"We have to talk. I'm moving out."

[Tiguere]

Who would have thought mr bible belt would be here showing his AFC SIDE... lol not putting you down since we can never kill our inner afc we can just subdue him to an extent.



You should review your post history biblebelt and follow your own nuggets of wisdom.


Gpod luck

 

[Bokanovsky]

Who would have thought mr bible belt would be here showing his AFC SIDE... lol not putting you down since we can never kill our inner afc we can just subdue him to an extent.



You should review your post history biblebelt and follow your own nuggets of wisdom.


Gpod luck

A good example of the old maxim: "those who teach, can't do"

 

[Bible_Belt]

When my wife and I split up, we had been living apart because I moved back to Illinois. That worked for a year. Then I visited her, we got in a fight, and I called her fat. So she went on an Internet dating spree for the next year. When I found out, I was devastated and begged her not to divorce me. But by that time, she had already been with several other guys, and we had no connection at all. She would turn away when I tried to kiss her, and told me she was no longer attracted to me. She actually said "groveling isn't attractive." Pursuing THAT situation was AFC.

I see everything here as being different. We are still into each other physically; that hasn't been destroyed, like it would have if she had cheated. For the first year we dated, we lived apart and never fought. I would go to her house, shower after mma while she washed my clothes, eat a dinner she cooked, fvck like mad, and then leave. She would always ask me to stay.

Living together was great for the first year, but three years ago when we moved into the place I live in now, money started to get tighter and we seemed to have a long list of new things to fight about. But now all of those things just disappeared. We agreed to try to go back to the way things were when we were dating. She has never given me any indication that she really wants me to leave her alone, and I will if she does, but for now I would just like to spend small amounts of time with her and actually be happy for a change.

 

[Bokanovsky]

When my wife and I split up, we had been living apart because I moved back to Illinois. That worked for a year. Then I visited her, we got in a fight, and I called her fat. So she went on an Internet dating spree for the next year. When I found out, I was devastated and begged her not to divorce me. But by that time, she had already been with several other guys, and we had no connection at all. She would turn away when I tried to kiss her, and told me she was no longer attracted to me. She actually said "groveling isn't attractive." Pursuing THAT situation was AFC.

I see everything here as being different. We are still into each other physically; that hasn't been destroyed, like it would have if she had cheated. For the first year we dated, we lived apart and never fought. I would go to her house, shower after mma while she washed my clothes, eat a dinner she cooked, fvck like mad, and then leave. She would always ask me to stay.

The second scenario is less AFC than the first one but it's still AFC. This woman let herself go, then dumped you to get your attention (instead of working on herself and losing weight). Your response? Make her a candle light dinner and beg to be taken back. Your rationalizations do not change the fact that you have oneitis for a low value woman.

 

[The Duke]

She said she was going to try to fix the fence herself, so I let it go.Doing nice things like fixing her fence are what chumps do. There are probably 5 guys she knows willing to jump at the chance to come fix her fence just so they can be in her presence and continue believing they have a chance with her. Guess what? Those guys never get anywhere because those things mean little to women, especially women you aren't fuhking.

She never even really broke up with me. She just said 'I'm moving out.' I was the one to change my facebook status to single.Women love safety nets and most are branch swingers. She hasn't broken up with you yet because she is uncertain about her future. She has no branch to swing to at the moment. Sooner or later she will tho and you'll be hung out to dry.

she feels like someone who has felt neglected for a long time. She put up that for a long time from her ex-husband, before she finally moved out of state, and then finally cheated on him. See what I just told you in the previous paragraph!!! People that never fix whats wrong about themselves keep repeating the same behaviors.


I had an ex wife(dated for 10yrs, married for 5yrs) tell me she was moving out one time. She wanted me to help her pay for an apartment 30miles away so she could live somewhere else. She wanted me to pay for "our" house in full by myself.

She never wanted to address the issues, but she didn't want to get divorced either. She wanted to use me for her "safety net" and help her pay for her apartment. Previous to her "moving out" announcement she embezzled a bunch of money into an account I didn't know about until the end.

Yeah I was a sad whipped little puppy. I was willing to do about whatever to save our marriage. All the while I was crying my eyes out and feeling beat down like it was all my fault.

For months she denied fuhking somebody else. She looked me in the eye and said "I would never lie to you because I know how bad it would hurt you". Finally after collecting enough evidence against her she finally admitted it 4months later. Fuhking kunt.

I can relate to you bud, been there said and heard the same lines.

A person that does what your girl has done isn't worth keeping. She's also a woman, so don't count on her for telling the truth either. Respect, honor, loyalty mean little to women. When a woman feels she is up against a wall, she will always do whats best for her self and whatever is the least confrontational. They are weak, and weak people do shady things.

 

[zekko]

If she doesn't want and respect you enough to remain loyal to you and stay with you, she isn't worth having, IMO. That's always been my philosophy with women, as a mature adult anyway.

 

[cordoncordon]

When my wife and I split up, we had been living apart because I moved back to Illinois. That worked for a year. Then I visited her, we got in a fight, and I called her fat. So she went on an Internet dating spree for the next year. When I found out, I was devastated and begged her not to divorce me. But by that time, she had already been with several other guys, and we had no connection at all. She would turn away when I tried to kiss her, and told me she was no longer attracted to me. She actually said "groveling isn't attractive." Pursuing THAT situation was AFC.

I see everything here as being different.

You don't see a similarity here? You are doing the same thing with this girl. You obviously have a great great GREAT issue with getting broken up with. Even when you know you should have been doing the breaking up in the first place and you know the relationship is over. Call it a blow to your ego, afraid of being alone, what have you. But the fact is when you get broken up with, you go nuts, start begging the girl back, will not let go, and turn into a raging afc. I bet that if you ever do get back together with this girl, or if you had with your ex wife, things would be ok for a month or two, and then things would go right back to the way they were. Right now you and your gf are getting high on the emotion of this breakup. And you are using that emotion to think that the feelings for each other are still there. They are not.

 

[MikeOck]

Being with her now is much like when we first got together; she feels like someone who has felt neglected for a long time. She put up that for a long time from her ex-husband, before she finally moved out of state, and then finally cheated on him. I was reminding her of her marriage, and it freaked her out. I would rather have had this happen than have her cheat on me to tell me how she felt.

Most women are experts at playing the victim card; Nothing is ever their fault. I bet you thought her ex-husband must have been some horrible douche-bag to neglect such a sweet, sexy woman. Now the shoe is on the other foot and no doubt her friends all deleted you because she is describing you to them exactly like she did with her ex-husband. Of course you aren't perfect, no person is, but don't let yourself be fooled into thinking this is all your fault. She let herself go, gained weight, stopped having sex, didn't cook or clean, and ignored your sacrifices while highlighting hers.

By accepting her treatment of you and possibly taking her back, you are just confirming her one-sided self-serving opinion and taking all of the responsibility. She will be free to never improve herself while you will be expected to constantly try to "make her happy" and "accept her for who she is". This is a no win situation and if you thought maintaining a happy home was difficult while you both shared responsibility, just wait until it is all on you.

 

[speed dawg]

All the posts on this page starting with Bokanovsky have been money. Let's hope Bible Belt listens.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sorry to disappoint the woman-haters, but everything is going well. She has been spending time this week with her mom and family. I just backed off and gave her space. Last night we made plans for tonight. She went to a baseball game with her mom last night and got home late. We both knew she would be tired today. I was expecting to be blown off, but she finally invited me over to her new place for the first time. It's actually not that bad. I was careful not to be critical of the place. I told her she did a good job with it, and she did.

We had the make-up sex evening we needed. And then I left. The leaving part was nice. She was clingy and texting me later to tell her I made it home safe. She said before I left that it felt like we had hit the rewind button and it was 2008 again. That was our dating life - I would go to her house, fvck, and leave. Tonight I'm sure I left her wishing that we lived together, at least for tonight.

She uses the nuva ring for birth control, and she hasn't put it in yet bc she left it in my fridge. I was telling her Tuesday when she was at my house to go off her birth control because it destroyed her sex drive. Tonight was the first night I can remember ever having sex with her without that nuva ring in. It was so_much_better. There's a very pleasant pheromone smell that was never there before. Plus she was wet immediately, instead of having to work at it. Birth control really wreaks havoc on a vagina.

I found an email she sent me a year ago of engagement rings she liked. She likes the man-made diamonds, which are cheap. One of them was $800, which is ridiculously cheap. I have enough car parts and junk sitting around to raise that money within a few days if I wanted. I'm not against the idea of marriage and children any more. When you're both 37 and neither one of you wants anyone else, denying those things to a woman seems kind of silly. I am not in a huge rush to propose, but I am considering it for the first time.

And before I get told that I'm the one getting trapped, remember that she makes all the money. And I have a law degree. I don't foresee it ever happening, but if we divorced with kids, she would be the one getting screwed on child support, not me. In three years, she will make almost as much as a doctor makes, which is plenty to raise a family and fund my wacky business ventures, some of which actually make money on occasion.

She and I are both happier together right now than we have been in a very long time. That's what matters to me, obviously more so than what anyone thinks of me. I don't mean to antagonize the values of this web site or intentionally p!ss anybody off. I just thought I owed you the truth about everything.

 

[Married Buried]

Just tell her the truth. Why dance around it? Your love is conditional. Once she gets fat and the cellulite starts jiggling it's over.

 

[Burroughs]

Some men are only happy as slaves

freedom and living a life of clarity is not for everyone

oh well

betas gonna beta

 

[evan12]

keep us posted Bible_Belt , I want to know how that will end

 

[expos]

Bible Belt I like you a lot. Face it, deep down a lot of us want to get back to exes immediately after breaking up. You build something with someone, invest a lot time with them....there is bound to be some chemistry when your return.

I am guilty of hooking up with a 3 or 4 exes in my lifetime - none of them worked out long term. But I will say that when I split with them the second time, it was LESS PAINFUL. Yes, less painful than the first time we broke up. I think the second break just CONFIRMS that it wasn't right the first time.

I'm not saying that this won't work between you two. You guys ultimately control what happens in the relationship. I'm just worried that not enough time has elapsed for the both of you to make some significant changes in your lives that would positively contribute to the growth of this partnership. The issues are still there, buried beneath all the recent turmoil.

Of course, if you were split up for more than 5 to 6 months, there is a good chance that both of you would have met other people....and the odds of you guys getting back together after having relationships with others is very slim because you've essentially moved on. I know my ex-wife would have jealously issues over the HB8 I've been spending time with if I were ever to return to her. She is admittedly better looking than my ex-wife.

I wish you luck. I do think it's great when people can mend fences. I know I've always liked seeing old couples that I'm friends with reconnect...I think it's just a testament how love never really ceases to exist.

Just be careful because the odds are really not in your favor here. Make sure you are doing things on your own outside of this partnership to better yourself.

 

[zekko]

Sorry to disappoint the woman-haters, but everything is going well.

I don't consider myself a woman hater, but we're talking about a matter of days here. When I say if a girl leaves once, she will leave again, it could be hours, days, weeks, months, or even years. She left you once behind your back, there are obviously some cracks in the relationship. Just because the house doesn't fall down right away doesn't mean the cracks won't cause a problem some day.

I am not in a huge rush to propose, but I am considering it for the first time.

This is a little disturbing. You're coming off of a major disturbance in your relationship, alerting you to the fact that this women is not exactly the most reliable type. And your first reaction is to marry her? I wish you well, Bible Belt, I really do, but damn wtf?

And before I get told that I'm the one getting trapped, remember that she makes all the money. And I have a law degree. I don't foresee it ever happening, but if we divorced with kids, she would be the one getting screwed on child support, not me. In three years, she will make almost as much as a doctor makes, which is plenty to raise a family and fund my wacky business ventures, some of which actually make money on occasion.

Well, you make a few good points here, and you have a law degree so maybe you can avoid the worst case scenarios. But the court still tends to favor females. I have a friend who is disabled, his wife was a professional and made nearly all the money. She fvcked around on him, initiated the divorce, and yet somehow SHE still came out keeping most of the assets and left him with a very paltry settlement.

If you have children, like Brad says if you don't get custody, you're still going to be on the hook for them, no matter how much money she makes. If you want to keep hanging around with this chick, that's one thing. But why compound the problem with marriage if you don't have to?

When you have problems in a relationship, they tend to get worse over time, not better.

 

[disgustipated]

Don't move back in with her. Simple. Game her all over again. Once u put some good diick down pull back some, set the hook. Start rewarding and or punishing her by taking away your time or giving more of it. Always be aware of what's needed to balance things out in terms of your frame and act accordingly. If she engages you about talk about co habitating again, don't flat out say no but dangle in front of her that you're open to the possibility if.things keep going well. Dangle that carrot for her to.chase in the form of her good behavior. Don't spend every frickin night over there. 3 to 4 nights MAX if u have to. The less the better. Do not marry her. Do the same carrot dangling routine in regards to marriage. Get back into mms or something, something u do by yourself for yourself independent of her.

 

[Zarky]

I found an email she sent me a year ago of engagement rings she liked. She likes the man-made diamonds, which are cheap. One of them was $800, which is ridiculously cheap. I have enough car parts and junk sitting around to raise that money within a few days if I wanted. I'm not against the idea of marriage and children any more. When you're both 37 and neither one of you wants anyone else, denying those things to a woman seems kind of silly. I am not in a huge rush to propose, but I am considering it for the first time.

Yoda say: The oneitis is strong in this one.

Fat chick walks out on him, couple weeks later he's ready to marry her. You got played bro.

EDIT:

To point out the obvious..

Nothing she did was ever about not loving me, it was her feeling like I didn't love her.
[...]
she feels like someone who has felt neglected for a long time. She put up that for a long time from her ex-husband, before she finally moved out of state, and then finally cheated on him. I was reminding her of her marriage, and it freaked her out. I would rather have had this happen than have her cheat on me to tell me how she felt.

She has successfully pushed the responsibility for her own actions onto the men in her life. You are happily accepting that "it's all your fault."

SMH, man. S.M.H. The inner beta has escaped his confinement and is stronger than ever. The emotional rape has just begun. This will either end mercifully quickly in the next couple of months or will drag on for years before its inevitable demise.

I say again, you got played bro. And this is just the beginning. If you think this has anything to do with her feeling "unloved" or "neglected," you're deluding yourself. This was nothing other than a major power-play on her part during a time in your life when she calculated it would work. And she was clearly right.

You got played bro. We'll all be watching intently to see whether or not you can admit this fact to yourself.

 

[EastWind]

Whether it applies in this case or not, you should all remember that some women WILL walk out on a man they feel unloved by. I'm talking about "quality women" here, and I have two or three examples of this in my immediate surroundings. They always keep the relationship going wayyy too long, but then eventually break up with the guy if there's nothing coming from his end.

Yes, female AFCs. We get so caught up in our little world of evil women that we forget about them.

That said, it doesn't sound like this is the case here. I just felt I should throw this out there.

 

[Zarky]

Whether it applies in this case or not, you should all remember that some women WILL walk out on a man they feel unloved by.

Keep in mind though, that "feeling loved" is merely a way that a woman knows she has power and control over the man. When a woman feels like she's losing that control, she "feels unloved" and it makes her upset. The loss of power is what makes her upset.

Love = Power to women. When she feels a man "loves" her, she feels like she can compel him to do things for her and that he will protect her and not abandon her. This is the essence of love to women.

If the time comes when she no longer feels this power and control, she either leaves for real or tries major power-moves to regain it. In this case, it's obvious that the fat chick didn't actually intend to leave. She just put on a show of it to regain power. And it appears thus far that she's been successful.

If she were leaving for real she would have already lined up another man. Women don't like power vacuums. If a woman "leaves" you without having another man in the wings, you can be pretty sure it's just a power move.

Contrast all this with what happened to a buddy of mine years ago. Same exact situation, but the buddy immediately started dating another chick. 2 months later the original chick came back and was eating out of his hand. The guy dated both chicks for the rest of the year before finally taking back the original chick, who was now in a situation where she had lost power due to her failed power play.

EDIT:

(As I was typing this post, an ex of mine who dumped me a couple of months ago because I didn't show her enough "love" just texted to ask if I want to come over and have sex tonight. Oh, timing.)

 

[speed dawg]

Gotta love that arrogance and delusion, eh Bible Belt?