What the blackpill gets wrong. Hypergamy isnt as bad as we think.

[Mike32ct]

Yes...WOMEN ARW SUBTLE. But I'm by nature an observant people watcher...the point of and IOIs is that a woman wants your attention, she just isn't going to/doesn't have to approach. The point, she WANTA you to see the choosing sings. If I'm looking for them and don't see them...guess what? It doesn't mean women are being subtle, it means they're looking elesewhere.

Introverts can be extremely good at reading body language and IOIs. But I agree with you that having the ability to read IOIs and actually receiving IOIs are two different ballgames.

 

[thelambofdeth]

I was celibate for 12 years. I've been rejected around 45 times in the last year and a half. Approach anxiety becomes greatly reduced(or dies) after x amount of rejections. Keep doing it until it does.

AA is reduced if you get success or goodwill from women. Just approaching and getting rejected with nothing to show for it would just make you miserable and give up lol.

Introverts can be extremely good at reading body language and IOIs. But I agree with you that having the ability to read IOIs and actually receiving IOIs are two different ballgames.

That's my point...my prowess at detecting IOIs, choosing singals, interest, and body languahe when other people are receiving them, makes it that much easier to realize I don't get any.

 

[BeExcellent]

My fiancé is an introvert. He is also brilliant as well as extraordinarily observant but does miss social cues at times. It still kind of catches me off guard because it’s in the way his mind filters information rather than the way he appears, and because he is very handsome it’s odd to think he’d miss cues. But he does at times. I end up proofing various communications like texts & emails because he is capable of saying exactly the wrong thing at times. And other times he’s really savvy. He came up in the live music & club scene in LA so he’s had plenty of experience with women but he still pulls something outta left field at times.

 

[corrector]

Dude I've been laughed at by women that I didn't even find attractive. I just approached because they were the last of the day, and I was on an approaching streak. That was actually more beneficial to seeing it as a game than anything.

Where are you approaching?

 

[thelambofdeth]

Dude I've been laughed at by women that I didn't even find attractive. I just approached because they were the last of the day, and I was on an approaching streak. That was actually more beneficial to seeing it as a game than anything.

Point is, you wouldn't have gotten to the point that you would approach women you weren't even interested in, unless you accrued success. It's getting that success initially that's the issue.

 

[Gamisch]

Ummm...try having approach anxiety, being habitually ignored by women and not getting laid for almost two years and tell me if you could equate approaching women to a "game".. If I was some short, fat, really ugly loser who didn't work on himself, or if I couldn't go out and see random, average guys get choosing signs that would be one thing, but neither are true.


You're projecting. Just bc you can't detect iois or you dismiss this...that's not indicative of everyone. Yes...WOMEN ARW SUBTLE. But I'm by nature an observant people watcher...the point of and IOIs is that a woman wants your attention, she just isn't going to/doesn't have to approach. The point, she WANTA you to see the choosing sings. If I'm looking for them and don't see them...guess what? It doesn't mean women are being subtle, it means they're looking elesewhere.

Yeah, if that was applicable to me I would've known years ago. Again, you're projecting. I'm sure if I was a good-looking boxer I'd do well with women. I'm not, so I don't. I just don't understand why you lot don't understand what it's like if you're not really attractive. I know this is hard to believe, but that means those who aren't, are treated different by women lol.

So you are a well dressed , lenny Kravitz looking observant guy (with a sad fave apparently). And there is the problem;

You try to play a feminine game with women. So they beat you at it, 10 outta 10. You're not gonna out- observe a woman..." Oke bff, that dude(@thelambofdeth ) there is good looking but he seems very ' observant ' ,and keeps a eye on everything it seems. He is cute tho. So I gotta be extra subtle."

And if you keep up this attitude it will be someting like:

"That dude is a weirdo. He just keeps looking at us but doesnt say anything. "

like Pan said, you display ,they choose. Display might also mean talking to another woman . Or man. Dancing, whatever. All the (body mind and soul)work is done mid weeks anyway, weekend you just display. Doing nothing is ALSO displaying something. Maybe you married, you think they're ugly, or maybe you are ghey.

And you dont work on yourself. You need therapy asap. Stop wasting your prime. You'll regret this when you reach 60.

By the way, approach anxiety is normal. That's what every hunter needs to keep his senses sharp when needed. Anxiety= tension = thrill = EXCITEMENT. Be your own best friend , the type of homie that would say:"Damn that girl was checking you out man,100, why dont you go say something bro?". ( and than hypothetically Sparta -kicks you in her direction).

Stop whining start shining.

 

[SW15]

The black pill has overtaken the red pill as the primary alternative to the blue pill world.

 

[corrector]

The black pill has overtaken the red pill as the primary alternative to the blue pill world.

Really?

 

[member160292]

Some guys need to take happy pills

 

[thelambofdeth]

So you are a well dressed , lenny Kravitz looking observant guy (with a sad fave apparently). And there is the problem;

You try to play a feminine game with women. So they beat you at it, 10 outta 10. You're not gonna out- observe a woman..." Oke bff, that dude(@thelambofdeth ) there is good looking but he seems very ' observant ' ,and keeps a eye on everything it seems. He is cute tho. So I gotta be extra subtle."

And if you keep up this attitude it will be someting like:

"That dude is a weirdo. He just keeps looking at us but doesnt say anything. "

like Pan said, you display ,they choose. Display might also mean talking to another woman . Or man. Dancing, whatever. All the (body mind and soul)work is done mid weeks anyway, weekend you just display. Doing nothing is ALSO displaying something. Maybe you married, you think they're ugly, or maybe you are ghey.

And you dont work on yourself. You need therapy asap. Stop wasting your prime. You'll regret this when you reach 60.

By the way, approach anxiety is normal. That's what every hunter needs to keep his senses sharp when needed. Anxiety= tension = thrill = EXCITEMENT. Be your own best friend , the type of homie that would say:"Damn that girl was checking you out man,100, why dont you go say something bro?". ( and than hypothetically Sparta -kicks you in her direction).

Stop whining start shining.

I don't think women put that much thought in looking at a random dude, though I will say they do probably think it's weird I don't approach them. I make it a point not to get caught looking at them and I wear shades at night, so I do what I can not to appear to be looking. I WISH I could be assertive. My height and my attire SCREAMS assertive, so I figure that should be enough to get their attention. Is it possible they ironically take my inaction as disinterest? Yes, but that's me screening for signals. But yes, unless I'm able to take action, I will regret my wasted youth, bc with my rbf and aloof demeanor, it won't attract them. YET you're told ALL THE TIME "don't look interested and they'll come to you", and that isn't so in my case. My anxiety is crippling to the point I can't approach unless I get clear signs...which I don't get...

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't think women put that much thought in looking at a random dude, though I will say they do probably think it's weird I don't approach them. I make it a point not to get caught looking at them and I wear shades at night, so I do what I can not to appear to be looking. I WISH I could be assertive. My height and my attire SCREAMS assertive, so I figure that should be enough to get their attention. Is it possible they ironically take my inaction as disinterest? Yes, but that's me screening for signals. But yes, unless I'm able to take action, I will regret my wasted youth, bc with my rbf and aloof demeanor, it won't attract them. YET you're told ALL THE TIME "don't look interested and they'll come to you", and that isn't so in my case. My anxiety is crippling to the point I can't approach unless I get clear signs...which I don't get...

Full stop. Do not wear sunglasses at night. It makes you give off a creepy vibe. I get it, it’s a way of hiding in plain sight but women KNOW you are doing it to gawk on the down low so it makes you stick out in ALL the wrong ways.

Trust me, I’m a chick. Sunglasses at night is straight up shady.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Power through it, get rejected, and it'll subside. There's been times when I approached girls when I was blue pilled, and I'd try to talk to them, and get knots in my throat, start to shake, weak voice, to the point they'd look at me like I'm a serial killer or something. It'll pass.

You're....likely right. It likely is the matter of doing it and normalizing it, but I can't take a shot in the dark. If I got even the slightest of hints a woman was keen and would be reciprocal to an approach, I could do it...but I can't with no goodwill.

Full stop. Do not wear sunglasses at night. It makes you give off a creepy vibe. I get it, it’s a way of hiding in plain sight but women KNOW you are doing it to gawk on the down low so it makes you stick out in ALL the wrong ways.

Trust me, I’m a chick. Sunglasses at night is straight up shady.

They go too well with my attire to omit. They're not just any shades, they're one of a rotation of high fashion glasses that totally top off what I'm wearing. Literally, every time I go out, females compliment my sunglasses. Last Saturday 3 different women complimented them. The issue is they either say it in passing, or while I'm passing them.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Sounds like IOI's to me. Do you think they'd care what glasses the elephant man was wearing?

Lol they're $300-500 SLP or Yohji sunglasses. A fat, leper midget would get compliments with the shades I wear. It's always a compliment, never an actual conversation or flirting. It's less interest, and more them just being nice or admiring a garment I'm wearing. The guy they're ACTUALLY talking to is some frumpy guy in a T shirt and ball cap.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Maybe your aloofness is making them think you're disinterested, so they're going for mr. frumpy give them attention guy? I think garments are like fragrances as far as compliments are concerned. Pretty people get them uggos don't.

You might be right...I naturally come off as aloof and nonchalant af. BUT you hear all the time that looking disinterested is supposed to attract women...If they're just going to the guys more outwardly displaying attention, well...that doesn't make sense.

 

[corrector]

Lol they're $300-500 SLP or Yohji sunglasses. A fat, leper midget would get compliments with the shades I wear. It's always a compliment, never an actual conversation or flirting. It's less interest, and more them just being nice or admiring a garment I'm wearing. The guy they're ACTUALLY talking to is some frumpy guy in a T shirt and ball cap.

It is still a complement. You look at everything. Is she coming into my space? Is she complementing me? Is she playing with her hair? When I used Dial soap with pheromones I would notice these hits. Maybe try pheromones to get more IOIs (from women who go into your pherocloud).

 

[BeExcellent]

They go too well with my attire to omit. They're not just any shades, they're one of a rotation of high fashion glasses that totally top off what I'm wearing. Literally, every time I go out, females compliment my sunglasses. Last Saturday 3 different women complimented them. The issue is they either say it in passing, or while I'm passing them.

Ok cool. In that case find yourself next to these women later in the night. Those must be considered IOIs dear sir.

Now I realize that you can’t stop while filing single file through the artery of a crowded club, done that thousands of times, lol. But you can register who these women are and keep an eye on them for the opportunity to chat later on. If you are tall and have any sort of a commanding presence and are also a sharp dressed dude they will entertain a convo. You just start with something like “How’s your night” or “What’s up” and talk about cool places to go. Keep it brief unless she starts being chatty. Otherwise have a brief exchange and excuse yourself to the men’s room & go circulate. If she gives you a witch face or a sneer or some other witchy with a B rejection response just smile and hold your ground. If you look cool and are tall and you can manage to act relaxed you’ll get warm responses with some frequency.

I agree 1000% with @DonJuanjr. Just do it. Your anxiety is temporary. Once you do it, rejected or not it doesn’t matter. It is the action that will slay the anxiety.

If you are coming off too aloof (this was/is also my fiancé) nobody but you knows it’s anxiety on your part rather than disinterest. They pretty much nearly all flunked mind reading, ya know? So you need to express a little interest as I noted above or you look too cool for everyone. If you are naturally aloof you are not going to appear TOO interested. Just the opposite. So you gotta throw ‘em a bone.

 

[thelambofdeth]

It is still a complement. You look at everything. Is she coming into my space? Is she complementing me? Is she playing with her hair? When I used Dial soap with pheromones I would notice these hits. Maybe try pheromones to get more IOIs (from women who go into your pherocloud).

A girl complimenting your attire is like telling a girl she has nice hair...It means...nothing. It most cases, women don't just approach me and compliment my attire, it's just in passing. Or if I inadvertently occupy their proximity. A girl orbiting around me preening for me to speak to her is different. That's an interest invite. That's quantifiable. Something like THAT is what I don't get... The strong, obvious compliments I get from women are almost always from women there with their bfs. I once had a girl(with her boyfriend) tell me I looked like Lenny Kravitz playing an assassin in a Blade Runner movie lol. Specific af and I only ever get legit compliments like that from taken women.

I wear very niche, hard af to find, and often discontinued cologne. That should supply all the olfactory stimulation possible lol.

Ok cool. In that case find yourself next to these women later in the night. Those must be considered IOIs dear sir.

Now I realize that you can’t stop while filing single file through the artery of a crowded club, done that thousands of times, lol. But you can register who these women are and keep an eye on them for the opportunity to chat later on. If you are tall and have any sort of a commanding presence and are also a sharp dressed dude they will entertain a convo. You just start with something like “How’s your night” or “What’s up” and talk about cool places to go. Keep it brief unless she starts being chatty. Otherwise have a brief exchange and excuse yourself to the men’s room & go circulate. If she gives you a witch face or a sneer or some other witchy with a B rejection response just smile and hold your ground. If you look cool and are tall and you can manage to act relaxed you’ll get warm responses with some frequency.

I agree 1000% with @DonJuanjr. Just do it. Your anxiety is temporary. Once you do it, rejected or not it doesn’t matter. It is the action that will slay the anxiety.

I'm a 6'3 black dude with a manbun wearing shades at night in an all black suit and a Burberry leather jacket...I always have a presence, whether I want to or not lol. (part of the issue is my action don't likely live up to the aura I project) This isn't bad advice, though. But I see how women look interested or inviting for a conversation to other dudes...and that disposition doesn't seem to be directed my way.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Do you compliment girls you're not attracted to?

I don't compliment girls I AM attracted to lol, but I get what you're saying. That said, sometimes girls are just being cordial, nice or friendly, and the last thing I want to be is some dude who thinks a girl is all into them when she's just being polite.

What's your wardrobe look like?

I legitimately have an interest in high fashion...so the only way it could be better is if I was a millionaire. A lot of SLP, Dior, Tom Ford, Burberry, and avant garde brands. Mostly all button-ups up or tunics. Fitted dress pants, or skinny jeans. Only pointed toe, heeled boots, no shoes or sneakers. Lots of blazers, SLP varsity jackets and leather jackets. All monochromatic or the occasional red, silver or gray. A lot of ties, scarves, belts, rings...Very 70s rock star, mob lawyer, or goth high fashion. Tbh most of the Kravitz comparisons come from his style influence on my wardrobe.

 

[thelambofdeth]

I meant your fragrance wardrobe. A fragrance collection is also called a wardrobe(at least on basenotes).

Oh....lol duh. Tuscan Leather, Lava Rose, Bitter Rose; Broken Spear, Fume Me Peau, Hard Leather, Signature Rose, City On Fire, Fahrenheit, Black Afgano, Tyrannosaurs Rex, The Black Knight, Nesnas Qareen, Moon Dust, etc,

 

[thelambofdeth]

Haha... I was going to ask if the Black Afghano, or Fahrenheit was your most polarizing fragrances....Until you mention T-Rex, that's the most polarizing is it not? How do you like the Black Afghano. I'm thinking based on your selection of fragrances, I wouldn't like it. I'm more Amber, spice, warm notes.

My most polarizing is definately T Rex or some of the Ouds I have. Or Salome which sometimes smells like pure BO/piss especially in the heat haha. I prefer Terroni over Afgano. Afgano is pretty overrated imo. Smells like a dirty hippie and not in the good Margiela Music Festival way. I'm a sucker for any hot fragrances with ash, fire, woods, birchtar, smoke, etc. Also leather rose/lavendar or boozy tobaccos. I like amber scents, but I feel like good ones are hard to find bc so many are cloying af and powerdy.