Hmmm. I’m going to be straight up here. If a man lacks social calibration then that is going to affect his social interactions with women.
Social attenuation is MORE important than looks. You can be physically attractive and yet socially awkward. Now. For whatever reason people seem to have this expectation that a handsome man couldn’t possibly be awkward or socially uncalibrated but I’m here to tell you that absolutely can be the case.
In my twenties I recall two first dates in particular. One with an upcoming attorney, another with an anesthesiologist, a doctor. Both men were brilliant and had solid careers, obviously. Both were fit and dashingly well dressed very handsome men. Neither one could hold a conversation about something other than their careers. I worked the first 6 years of my career doing anesthesia research at a major medical center and my parents were both lawyers, so I was well informed and conversant in what these men did for a living…
But beyond that? Both interactions were memorably awkward. I was relieved to have each of those dates end, and interestingly both were drinks dates, not dinner dates.
One problem with drinks dates is that if you don’t do well at small talk & the exchange that needs to happen in a conversation, you suffer because there isn’t something to do besides chat. With an activity date, and even a dinner date there is something to do besides chat, and that is the activity or eating your meal (which also creates a neutral topic to chat about).
Drinks dates are easy for socially well calibrated people but challenging for socially awkward people.
If a man struggles socially that is the single most important issue that he must solve. If women cannot relate to you it will adversely effect your results. Period.
Both the dates I mentioned above were disasters and as they went on I wanted to be outta there.
That is the single biggest thing some of the guys here need to overcome. It can be paralyzingly scary. Telling men who struggle to hold a conversation with a woman to escalate and **** the ****ens out of her is like telling an Englishman that all the answers he needs are in this Mandarin Chinese book! Just read it!! If the man doesn’t understand Chinese he can’t read the information and so he cannot apply the things he needs to do. First he’s got to either learn Chinese or hire a translator.
Seems to me that is what is going on here with some posters. Believe me, I can help a man pull women. I’ve done that with great success for years. But if a man can’t even talk to people without seeming weird?
You gotta get out there and socialize to learn how. No matter now introverted or awkward you might be or feel. That is the first and biggest hurdle.
And if it doesn’t come naturally? You must do it. Learn by doing.
