reasons.

The father factor is key. One the one hand, you've got spoiled daddy's girls who see men as servants and have an entitled, self-centred attitude. Those blessed with decent looks will likely find beta male simps to take care of them. And those who are average and below-average looking are in for a lifetime of bitter disappointment as their expectations of being catered to will not translate into reality. Most feminists and man-haters come from the latter group.

On the other hand, you have girls with daddy issue who will try to please distant and cold men as they are desperate for attention their fathers never gave them. When a woman like that meets a "good guy" who genuinely likes her and treats her well her software gets scrambled and she end up sabotaging the relationship.

Women who have healthy relationships with their fathers (i.e. women who received just the right amount of attention, without becoming too spoiled or developing daddy issues) are rare because family dynamics are so messed up these days. They are the true unicorns.

 

[SW15]

The father factor is key.

Women who have healthy relationships with their fathers (i.e. women who received just the right amount of attention, without becoming too spoiled or developing daddy issues) are rare because family dynamics are so messed up these days. They are the true unicorns.

This is something that is true. It's difficult to find a younger woman these days who had a healthier relationship with her father.

1. Her parents must still be married (or she won't have good values about marriage)

I must debunk this one. It doesn't matter. Her parents may still be married and yet be miserable (not a good example for her) Or her parents may be divorced and gone on to better situations. If her parents are divorced you look at who her models are for a good relationship. A unicorn will have models. Grandparents, aunt/uncle, a close friend's parents. There will be a good example she sees somewhere.

I generally prefer women for LTRs whose parents are still together. I try to see the healthier father relationship that I mentioned above.

I realize some parents stay together and are miserable. Many men become more beta as time goes on in a marriage and often becomes pushovers towards their wives. That isn't healthy to see. There are also other unhealthy behaviors from longer term couples as well.

2. Single parents need not apply

Truth is it depends. For younger men, I tend to agree. Find a woman who might have your children, although there may be a great gal who lost her husband or had some legit reason she is a single mom who could still be a high quality gal.

For older men, many women will already have their own kids if it's the second time around for both of you (just as many men will already be fathers). In this landscape you want a woman who has similar values as far as parenting goes. Also, a high quality woman is not going to introduce you to her children unless there is a well established stable relationship and she will respect you for doing the same.

I agree for younger men.

I think older, childless men are a bad fit for single moms. There are thirsty older, childless men playing beta simp for single moms.

I don't know if older, childless women are as thirsty for single dads.

 

[SW15]

.Qualities a unicorn should have:
1. Emotional stability
2. Financial stability
3. Willingness to be vulnerable and bond with her man; warmth
4. Desire to sexually please and excite her man
5. Respects & defers to her man
6. Good values (compatible with yours whatever that means)
7. Feminine & supportive
8. Is a good friend and trusted confidant for her man (loyal, trustworthy, frank - the traits you would find in your closest male buddy)
9. Physically/sexually attractive
10. Seeks physical/sexual attention ONLY from her man (but she is also not an ice queen to other males in appropriate social environs)

Additional qualities if they are important to you:
1. Intelligent
2. Socially aware
3. Educated
4. Would be a good mother for your children (or IS a good mother to hers already)

The qualities are good qualities but difficult to find. This is probably why this is a thread about unicorns.

 

[GoodMan32]

I can somewhat relate to this thread (although I wouldn't go as far as to say I nexted solely because sex didn't happen soon enough)

In college, I nexted a girl in one of my classes after I dated her for a week. She went beyond merely being prude about sex. She said she'd never let me so much as touch her backside. That's "next" material (the fact she was incredibly strange, even by my standards, also made her "next" material)

More recently, summer of 2023, I had one date with a woman (and had a tentative 2nd date lined up). I nexted her before the 2nd date happened. I didn't "next" her because sex hadn't happened yet; I nexted her because I could sense sex would never happen. You could call the nexting a mutual nexting; I could tell the woman was getting tired of me (she started giving me attitude a mere 4 days after our 1st date)

Then here's another story from college (this time, the story is a story of a woman putting out too easily). Being 21 and horny, I agreed to a 3 day weekend at my place with woman I met on datehookup (a website; not sure if it still exists). I couldn't even make it to the end of day 1 before nexting her (after we had sex 3 times). I learned a lesson: Don't over-commit to a woman you haven't even met in person yet.

The woman I nexted before the end of day 1 had mentioned she had a track record of getting nexted after 1 date. I know why. She was a 4/10 on the looks scale, probably weighed 250 pounds, and wasn't enjoyable to be around for an extended period. Men simply viewed her as easy cooch.

 

[Barrister]

True, because you see it in everyday life.

However, most of these men, in addition to being workaholics and focused on their careers, are almost always sociopaths, manipulators, and emotionally immature.
And guess who they attract? Women who don’t love themselves.
Why? Mostly because they remeber their father. Also, for other reasons.

Just as these men mock others to advance their careers, adopting an IDGAF attitude and manipulators patterns, they will do the same with their partners and children. So what that family look like?..
This is what some women are drawn to: a man's ability to mock them while making them feel loved in a way that ultimately isn’t genuine, because that kind of women, in the very first instance, can't love herself.

I agreed with most of your post except this part. BeExcellent's post you quoted was talking about top tier men and you seem to paint this picture that all top-tier men are "sociopaths, manipulators, and emotionally immature." This is a blanket statement and, not even remotely accurate on a mass scale of top tier men. They do tend to be confident, maybe even vain, and are leaders. You may term that "manipulation" if you wish but the truth is men and women WANT to be led. These men are the ones with the balls to do it. That isn't exactly manipulation.

Second, not sure where you get the "sociopaths" and "emotionally immature" parts. Most men I have known who comprise the top 1% of men are anything but. Yes, they can and usually are aggressive in what they want, cutthroat even, but they are not mentally unhinged nor do they lack EQ. Quite the opposite, they tend to understand how people tick. They would have to in order to be in the position they are in.

Otherwise, your post was spot on.

 

[SW15]

top tier men. They do tend to be confident, maybe even vain, and are leaders.

For men, being confident is good. It will help with attraction and seduction.

Being a leader in a relationship is also good. It's a sign of a good masculine frame. Too many men don't lead effectively now. Over time, in longer relationships, men's frames weaken and their leadership diminishes.

If a man has good frame and is leading, it means he is being persuasive enough to demonstrate value that he's capable of leading.

A unicorn female values a man's leadership and has confidence that he's capable of leading her. That's not all she offers but that's a very good attribute.

 

[plumber]

another angle on this is: look at the man, if he is leading and being a man... good chance he has a unicorn behind him.

what came first the unicorn or the man. (chicken or egg problem)

a unicorn just is, can and often do create leaders.

the unicorn leads, from behind, and no one knows including her champion.

 

[Von]

When i come here and Read this thread... A life Time has happenned.
Glad to Sée poster have it throught.

Guys just lead and accept that you are in the Girl web... Know yourself enough to keep selfrespect and Power

 

[jhonny9546]

Most feminists and man-haters come from the latter group.

"My dad will buy me a new pc" "My dad will buy me the car" "My dad will buy me the house".
Those women live in another world, and when the reality hit's their face, they will get two options: "suicide" or live a "depressed" life.

In italy we have a quote for this which is " Il nonno crea, Il padre mantiene, I figli si mangiano tutto "

This says that someone build, someone keep it running, but sons, eventually, will take all that wealth and "eat" it. In modern capitalism this represent reality.

When a woman like that meets a "good guy" who genuinely likes her and treats her well her software gets scrambled and she end up sabotaging the relationship.

And if you're the guy, you ask yourself "did I made anything wrong?". And then you find the redpill. But, I must admit, I also saw those kinda of women change, and lookup for their mistakes, and get, or trying to get, a good life with a good man. They actually struggle but they're aware.

Women who have healthy relationships with their fathers (i.e. women who received just the right amount of attention, without becoming too spoiled or developing daddy issues) are rare because family dynamics are so messed up these days. They are the true unicorns.

My other sister is one of this, but I can see how social media ruined her, seeking for validation. She's changing as well. Look like "Social Media" is the new "Distant Father" in our era.

I realize some parents stay together and are miserable.

This equals to someone having a bad parent.
When they stay togheter, it doesn't mean it's a green flag.
The relationship and their behaviour will tell.

You may term that "manipulation" if you wish but the truth is men and women WANT to be led. These men are the ones with the balls to do it. That isn't exactly manipulation.

If you've understood it correctly, would you define the subtle difference between manipulation and lead, so that you can recognize and distinguish good vs bad man?
I may had personal experiences with those "bad" ones, but not many "good" ones, like my other friend.

A unicorn female values a man's leadership and has confidence that he's capable of leading her. That's not all she offers but that's a very good attribute.

This is the point: women aren't good to recognize the difference between "confident leadership" and "arrogant leadership". They would take everything that man scream with arrogance out loud, for "leadership".

the unicorn leads, from behind, and no one knows including her champion.

Underrated!


But are you with me that many woman will actually see that "arrogance" for "leadership"?
I can see this hurt women in their inside, but that will pass with time.
It may be a damaged woman, but you can see this everytime.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I generally prefer women for LTRs whose parents are still together. I try to see the healthier father relationship that I mentioned above.

I realize some parents stay together and are miserable. Many men become more beta as time goes on in a marriage and often becomes pushovers towards their wives. That isn't healthy to see. There are also other unhealthy behaviors from longer term couples as well.

I'm divorced and a father and I take care of my children. My daughter has a father with integrity and devotion. And she takes after me.

Parents staying together doesn't mean they will do a good job at the parenting. Parents separated doesn't mean bad parenting.

Having integrity is how a parent inspires responsibility and accountability in a child.

A married couple that has no integrity, is hostile and disrespectful to each other, who commit adultery while claiming to stay together 'for the kids' are both doing the children a disservice.

 

[Barrister]

I'm divorced and a father and I take care of my children. My daughter has a father with integrity and devotion. And she takes after me.

Parents staying together doesn't mean they will do a good job at the parenting. Parents separated doesn't mean bad parenting.

Having integrity is how a parent inspires responsibility and accountability in a child.

A married couple that has not integrity, is hostile and disrespectful to each other, who commits adultery while claiming to stay together 'for the kids' is doing the children a disservice.

I think generally women that have parents together tend to be a bit more well-grounded. But I agree with you. Two parents that stay together but despise one another is a far worse situation for a child to grow up in than two parents who are separated but can get along (relatively speaking) apart. And I think most all of the research into child psychology supports this.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think generally women that have parents together tend to be a bit more well-grounded. But I agree with you. Two parents that stay together but despise one another is a far worse situation for a child to grow up in than two parents who are separated but can get along (relatively speaking) apart. And I think most all of the research into child psychology supports this.

Quite a few women with daddy issues have fathers without integrity. They come to me for what they couldn't find. Safe haven.

 

[Chow Mein]

another angle on this is: look at the man, if he is leading and being a man... good chance he has a unicorn behind him.

what came first the unicorn or the man. (chicken or egg problem)

a unicorn just is, can and often do create leaders.

the unicorn leads, from behind, and no one knows including her champion.

It’s that unicorn that pushes the man forward. They know they are special and will hold out until a man checks most, if not all their boxes. We call it entitled, but I’m sure men would do the same when you consider a LTR.

On the topic of having a father figure, I agree it’s important because the father keeps the daughter grounded. She has most of his genes, after all.

I have a friend who gets by with her looks, dudes always giving her free sh!t and memberships. She knows how to use what she has, but also spends the energy to get to know that person. People want to have someone that listens and tries to understand them, especially attention of a hot chick. Of all the women I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, she can absolutely push her man to become the best they can be.

 

[SW15]

I think generally women that have parents together tend to be a bit more well-grounded..

This is what I observe.

wo parents that stay together but despise one another is a far worse situation for a child to grow up in than two parents who are separated but can get along (relatively speaking) apart.

Both are bad. I also think there are fewer amicable co-parenting situations than many would think. All of the co-parenting situations I've been have been somewhere between uneasy to hostile.

I think most all of the research into child psychology supports this.

I would like to see more research about this. A lot of psychology is slanted because psychology research boards are dominated by careerist/feminist women with PhDs. There is a reason to be somewhat skeptical about some psychology research. Rollo & Myron discussed this more in relation to psychological research on the mating environment more so than child psychology.

 

[BeExcellent]

Couple of thoughts. A lot has transpired since this thread was first written years ago.

@Von is happily married (nice to see you old friend), my son is happily married (both men married their unicorns.....), I have remarried too.

Top tier men are not the sociopaths @jhonny9546 believes them to be. My father, God rest his soul (he was alive when I originally wrote this) was a top tier man. He was very handsome, 6'3", outdoorsman, was an excellent lawyer who argued and won before the US Supreme Court. He had character. He was a leader. He had lifelong friends. He was tough; direct; unapologetic. He had expectations and standards, and he was also loving and kind. He was stoic. He taught the same Sunday school class for 35 years until his death. His Sunday school students insisted on serving at his funeral. My son at 15 was a pallbearer at his burial alongside classmates from gradeschool (men in their 80s) who drove hours to pay their respects. A county prosecutor who my father had argued against and also with, age 86, accompanied by his wife of 66 years, drove 9 hours ONE way to pay respects. After the funeral service they drove home 9 hours.

My ex husband loved & revered my father (his own father died tragically when he was 12)....my husband hears all the stories about my dad from family and wishes he could have met him.

My dad was a great man.

And he raised my sisters and I to be the kind of woman described at the outset of this thread.

My son leads. He remembers his grandfather, has the deepest respect for him & strives to embody his character, and mine, and his dad's.

So much begins with a man being a good father, guiding, holding accountable, leading, developing character. I agree with @AmsterdamAssassin that integrity and devotion are paramount in raising solid children into solid adults. My father was tough, had high standards, high integrity, and was a devoted father. He was not perfect, and could own his flaws and mistakes with humility.

Although we have been divorced now over 10 years, my ex husband and I have always co-parented amicably and with integrity and mutual respect. His mother was a unicorn in every way herself. After she was widowed she never remarried; never had sexual relations with another man (my ex husband's father was the love of her life; she gave him her virginity on their wedding night, which she was always funny and reverent about)....and I married my first husband because of the character I saw in that family....

Character is of the utmost importance. Beauty is wonderful too of course, but finding a beautiful woman with character is finding a unicorn. They DO exist, but they are what every man seeks, so these are the most desirable women for marriage; for motherhood. A woman who will join you, inspire you, love you & build a legacy with you.

And men have a deep & primal desire for a partnership/marriage with that kind of meaning and substance. And that is why this thread remains relevant.

Cheers.

 

[SW15]

And men have a deep & primal desire for a partnership/marriage with that kind of meaning and substance. And that is why this thread remains relevant.

It's difficult to find a thread topic that will remain relevant for a long time.

Most men do have some desire to pair bond at some point in their lives. Blue pilled, average frustrated chump type males are the ones who seek pair bonded relationships earlier in life.

Successful seducer males with high notch count do often end up seeking some sort of monogamous pair bonded relationship later in life. That point often comes for those males around ages 35-40.

Although we have been divorced now over 10 years, my ex husband and I have always co-parented amicably and with integrity and mutual respect.

That's an achievement. The co-parenting relationships I've seen from divorced males in my peer groups have been the opposite of what you describe. They are not amicable. They are contentious and unpleasant.

I believe that amicable co-parenting relationships are less common than unpleasant and contentious co-parenting relationships.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I believe that amicable co-parenting relationships are less common than unpleasant and contentious co-parenting relationships.

The more unpleasant divorces often create the more unpleasant co-parenting. On the other hand, when people are mature enough to not take everything personal and separate amicably, the more amicable the co-parenting will be.

 

[DJ Novice]

Unicorns are mythical creatures. They don’t exist and neither do unicorn men or women. As humans we are all flawed to various degrees and if you seek perfection in a partner you will be eternally single.

Spinning plates or the DJ lifestyle is fine if you are young and have no desire for children or a family.

I challenge any guy (except the outliers who have a very high degree of looks, money and/or status) to enjoy and have a successful player lifestyle in their 60s and beyond (pay for play does not qualify).

As you age your looks, patience, energy and testosterone levels decrease. You are deluding yourself if you think you can still pull significantly younger multiple 9s and 10s in your senior years and even if you can they will wear you out physically, financially and emotionally, you will have nothing in common, you will disappoint them in the bedroom and/or they will eventually leave you for a younger guy possibly leaving you heartbroken.

You could in theory find it easier to spin plates with women around your own age but as they most likely be suffering the ravages of time in terms of looks etc. like yourself why would you bother with all the effort?

The choice for older guys becomes pay for play and annual trips to Pattaya, enjoying the single life or finding someone you connect with on a more than physical level to spend your remaining years with. Nothing inherently wrong with any of these options, they all have their pros and cons.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Couple of thoughts. A lot has transpired since this thread was first written years ago.

@Von is happily married (nice to see you old friend), my son is happily married (both men married their unicorns.....), I have remarried too.

Top tier men are not the sociopaths @jhonny9546 believes them to be. My father, God rest his soul (he was alive when I originally wrote this) was a top tier man. He was very handsome, 6'3", outdoorsman, was an excellent lawyer who argued and won before the US Supreme Court. He had character. He was a leader. He had lifelong friends. He was tough; direct; unapologetic. He had expectations and standards, and he was also loving and kind. He was stoic. He taught the same Sunday school class for 35 years until his death. His Sunday school students insisted on serving at his funeral. My son at 15 was a pallbearer at his burial alongside classmates from gradeschool (men in their 80s) who drove hours to pay their respects. A county prosecutor who my father had argued against and also with, age 86, accompanied by his wife of 66 years, drove 9 hours ONE way to pay respects. After the funeral service they drove home 9 hours.

My ex husband loved & revered my father (his own father died tragically when he was 12)....my husband hears all the stories about my dad from family and wishes he could have met him.

My dad was a great man.

And he raised my sisters and I to be the kind of woman described at the outset of this thread.

My son leads. He remembers his grandfather, has the deepest respect for him & strives to embody his character, and mine, and his dad's.

So much begins with a man being a good father, guiding, holding accountable, leading, developing character. I agree with @AmsterdamAssassin that integrity and devotion are paramount in raising solid children into solid adults. My father was tough, had high standards, high integrity, and was a devoted father. He was not perfect, and could own his flaws and mistakes with humility.

Although we have been divorced now over 10 years, my ex husband and I have always co-parented amicably and with integrity and mutual respect. His mother was a unicorn in every way herself. After she was widowed she never remarried; never had sexual relations with another man (my ex husband's father was the love of her life; she gave him her virginity on their wedding night, which she was always funny and reverent about)....and I married my first husband because of the character I saw in that family....

Character is of the utmost importance. Beauty is wonderful too of course, but finding a beautiful woman with character is finding a unicorn. They DO exist, but they are what every man seeks, so these are the most desirable women for marriage; for motherhood. A woman who will join you, inspire you, love you & build a legacy with you.

And men have a deep & primal desire for a partnership/marriage with that kind of meaning and substance. And that is why this thread remains relevant.

Cheers.

These are great, but highly-obnoxious stories you got there. However I’d recommend womanless men ignore them.