How to Spot a Unicorn

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I’ve demonstrated character my entire life. Am I perfect? Nope. But I make decisions from a place of what is best considering all the factors. For me, for my partner, for my family. And I do that from a place rooted in personal integrity. I’ve left friendships and jobs and relationships from a place of character. My sisters also do this. It’s how we were raised. Its how my father, and even for all her flaws, how my dysfunctional mother taught us to be in the world. It’s how I guide my children, it’s how I support my friends.

Not to mention that, with regards to personal growth, you always look back on your life and think, "Hmmm, with my present knowledge / life experience I would've have acted/responded differently." The rationale behind having no regrets is to understand that you made your decisions to the best of your abilities at that time. Hindsight is always 20/20.

 

[member162951]

Damn bro you just went full on White Knight in this thread. I know you didn't refer to me, but we all asking question regarding what she posted.

Questions are fine, what I objected to was the passing of judgment because she had a failed marriage and a couple of previous relationships. The judgment being she has poor character and lacks proper judgment.

I think that's wrong. We all can make mistakes, what's important is that we learn and grow from them.

And also, sometimes people don't show their true colors until well into the relationship.

I'm curious how some of you would categorize men had the roles been reversed or do you believe it is only women who lack proper judgment and make unwise choices?

 

[pipeman84]

Id known my first husband 3+ years when we married & we were friends first.

Unless he gets hit by a rock in the head, gets into a car accident, something dramatic like that and he lies in a coma and wakes up a different person, then the story you're painting here (quite fast and huge change in personality after marriage) is not believable. What is much more likely and more plausible is that you saw whatever red flags he had, yet you decided for whatever reason to marry him. And then after the first child and red flags continuing to manifest themselves, you had another 2 kids. So you had the power, control and knowledge (considering your age and life experience up to that point) to stop it very early on (before marriage) or better yet, not get into it at all. That you decided to carry on for 10yrs or how long the marriage lasted, doesn't make you a hero or unicorn.

As to @pipeman84 I was a virgin into my 20s, and I was an LTR girl. Sometimes things don’t work out in a LTR.

I was married. Til death was the idea. I was ALL IN with my first husband. I was helping him through his crisis at the time from a ride or die perspective. That is what you do in a marriage.

LTR, marriage those are just words describing in essence the same thing, a committed relationship. Or do you want to tell me that when you say 'I love you' during romantic moments, in an LTR you say it with half a mouth? So if one relationship (LTR) fails, it's not surprising that another relationship (marriage) follows suit.

 

[BeExcellent]

Unless he gets hit by a rock in the head, gets into a car accident, something dramatic like that and he lies in a coma and wakes up a different person, then the story you're painting here (quite fast and huge change in personality after marriage) is not believable. What is much more likely and more plausible is that you saw whatever red flags he had, yet you decided for whatever reason to marry him. And then after the first child and red flags continuing to manifest themselves, you had another 2 kids. So you had the power, control and knowledge (considering your age and life experience up to that point) to stop it very early on (before marriage) or better yet, not get into it at all. That you decided to carry on for 10yrs or how long the marriage lasted, doesn't make you a hero or unicorn.


LTR, marriage those are just words describing in essence the same thing, a committed relationship. Or do you want to tell me that when you say 'I love you' during romantic moments, in an LTR you say it with half a mouth? So if one relationship (LTR) fails, it's not surprising that another relationship (marriage) follows suit.

Your assumptions are wrong. I was there, you were not.

LTR is not the same as marriage. I have never lived with a man, for example, until I was married to (in the first case), or engaged (and now married) to in the second case.

As I have said to others before, your beliefs, projections and assumptions are just that. They have zero bearing on my reality, past or current.

 

[pipeman84]

Your assumptions are wrong. I was there, you were not.

LTR is not the same as marriage. I have never lived with a man, for example, until I was married to (in the first case), or engaged (and now married) to in the second case.

Well, that you were with that guy for 5 years and in that time you had plenty romantic, tender moments, those are facts, not assumptions. And that's what makes a relationship, be it under whatever name you want to call it. It's like with a car, once you start driving it you can call the road motorway, highway, interstate, whatever ... the bottom line is that the car accumulates mileage and wear and tear. And that's why a woman with past relationship history can't be considered an unicorn, just like a car with 100k miles on it is not a brand new car.

I'm not writing these posts to judge you, it's your life, how you've lived it and will continue to live, it's none of my business. The idea behind them is that when assessing an unicorn, it's the facts that matter, not the stories.

 

[member162951]

If we are harsh to men for being puzzies, we gotta be harsh to women as well

Completely agree. My response was mostly to @pipeman84 and while I agree with much of what he posts, I don't agree with his mindset here, blaming all relationship problems on women and their inability to choose wisely and exercise proper judgment.

The world doesn't operate in absolutes, relationships, human interactions are complex and nuanced.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

What I do not understand is the abuse you guys subject a well-known, long-term poster like @BeExcellent to.

I understand that she comes off as arrogant to many, as many of us men do, but if you read her posts over the years, she does provide (to those who have the intellectual capacity) meaningful insights. It’s rare for most of us to come across a woman who is so self-assured.

Many posters attacked @catsmeow (who is now gone) as well - it’s not that they treated these two women “the same way we treat men”; many of you were openly hostile to anything they posted.

I called them out when something they stated seemed inappropriate to me.

Gentlemen, take a step back and ponder: would the forum be better or worse without the Old Lady? I vote that her persistence and longevity, in the light of myriad ad hominem attacks, prove her sincerity when posting.

 

[pipeman84]

Completely agree. My response was mostly to @pipeman84 and while I agree with much of what he posts, I don't agree with his mindset here, blaming all relationship problems on women and their inability to choose wisely and exercise proper judgment.

The world doesn't operate in absolutes, relationships, human interactions are complex and nuanced.

Questions are fine, what I objected to was the passing of judgment because she had a failed marriage and a couple of previous relationships. The judgment being she has poor character and lacks proper judgment.

I think that's wrong. We all can make mistakes, what's important is that we learn and grow from them.

And also, sometimes people don't show their true colors until well into the relationship.

I'm curious how some of you would categorize men had the roles been reversed or do you believe it is only women who lack proper judgment and make unwise choices?

My comments: 1. I'm expressing my opinions based on the facts she presented. That I don't agree with the interpretations she gives them doesn't mean I'm judging her .
2. Indeed, as humans we all make mistakes. The thing is that male-female dynamics, man being the leader, suggest that the man should be the experienced one, the one who benefits from having made mistakes and learned from them. The woman is appreciated for her purity. In other words, what is an asset for a man, is considered a liability for the woman (an example of polarity).
3. We can't use the same yardstick for men and women to categorise 'bad choices': for instance, when you look at a failed 3yrs relationship. The woman has lost the unicorn status. Period. The guy can say it was just a relationship, he didn't really love her hence didn't marry her (that would be an official love/commitment declaration), was in it for sex. It's the woman's duty to screen the guy before sexual relationship happens (due to both emotional and physical consequences - pregnancy - which is hardwired in women).

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

We all having debates here and challenging everything grandpa LOL. I just fid hard to believe that she stayed with that boogieman for 20 years giving him two more children, even her parents didn't say anything to her?

I stayed in a marriage well past its expiration date to my detriment to provide a stable environment for my children. Many men do just that, as do women. I also impregnated my wife the second time, knowing that we were always the happiest when we were expecting a child; I, too, hoped another bundle of joy would strengthen our bond, alas it did not.

It's something you could not possibly comprehend not being a parent. It's also something a man who has not been married for the right reasons would not be capable of understanding.

p.s. "you opened your legs" Dude are you in high school? like that's going to offend her? Seriously. Like cut back on the Tren brah.

 

[Bigpapa]

Id take anything the old lady says with a grain of salt as well, most of the time its wishful thinking and nonsense. Its no different then taking advice from an Onlyfans girl in her 40s = both damaged People, that will be surrounded by damage People and might even marry a damaged Person, which explains it here as well and there is nothing they can do about. No amount of therapy or support will help them through it, its basic natural selection.

To be fair, some People here have no problem to point out how damaged woman are, but in reallity most Men here are as much as damaged as woman are in their 30s and single and no Men wanting them. Men who are divorced or single in their 40s, 50s and more are Damaged People, yes in majority of the cases they are damaged as much as the woman and in most of the posts, I can actually see why it is the case.

men get jaded just as women

I would say that it is even more accentuated for men if getting a new woman is a complicated matter, as besides the normal frustration of dealing with women you also get the frustration of getting a new woman into your bed

in all fairness, I have no idea what can be done about the first type of frustration, as dealing with women is not something easy

actually the more you like a girl the more you are exposed to this and the high and lows feel stronger

my 2 cents are that humans are not built for this type of lifestyle where you go through more than a couple of partners till you settle down, and that is why both sexes get jaded

even our ancestors, they did not really have a lot of sexual partners up until the big cities were built and populated

 

[BeExcellent]

Unless he gets hit by a rock in the head, gets into a car accident, something dramatic like that and he lies in a coma and wakes up a different person, then the story you're painting here (quite fast and huge change in personality after marriage) is not believable. What is much more likely and more plausible is that you saw whatever red flags he had, yet you decided for whatever reason to marry him. And then after the first child and red flags continuing to manifest themselves, you had another 2 kids. So you had the power, control and knowledge (considering your age and life experience up to that point) to stop it very early on (before marriage) or better yet, not get into it at all. That you decided to carry on for 10yrs or how long the marriage lasted, doesn't make you a hero or unicorn.


LTR, marriage those are just words describing in essence the same thing, a committed relationship. Or do you want to tell me that when you say 'I love you' during romantic moments, in an LTR you say it with half a mouth? So if one relationship (LTR) fails, it's not surprising that another relationship (marriage) follows suit.

He lost his business (major life stress in and of itself) and in that was betrayed by his best friend since 10 years of age. His identity was entirely tied up in his business. So yeah. But you wouldn’t have the foggiest idea what that is like.

Any therapist would tell you that is a major life event trauma.

And anyone can see the best course of action 25 years later when all the facts and contributions have become known.

It’s the knowing in real time that’s the trick my dear.

In your arrogance you can’t see your own flaws.

 

[Bigpapa]

He lost his business (major life stress in and of itself) and in that was betrayed by his best friend since 10 years of age. His identity was entirely tied up in his business. So yeah. But you wouldn’t have the foggiest idea what that is like.

Any therapist would tell you that is a major life event trauma.

And anyone can see the best course of action 25 years later when all the facts and contributions have become known.

It’s the knowing in real time that’s the trick my dear.

In your arrogance you can’t see your own flaws.

yes, good point of view

in all fairness, it is a shock also when you really like a girl and you mess it up for some stupid reason

imagine now being betrayed by your best friend that you know since you were 10

if you also loose another thing that you really cared for, the business

then for sure it feels like super sh1t getting this combo

even each one alone is enough to take out for a decent amount ( at least ) of time someone emotionally

my father also lost his business in the 2008 crisis and never really recovered

people that do not go through traumatic events never really understand how it feels being hit in the face properly

 

[Bigpapa]

I had two businesses each for 2 years and failed them, I promised myself never to be dependent on others and work for them, but I kept doing and worked on my businesses and now have a successful Business where Im surrounded by successful and great People. If it fails, which wont happen, Id keep doing and working on a new business.

Depends on the business

one thing is to have a business that offers you a decent living, and a totally different thing is owning a big business

because owning a big business means that you have enough money to have a premium / luxury life

which makes even shocking when you lose the business because you lose also your extravagant lifestyle

it is a double shock, business + lifestyle

no offense, but if you do not understand this it means that you never had money to begin with so dunno how relevant is your point of view here


in regards to the authenticity of the story, I have no idea if it is true or not… but for sure we all can agree that if the story is true it is really a sad one

 

[BeExcellent]

For @DonBig : I’ve never seen nor heard of that series, lol. People have long been fascinated by nightclubs and the whole mystique they entail. The reality is not so glamorous. I don’t care whether you believe me or not. Here’s what’s funny. I’ve been here since 2015. My story and my content is completely consistent in my entire tenure here. Hard to keep a consistent line of BS going. Much easier if it’s actually the truth because the truth doesn’t change (shrugs).

My guess is that show has not been around since 2015. For all I know they took the premise for the show from my story here, lol.

Read my posts. There’s several thousand of them. I don’t need to make stuff up. My life honestly has been pretty interesting and blessed.

If I told you the club and the city, some here have been there.

Similar to Viper Room in LA or Studio54 in NYC it was THE place to go for the beautiful people, the athletes, the famous etc., so yeah lots of status and his identity was tied up in that. The best friend was the partner who did him dirty. He never recovered. Not sure he ever will. Even though I put the family on my back financially he felt emasculated everywhere we went because he went from being THE MAN to being snickered at in social circles. He was embarrassed that his wife had to support him and the family. We moved away as a result. Eventually he turned to the drinking to escape that feeling of failure, but he also never dealt with the depression that came as a result. Very sad.

 

[BeExcellent]

Just wait until you read that she married a 6'4" athlete, making six figs, who has no children and who's 14 years younger than her. Fascinating.

He’s only 8 years younger and only 6’3”. The rest is true (and he’s gorgeous and very smart, lol). You guys kill me.

 

[Bigpapa]

I make 400k the year 100k for my parents and im living by the 300k

Good for you, but after taxes you remain with way less. Difficult to withdraw money from the company without paying taxes

depending on where you live ( how big the city is ) it can be a lot of money or just barely for a comfortable life

300-400k even in New York is a really good income to have, but you do not pass the premium lifestyle with that amount. Same with London or any other big city

200k in nyc is enough to live a decent life, not a lot of money for extravagant stuff remains

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I'm actually cruising now, but still true, nobody forced her. I guess its hard to remove the simping once it's ingrained.

Dude, take down your simping video with your single mom, older girlfriend, and the drone on your island vacation you didn't pay for (yeah, right) with cutesy music and chit before I post it here. People in glass houses should not throw stones, Pedrito. You sure talk a lot of smack for a 5'6" guy still wet behind his ears. Remember that the Internet is forever, also remember that you drew first blood.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

At least I have the vasectomy and can't get any woman pregnant

And humanity thanks you for that. Although your HPTA is jacked enough now you're most likely sterile.

What do you think of the pic? Getting ready for the beach!!!

You're looking strong bro. Tren hard and eat Clen.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I told you Tren made me lethargic and had to stop it 5 weeks, don't mention it again, it would have been great but I couldn't deal with it, now you're hurting my feelings.

Trenbolone, boldenone, nandrolone, a-bombs it's all the same, and that's a stock phrase used to joke about PEDs, Pedrito.

Still love ya tho.

p.s. you start working on your lats yet?

 

[BeExcellent]

Of course, thanks. My family and myself own various properties, the first thing you do if you have the right amount of money is to buy property and provide rental. You need a Passiv income, everyone should have the goal to generate Passive income in their long term to do list.

The 400k are only company based and if you count all the passive income as well, I believe I don’t need to say much here.
Im prepared for the worst, Im not stupid like most People with their money. Even if I lose my business I still have income flooding in my bank

I did income property as well. It’s been a great thing.