"We have to talk. I'm moving out."

[Bible_Belt]

Someone whose opinion I value highly read all of this and told me "you aren't an AFC. You're an adult."

Honestly, yes I did get played, or it was a "power move," however you want to look at it. She wasn't getting what she wanted and now she is. To tell you the truth I respect her for it. But remember that I'm getting what I want out of her now, too. I got "played" into being happier.

If there is blame to give out, I blame the birth control. That sh!t is the devil to a long term relationship. I bet it causes more divorces and breakups than Facebook/Internet dating.

Everyone is welcome to their own opinions about me or about women in general, but the question to me is, how are you ever going to be happy with a woman if you view them all with such suspicion and lack of trust? I just can't be that way. That mindset is an obstacle, not an asset. I'd rather be a positive person who sees the good in people, including women. Hell, especially in women. I think that's why, for the most part at least, I have always done well with them.

 

[zekko]

Everyone is welcome to their own opinions about me or about women in general, but the question to me is, how are you ever going to be happy with a woman if you view them all with such suspicion and lack of trust?

I don't think I'm as cynical as a lot of the men on here, but the problem is she has already given you reason to be suspicious of her, she left you and rented an apartment behind your back. If you want to keep this woman around, that's your business. But I would advise you to think long and hard before rushing into a huge decision like getting married. A woman should earn that position with good behavior, not cause trouble to panic you into it.

 

[speed dawg]

Someone whose opinion I value highly read all of this and told me "you aren't an AFC. You're an adult."

So, since you're not getting the advice you want, now you're trying to pull the superiority card? We're not qualified now? Not worthy of your respect?

If there is blame to give out, I blame the birth control. That sh!t is the devil to a long term relationship. I bet it causes more divorces and breakups than Facebook/Internet dating.

I can't believe you really typed that.

Everyone is welcome to their own opinions about me or about women in general

I see what you're doing. Trying to frame this in a way that makes us, the anonymous SoSuave posters, look like we're attacking YOU. No, pal. We responded objectively to YOUR post, and your post only. That's literally all we have to go by. We don't know you. At least we don't know you well enough to comment on your character outside what you posted.

I think that's why, for the most part at least, I have always done well with them.

More arrogance?

Look, I'll tell you point blank how I see this situation. I see it as a major case of one-itis combined with your ego. You came to this site for advice, but you won't heed it. I mean, whatever, it's your life. You may be leaving out details. But I think SoSuave has spoken. Take it or leave it.

 

[Burroughs]

So Bible Belt considers *doing well with women* when an 80lb overweight landwhale manipulates him and wraps him around her little sausage fingers.

k..

this is why I'm so quick to call hopeless men faggots....some folks don't have the capacity to better themselves even when insight is provided

 

[Bible_Belt]

why I'm so quick to call hopeless men faggots.

It's because you are one and you hate yourself for it. You're the most obviously latent homosexual on this web site. That's why you have to call everyone a homo and a faggot. It's painfully obvious.

 

[goodganji44]

Bible Belt.

I think Burroughs was trying to give you the "bro you need to snap out of it" proverbial slap in the face you desperately need right now.

Yes you are acting like a faggot. Getting all emotional and sht on the message boards.Now you're trading insults because someone gave you their honest opinion on the situation. You're done for my friend. It's up to you for to realize this and properly begin your healing period.


No matter how much you try to rationalize and justify her actions. Just remember these three words.


SHE

LEFT

YOU

Let that soak in each time you supplicate your time, money and resources and waste your emotions on this woman. I hope you find success with your next one.


Best of wishes my friend.

 

[Burroughs]

Bible

You allowed an 80lbs overweight fat chick who dumped you:crackup: back into your life...

there's really nothing more you could say to embarrass yourself further

but hey keep being a faggot

 

[zekko]

I don't think the name calling adds anything to the discussion.

 

[Tiguere]

OK FIRST OF ALL STOP THE NAME CALLING. THIS IS THE SO CALLED MATURE PART OF THE FORUM.

THIS IS BIBLEBELT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT FOR CHRIST SAKES. not some noob who joined yesterday and is holier than thou.

he is going through a midlife crisis. he is human and the current emotions he is feeling right now ..well...he is entitle to them.

 

[Zarky]

So since the OP got completely checkmated by this chick and his mind is off in la-la land somewhere, the lesson for everyone else is:

What caused this to happen? And how could I prevent it from happening to me?

Something to think about.

My answer would be, as it usually is: always have multiple relationships going at the same time. Imagine what would have happened if OP weren't dependent on his one fat girl for all his social / sexual / psychological needs. And NB: you can't wait until the breakup happens to start dating other chicks and expect that to work. Too late by then, you need multiple established relationships for them to help when you have a crisis with one chick. Also, they tend to prevent these crises from happening in the first place.

The second thing I see is that OP got suckered into depending greatly on her in many other ways... phone, TV, furniture, dogs, etc. etc. etc... all were hers. She knew that withdrawing not only herself but all her stuff would show him how lost he is without her. Brilliant move on her part. I'll give her that.

She basically said, "Look around you, you are nothing without me, and you have nothing without me." He looked around at his empty place and his dwindling Facebook friends list and said, "You know what, you're right."

A move so forceful and which takes so much energy and causes distress to so many people (including families and friends) has one end goal: marriage.

EDIT:

I find it absolutely fascinating the OP originally stated that the chick gained "80 lbs" and then, once he allowed his world to be destroyed by her, changed that to "40 lbs."

Best thread on SS in months. So eye-opening with great lessons taught. Really a good one.

EDIT 2:

The only problem I see with her immense power-move is that she allowed him back in too quickly. This might prove to be the downfall of her plan. For her move to really work, she should have held out longer. Make him grovel, make him really beg. Flowers, more dinners, and within a month an engagement ring. That should have been her play. She buckled too easily, and that fact might save our OP.

 

[speed dawg]

THIS IS BIBLEBELT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT FOR CHRIST SAKES. not some noob who joined yesterday and is holier than thou.

All is good until he starts throwing his ego and superiority complex at us.

he is going through a midlife crisis. he is human and the current emotions he is feeling right now ..well...he is entitle to them.

FVCK that noise.

 

[evan12]

Yes, female AFCs

AFC females try to solve and discuss the issue , and beg some times , but here she rented a place behind him and moved without any previous sign , I dont call this woman AFC she is experienced woman and any way no AFC woman stay single till 37 unless she is very unattractive .

 

[user43770]

Great wisdom in this this thread. Posts like these are the reason I keep browsing this forum. I've learned more in this thread than any in recent memory. Generally these days, every thread is trivial, blatantly self-serving or links to why women suck. Those sh1ts are for the birds.

Sucks that it came at Bible's expense, a poster I respect.

Bible, I agree with the majority here. You're fvcking up.

 

[expos]

I'd say let Bible Belt be. Keep this thread running...and let him update it throughout the next few months so we can all see what happens.

He's a man, 37 years old, and he can make the decisions from here on out.

What I want see, is how much weight his girl is going to lose in the next couple of months. Will she do things to keep Bible Belt around? She needs to change her ways too.

 

[LongLostFriend]

Yeah. I have been in an almost-four-year relationship myself. It's not and never will be unconditional.

 

[Married Buried]

So bible belt is banging her again.... did she suddenly get thin again or something?

 

[Boilermaker]

It's so amusing to watch the worthy, wise, sage "veterans" in this site, get furious over something that has nothing to do with them.

Your capacity to be as narrow-minded as possible amazes me. So if a woman is fat, she can't be loved, made love to, given any compromises, or forgiven.

They lived together for 5 years, day to day, and you want Bible to value your trigger-happy opinions because you found out about all this in 5 minutes and decided on their verdict...

Most of you are immature, and insecure, as one of the smartest and the most stable guys on this site, Bible says : Paranoia is not an asset, it's an obstacle.

This is very true ... A lot of you would be way happier if you let go of this blind hatred.

Bible probably wouldn't be attracted to a fat girl if he saw her walking down the street tomorrow, but this is a girl he was attracted to 5 years ago, who got fat. That dynamic is different, and given the right circumstances a lot of us could have been in that position.

If you can call a guy whom you have respected for years a "faggot", "AFC" , "arrogant" in 7 pages of a newly created thread ..., there's really no hope for most of you in becoming objective individuals.

This is no different than leftist Feminists who always bend the truth their own way...

Cheers,

 

[disgustipated]

I've regarded this thread to be very similar in nature to one I've posted recently. And its interesting referencing replies here to that thread. I must say Boilermaker, you are very consistent and u agree with your assessment.of some fellas here. You were absolutely wrong in my thread about BB's opinion of my situation....but no one is perfect. That thread was the first time I realized here that no matter how much sage advice someone posts here ...you HAVE to question the validity if every single thing someone posts...reputation doesn't guarantee correctness. BB usually posts decent stuff and always gets me to think outside the box....but he was dead wrong on that and it was an eye opener. I had the advantage of knowing the absolute reality of the situation but you don't always have that luxury.

 

[cordoncordon]

It's so amusing to watch the worthy, wise, sage "veterans" in this site, get furious over something that has nothing to do with them.

Your capacity to be as narrow-minded as possible amazes me. So if a woman is fat, she can't be loved, made love to, given any compromises, or forgiven.

They lived together for 5 years, day to day, and you want Bible to value your trigger-happy opinions because you found out about all this in 5 minutes and decided on their verdict...

Most of you are immature, and insecure, as one of the smartest and the most stable guys on this site, Bible says : Paranoia is not an asset, it's an obstacle.

This is very true ... A lot of you would be way happier if you let go of this blind hatred.

Bible probably wouldn't be attracted to a fat girl if he saw her walking down the street tomorrow, but this is a girl he was attracted to 5 years ago, who got fat. That dynamic is different, and given the right circumstances a lot of us could have been in that position.

If you can call a guy whom you have respected for years a "faggot", "AFC" , "arrogant" in 7 pages of a newly created thread ..., there's really no hope for most of you in becoming objective individuals.

This is no different than leftist Feminists who always bend the truth their own way...

Cheers,

Boiler while I understand what you are saying, and as me being a guy who usually always tries to give advice on here that tries to use every means possible to save a LTR that is worth saving-to the point where a few call me a WK, in this case I believe that because BB is a respected poster on here, some are willing to let him slide. To me, that is a dangerous road to go down. And it goes to show that even the wiliest and mature guys on here can slide back into afcdom.


Cut out everything else. The lack of sex. The weight gain. The general boredom with each other. The lack of spark in a relationship. The fact is this girl, who lets be honest here, probably does not have a lot of other great prospects right now, left BB. Broke up with him. Moved to another place without so much as a warning. For the life of me I cannot imagine my fiance doing such a thing, as that is such a huge change and upheaval in lifestyle. So to do something like that imo really shows a lack of love from her to him-to be able to go to that extreme. Now, did he do a lot of things that caused her to become this way? Yes I am sure. It sounds as if BB became lazy, unambitious, content, and to be quite honest about it, immature. That is not a cutdown of BB, but any man his age should be able to survive on his own without relying on a woman. At the very least he should have his own things and be able to pay his own bills.

As I said a few days ago, and as Gordon Gekko said before that, this is your wake up call pal, go to work. This is a golden opp to start over, to give him the incentive to get his life on the right track, and to find someone he REALLY is proud to be with AFTER he gets things going with his own life. And not be with someone just because. BB was left by a girl who I bet 90% of guys on here, a site full of desperate men, probably would not touch. What does that tell you about his standing in society, and in her eyes, right now? Especially if he comes back groveling like a lost puppy dog as it appears he is? She is going to rule him with an iron fist. He is going to be walking on eggshells and it will never work out. They are both wasting each others time here. Instead of spending time and energy on people that do respect BB, he is going to be spending precious time and energy on a person that has shown what her true colors are.

IF this was any regular poster on here, you know exactly what you would be telling him Boiler, to leave and don't look back.

 

[Married Buried]

Yeah. I have been in an almost-four-year relationship myself. It's not and never will be unconditional.

You have to tell them that. My wife has asked me before if she gets fat what will happen. I said "what will happen? Bye bye is what will happen."

They respect you for being honest.