Man the fvck up. In the words of Biggie: "get a grip, motherfvcker."
I'm not going to tell you what you need to realize. You've heard it all before. I'm not going to tell you your ex is out guzzling on someone else's c0ck. You inherently know that. I'm not going to tell you to go out and approach women. Come on, you should have been doing that even when you had a girlfriend. And I'm most certainly not going to tell you to stop sulking. Men don't sulk. Agreed, you can grieve that the relationship is dead, but continuing to let it ruin you is absurd.
What I am going to help you do is become a better man. And I promise you, if you follow these steps to the letter, you WILL feel better. And you WILL heal sooner. One of my favorite movie lines is in Good Will Hunting, when Matt Damon is talking about how his dad used to beat him. His dad gave him the choice of either a wrench or a belt. And Will would always choose the wrench--a choice Robin Williams couldn't understand. Robin Williams asks him why, and he replies "because fvck him, that's why." Your ex is beating you with a wrench and you can either accept it with a big smile on your face and say "fvck you" right to her, or you can whimper and cower like a little baby, crying yourself to sleep at night and masturbating to thoughts of your ex with the pool of tears you have collected.
Step 1.) Delete her from your life. EVERYTHING must go. Any memories, photos, gifts, emails, notes...everything. Burn them, throw them away, write hateful notes all over them and then rip them up. Anything you want to do. Be creative. Because fvck her, that's why. Anything you gave each other is in the past and will only cause you to reminisce about all the lovey dovey times you pvssies had together. This! Doing this will get her off you mind faster than anything else. I can't say how many times I went to go look at her facebook and regretted it. Eventually I deleted everything. Feel LOADS better
Step 2.) Workout plan. You better get your a$$ to the gym and workout as much as possible. Not when you feel like it, not when you're feeling like sh!t over your ex, and not only after you have been binge eating/drinking. Follow a plan, workout harder than you have before. Transform your body. You've probably been neglecting your body since you had a gf, so get back in shape. Workouts do not need to span 3 hours. My workouts typically last anywhere from 1.5-1.75 hours. This includes probably 20-30 minutes of cardio. The testosterone that pumps through your veins after a beast leg workout is like a bullet to the head of the memories of your ex. Let's be straight, no one likes to bed down a fatty.....ok maybe some do. POINT is, if you want to feel better and more successful with EVERYONE, not just women, you have to look the part and dominate alpha males are strong both mental and physical
Step 3.) Read. Stick to the classics or any novel dealing with men being men. Hemingway was a drunk, but had some good ones. My favorite being For Whom the Bell Tolls. I'm not necessarily talking about the main character's interaction with the women in this book (although he does mention that women are a distraction...and also bangs Maria quite easily), but more than that is his sense of duty and self-discipline. Robert Jordan is a completely unflappable character. But choose your own books. Just read. I think this depends on the person, I've read so much during engineering college, I can't stand it anymore.
Step 4.) Manage your social media. I will never advocate for deleting anyone from your "friends list" or anything like that. This shows you are butthurt big time. I was such a moron when I had my last girl. I was off the grid when we met, no FB, Instagram, Snapchat. She convinced me to get all three because it's "just so fun!" Well after we broke up she deleted me on everything before I could even realize what happened. Just an extra little hit with her "wrench" over my head. Well fvck that, I deleted everything. It's all so fvcking poisonous. Ask yourself why you need that sh!t. If you can come up with a good answer to that question, let me know. Anyone I want to talk to is in my phone contacts. I can send them any picture I want, and meet them for a REAL LIFE BEER any time I want. My opinion is get rid of that sh!t. Added bonus: you can't check up on what your ex is doing. Personally I just blocked her and her friends. If it is indeed **** her, then it shouldn't matter what you do. She wanted out, let her have the universe and then some. Be awesome, you shouldn't have to change and delete what you like doing because of some *****. I find it hilarious that I get random friend requests from random women from the ex's hometown and then they get deleted 2 days in, attempts of logging in from a different location. Hilarious to watch unfold.
Step 5.) Stop talking about/mentioning your ex. You think about her often enough, you don't need to make your life worse by talking about her too. There is one caveat: if you are within the first week of your breakup, go ahead. Do all the little beta sh!t you want with your FAMILY and ONE FRIEND only. Find a trustworthy friend who you can be a b!tch to and can trust to not judge you. Use them. Your family should be there for you no matter what, so feel free to speak with them. This should only last for the first WEEK. And NEVER ever take anyone's advice about trying to get back with her. You should begin your convo with them by saying: "this is not me asking for advice on how to get her back. This is me venting. That is all." They will respect it. Sure you have to talk about it but eventually if you keep doing such, word will get back to her that she's all on your mind.
Step 6.) Stop your binge drinking, you wimp. You know who needs to drown their sorrows with vices like alcohol and drugs? A$$holes and cowards. All this does is put you in a ****t!er mood, yet all the while making you feel more confident to text/call/talk about/email/check social media/cry about your ex. It's pathetic, so stop doing it. If you MUST continue to drink, leave your phone at home and go out with people you trust and can have a good time with. You need to make sure you don't do stupid sh!t when you get pissy drunk. I find social drinking with buds is great, social drinking with a new woman, that's awesome.
Step 7.) Take some time off from women. You need to realize where you went wrong in the relationship. Maybe you backslid, perhaps you were too much of an a$$hole. I don't care what the reason is. You need to be introspective and understand your mistakes so that you can grow into the man the next woman will want. BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT! I did this and came to realize I went through alot of bull**** and I was better off without her. 7 months later, I am and rising to the top.
Step 8.) I know I told you I wouldn't say this, but fvck you. After you have taken some time off from women, you need to go out with some chicks. Get off your a$$ and enjoy the company of other women. Go on as many dates as possible. Overbook yourself. Do the online dating thing if you aren't ready to approach in real life. Tinder can work. You were all at one point attractive enough to get "the girl of your deams" aka your ex, so GUESS WHAT? YOU CAN ATTRACT OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE EQUAL, IF NOT BETTER THAN HER. Read that again and again. Your dumba$$ ex let go of the best person she will ever know. You, on the other hand, now get the opportunity to meet people 5x as awesome as your ex. Go out and meet them. Also this. In the last 7 months, I've prob seen about 8-10 women, some that I'd NEVER think I'd date, and several want to bed me down and "make me happy," because it "makes them happy"
Who knew women want a good strong guy?
Follow these rules and you will feel better in no time. Needless to say you MUST remain NC. Getting exes back can be done. I've seen it done, and I have done it myself. This is not to give you hope, it is to remind you that the ONLY successful time you can get back with your ex is when you get over them. And I don't mean like "oh whoopdie doo I am so confident now I can see my ex and pretend I'm ok and everything will be OK." No, you need to truly be over them. This can take years. And trust me, any MAN will not want to go back to an ex after they have banged several other dudes. It's far better to spend your time searching for a new woman. Not only is it far better, but it's far EASIER. Trust me on that--I'm speaking from experience. So, in conclusion: True but I have seen some couples get back together and work it out, BUT DON'T COUNT ON IT! Being over them is the best win win for you.
Man the fvck up. NO U.....but srsly, ya, do this.