She has not been diagnosed (to my knowledge) but she has been in councelling and on and off anti depressants. She has a lot of issues, but I always put them down to stress - divorce, losing her home, uncertainty of the future, financial worries etc.itdude said:a lot of people here throw the BPD word around but my ex was diagnosed BPD. And when I learnt that I made it my mission to learn everything about it to help me cope with this behavior.
From what I have read about your ex she sounds to me like she has some symptoms/traits of BPD. If this is the case you are better off without her. they create havoc and even diagnosed BDPs will tell you to run if you have the chance.
However, when I read about BPD, she seems to show all those exact traits. The only thing she didn't do was get violent or aggressive towards me.
I read this article not long ago and can relate to it 100%
http://gettinbetter.com/anycost.html
This quote sums it up EXACTLY for me!!Borderlines can leave solid, long-term attachments or marriages very suddenly. You'll be feeling shocked and bewildered by this--particularly when she cites frustrations or problems you were never made aware of, to justify her abrupt departure. You might vacillate between numbness and tormenting confusion, but what's even worse, is she'll have you thinking you're responsible for this outcome! When you've done virtually everything to keep her satisfied and happy throughout this relationship (which has included putting your personal needs and desires aside to accommodate hers), you're left only with a sense of sheer exhaustion, painful craving and deep betrayal.
You cannot help agonizing over how she could leave--given all the times she told you this was the "best sex" she'd ever had, how much she needed you, and that she could never even imagine living without you! You've believed you were the center of her universe, and it was finally safe to let your guard down, and trust that she was here to stay.
It really helps to know that I'm not the only one going through this same sh!t and that there might actually be some kind of explanation for it.
Not that I plan to do anything about it or try to get her back, but I want to understand so I can heal and move on.