What the blackpill gets wrong. Hypergamy isnt as bad as we think.

[Zimbabwe]

mainly do drinks dates early stages but even that sets up the transactional expectations. It stinks to get ghosted after a drinks date not resulting in sex

Lately I've just been doing activity dates, I always wanted to try rock climbing so I took this Cypriot girl with me there on a date.

Took her to the movies to see the new top gun as well, any new activities I want to do I will just take a date along from now on.

I'm personally not a big fan of drinking or even coffee all that much.

 

[SW15]

Lately I've just been doing activity dates, I always wanted to try rock climbing so I took this Cypriot girl with me there on a date.

Took her to the movies to see the new top gun as well, any new activities I want to do I will just take a date along from now on.

Movie dates in theaters are a terrible idea in the early stages. I thought every man knew that by now and they were discredited decades ago. Established couples do that shiit.

I'm not entirely opposed to activity dates for a first date or second date. For a first date, I'd have to find a common, enjoyable activity in a 5-10 minute conversation. That answer doesn't typically reveal itself in a conversation on an initial approach. It's much more possible for a second date.

It's very difficult to cut bars out of the seduction process entirely. You'll either need them for the initial approach or as a 1st-2nd date hosting venue.

 

[Focal core]

Tinder is a free brothel for women, who wont go to a free brothel with opposites sexes ranging from 7 to 10 ? Most women will . that's why blackpill were more relevant than ever!!, sub 5 women spinning chad like no man would dream of spinning stacy .. Thats why approaching women in real life is futile unless you're 7 and above.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Tinder is a free brothel for women, who wont go to a free brothel with opposites sexes ranging from 7 to 10 ? Most women will . that's why blackpill were more relevant than ever!!, sub 5 women spinning chad like no man would dream of spinning stacy .. Thats why approaching women in real life is futile unless you're 7 and above.

And unless you're at least an 8, there's no point in using dating apps, to be honest. Most men are fecked either way. It's no coincidence simps and betas are so prevalent nowadays. It's a direct result of women, collectively being more shallow, "empowered", particular, haughty, and selective than they've ever been. The irony is even though they're far more outwardly slooty and promiscuous than ever, their standards have only gone up, and their dating pools have condensed. They're fecking more than ever, but only a smaller, more select # of guys. This development has essentially destroyed the entire dating/intimacy dynamic between men and women.

 

[Focal core]

Trust me, 10,000 approached is only a warming up bro - redpill coaches

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Guys. Before you have any interaction whatsoever with women or a woman in particular you need to look in the mirror and check your core belief system.

@Pan87 has a core belief system that ALL women are transactional in relationships and that a eugenics exercise is being promulgated upon society by the elite. Translation: Pan feels powerless in society and unable to control his own destiny and feels used by women so he may as well use the ones he can for his own ends. He has lost faith in humanity and developed a nihilistic view.

I appreciate that and can see that viewpoint. But it is a low value viewpoint lacking personal empowerment. It colors most everything he says here. His content consistently is shaded by that core belief system. As a result his interactions are disappointing to him and he finds all interactions transactional because that is his filter. The reader needs to grasp this.

Similarly but differently @SW15 has a core belief system that all relationships have a shelf life and that sexual passion dies out in all relationships. He has expressly stated that core belief many times here. Again, content tells you consistently who he is and what he believes. He has issues arising from family of origin pain and does not believe long term (like decades or happy marriage) exists. He is not as nihilistic as Pan but he too experiences disappointment in his interactions. He experiences life through the filter of his core beliefs too.

Guys like OP and @DonJuanjr are not terribly successful with women but are still young and trying to figure out their own core belief systems.

Gentlemen. You must be mindful who and what you allow to influence you. If you listen to bitter or disappointed men you risk adopting belief systems that will become self fulfilling prophecies. Is bitter and disappointment what you seek? Then do not listen to bitter & disappointed people.

No. This is not the feminine imperative talking.

This is a positive attitude person with a rational mind who is seeing great results according to my core belief system which is rooted in self-improvement, self-actualization, kindness, generosity and a red pill (to use the vernacular) awareness of human nature, social contracts (which certainly exist) and belief in life partnership, intimacy and love.

And guess what. My fiancé shares to a great degree my core belief system!

Water seeks its own level. Your subconscious is going to screen for compatability in core beliefs. If you think all relationships are transactional (for example) you are actively screening for and inviting that energy into your life. So be mindful what core beliefs you allow to take root because your experiences will often follow that belief system.

Until an individual grasps this truth you will bump along in life disappointed and not really know why.

As to your question @DonJuanjr I understand the social contracts and contexts in dating. I also know men need to invest to feel a bond (so too do women) so I screen for the core belief system being positive and I screen for investment (of time, emotion, sex, money). Now. I only date men for whom I have high interest (otherwise known as sexual desire). I will not waste a man’s time or my time on someone I’ve no interest in. I can buy my own supper.

I do not seek resources or provisioning and I do not look for a monetary transactional exchange. I seek investment in a much broader sense and I tacitly understand and choose men in whom I see the potential to invest in as well. So in the social contract sense all relationships are transactional. Even parent-child and soldier-soldier. But that is much deeper and broader than what Pan routinely describes. Strait up dinner for sex is different than Band of Brothers.

Think on that. Be careful who you allow to influence your thinking.

 

[BeExcellent]

One more thought.

When you look in the mirror take an honest inventory of what you bring to the sexual marketplace which like any marketplace operates on supply/demand principles.

Chads and Victoria’s Secret models have the most demand and are in exceedingly short supply. So those options are expensive and require equanimity of value to be accessible to someone.

That is why a fugly girl will not end up with a Chad same as an incel will not end up with a lingerie model.

Your attitude and beliefs can positively impact your value in the SMP (sexual marketplace) but you also need to be objectively aware (in a broader sense) of your value to capitalize on your opportunities and/or understand your lack thereof.

The exchange of initial value is different than the ensuing interaction. Wanted to point that out for discussion sake.

 

[GhostApe]

The ratio isn't the issue.

Agreed. Male thirst is what drives the issue, to begin with. Sperm is cheaper than egg, and there's little that's going to change that.

Even many good looking guys have no fvcking self-respect and throw themselves at women for less than free.

This even happens in real life, when men 'date down' because it's comparatively less hassle and effort to pick up women who are less attractive - to say nothing of how narcissistic and picky social media and OLD have made women in general, making it all difficult, for everyone.

What the black pill gets wrong is about everything having to do with the true causes for the way things are. Black pill losers blame women, but it's men's damn fault for making the market the way it is and making it WAAAY too easy for women.

This is why I can gel with red-pilled philosophy and not black pill. RP philosophy acknowledges that it's not just women being hypergamous and oh, not, victimization - it's actually acknowledging all the roots of the problem. Red pill demands that its adherents be self-critical while black-pilled philosophy is just victimhood, depression and navel-gazing. Learned helplessness. Abject.

 

[SW15]

@SW15 has a core belief system that all relationships have a shelf life and that sexual passion dies out in all relationships. He has expressly stated that core belief many times here. Again, content tells you consistently who he is and what he believes. He has issues arising from family of origin pain and does not believe long term (like decades or happy marriage) exists. He is not as nihilistic as Pan but he too experiences disappointment in his interactions. He experiences life through the filter of his core beliefs too.

I like to think I am more red pill than black pill.

This is an accurate representation of my viewpoint. Yes, I believe that romantic relationships have a shelf life. There was family of origin pain. I have resolved those issues through a difficult process.

The best evidence of the shelf life of goodness of romantic relationships is a divorce. Divorce is rampant. The probability of a divorce occurring over a 40 year period (the likely evaluation period for marrying couples 35 and under) in any marriage is quite high.

When a divorce is filed for, the shelf life of goodness ended a long time ago. The divorce is simply the final step of putting a relationship that effectively ended often years earlier out of its misery.

My parents had a subpar romantic relationship that lasted far longer than it should have lasted. I can’t think of 2 more ill fitting people who lasted as long as they did. They lasted 20+ years. Since I am only 39, I don’t know any 20 year long couples yet but I do know some ill fitting couples coming up on 10 years.

In the United States, the norm is to think of married couples & their duration from the time of marriage, discounting their relational time pre-marriage. I think of couples from the very beginning.

There is a lot of evidence that sexual passion dies over time. I don’t want to stick around a relationship long enough for that to occur.

@Pan87 — I 100% agree on female solipsism.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Guys like OP and @DonJuanjr are not terribly successful with women but are still young and trying to figure out their own core belief systems.

I guess this makes me pathetic since, my shown age is real.... Maybe I do have the mindset or more correctly lack of experience like a mid-twenties guy.

As to your question @DonJuanjr I understand the social contracts and contexts in dating. I also know men need to invest to feel a bond (so too do women) so I screen for the core belief system being positive and I screen for investment (of time, emotion, sex, money). Now. I only date men for whom I have high interest (otherwise known as sexual desire). I will not waste a man’s time or my time on someone I’ve no interest in. I can buy my own supper.

So what I gain from this comment and your previous comment of "If he doesn't offer to pay, It leaves me unimpressed" translates to is, if a guy doesn't offer to pay, then you lose attraction, because you don't feel like he's interested in bonding to you due to the lack of interest in financial investment. Either way a guy not offering to pay lowers your attraction towards him. Which is what I proposed to pan.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Paying for women’s food after you’re banging her is fine. Not before.

I won't take women on food dates before sex. Though one still has to pay for drinks or coffee. You proposed "paying for this doesn't create attraction". I retorted by saying "does it kill it though?" She's showing that not even offering to pay for drinks/coffee can kill attraction regardless of the reason. I'll take the financial hits, until I can suss out if the interaction will lead to sex. If I sense that it won't I'll just pay for my half of the drinks/coffee bill and end the date.

@derby1 recently stated how he shelled out close to $300 on a couple dates over the course of a week, that didn't lead to sex. I don't have that kind of money to consistently do that. Yet I still have the desire for sex.

 

[SW15]

I won't take women on food dates before sex. Though one still has to pay for drinks or coffee.

I'll take the financial hits, until I can suss out if the interaction will lead to sex.

@derby1 recently stated how he shelled out close to $300 on a couple dates over the course of a week, that didn't lead to sex. I don't have that kind of money to consistently do that. Yet I still have the desire for sex.

I stopped doing dinner dates in restaurants prior to sex about a decade ago when I first got into the Manosphere. I would like to know how to ask a woman out to a bar for alcoholic drinks & not foot the entire bill.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Bravo! Yes! No food before sex! (But don’t tell BeExcellent. Girl’s gotta eat).

Paying for a coffee is fine, and it’s a good excuse to lure her into a park. I always get take away coffees and suggest a walk. It’s on the walk you identify, via clever signals reading, whether attraction is there. If it’s there you move to sex via the usual methods of escalation. Easy. All you need are balls and a clear mind.

Here’s the thing about money and women. If you give your money to her too easily she thinks you’re an idiot.

Being careful about paying for women is absolutely not about being tight with money. It’s about engendering respect from women. You reward her with generosity for her compliance. You’re training her.

Though if one has bad game, then they will not get the opportunity to escalate they otherwise might. So if I stick to trying to game higher value women only, then I'll go broke by paying for a million drinks/coffees when I strike out constantly, and then take myself out of the game, due to not being able to afford it.

For all those that say, "just make more money bro"... Life isn't that black and white, otherwise everyone would be a millionaire. Maybe in nerd computer engineering jobs, one can get away with that, but if one doesn't have interest in that field, they won't be successful.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I would like to know how to ask a woman out to a bar for alcoholic drinks & not foot the entire bill.

So would I.

 

[member160292]

So would I.

Just tell them you'll take care of it and she picks up the tab on the next venue

 

[DonJuanjr]

Just tell them you'll take care of it and she picks up the tab on the next venue

Then she declines going to the next venue.. "It's getting late, I better get home".

 

[member160292]

Then she declines going to the next venue.. "It's getting late, I better get home".

Good, no need to pursue further.

Setup the date to reserve 3-4 hours. My most successful ones are on the weekends. 4PM start.

 

[DonJuanjr]

If “one has bad game” then what makes you think he’s entitled to sex?

You have to stop supporting sh1t men and their entitlement to sex too. If you’re a sh1t guy, like your old mate Sarge, then you really don’t deserve sex.

So, “what about the guys without game?” - fvck em. This isn’t a charity. Man has a burden to either perform or die. It’s always been that way.

How the fvck is someone going to get better at it then? What is the purpose of this site for? A big circle jerk of "Alphas" parading over lowly betas? Please.....

It's not going to stop me from trying, and I'm going to go about it in a way that allows me to consistently do it. If I have bad game, then I should just be a pathetic sex doll fvcker then?

You're just trying to do what you claim to despise of the "elite global Alphas" and keep those you perceive as lower than you from rising.

 

[SW15]

2 strong drinks is not expensive. Foot the bill and don’t even mention it.

Is that 2 drinks per person or 2 drinks total (1 per person)?

Either way, if the first date doesn’t result in sex and there’s no second date, the money is wasted. If you have 10 failed first dates like that without getting laid, that would be problematic. Lots of wasted $ & no sex.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I swear some of you guys are fvcking dense. @SW15 states it's more common than not for "one date, no second date, no sex". You guys talk as if you take a chick on one date, you're going to get pusssy automatically. For those who are not in a position to burn money, they need to figure out a way to set themselves up for success. You can have a date lined up every damn night, that's 300-600 a month that some guys might not be able to swing. And still not get success.