The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[m7ytn]

but she talked to my mom for like 25 minutes and told her that she still loves me and now shes on ANTI-DEPRESSSANTS?

What difference is that supposed to make? I mean she cheated, right? Is she trying to blame that sh*t on being depressed or something? Because if that is her argument, its pretty flimsy...

 

[Renegade357]

wow so my ex came over today to drop EVEN MORE things of mine off by surprise even though i told her i didnt want them... i wasnt home thankfully

but she talked to my mom for like 25 minutes and told her that she still loves me and now shes on ANTI-DEPRESSSANTS?

i really dont get life hahaha

Sounds like wife material. I mean, not.

 

[Renegade357]

P.S. Maybe now's the time to block her on FB? Thoughts?

Yep, stay on the offensive. Block her out of your life. It will drive her insane.

 

[Jariel]

I just thought I'd drop in with a question and a possible tip for helping you guys move forward.

Going through all this emotional turmoil, how many of you have found your sex drive drop? Do you look at attractive women with indifference and have little to no desire to have sex with anyone other than your ex?

This happened to me for a long time. The only way I could get turned on is if I fantasized about my ex. I was flirting with other women and I've always got a lot of options for casual sex, but I just wasn't feeling it.

This past week, I've found my sex drive has returned and I'm more motivated to flirt and hit on other women. I'm spinning several plates, have dates and hook ups lined up....and you know what? I feel LOADS better for it. In fact, I'm thinking of my ex now in a "oh well, it wasn't meant to be, but life goes on" kinda way.

Last week I started taking Tribulus Terrestis. A lot of people say it's just a gimmick, but I've always felt good when I'm on it and feel my sex drive improving. So I just thought I'd put that out there. Give it a try...give any kind of libido boosting supplements a try and see if this helps you to focus more on other women.

 

[narcissist]

Change Your Number Fellas

so basically today, i am 100% comitting to no contact

NO MORE CONTACT EVER AGAIN

not to get her back, or to make her feel like sh*t

im not using it as a game, its wholeheartedly so i can get over her and move on with my life, so heres the steps i took to completely phase her out of my life

1. i changed my cell number (MOST IMPORTANT)
2. i made my twitter account private
3. i blocked her completely on facebook
4. i put a privacy lock on her tumblr website so i cant check it

now i know what all of you will say

"THATS NOT INDIFFERENCE" "YOUR SHOWING THAT YOU CARE"

but honestly i just want her gone out of my life for good

now the only way i can come into contact with her is if she comes to my house
or if i bump into her on the street (which is HIGHLY unlikely)

***the main reason why you should change your number is because you then rid yourself of the pain and hope of her texting you or contacting you

you completely strip yourself of that little hope in the back of your head that she will contact you and put up your ego and say things like "i love you" "i want you back" "blahblahblah" which is completely contrary to the goal in mind... which is GETTING OVER HER

this way you can get over her and she doesnt have a chance to stay in your mind/life.

 

[narcissist]

What difference is that supposed to make? I mean she cheated, right? Is she trying to blame that sh*t on being depressed or something? Because if that is her argument, its pretty flimsy...

this is very true... im coming to the point where i dont even care anymore.. i just find it funny

 

[m7ytn]

1. i changed my cell number (MOST IMPORTANT)

That is dedication dude! Glad you're powering through this...

now the only way i can come into contact with her is if she comes to my house

If she makes a habit of that, you could always threaten her with a restraining order...then if she still won't leave you alone, actually follow through with it...

 

[StayingHopeful]

yeah man its definitely hard to deal with the girl you loved being with another guy... of course thats gunna hurt, but you have to realise that she hasnt loved you for a while.. and most likely she was talking to the guy even before you guys broke up....

this may sound like a destroying thought but its actually uplifting... trust me

it allows you to not waste your time anymore with a girl that doesnt treat you the way you - as a f**king boss - deserves to be treated...

heres a couple of things that will help you along the way when you find yourself constantly thinking about her and constantly imagining her with her new boyfriend...

1. read the break up guides EVERY F**KING DAY right when you wake up

2. DO NOT listen to love songs or watch love movies... start listening to boss muisc like hardcore break down metal or some strong elecronic tech house or rap whatever... BUT I REPEAT.. DO NOT LISTEN TO LOVE SONGS

3. DO NOT STALK HER SOCIAL MEDIA!!!! this is a hugggggge one
- the reason you dont want to do this is because your constantly reminded that she is having a great time and you are stuck at home hurting over her

4. EVERYDAY DO ONE THING THAT BETTERS YOURSELF
- WORKOUT!!!
- talk to new women
- read uplifting books
- starting drinking more water and eating more fruits/ taking vitamins and fish oils
- change up your style
- clean up your room AND ALWAYS KEEP IT CLEAN (BIG DIFFERENCE IN THE WAY YOULL FEEL)

5. if you dont already do this - wake up earlier - DONT SLEEP IN!

6. ill repeat this one GRAB AN UPLIFTING BOOK AND START READING
some suggeestions:
- 48 laws of power/the art of seduction
- the slight edge
- tao te ching
- how to influence friends an influence people

usually what i like to do is read one nonfiction and one fictional
like right now im reading the brothers karamozov by dostoyevsky and the prince by niccolo machiavelli

7. HAVE FUN MAN! make a strong effort to have a good time no matter what, SMILE and force yourself to enjoy things

LIFE IS SHORT: it can also be beautiful if you can learn to shift your perspective

8. take up a hobby/ find your passion: maybe learn a new subject like biology or physics, or maybe start training muay thai (kickboxing)

9. talk to other women - very important to getting rid of one-itis

10. LIFE IS SUFFERING MATE LEARN TO ACCEPT WHAT WAS AND WHAT IS!
(maybe the most important one of them all)

11. reconnect with old friends and family members and TRY HARD TO BUILD RAPORT WITH THEM!!!!

12. and last but not least make a conscious effort to strive towards to path of making yourself happy and not letting ANYONE else feed you your happiness
- i wont be able to help you on this one its a path we all have to take and has different forms
- you have to go on this journey yourself mate and find within yourself happiness whatever that may be
- but if you lack this in your life, each and every relationship you have will end in utter dismay and turmoil and anguish will be left in your eyes


realize that love comes and goes, its not a definite thing that can be materialized and kept in your pocket, its in constant flux and the second it comes it usually leaves

love does not hold stasis, realize this, and realize that your ex is gone and love has left, but most often then not IT WILL COME AGAIN

BE PREPARED FOR WHEN IT COMES AGAIN THOUGH*** very important

because love is fickle and will often leave you utterly destroyed if your not up for the challenge

be a boss
be an alpha
be happy on by your own accord
learn new things
and know that death will reach you one day, dont waste your time dwelling on infinitesimal things

much love to you mate, hope everything goes well, never hesitate to ask for help and sh*t

goodluck

I don't know what happened after I read this but I woke up the next day and something snapped! Suddenly I don't give a **** anymore! I've started doing many of the things you listed here and I've been doing some of them already. I find myself not caring what she's doing or even thinking about her anymore. I admit it would be nice to get back together with her but I no longer care if that happens or not. I hit up a couple old flames to chat and will probably be spending my Saturday night and all of Sunday with one of them.

I don't know what kind of subliminal message you got hidden in that post but THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! I feel liberated!

 

[RandomLegend]

NC Challenge day #6

And what if I'm wrong? What if I'm just thinking I'm doing the right thing and being strong, not contacting her, not talking to her and thinking I'll just endure it and it'll pass? What if she really is the right one and I'm the one who ****ed up everything from the start?

 

[RandomLegend]

Whatever, if I break NC up now and contact her it will just make it worse. Crazy thought there for a second.

 

[RandomLegend]

FFS I accidentally sent her a Facebook sticker. That guy saying I should delete Facebook was right!

 

[Lotus Effect]

Told you...

 

[Renegade357]

NC Challenge day #6

And what if I'm wrong? What if I'm just thinking I'm doing the right thing and being strong, not contacting her, not talking to her and thinking I'll just endure it and it'll pass? What if she really is the right one and I'm the one who ****ed up everything from the start?

First of all it doesn't matter how much you like her. Only how much she likes you. Period. Second, there's nothing you can do to make her like you more. You can only do things to make her like you less. That's why you do nothing and MAYBE she'll come back to you.

It's like playing blackjack and using the basic strategy. No contact might seem like hitting on a 16 against a 7 but you still do it because that's the best way to win in the long run.

The fact is the odds are stacked strongly against you. That's why you find a new girl and don't make the same mistakes you made with the last one.

 

[BeefNoJerky]

NC Challenge day #6

And what if I'm wrong? What if I'm just thinking I'm doing the right thing and being strong, not contacting her, not talking to her and thinking I'll just endure it and it'll pass? What if she really is the right one and I'm the one who ****ed up everything from the start?

"The right one" seems like extremely limited, scarcity-thinking.

If one-girl-in-a-thousand would be a good match for you that you'd be attracted to, that means there are MORE THAN THREE MILLION on this earth who you could be with.

I'm just saying that THE ONE is an idea basically perpetuated by Hollywood romance movies and by our unhealthy, post-break-up attachment. I, for one, don't want to spend any time catering to our giving allegiance to either of those two things. Hollywood just wants my money, and attachment just wants my soul.

BeefNoJerky

 

[Lotus Effect]

Today is day 53 of NC for me!

Last time I've heard from her was 33 days ago, when she replied my "I'm going NC email". After that, nothing more.

I can safely assure all you guys that I'm much better than I was when I got here. This challenge is really hardcore, but if anyone has the chance of doing it straight after the breakup it will be very good.

I was stupid enought of breaking up the way a man should end things after I found out she was cheating on me, but due my weakness and lack of knowledge I chased her after a while reversing my situation and putting me on a little b!tch position. One that I may never recover...

What I'm trying to say is, even though I'm much better now, than I was 53 days ago. I would be extremelly better if I went NC on july after I broke up with her never to be heard again.

The regret of posing as a doormat is something that haunts me each and every single day, and something that will take much more than 2 months to heal.

So, follow my advice. When you get the chance to go ghost, GO. And then, when you get the chance to SHUT THE FVCK UP, SHUT IT!

This next week that will follow to end the challenge I will not dwell in here. I've also found out that dwelling in here every day gets a little counterproductive, 'cause after all, it makes you think about her!

So, to all you guys, good Luck! Until next week!

 

[dvx]

If she starts calling, how long to make her beg and call, before knowing that she might want to meet up and talk things over? Day 5 now of NC, she calls with private number a couple times a day, i don't pick up.

She fooled me last time, she called 55 times on a single day, and made threat texts, saying it will be over forever if i don't answer her and stuff like that. I did answer and after that she said "she had a bad day" and don't want me back. WTF. This time i won't answer as easy again. I will torture her for weeks if she starts bombing my cell again and sending texts.

 

[narcissist]

If she starts calling, how long to make her beg and call, before knowing that she might want to meet up and talk things over? Day 5 now of NC, she calls with private number a couple times a day, i don't pick up.

She fooled me last time, she called 55 times on a single day, and made threat texts, saying it will be over forever if i don't answer her and stuff like that. I did answer and after that she said "she had a bad day" and don't want me back. WTF. This time i won't answer as easy again. I will torture her for weeks if she starts bombing my cell again and sending texts.

change your number, move the f**k on

theres a reason why it ended in the first place, your going down a road of perpetual dismay if you have the thought of working things out..

1. theres better girls out there
2. one-itis is a disease - learn to face that disease head on
- a good way to do this is never talking to her again even if she wants to work things out
3. NC is for you but you making it about her, by initiating it only to torture her
- in my opinion, and i think other would agree, that that isnt technically "no contact"
4. your only going to hurt yourself when she stops contacting you
thoughts like these will go through your mind:
"why isnt she begging for me anymore?"
"does she have a new boyfriend?"
"she doesnt care about me anymore"
"i f***ked up"
-this is because of your ego
5. at this point you will break NC
6. you become an AFC

so man up, drop ALLLLL contact with her,
1. delete her number
2. change your number and dont tell her
- this way she cannot keep subliminnally putting herself in your mind
3. block/delete ALLL her social medias/make yours private

leave ABSOLUTELY NO room for her to contact you or for you to contact her

this will ensure that you WILL move on, and you will become the better man you deserve to be

torturing her and making her beg will eventually have an opposite effect.. your only feeding your ego and when she stops begging and crying YOUR EGO WILL DRAG YOU BACK TO HER

good luck

 

[narcissist]

Ok well the hardest thing to do is to follow your own advice..

i have failed MY TERMS of no contact BECAUSE i just went on a social media stalk...

I F**KING HATE doing that... BUT its extremely luring, and pulls you in like the heroin and your "ego" needs the fvcking fix..

i have not contacted her seeing as i dont have her number so she doesnt know that anything has happened but i dont give a sh!t about that.. i only care about me now and i just messed up my own mind going on her twitter, her facebook, her tumblr, and the guys twitter that she cheated on me with and LITERALLY checked most of his tweets to see if she favorited them

how absolutely fvcking terrible is that

im exposing my self because i should have more self control then that but i just acted like a COMPLETE AFC B*TCH

goddamnit i came so far only to fvck it up

i cant believe this girl still has an affect on me (although i would never let her know it)

i REALLY need to start spinning plates

FVCK ONEITIS

 

[narcissist]

its been 22 days guys and im still affected, but why?

at this point im never letting myself get vulnerable to a woman again

 

[narcissist]

okay heres my plan, everyday i will post here - if i have or have not gone on her social media, and hopefully that will motivate me to not go on it!

no fvck that i WONT GO ON IT

this is the LAST thing i need to do to get over this girl because i have cut ALL contact with her EXCEPT i keep checking her social media to see what shes up too - ITS MY EGO, gotta kick it to the curb

by going on her social media i constantly remind my self of her and what shes up to and trying to see if shes sad or whatever - but this is ONLY HINDERING my progress and my healing

out of sight out of mind

i will not let you guys down, day 1 of no social media starting now