How to Spot a Unicorn

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Some are personal questions that I am not going to answer because truly they are not germaine to the point of this thread and I need to act with a certain amount of discretion.

So you answering Desdinova's question about whether you personally are starting menopause is perfectly acceptable yet me asking on how to handle women in general when they can no longer remain the perfect female is not? Me asking when women IN GENERAL tend to develop into 'unicorns' is not? Howiestern was asking for insight as to what you were thinking when he asked why you made your current man wait 6 months for sex, but that is not acceptable? We both know that you are bullsh!tting here, and I have now realized that you do not know the answer to mine or his questions and you are too arrogant to admit that (I notice adults HATE admitting they do not know something, especially those over the age of 35), or you do perhaps know the answer to these questions, but you believe we will dislike the answer. And how does none of these questions pertain to the thread? In order to find such 'unicorns' I would have to know WHERE to look, and WHEN.

You are just 3 years older than my son and I doubt you would behave like this in person.

Lady, I am not afraid to speak my mind. I don't have very much of a filter to be honest because I refuse to second guess anything I want to say. And I have realized that people will respect you for brutal honesty. One of the downsides though is that others, such as you for example, may dislike and even hate me for it though and can sometime get me in trouble somehow. This is one of the reasons why I clashed with my father before because I am no longer afraid to say what I want to say. If someone were to insinuate arrogance to me like you have, then I would rip into them, it does not matter who they are unless they can negatively impact me in some way.

Whereas I expect @Asmodeus or Des or guru or @taiyuu_otoko or Tenacity would say the same thing to my face as they type. I would say everything stated here in person too.

If they are on this website they probably would, just like me. Your arrogance makes you believe that you are so great that we would just bow down to your feet, but it's not happening. And if we did state everything here to you in person, you would react completely differently. If anything you would say more and probably answer my questions lol.

But hurling projections and insults @ImTheDoubleGreatest! does not serve you well nor cast you in a sympathetic light.

My testosterone does not let me care what you think.

You take offense at my statement that you have much to learn. You do, sorry.

Ok so I take offense and? I don't see your point on this really. Also, it isn't directly because of your statement, words are just words. It is your insinuation that you are better than all of us. I hate arrogance in others. Feel as great about yourself as you want, good for you, but do not say or imply that we are lower than you because of it. That is shameful and dishonorable, and I can tell you right now that the one high quality woman I have met was not arrogant at all. She was very humble, to the point that no one would believe her talents or her greatness.

Read this again in 3, 5 or 10 years and you'll see. We all suffer from the ignorance and arrogance of youth in our time. It's all good.

Oh don't give me that, that is just you not wanting to confront the issue at hand here and trying to passive-aggressively insult, I am not as stupid as you may have been when you were my age. "You might become as smart as me 3, 5, or 10 years from now, but as of this moment you are just another dumb and overly-confident teen." I've heard it all before. Throughout my 17 years on this Earth, I have realized that adults only say "you'll know what I mean in [insert period of time here] from now" when they think they're too good to actually admit to someone younger than them that they do not know the answer, or because they are just too lazy to explain it. And here's the funny part, as I look back at every situation where I was told that, I realize that the adults who told me that were ALWAYS wrong (adults from YOUR generation, it was always someone from Generation Jones or Generation X). Not once were they ever right.

Answer me these questions for the 5th time:

Women can temporarily be truly altruistic simply because the live and feel in the moment much more so than men, but what happens when that facade fades? What is a man to do when her true inspiration fades? And when do women tend to develop into 'unicorns'?

I await your response @BeExcellent, and I predict it to be the same as all the other responses:
"But I already DID answer your questions" "You are too young and dumb to understand" "You insulting me and calling me out bothers me, now I don't want to answer your questions that you have asked me 4 times prior" "I just don't FEEEEEEL like it" *ignore* *petty, passive-aggressive insult she thinks I won't catch onto* "...[insert long and unrelated topic here]..."

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Well boys, here we have it. She pretty much showed us all about the hypergamous and ego-driven nature of females all throughout the thread:

Saying how we are all wrong about there not being any quality women and that there are women like her out there yet at the same time trying to sound humble by saying how she isn't one to judge whether or not she is a quality woman; talking about her achievements when I asked where these women are (essentially showing off how she is 'high quality'); talking about the man she managed to grab ahold of (she tried talking about him like he had a lot of achievements, but only because she was trying to say "THIS is the man I got. I got a great man, not an average man, look at how good I can do"); acknowledging me twice yet not answering my questions that made her acknowledge me in the first place because it might somehow pop her ever so precious superego; completely ignoring Howiestern's questions and talking about something completely different to try to change the subject; completely ignoring my first question; passive-aggressive insults; trying to use her age as leverage over me to say that because she is older she knows more; again somehow turning what we post into something about her ("You are just 3 years older than my son...." I mean what the heck does that have to do with anything? I am not your son nor am I like your son. Show him this website if you are confident in how you've raised him thus far and let's see how much better we can teach him to be a man than you or your current man or ex-husband).

Well, we did learn from her at least. Women can only hold the facade for so long hahaha.

 

[Reptar]

You sound like the folks in the "Relationships/Dating" section on blue pill websites like Love Shack or City Data lol. You know how the advice goes, they basically tell guys to ELIMINATE all of the shyt that's working in terms of turning the chicks on in online dating (OLD).... you know like:

- If you have a nice body, don't show shirtless pics
- If you have a nice sports car that chicks usually like, don't show pics of it
- If you hold any type of major position with a popular company, don't mention it
- If you have succeeded at something major, don't mention it
- Don't crack jokes, don't come off c0cky, don't come off arrogant
- Don't make it seem like you are a player and talking to multiple women

You know....eliminate all of the shyt that actually WORKS with online dating (OLD) and just put up a boring, bland, "nice" profile that no fvcking chick clicks on, and when communicating with her....just have a boring, bland, "safe" convo that doesn't stimulate any fvcking real/raw emotions lol.

Yeah, yeah, I know...you won't get nearly as many clicks, attention, or numbers like you used to...but ummm at least your profile will now be "quality" based on the blue pill bullshyt standards of us fools here at Love Shack or City Data

Love this. I have a lot of good **** going for me and I will bring it up if it helps me out. Anybody who hates on you is somebody who is jealous.

How do you distinguish somebody who is successful or destined to be successful? They are happy when other people are successful.

If somebody puts you down for displaying a positive trait, unless you did it in an annoying way, then it means that person has an issue.

On a side note: I've been making it more of a habit to drop mentioning things high status things about myself. Mainly because I wanted to detach from my ego more and become less dependent on other people's validation. There's nothing wrong with being validation seeking, everybody is to an extent. This is just a stage I want to put myself through, and maybe stay at. I've personally noticed a lot of things make very little difference in how people react to you. If you're a generally successful guy, the way you carry yourself alone will show people there's more to you than meets the eye.

 

[BeExcellent]

Oh brother. When the 17 year old stops all the ranting and projecting perhaps we can have a conversation. I have answered each question posed by @ImTheDoubleGreatest! but either you didn't read thoroughly or you don't understand. Not sure which.

Go read reply #66 again about where/how you find a good girl. I specifically responded with regard to your age group which is quite young (and frankly to your advantage) but she isn't going to have all the characteristics that someone like me has for crying out loud because she hasn't been on the planet long enough. She will have the building blocks of her character in place and will exhibit many of the character traits noted throughout this thread. She will likely be a virgin as young as you are, and I would expect a "good" girl should be. If she has the right character traits and continues her own personal development she will keep getting better as she gets older.

I mean what are you expecting me to say? Go to the gym on Tuesday? Attend church? Good people could be anywhere if you recognize what to look for.

As far as altruism I reject your premise entirely. I disagree with the assertion you are making that women put on a front. Many do...not ALL, not the good ones. Perhaps an example would help.

My stepmother presently is nursing my father as he is dying. They have been married 30 years. She could leave him and be just fine and get more rest for her own serious health issues and have far less stress in her life. Instead she coordinates his doctor visits, works with all the health professionals, refuses to place him into a nursing home (because my father wishes to stay in his home), communicates with all the grown children and runs the household. Let me tell you caring for my father is her very stressful full time job. She is nearly 80. She is his confidant and best friend.

You would do very well to have someone like my stepmother at your bedside when you are old and gray, someone who gives to you out of love and duty; someone who puts your needs before her own. My stepmother is an incredible woman. There is no agenda, there is no "temporary altruism" or whatever you said. The chips are down and her character is on full display and her character is awe inspiring. I thank God for her every day because I live in another state with school age kids and I couldn't do for him what she is doing due to my responsibilities to my own family. She is there even when she is exhausted, even when my Dad screams at the health care people and tries to run them off; screams at her out of his own frustrations with his declining state.

Once again I am going to ignore the projections and insults you hurl and just chalk it up to immaturity. It is impossible to reason with the unreasonable.

Nothing about me matters in this thread. The thread wasn't about "me" until you made it so for your own attention and entertainment. It isn't even meaningful to the thread, rather it's a distraction. I made the thread because of other posters here expressing an interest in finding a good girl, a "unicorn" if you will.

There are lots of other threads going on now, recently and in the past about this subject matter either directly or indirectly. @Tenacity and many others see value in a discussion on the subject because these men are looking at the dating landscape trying to figure out if/how to find a good person to start a family with or to get of the merry go round with the chicks who look great but otherwise don't have much to offer.

It is precisely because women like my stepmother, like myself, like other wives and girlfriends of some men here are not common in the SMP that a discussion about who such a woman is and what she acts like has value. Many men on SS don't know what to look for (or don't think it exists at all, which is understandable.)

That is the intent of the thread...to help the guys who have the question of what are they seeking if this is the sort of woman they would like to find...that and what sort of man do they need to be to appeal to such a woman, because these "unicorn" type women have more choices than anyone else in the market. They are high value so they expect to be matched up with a man of similar high value.

 

[sharkbeat]

My stepmother presently is nursing my father as he is dying. They have been married 30 years. She could leave him and be just fine and get more rest for her own serious health issues and have far less stress in her life.

Women of your stepmother generation were far more behaved than the current. That's how a society should be, that it focuses on family, that family integrity matters a lot. Now all that is thrown out the window. Gender becomes "fluid", whatever that means. No more gender roles as apparently almost everyone out there have been brainwashed that 'you can do ittt!!' Men as fathers are under attack. Men as a gender are also under attack. Men are also dismissed as lovers. And family is as easily formed as it is destroyed like disposable utensils.

Women are capable of so much more, yet the foundation that makes women women have been destroyed by the modern lifestyles. Bad behaviors are actually encouraged and even cherished. Since when the word 'nice' actually becomes a bad thing? A priest once said (paraphrased) "we are living in times where virtue is weakness." When men see women sleeping with the 'bad' boys, men become bad boys. Look at the entire PUA community manufacturing fake bad boys. What do you think the popularity of books like 50 shades of grey would teach to the new generation of men and women?

As a good man, he has to protect his own time and asset against all kinds of women and potential heartbreaking scenarios, divorce, homelessness, or even death. Chance is getting slimmer.

You are a woman yourself, and you should know the kind of mind games that women play, and how easy it is for men to fall into it. Back then in your father's generation, you'd probably see 1 woman out of 100 doing these mind tricks, and this woman would probably hang out in public spaces flirting with all the guys. Other women hate this woman, and society then did not encourage her behavior at all. Now it's 99 out of 100, while the normal one left behind -- that unicorn who is probably confused and has low self-esteem because all her friends ridicule her for her 'conservative' ways of life.

As much as you think how much men here 'hates' women, we actually love women, but the kind of women they used to be. I have heard so many women using their mother or grandmother as an example of what a good woman can be, and how you could have marriages that last for decades. Yes, you are correct that she is a good woman, but women aren't acting like that now. Don't put yourself equal to that just because you both have vaginas -- just how men today aren't swinging axes and terrorizing nearby villages anymore.

Men todays aren't the same as men in the past. Women today are not the same women from back then.

 

[The Duke]

@BeExcellent, you didn't answer a single one of my questions. You've spilled lots of personal information on this forum previously, so I'm not buying that excuse. My questions were very pointed and designed to make a point which I suspect you saw this coming. By not answering it became obvious you avoided them for a reason. I did try and give you the benefit of the doubt!

And give DoubleGreatest some props....he has not backed down, stayed pretty calm, and has held his ground quite well and he is only 17.

Have a good day!

 

[Poonani Maker]

Whatdaya think about this take on Women NOW, that they don't need a man's make them warm (go get fire, put a cloak on them) or to get them food (hunt) or light for night (used to slay Whales and extract the oil from its eyeball - women can't do that, but Edison made light so easy with the light bulb). Our technology hurt us as men.

 

[BeExcellent]

What kind of guy dates a girl and waits 6months to have sex with her?
I can see a few possibilities:
1. The guy is pretty beta at the end of the day, although your description of him says otherwise.
2. He was having sex with somebody else!
3. His penis doesn't work very well!

Perhaps there are more I missed.

Why did you wait 6months? Is your sex drive not that strong? 6months is a long time. I understand that not getting caught up in your emotions is important, but 6months makes me wonder if you aren't lacking some emotion/sex drive? After all, this is something that does make females attractive along with submissiveness? If you made him wait 6months, that is certainly not submissive. Most women want to be with their man, having an "arrangement" like yours is not very feminine.

So how does the financial end of this enter into the equation? You stated that you still support your husband financially, so I would assume this guy you are dating makes more and that is attractive to you. You also stated a doctor and former athlete hit on you and you blew them off. I'd assume this guy you are dating makes more than them as well.

@Howiestern here are your answers
1. Financial: No involvement with him financially. He is still recovering from a nasty divorce and is more pinched financially than he is accustomed to. He is a successful guy and has the character traits of a successful guy but I am not concerned about his money other than the fact that he has reached a level of success at or above my level and he can look after himself and his affairs, as I can look after my own. I actually have shared some business contacts with him that would assist him financially if a deal gets put together, but that is up to him. I simply pass along the opportunity and get out of the way.

I have no idea if the doctor or the retired athlete make more or less than the man I am seeing. The retired athlete is remarried so totally off limits (he was joking where was I 5 years ago when he was single, as I said previously) but my guess is he is a high worth guy. I turned the doctor down because I'm not interested in him. I'm around doctors all the time as I work in the healthcare sector so "a doctor" per se is not a big deal to me. Besides and more importantly I like who I'm already seeing.

It's not ipso facto about money. It's just that successful people happen to have the skill set that brings money. Everybody around me has money to some degree or other. Some have more than I do, some much more, some less. I'm content with where I am but I'm not going to be a sugar mama. That's all. So I'm going to get to know someone well enough to know they have their own affairs handled. I'm going to do that prior to having sex because if they don't have their act together I'm not going to get physically involved. It takes some time to learn that about someone. As for me I can handle my own and don't expect help.

2. The six months. Firstly this is a long distance arrangement as I noted earlier. So things cannot develop as quickly in the first place due to location. There are plenty of logistics attached to this as well due to children etc. as I noted previously. I am cautious about getting physical because I am conservative that way and I also wanted to get to know him. As far as desire that existed immediately but as I note elsewhere in this thread the hallmark of a quality person is self control. He kissed me on the first date and I knew things were very good in the desire department. There is no lack of emotion or submission (on my part) and certainly no lack of desire.

Things progressed very naturally, comfortably, effortlessly and built to a comfort level where sex was the natural progression. For us that was a 6 month time frame. We went slow and have gotten to know one another. There is an intimacy built between us. We are happy so I don't see how asking "Why 6 months" like a grand inquisitor has any meaning whatsoever. It's not as though he was pining away unrequited for that period of time and it's not as though I "made" him wait either. Do I think it would have gone somewhat faster were we in closer proximity? Probably but we aren't so I can't say.

3. Is he "beta"? He leads. He expects to lead. He is a gentleman at the same time and very patient in his demeanor, although he is ambitious and savvy. He knows who he is and doesn't worry what others think. I find all these traits attractive so I am happy to give my time & affection to him. He is also socially adroit which is wonderful. I love to listen to him and see him engaged in conversation. I like to see him shine.

4. Is he seeing others? Perhaps. What he does is his business. I don't ask nor push for that information. If I want to go for coffee or a drink with someone else I do so. I expect he does as well. That doesn't change that I really like him nor does it change that he really likes me. If either of us finds someone else we'd rather pursue to exclusion of the other then things will evolve in that way at that time. Neither of us seem too concerned about that. I'm not. I know I have a lot to offer. So does he. We both have abundant options but we still choose to spend time together.

We are careful I think precisely because we are at a distance. The arrangement might go somewhere but obviously from a pragmatic standpoint the chances of that are inherently low. We both know this. So the only realistic choice is to enjoy it with an open mind and a willing spirit and see what happens. Neither of us would pursue it at all but for the fact that we each find the other person to be exceptional as I noted previously.

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I see you re-read the 66th reply. I really think that is the key thing at your stage in life. I'm advising you just as I would advise my own son (and I appreciate your persistence - the rawness is youth and that is cool).

In addition you might wish to read (if you haven't already) both the 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. I gave the 48 Laws of Power to my son for his most recent birthday. It is never too soon to learn the intricacies of human interactions.

And for the record I adore men. And I know y'all love women or you wouldn't put so much time into all things regarding women.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Oh brother. When the 17 year old stops all the ranting and projecting perhaps we can have a conversation. I have answered each question posed by @ImTheDoubleGreatest! but either you didn't read thoroughly or you don't understand. Not sure which.

Go read reply #66 again about where/how you find a good girl. I specifically responded with regard to your age group which is quite young (and frankly to your advantage) but she isn't going to have all the characteristics that someone like me has for crying out loud because she hasn't been on the planet long enough. She will have the building blocks of her character in place and will exhibit many of the character traits noted throughout this thread. She will likely be a virgin as young as you are, and I would expect a "good" girl should be. If she has the right character traits and continues her own personal development she will keep getting better as she gets older.

I mean what are you expecting me to say? Go to the gym on Tuesday? Attend church? Good people could be anywhere if you recognize what to look for.

As far as altruism I reject your premise entirely. I disagree with the assertion you are making that women put on a front. Many do...not ALL, not the good ones. Perhaps an example would help.

My stepmother presently is nursing my father as he is dying. They have been married 30 years. She could leave him and be just fine and get more rest for her own serious health issues and have far less stress in her life. Instead she coordinates his doctor visits, works with all the health professionals, refuses to place him into a nursing home (because my father wishes to stay in his home), communicates with all the grown children and runs the household. Let me tell you caring for my father is her very stressful full time job. She is nearly 80. She is his confidant and best friend.

You would do very well to have someone like my stepmother at your bedside when you are old and gray, someone who gives to you out of love and duty; someone who puts your needs before her own. My stepmother is an incredible woman. There is no agenda, there is no "temporary altruism" or whatever you said. The chips are down and her character is on full display and her character is awe inspiring. I thank God for her every day because I live in another state with school age kids and I couldn't do for him what she is doing due to my responsibilities to my own family. She is there even when she is exhausted, even when my Dad screams at the health care people and tries to run them off; screams at her out of his own frustrations with his declining state.

Once again I am going to ignore the projections and insults you hurl and just chalk it up to immaturity. It is impossible to reason with the unreasonable.

Nothing about me matters in this thread. The thread wasn't about "me" until you made it so for your own attention and entertainment. It isn't even meaningful to the thread, rather it's a distraction. I made the thread because of other posters here expressing an interest in finding a good girl, a "unicorn" if you will.

There are lots of other threads going on now, recently and in the past about this subject matter either directly or indirectly. @Tenacity and many others see value in a discussion on the subject because these men are looking at the dating landscape trying to figure out if/how to find a good person to start a family with or to get of the merry go round with the chicks who look great but otherwise don't have much to offer.

It is precisely because women like my stepmother, like myself, like other wives and girlfriends of some men here are not common in the SMP that a discussion about who such a woman is and what she acts like has value. Many men on SS don't know what to look for (or don't think it exists at all, which is understandable.)

That is the intent of the thread...to help the guys who have the question of what are they seeking if this is the sort of woman they would like to find...that and what sort of man do they need to be to appeal to such a woman, because these "unicorn" type women have more choices than anyone else in the market. They are high value so they expect to be matched up with a man of similar high value.

Holy crap, you did EXACTLY as I predicted, even after I told you what I thought would happen:

Oh brother. When the 17 year old stops all the ranting and projecting perhaps we can have a conversation. I have answered each question posed by @ImTheDoubleGreatest! but either you didn't read thoroughly or you don't understand. Not sure which.

"But I already DID answer your questions"
"You are too young and dumb to understand"

Go read reply #66 again about where/how you find a good girl. I specifically responded with regard to your age group which is quite young (and frankly to your advantage) but she isn't going to have all the characteristics that someone like me has for crying out loud because she hasn't been on the planet long enough. She will have the building blocks of her character in place and will exhibit many of the character traits noted throughout this thread. She will likely be a virgin as young as you are, and I would expect a "good" girl should be. If she has the right character traits and continues her own personal development she will keep getting better as she gets older.

...[insert long and unrelated topic here]..."

As far as altruism I reject your premise entirely. I disagree with the assertion you are making that women put on a front.

"I just don't FEEEEEEL like it"

My stepmother presently is nursing my father as he is dying. They have been married 30 years. She could leave him and be just fine and get more rest for her own serious health issues and have far less stress in her life. Instead she coordinates his doctor visits, works with all the health professionals, refuses to place him into a nursing home (because my father wishes to stay in his home), communicates with all the grown children and runs the household. Let me tell you caring for my father is her very stressful full time job. She is nearly 80. She is his confidant and best friend.
You would do very well to have someone like my stepmother at your bedside when you are old and gray, someone who gives to you out of love and duty; someone who puts your needs before her own. My stepmother is an incredible woman. There is no agenda, there is no "temporary altruism" or whatever you said. The chips are down and her character is on full display and her character is awe inspiring. I thank God for her every day because I live in another state with school age kids and I couldn't do for him what she is doing due to my responsibilities to my own family. She is there even when she is exhausted, even when my Dad screams at the health care people and tries to run them off; screams at her out of his own frustrations with his declining state.

Read sharkbeat's post.

Once again I am going to ignore the projections and insults you hurl and just chalk it up to immaturity. It is impossible to reason with the unreasonable.

*petty, passive-aggressive insult she thinks I won't catch onto*

Nothing about me matters in this thread. The thread wasn't about "me" until you made it so for your own attention and entertainment. It isn't even meaningful to the thread, rather it's a distraction. I made the thread because of other posters here expressing an interest in finding a good girl, a "unicorn" if you will.
There are lots of other threads going on now, recently and in the past about this subject matter either directly or indirectly. @Tenacityand many others see value in a discussion on the subject because these men are looking at the dating landscape trying to figure out if/how to find a good person to start a family with or to get of the merry go round with the chicks who look great but otherwise don't have much to offer.

"You insulting me and calling me out bothers me, now I don't want to answer yourquestions that you have asked me 4 times prior" "I just don't FEEEEEEL like it"

It is precisely because women like my stepmother, like myself, like other wives and girlfriends of some men here are not common in the SMP that a discussion about who such a woman is and what she acts like has value. Many men on SS don't know what to look for (or don't think it exists at all, which is understandable.)

That is the intent of the thread...to help the guys who have the question of what are they seeking if this is the sort of woman they would like to find...that and what sort of man do they need to be to appeal to such a woman, because these "unicorn" type women have more choices than anyone else in the market. They are high value so they expect to be matched up with a man of similar high value.

The one high quality female I have met did not EXPECT anything from men. She actually is currently with a scumbag boyfriend who cheats on her and sucks at life, but she 'loves' him (my older sister and her are best friends so this is what my sister told me). That's actually what makes her high quality. She has no entitlement, no EXPECTATIONS of what a man is supposed to be, which is completely unlike you.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Anyway, I was not asking where/how to find them in my former post (you DID answer that one so I thank you for it). This is because I have realized by your description of them and by where you said they are at that I will have to come across them by chance at this point. After all, you did say that they could be anywhere.

Again though, you are refusing to answer these questions. I shall rephrase the first one for you:

MOST women can only be truly altruistic temporarily simply because they live and feel in the moment much more so than men, but what happens when that facade fades?

What is a man to do when her true inspiration fades?

And when do women tend to develop into 'unicorns'?

@Howiestern here are your answers
1. Financial: No involvement with him financially. He is still recovering from a nasty divorce and is more pinched financially than he is accustomed to. He is a successful guy and has the character traits of a successful guy but I am not concerned about his money other than the fact that he has reached a level of success at or above my level and he can look after himself and his affairs, as I can look after my own. I actually have shared some business contacts with him that would assist him financially if a deal gets put together, but that is up to him. I simply pass along the opportunity and get out of the way.

I have no idea if the doctor or the retired athlete make more or less than the man I am seeing. The retired athlete is remarried so totally off limits (he was joking where was I 5 years ago when he was single, as I said previously) but my guess is he is a high worth guy. I turned the doctor down because I'm not interested in him. I'm around doctors all the time as I work in the healthcare sector so "a doctor" per se is not a big deal to me. Besides and more importantly I like who I'm already seeing.

It's not ipso facto about money. It's just that successful people happen to have the skill set that brings money. Everybody around me has money to some degree or other. Some have more than I do, some much more, some less. I'm content with where I am but I'm not going to be a sugar mama. That's all. So I'm going to get to know someone well enough to know they have their own affairs handled. I'm going to do that prior to having sex because if they don't have their act together I'm not going to get physically involved. It takes some time to learn that about someone. As for me I can handle my own and don't expect help.

2. The six months. Firstly this is a long distance arrangement as I noted earlier. So things cannot develop as quickly in the first place due to location. There are plenty of logistics attached to this as well due to children etc. as I noted previously. I am cautious about getting physical because I am conservative that way and I also wanted to get to know him. As far as desire that existed immediately but as I note elsewhere in this thread the hallmark of a quality person is self control. He kissed me on the first date and I knew things were very good in the desire department. There is no lack of emotion or submission (on my part) and certainly no lack of desire.

Things progressed very naturally, comfortably, effortlessly and built to a comfort level where sex was the natural progression. For us that was a 6 month time frame. We went slow and have gotten to know one another. There is an intimacy built between us. We are happy so I don't see how asking "Why 6 months" like a grand inquisitor has any meaning whatsoever. It's not as though he was pining away unrequited for that period of time and it's not as though I "made" him wait either. Do I think it would have gone somewhat faster were we in closer proximity? Probably but we aren't so I can't say.

3. Is he "beta"? He leads. He expects to lead. He is a gentleman at the same time and very patient in his demeanor, although he is ambitious and savvy. He knows who he is and doesn't worry what others think. I find all these traits attractive so I am happy to give my time & affection to him. He is also socially adroit which is wonderful. I love to listen to him and see him engaged in conversation. I like to see him shine.

4. Is he seeing others? Perhaps. What he does is his business. I don't ask nor push for that information. If I want to go for coffee or a drink with someone else I do so. I expect he does as well. That doesn't change that I really like him nor does it change that he really likes me. If either of us finds someone else we'd rather pursue to exclusion of the other then things will evolve in that way at that time. Neither of us seem too concerned about that. I'm not. I know I have a lot to offer. So does he. We both have abundant options but we still choose to spend time together.

We are careful I think precisely because we are at a distance. The arrangement might go somewhere but obviously from a pragmatic standpoint the chances of that are inherently low. We both know this. So the only realistic choice is to enjoy it with an open mind and a willing spirit and see what happens. Neither of us would pursue it at all but for the fact that we each find the other person to be exceptional as I noted previously.

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I see you re-read the 66th reply. I really think that is the key thing at your stage in life. I'm advising you just as I would advise my own son (and I appreciate your persistence - the rawness is youth and that is cool).

In addition you might wish to read (if you haven't already) both the 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. I gave the 48 Laws of Power to my son for his most recent birthday. It is never too soon to learn the intricacies of human interactions.

And for the record I adore men. And I know y'all love women or you wouldn't put so much time into all things regarding women.

Ayyyy there we go, now stuff is starting to make a hell of a lot more sense.

 

[BeExcellent]

I did read @sharkbeat's post. I was raised with the same values but I know the landscape has changed. I do hear what the younger guys are saying and trust me it IS concerning since I have young people who will be in the dating market soon enough.

Again though, you are refusing to answer these questions. I shall rephrase the first one for you:

MOST women can only be truly altruistic temporarily simply because they live and feel in the moment much more so than men, but what happens when that facade fades?

What is a man to do when her true inspiration fades?

And when do women tend to develop into 'unicorns'?

The real answer to each of these questions is "It Depends". Because it does depend on the woman in question.

It's just like asking (about men) who will stand and have character when the chips are down? That is what you are essentially asking unless I REALLY misunderstood the spirit of your questions.

Your first two inquiries are saying the same thing in different ways. If the facade fades the man has a choice to make. Does he remain or does he leave? What costs do his choices incur? Does he have assets and children (in the case of marriage) to concern himself with? It requires a thorough evaluation. I have been in that place doing that very evaluation and it is not easy. Not all the variables are financial. So a man retains the autonomy to lead in his own life irrespective of what others (including his wife, LTR, mother, father, etc. etc.) are doing...but those choices if they relate to someone else have consequences. TRP is about men retaining autonomy and dominion over their lives (or regaining it) and this is key.

My position is that there ARE women for whom their man IS their inspiration and for those women the "true inspiration" as you say will not fade. My stepmom is such a woman. But the man must lead such a woman. This is actually where many men fail. When the man fails to lead (and in consideration of the degree to which he fails to lead) then all bets are off.

Let me make clear an important detail about my father. He never lost frame. Ever. He never failed to lead his marriage, ever. Even if my stepmom didn't like a decision he made, it didn't matter. He led anyway. My Dad is the most alpha man I've ever seen up close and personal over many years. My Dad has his flaws and he is human. But he leads, make no mistake about that. From his leadership derives her loyalty. And my deep respect. And from his leadership also, I might add derived my mother's contempt.

See how profound that is? My Dad was the same guy in two different marriages. My BPD/NPD mother held him in contempt after a while because she refused to submit to him. Meanwhile he led anyway. My stepmother loves my Dad and is devoted to him. I do not believe for one minute my mom would care for my Dad the way my stepmom is doing. This is a great illustration of what a difference the right woman makes. My stepmom is the right woman.

So to your second question, when do unicorns develop? This will depend. The variables include background, relationship history, values, character and the foundational things from her childhood and youth combined with her own personal growth and self-improvement in adulthood. The younger they are the more the values from youth carry weight, over her life her own life experience carries more and more weight. For you as a very young man (and I will council my son thusly when he is a little older) the family background and the values conferred there are most important. Even if she questions the values as she becomes an adult they are ingrained and she is likely to return to them and see their wisdom in time. For a woman my age, the background values are still there but they are joined by life lessons and wisdom gained through one's own experience. You should always pay careful attention to who a woman associates with. She will ALWAYS associate with those who are like her and with those whom she aspires to be like.

 

[Asmodeus]

Shirtless pics are an instant delete for me. It may not be your intention but I just assume these men are attention *****s. Same goes for sport car pics.

If a man goes to the gym everyday, and through his hard work and endeavors attains a muscular body... Does he not deserve to feel proud about his accomplishments?

@Desdinova no I don't mind you asking at all. Menopause is a long process, a decade or more. I'm starting in I'd say. The occasional hormonal migraine (which clean diet helps with a great deal) and the occasional hot flash. I wish the whole monthly cycle would stop frankly but that is not how it works.

I'm just honestly good with me. I have great friends and good kids and a nice life. I'm personally content so a great man to spend time with is kinda the bonus plan.

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! Really I've answered your questions and some of @Howiestern 's questions too. Some are personal questions that I am not going to answer because truly they are not germaine to the point of this thread and I need to act with a certain amount of discretion.

This is a man's forum and I respect that. I understand healthy skepticism within that context too. But hurling projections and insults @ImTheDoubleGreatest! does not serve you well nor cast you in a sympathetic light. You are just 3 years older than my son and I doubt you would behave like this in person. Whereas I expect @Asmodeus or Des or guru or @taiyuu_otoko or Tenacity would say the same thing to my face as they type. I would say everything stated here in person too. You take offense at my statement that you have much to learn. You do, sorry.

Read this again in 3, 5 or 10 years and you'll see. We all suffer from the ignorance and arrogance of youth in our time. It's all good.

Cheers

Thank you BeExcellent. And I always enjoy a little jousting match. I only aired out your life here in deeper analysis of your perspective. But you say you feel happy and content, and that is the goal in life.

The only issue I have with the unicorn... Is that many people search for this, with the idea that the UNICORN will make them happy. This is false.
There is only ONE person who can make you happy and that is yourself. There is only ONE person who can complete you and that is yourself.

Perhaps as others say this unicorn only comes when you have found happiness... Any person who places their happiness in a woman, and makes her the source of his happiness is making a mistake. A unicorn then is a self-actualized person, and a self-actualized person would only find their counterpart in another person who is self-actualized.

However, I have yet to find many self-actualized women. Too many women have a heard mentality, too many need other things to make them happy be them material things/a man/ect, too many are unhappy with what they have and who they are, too many wallow in mediocrity and do not seek to make themselves better. Perhaps some exist, but those that do are certainly as rare as the mythical creature for which you describe them as.

 

[BeExcellent]

A unicorn then is a self-actualized person, and a self-actualized person would only find their counterpart in another person who is self-actualized.

Brilliant!!

@Asmodeus this is the most elegant way to put it from this whole thread.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I did read @sharkbeat's post. I was raised with the same values but I know the landscape has changed. I do hear what the younger guys are saying and trust me it IS concerning since I have young people who will be in the dating market soon enough.



The real answer to each of these questions is "It Depends". Because it does depend on the woman in question.

It's just like asking (about men) who will stand and have character when the chips are down? That is what you are essentially asking unless I REALLY misunderstood the spirit of your questions.

Your first two inquiries are saying the same thing in different ways. If the facade fades the man has a choice to make. Does he remain or does he leave? What costs do his choices incur? Does he have assets and children (in the case of marriage) to concern himself with? It requires a thorough evaluation. I have been in that place doing that very evaluation and it is not easy. Not all the variables are financial. So a man retains the autonomy to lead in his own life irrespective of what others (including his wife, LTR, mother, father, etc. etc.) are doing...but those choices if they relate to someone else have consequences. TRP is about men retaining autonomy and dominion over their lives (or regaining it) and this is key.

My position is that there ARE women for whom their man IS their inspiration and for those women the "true inspiration" as you say will not fade. My stepmom is such a woman. But the man must lead such a woman. This is actually where many men fail. When the man fails to lead (and in consideration of the degree to which he fails to lead) then all bets are off.

Let me make clear an important detail about my father. He never lost frame. Ever. He never failed to lead his marriage, ever. Even if my stepmom didn't like a decision he made, it didn't matter. He led anyway. My Dad is the most alpha man I've ever seen up close and personal over many years. My Dad has his flaws and he is human. But he leads, make no mistake about that. From his leadership derives her loyalty. And my deep respect. And from his leadership also, I might add derived my mother's contempt.

See how profound that is? My Dad was the same guy in two different marriages. My BPD/NPD mother held him in contempt after a while because she refused to submit to him. Meanwhile he led anyway. My stepmother loves my Dad and is devoted to him. I do not believe for one minute my mom would care for my Dad the way my stepmom is doing. This is a great illustration of what a difference the right woman makes. My stepmom is the right woman.

So to your second question, when do unicorns develop? This will depend. The variables include background, relationship history, values, character and the foundational things from her childhood and youth combined with her own personal growth and self-improvement in adulthood. The younger they are the more the values from youth carry weight, over her life her own life experience carries more and more weight. For you as a very young man (and I will council my son thusly when he is a little older) the family background and the values conferred there are most important. Even if she questions the values as she becomes an adult they are ingrained and she is likely to return to them and see their wisdom in time. For a woman my age, the background values are still there but they are joined by life lessons and wisdom gained through one's own experience. You should always pay careful attention to who a woman associates with. She will ALWAYS associate with those who are like her and with those whom she aspires to be like.

Now we're getting somewhere. For my questions, I am not asking for specifics, rather a broad general consensus. Why am I asking? I know that women like this are generally snatched up really quickly, so I want to know when the best time is for me to get first serves. And I ask what a man is to do because I want to know what I can do to rekindle her submission/devotion towards me in case say I get married but have a huge fight with my spouse (I do plan to get married at some point).

 

[MrWood]

Is it possible to have less "feels" with a possible Unicorn that you find/date rather than your Oneitis?
Does a supplicant and happily submitted female create some kind of "no fvcks" attitude to a degree?

 

[Asmodeus]

BeExcellent… I am bringing out psychology for this again. Much has been said about unicorns and women, much has been said about how such specimens are rare and how society is destroying this possibility. Tenacity gave a very good little overview of it and the role of society on how people develop, and it is hard to argue his points. It is in fact a validated theory in psychology that the self is something that a person is not born with, people develop their sense of self from their upbringing and from environmental influences. We are products of our environment. Like I said before, genetics loads the gun but environment pulls the trigger… This generation is producing entitled women with very fragile senses of self, who lack femininity. It is a degenerate environment, and it is producing degenerate women…

BeExellent, this is where I have respect for you…. I do not think I made it clear in the last post but here… The same phenomenon is happening to men. Just look at how men and masculinity is portrayed… Men in family sitcoms are idiots and the family dynamic is defined by the woman alone, masculinity is caricaturized and instead of talking about the good aspects of masculinity people focus on the negative aspects of it. Men are told that being a man is bad… Men are told that they should not lead, that they should follow. Men no longer have proper role models anymore; many even grow up without male role models (inner cities for instance where single mothers account for 70% of births). Many do not have strong and responsible men to identify with. Men are also indoctrinated by the degenerate society much the same as women… They ether become one of many things, a man who is so insecure with his fragile masculinity that he needs to prove it at every point, or they shed off their masculinity becoming sheepish and weak (the beta/simp). Where are the secure and strong men? The ones who display the best aspects masculinity has to offer? These are the exception and not the rule… Therefore, the male unicorn is becoming extinct along with the female unicorn. In other words, you are experiencing the same conundrum that most of the men here are experiencing, just in reverse.

I think you perhaps realize this, and what to see it change which is the reason for you being here on this forum. This forum has two kinds of men, men who seek self-improvement (the Don Juan), and men who are lost and trying to recreate themselves after some tragedy that affects their sense of self (BPD breakup people). Such people are more motivated to change and improve. You are not trying to influence men to become unicorns for yourself necessarily, you are trying to do it because you see the bigger picture and do not like what you see. I respect that. Keep doing what you are doing, you have my support.

 

[BeExcellent]

The only issue I have with the unicorn... Is that many people search for this, with the idea that the UNICORN will make them happy. This is false.
There is only ONE person who can make you happy and that is yourself. There is only ONE person who can complete you and that is yourself.

^^^ Agree @Asmodeus. Thank you for your encouragement. Your analysis of me is accurate to an impressive degree. I don't like revealing quite so much about myself but I think it exposes my motivation for being here, which comes from a good place. I'm rooting for great men. I'm trying to be and become a great woman. I'm trying to raise "quality" young people. It ain't for sissies.

The quote above is the utter truth and more common than not. People seek to patch the holes in their psyche with all sorts of salves. Some do it through relationships or external validation provided by the person they pair up with (making the other person in the relationship an object or a trophy, which is to a degree de-humanizing) This was my ex-husband's salve. Some time before me it was alcohol. Since we are no longer married I am concerned it may be alcohol again if he isn't careful, but he is facing the mirror now and wrestling with the demons who lurk there. He has enough wisdom now to know he MUST wrestle with these issues by himself and for himself. It is a deep seated and difficult struggle for him. No one is pulling harder for him in his personal growth/struggle than I am. The irony is that by staying with him I was actually enabling him...he didn't HAVE to face himself from the safety net of the marriage.

For some the salve is alcohol or drugs, for some it is a revolving door of women, for some it is religion, for some material possessions, for some fame, some money, and on and on. Until a person realizes they are OK with themselves the holes in the psyche are agape and are vacuous, never to be filled. Few people are taught self reliance anymore, which is unfortunate. From self reliance comes self actualization. Self reliance comes from independence, meaning someone has had to rely on themselves.

And to be fair many/most women are only independent until such time as they can lock down a man to take care of them. Then they relax and think, OK, I've made it, I don't have to work so hard any more. This is the facade @ImTheDoubleGreatest! is talking about. In actuality the hard work should begin when as a woman you find a good man. The hard work of supporting, encouraging, uplifting, reassuring if needed, loving (physically and emotionally) and giving. Of doing things to make the man's life easier so that he is then free to get out there and slay dragons as men do.

He is the dragon slayer. She is the tender to the dragon slayer, and to the dragon slayer's nest, and to the baby dragons. Ideally.

Where are the secure and strong men? The ones who display the best aspects masculinity has to offer? These are the exception and not the rule… Therefore, the male unicorn is becoming extinct along with the female unicorn. In other words, you are experiencing the same conundrum that most of the men here are experiencing, just in reverse.

This is true. Where are the dragon slayers?

The only advantage I have is that I know what I seek from a character standpoint, which to me is a great advantage. If I don't see the character traits I seek, I next. No matter how good looking, no matter how much money, no matter anything else. Let me explain:

If a man cultivates the ability to build himself and build his life he will be able to rebuild it again (and faster than the first time) if something tears his life down. This ability to re-create and re-invent in the face of adversity is the single most attractive quality a man can possess in my opinion. This trait is rare because it springs from defeating adversity. Men must embrace adversity in its many forms, face it and overcome it. This trait is only recognized by women who either have the same ability themselves to overcome adversity or by women who are totally "All In" with you come hell or high water, or women who are both. Your adversity becomes her adversity if she is 100% invested in you and you overcome as a team. Read "David and Goliath" by Malcolm Gladwell, focus on Chapter 5 about Emil "Jay" Freireich, MD. It is the best illustration of this I can think of.

Great men are the exception to be sure. They are the mavericks, the ambitious, the successful, often the self employed, the unabashedly "No give a sh!t" men out there doing life on their own terms. They are the ones who can take or leave women because there are always lots of women to choose from as women are indeed drawn to men like this. All men should aspire to becoming their best self. It has lots of perks.

But even these men run into the same problem we all collectively run into if we desire an LTR or a life mate. And that is, how to identify someone who will make a good and loyal long term companion. Go back to page one and re-read the first few posts.

 

[Amer1group]

I have never had a proper role model like Asmodeus said. My father is a great leader, he has sort out incredible amounts of shyt, he built a life in our country and now is rebuildinig it here for better (he says), and he "doesn't give a f*ck", but he, for some reason, is afraid of parenting. I give credit for shaping my personality mostly to myself and for a long long time I thought I would be like your ex-husband because I didn't think anything else was possible. This is why I thank all the knowledge that has been said in this website.

Finding out that self-esteem depends on the fact that one is alive was a great relief for me, I don't comprehend why "lazy" people find this difficult. I do want to become my best self (and have some pleasures along the way), but I'm kinda confused as to what improve to build this "leadership" thing I was afraid of previously.

As every thread about women, this one ends being about men.

 

[xstang77]

Bump a good older thread,another one brought me back here and I'll say right about the time this thread ended I came close to the mythical creature...very close

 

[devilkingx2]

As many of you know I am a woman here on SS. Many of the threads I see here are perplexing.

Men complain that they aren't getting the lay on the first date or two so they next, others get the lay on the first date and complain that they can't find a high quality girl (and argue that women who will sex you up on the first date are defacto NOT high quality) and these things seem circular to me.

Guys. You can't hold the view that women who won't have sex on the first few dates are NEXT! material and also hold the view that women who do have sex very early are by default not high quality if you ever expect to find a quality woman.

See the logic flaw? Women who screw on the first or 2nd date are low quality, says the forum. Next if you don't get laid on the first or second date, says the forum.

And you guys wonder why you can't find that unicorn. You opine the dearth of high quality girls. They don't exist says the forum.

May I suggest that you set yourself up for failure with a type of woman that you are not going to run into all that often to begin with?

Most here chase low quality girls looking for easy sex rather than having the patience that pursuit of a high quality girl will require. That's fine but then don't turn around and complain that there are no quality girls! You've screened them out already!

so a high quality woman doesn't want to have sex with me?

Before I go into the characteristics you should look for (and before I debunk other frequently espoused characteristics) you should understand this. Very few unicorns are going to put up with unmarried status and almost none will put up with plate status for very long if they realize they are just a plate. This will be most true in the younger women (18 to 25 say), and will include virgins who are serious about keeping their virginity for the wedding night (or at least for the man with whom they are concretely planning to share their wedding night with.)

so a high quality woman wants to rush into a serious relationship but be chaste about the sex? because wanting to marry someone you don't even want to fvck is an intelligent move?

A man who displays sexual interest will be encouraged by her flirtation with you but vulgarity and overt sexual aggression will be a turn off.

what does vulgarity and overt sexual aggression mean in this context?

does this mean that she's uptight/entitled and demands to be spoken to like a proper lady(like a princess from a period drama)?

does it mean you can't be bold and sexual like the way you normally should be with girls? how do you avoid the friend zone? how do you avoid women who want to lead on an orbiter?

does it mean that she wants you to play games and pretend to not really be interested?

She will expect you to make investment in her before she will give you her body. She knows that the initial physical conquest ends once she gives you her body and she will expect you to have willingness to invest in her before she allows you that conquest. This is why she is extremely unlikely to sleep with you early on. She weeds out the pump & dump guys this way.

so... she wants you to sign the lease before you're allowed inside the car? isn't that the literal opposite of how an alpha male/DJ operates?

She will expect you to have the leadership role. She will expect you to pursue her, to ask her out, to make plans, to invite her along. She will not blow up your phone or email. If she likes you she will wait for you to initiate, she will respond positively and she will enjoy your company. If you expect a woman to be initiating texts and calls you will miss the boat. She will respond well to your pursuit but she will not take the lead. This can look like low interest. It isn't. It is submission to your role as leader. Don't miss this signal and dismiss her.

I feel like not wanting to initiate simple things like texts and calls is a great sign that she's either not that into you or busy juggling 4 guys, which of those is the quality of a unicorn? lol.

There is a logic flaw for men who want sex very quickly and also think women who have sex very quickly are low quality; if they pursue the easy sex, dismiss women who won't have sex very early and then complain there are no quality women. The quality women are usually in the group they dismiss for not putting out right away.

okay I've got you now, a high quality woman doesn't like sex all that much since apparently even when dating guys she likes she doesn't feel like having it.

well, dating a prude or a girl with a low sex drive does seem like a great way to avoid being cheated on, so there's that