The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

mikey2012

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bateman72 said:
Hey way to go Blinkers. Its christmas eve here and im feeling pretty down. Missing her, life k8nda lost some brightness. Day 15 no contact.
Send her merry Christmas text . Hey even the Germans had a ceasefire
 

Lotus Effect

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You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Blinkers again.
Holy shoot man!

You handled it like a real Man. I confess it is going to hurt for a while, but I'm sure you will be able to move on way faster than any of us stupid f*ckers whose chased after them!

Way to go dude! As Jariel said, your story is trully inspirational!
mikey2012 said:
Send her merry Christmas text . Hey even the Germans had a ceasefire
Do not send her sh*t!!

Don't send a message, a card, an inbox. Nothing!

There is no ceasefire, because she is not the enemy. She is DEAD!
She made the favour to kill herself for you. So there is no point in sending sh*t!

If you really believe that mikey, wait and see if YOUR celphone will ring tonight with any sign from her.

I seriously doubt it!
 

MichiganMan1111

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Lotus Effect said:
There is no ceasefire, because she is not the enemy. She is DEAD!
You hit the nail on the head. THIS is the purpose of the NC.

I once got back together with an ex...its great for about 2 weeks as you relive the original honeymoon and screw like rabbits...then they start to treat you like **** and take you for granted. Why wouldn't they? They ditched you and you were waiting like a little puppy for their return.
 

MichiganMan1111

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My heart goes out to each and every one of you guys that are feeling down this Christmas Eve. I just want to remind you that many of us on this board were in your shoes once, and we know how you feel (only an alcoholic can know how an alcoholic feels). But we also know THAT IT GETS BETTER! I remember nights where I would lay awake, heart pounding, wondering if I could make it-wondering what she was doing. I was there! I understand! Trust me, you will find another girl some day and you will look back at this time as the time that made you a MAN. You will be a better, more dependable person as a result of this. **It isn't about her anymore, its about YOU. Don't dwell on the past, learn from it. The girl of your dreams will probably be sitting at a Christmas Eve party wondering if she will ever find Mr. Right. BE MR. RIGHT. Find her, find enjoyment in life. **** the ***** that tried to cut your balls off!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas AND a Happy New Year FOCUSED ON MOVING FORWARD.
 

tripod23

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guys whatever you do .....please do not send any text message to your ex , i know its very tempting with it being the season of good will and all that shyt......but this will just make her have an even better christmas trust me .

what will happen is she will think ohhh hes thinking about me .....GREAT i will give him even more stupid disfunctional treatment .

FVCK THAT FOR AN EGO BOOST .......NO WAY IN HELL WILL I SEND ANY FVCKING MESSAGE ......IT IS TOTALLY POINTLESS AND THANK GOD I REALISE THIS.

lets see how many of us come back on here and say our ex chick text us wishing us happy christmas , mine wont for sure......NO CONTACT MEANS YOU HAVE DISAPEARED GONE VANISHED THATS WHAT SHE WANTED AND LUCKY FOR HER THATS WHAT SHE GOT.

THE WAY I LOOK AT IT IS ...AT LEAST ONE PERSON GOT WHAT THEY WANTED FROM ALL THE STUPID BEHAVIOUR , ITS A SHAME I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANTED ........BUT YOU HAVE TO CHALK IT UP TO A LEARNING CURVE AND MOVE FORWARD.

ANOTHER WEEK AND ITS 2014 SO WE ALL NEED TO FOCUS ON HOW WE WILL IMPROVE OUR LIVES AND MOVE FORWARD.

PLEASE GUYS NO TEXT MESSAGES TO YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND , REMEMBER THIS - IT WILL JUST FEED HER EGO IN MINE AND MANY OTHERS OPINION

KEEP POSITIVE THINGS WILL GET BETTER I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN THIS.

TAKE CARE GUYS
 

Arossi2211

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There is no way I am sending her a message on Christmas Day she will not get my best wishes I hope she has a crap day because she made mine the worst Christmas ever !!!!!
 

drakeramore

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Hey guys!

I would like to also wish you all happy holidays and to also wish you strength to get over this slump. I am in the same boat as you.

It is the holidays and everyone is jovial, happy and in a party mood (or at least they are faking it), yet I do not feel quite as happy and enjoying life at the moment.

It is a difficult time to maintain NC but we will make it through this.

My ex girl contacted me again a few days back asking me what my plans for the holidays were and how I am doing. I ignored her messages. It is likely that she will send me another text these days. I will continue ignoring them. Because what is said above by tripod is right - she got what she wanted - to escape from me and to be with someone she loves more. That means I will respect her decision and disappear from her life, hence the NC is just a natural extension of that mindset. Why contact someone who wanted to get rid of you in the first place without even telling you that she is planning to do so?

Stay strong, guys, keep the NC, heal and through changes and a lot of self-reflection become the men you want to be.

Happy holidays!
 

Lotus Effect

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MichiganMan1111 said:
I once got back together with an ex...its great for about 2 weeks as you relive the original honeymoon and screw like rabbits...then they start to treat you like **** and take you for granted. Why wouldn't they? They ditched you and you were waiting like a little puppy for their return.
It happened with the girl that brought me here as well! The god forsaken EX

She dumped me, 15 days later we got back together because I cried and begged.

It was awesome on the first week. We f*cked like rabbits indeed. Than she begun treating me like sh*t at the second week. And then she f*cked another dude on the third. 2 days after my birthday!

Too bad for her she was not very smart on hiding it!

It sucks balls. But it is what it is. She was a devious slut. And I don't wish her nothing in this time of the year. Nor good or bad. Nothing at all.

I sincerelly hope that all of you guys keep it strong, and keep it to yourselfs.
Don't give the Ex the pleasure of knowing they own you. Tripod said it very wisely. Read his words over and over again!

DON'T SEND NOTHING TO HER.

I doubt that they will send you guys anything anyway.

And bateman, no worries man. We are here to help each other!

But most of all, a Merry Christmas to all of us!!!
Let this pain be our most valuable present in life, and let us all rise like a Phoenix from this mess!
Bigger and better Man!
 

tripod23

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HEY GUYS ....JUST COME HERE TOMORROW IF YOU GET THE EARGE TO TEXT YOUR EX , ALL YOU WILL NEED TO DO IS SINK A FEW BEERS READS ALL THESE POSTS AND YOU WILL THINK .......FVCK THAT HOE IM HAVING ANOTHER BEER.
 

tripod23

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Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

If Your Ex Gets In Touch Just Send Her A Message Saying ........hoe Hoe Hoe Merrrry Christmas Ha Ha .........
 

Jariel

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I would be lying if I said I didn't think of my ex a lot today. We had such a good christmas last year and here I am this year, returning home all alone. I've been tempted to contact one of my plates and see if they want to hang out, but think it may be a bit much to spend xmas with someone I've dated once or only few times.

But like others are saying DO NOT SEND HER ANYTHING!!

I am not tempted to, and couldn't anyway because I deleted her contact details. During our last contact I also asked her not to contact me again and to move on, so I don't expect to hear from her either.

Just gotta stick out this lonely feeling this year. Got plenty of texts, emails and sexting going at least. :)

But really just came on here to wish you all the best for Christmas and urge you all to stay strong!! 2014 is going to get INSANELY GOOD!!
 

Arossi2211

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She just texted me about the kids does that mean she's thinking about me? And also I know she's still bitter about the break up does that mean she's not over me yet??
 

bateman72

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Lotus Effect said:
It happened with the girl that brought me here as well! The god forsaken EX

She dumped me, 15 days later we got back together because I cried and begged.

It was awesome on the first week. We f*cked like rabbits indeed. Than she begun treating me like sh*t at the second week. And then she f*cked another dude on the third. 2 days after my birthday!

Too bad for her she was not very smart on hiding it!

It sucks balls. But it is what it is. She was a devious slut. And I don't wish her nothing in this time of the year. Nor good or bad. Nothing at all.

I sincerelly hope that all of you guys keep it strong, and keep it to yourselfs.
Don't give the Ex the pleasure of knowing they own you. Tripod said it very wisely. Read his words over and over again!

DON'T SEND NOTHING TO HER.

I doubt that they will send you guys anything anyway.

And bateman, no worries man. We are here to help each other!

But most of all, a Merry Christmas to all of us!!!
Let this pain be our most valuable present in life, and let us all rise like a Phoenix from this mess!
Bigger and better Man!

The day I found out my girlfriend cheated on me my best friend was in Hawaii and another friend had already moved to Australia. This is my support network, the ones that would tell me to be strong, move on, and don't contact her. Completely unavailable to me when this happened.

Luckily I found this forum.

Today I am focusing on what happened after my last relationship ended, this was about 2.0 years ago and the months leading up to the time I met the girl who drove me to this forum were some of the best of my adult life. Here is a quick summary:

1) Started two new businesses
2) gained roughly 10 lbs of muscle
3) honed and strengthened my "game", learned to build attraction and maintain "frame" with hot girls.
4) Expanded my network of guy friends.
5) improved my wardrobe


the day I met my ex gf I had about four romantic prospects in my life and I was having a great night out in her home city. I was completely self contained and happy in my own skin.

a few months into my relationship with this girl I lost some of this. Dropped some of my hobbies, and dropped ALL my plates.

I don't believe everything I read in the manosphere but I have to say women have a unique intuition and can tell when you are drawing more energy and you happiness from your relationship than you are from other aspects of your life. You may be happy and confident in your life, but the moment that relationship takes center stage, you are a bit less of a man in her eyes.

At that point it comes down to where she is in her life. Is she happy and secure enough to let you take center stage in her life? A girl in her twenties lives in a pretty exciting and pretty emotional world. I don't think anything occupies center stage very long in her world. If a man puts her on his main stage he tranfers a lot of power to her. the end result?... at your absolute weakest moment she kicks you to the curb.

I want to get back to the happy self sufficient state in was in before her. I know I got to let her go to make this happen. it helps me to come here, reread postings from you guys and comment on your situation. I want to emphasize to anyone reading this that it is not about outwaiting her and getting her to call. its about kicking her off your main stage and putting yourself back up there. When you are the star of your own show that's when the ladies come calling and that's when your really living your life.

anyway. thanks for the help during the holiday season. don't call her, text her, come here instead and post.
 

drakeramore

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Hi guys,
Merry Christmas

I am at day #28

I was wondering, I must admit I am still thinking a lot about my ex girl, and I expect her to send me some holiday wish text these days.

I also am thinking of sending something along the lines of "thanks, likewise" back. Something very short that should attempt to project my indifference to her, nothing more. It would be rude to not answer at all if it is some kind of a nice holiday wish. Am still wondering though if I should do it, if it comes to it that is, of course.

Not replying in this case would show how hurt I still am and would be rude and kind of classless. Still though it will show her how determined I am not to get in touch with her ever again.

I see a reason to go with either route.
 
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bateman72

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Arossi2211 said:
By the way I'm not texting her back !!
arossi:

I was in a two year relationship with a woman with kids and I sympathize with your plight.

I think you are aware of the monkey analogy for women. Men take breakups harder than women because a woman is like a monkey in the jungle. She grabs on to a new branch (the new guy) before letting go of the old branch (you). A young woman never falls because she lives in a thick jungle with lots of branches to grab onto.

A single mother with kids is like a FAT monkey. A fat monkey cant swing wildly though the jungle because although there may be a lot of branches to grab, only some of the branches can support her weight. Her habit is two grab firmly onto a new branch while maintaining a tight grip on the first branch. She hangs in the jungle holding two branches and only moves along slowly. its different from a young childless monkey who can swing from branch to branch wildly. If she grabs a weak branch she will fall and fall hard.

when my relationship ended with the single mother we had a solid six month period of going out, having sex, maintaining contact. this would wax and wane, some weeks we saw each other a lot, sometimes I never heard from her. This was all done under the guise of "hey, the kids miss you, you want to go out to eat", "Hey, why don't you come over tonight, its so and so's birthday".

She can do this and not feel bad about it because it is all about the kids. my ex girlfriend held onto me (branch number one) while she was basically shaking the fvck out of the next branch. gauging the strength, making sure it would support the combined weight of her and her kids before letting go of me.

If she wants to move you on you got to be firm and make her let go of your branch. Figure out a way to interact directly with your kid that doesn't involve her.
 

bateman72

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drakeramore said:
Hi guys,
Merry Christmas

I was wondering, I must admit I am still thinking a lot about my ex girl, and I expect her to send me some holiday wish text these days.

I also am thinking of sending something along the lines of "thanks, likewise" back. Something very short that should attempt to project my indifference to her, nothing more. It would be rude to not answer at all if it is some kind of a nice holiday wish. Am still wondering though if I should do it, if it comes to it that is, of course.

Not replying in this case would show how hurt I still am and would be rude and kind of classless. Still though it will show her how determined I am not to get in touch with her ever again.

I see a reason to go with either route.


how many days no contact are you?
 
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