I think a smaller percentage of physicians are very successful with women. The majority of physicians appear to be married beta males.
most my doctor friends are just stuck in **** relationships or just take what apps give them-
You may be more well connected with physicians than I am. When I think about the physicians and dentists that I know, I've mainly interacted with physicians and dentists that are married males and typically beta. There are still plenty of older doctors (45+) out there that are married men and have been married for 20+ years.
Another common thing that happens is that doctors end up in relationships with nurses/medical assistants that they meet on the job or through their job (professional networks). It typically works something like this. A doctor gets married to someone he met earlier in life (before med school graduation) and that marriage is on the rocks or the divorce has already happened. He'll end up with some nurse/medical assistant that's either never married or her own marriage has faltered. The doctor and the nurse end up together.
A similar thing can happen in dentistry as well. A dentist sees their pre-dental school graduation relationship falter and ends up with a dental assistant/dental hygienist he meets on the job or through the job. He has status with them.
Most doctors/dentists do not have a lot of free time. Approaching strangers in general is inefficient and you're not likely to see a never married younger (under 40) doctor or dentist going and doing daygame sessions at a mall or outdoor walking path/park on a weekend. Some dentists are also practice operators who are also involved in the business operations of the dental practice. That takes up time when they aren't seeing patients. Doctors and dentists might swipe on apps or occasionally go to bars but they aren't going to have as much time for approaching new people or even swiping a bunch as some people in other professions.
Doctors and dentists can rely on money/status a bit and that might help them on the first dates that they arrange. They aren't going to spend as much time prospecting for those first dates as some others. That's true for both the younger, never married doctors/dentists and the middle aged + divorced doctors/dentists.
Doctors and dentists do tend to have their lives more in order than a lot of men who have more free time to do pickup related activities though.
the Most successful wingmen I met had status and were interesting but they weren’t egotistical enough to let rejection get the better of them- they were still proactive and still worked hard to make new social connections whilst having good status/ value.
That's a good combination.
most men fail because they have one but not the other. Med students spend their life around screens hustling then are too tired to go out and meet people or they see pua as a scam and never even think about it so they get entrapped in a ****ty relationship or whatever the bumble gods give them
Blue collar men, service sector men, and white collar men with less demanding roles can be well positioned for success. It comes down to their looks and attitudes.
I agree that most men don't have both money/status and the proactivity with their free time to make the right social connections. Doctors, dentists, scientists, engineers, and a lot of middle management + business types have the money/status but lack the proactivity in their free time. Blue collar and service sector men have the proactivity with their free time but often lack money/status.
I did some daygame. Got me nowhere
I'm not surprised in the slightest to read that.
Daygame (non-bar approaching) is quite inefficient even for a man with fewer obstacles than you have.
The best non-bar approachers are tall (6'0"+), fit/muscular, and have strong social skills.
Tall and fit/muscular matters most in non-bar approaching but strong social skills matter more in non-bar approaching than they do in certain other venues. In non-bar approaching, a 5'9"-5'11" guy can stand out more on his personality than he would stand out in a tech-based method. Most average height, middle of the bell curve on fitness guys will do better with non-bar approaching than on the apps. They can use their personalities to some degree to offset the lack of height.
The main difference between non-bar approaching and swipe apps is that the rejection is in real time. On swipe apps, the rejections are virtual and you don't ever see them. In non-bar approaching, the rejections happen either softly (a conversation fizzles out in less than 30 seconds) or harshly (you get a direct rejection).
Both non-bar approaching and swipe apps are inefficient and often ineffective. With the swipe apps, you're taking rejections while sitting at home doing nothing and not dressed. For non-bar approaching, you have to go out into the real world, make yourself presentable, and then do the approaches in some way.
I got into the PUA community because I had a difficult time picking up chicks.
PUA did not help, other than help give me confidence to talk to women I was a total stranger to - now I talk to such women but still ultimately get rejected.
You had a difficult time picking up women mainly due to being 5'5". Had you been 6'1", you would have had one fewer obstacle. Another major obstacle that you had is that you are a STEM worker with middling at best social skills. STEM workers rarely have a lot of charisma. Being short and lacking charisma hurts a lot. You would have to be incredibly fit (10-12% body fat, good muscle definition) to offset being a 5'5" man who is a STEM worker or a STEM worker with a very high income/net worth.
Part of the reason that you were able to develop the skill of talking to women is that you grew up in the 1980s before screen time really took over. STEM guys whose formative years were in the late 1990s or later are far more tech dependent than you were growing up. You were fortunate to grow up in a far more analog world.
5'5" and STEM background makes things very difficult. While you made personality improvements with confidence and other attributes, it wasn't going to be enough.
PUA tactics do fail for a lot of men, even men who have fewer obstacles than you've had.