The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Big Keep]

Day 2 today ..... Not gonna lie I miss her and wish things were different . I'm a man and I can admit that I made mistakes , she knows I love her , I just always had to question why she loved me .... She's the one , I know it , I just mess everything up always and push ppl away .....

We always miss something when it's gone.. She's missing something of you too right now.. She may just be better to hide it but no contact is for sure the best way to get her head clear with her feeling toward you.. No matter how hard you try, you may come off as needy and this will only push her away..

My ex girlfriend always had all she wanted and as long as I played ''hard to get'' she was playing the game until I was back in her arm and she knew she had me.. But I got sick of those childish game and I decided to go no contact instead.. But it's just to tell you that even if it's not logic in your head, it is for your heart.. And it's a good way for recovery and getting back with her..

Just be strong

 

[mnl24]

Bigkeep check your pm

 

[Affi11]

Some people might say that dating other girl may help you but for some (I am one of them), dating other girls make you compare them to your ex and you end up thinking even more about them.. I found out that you have to find something to do ''alone'' that doesn't make you think about her, e.g. A video game, going to the gym, spending some time with a particular close friend etc..

I've slept with many many girls since my Ex girlfriend and I'm still focusing on her no matter what.. Sex is just sex and when you really feel something for someone, you think that it's impossible to feel the same for someone else.. But the fact is that it won't transfer from a girl to another.. It has to disappear by itself then you're ready for the next one..

Dating other girl is more like a reason to show yourself that you can get other girl easily.. Right now, you should not date just to get over her, it should be to meet new people and to open up your social circle..

When you go out, just have fun and don't think about the ex because no matter how hard you think about her, it won't change anything right now.. Something I found useful in those moments is that you have to tell yourself that she's going to come back to you.. You just know it. Just make it like she's away for a while and she will come back in a month.. Then you guys gonna talk and she will be all over you..

May sound stupid like that, but that thinking has helped me a lot.

Don't give up

Thanks for saying that Big Keep. I think I want to date to get over my oneitis. This one was really a keeper, and I messed it up. I think I was trying to show myself that she's not one of a kind, there are tons out there like her.

And actually, even though I was kind of sad on the way home, having a little bit of connection with that random woman, was helpful. I woke up today without the deep sense of longing and loss I've had the last few weeks. But you're right - the first thing I need to do is be okay on my own, before even considering dating other people again.

Ironically, thinking about it that way (she's just gone a month and will be back) actually makes me kind of emotional. It's really fairy tale - I don't think real life is that easy.

Thanks for the support, I won't give up!

** Day 2 of NC **

she actually texted something randomly logistical this morning. I replied very briefly. I woke up and did a bunch of pushups, squats, and situps, and ate some eggs. feeling good, today's going to be a productive day.

 

[Big Keep]

Thanks for saying that Big Keep. I think I want to date to get over my oneitis. This one was really a keeper, and I messed it up. I think I was trying to show myself that she's not one of a kind, there are tons out there like her.

And actually, even though I was kind of sad on the way home, having a little bit of connection with that random woman, was helpful. I woke up today without the deep sense of longing and loss I've had the last few weeks. But you're right - the first thing I need to do is be okay on my own, before even considering dating other people again.

Ironically, thinking about it that way (she's just gone a month and will be back) actually makes me kind of emotional. It's really fairy tale - I don't think real life is that easy.

Thanks for the support, I won't give up!

** Day 2 of NC **

she actually texted something randomly logistical this morning. I replied very briefly. I woke up and did a bunch of pushups, squats, and situps, and ate some eggs. feeling good, today's going to be a productive day.

Why reply ? You just started N/C all over again

 

[Affi11]

Why reply ? You just started N/C all over again

we were living together, she moved out but hasn't found a permanent spot yet. logistical stuff. but point taken, i guess today i'm back to square one. there will probably be a little more contact when she actually needs to get her stuff, but i will keep it quick and impersonal.

 

[Big Keep]

we were living together, she moved out but hasn't found a permanent spot yet. logistical stuff. but point taken, i guess today i'm back to square one. there will probably be a little more contact when she actually needs to get her stuff, but i will keep it quick and impersonal.

I wasn't aware of the situation and it doesn't mean necessarily square one.. It's just the way you'll handle it that will put you on square one or not.. Just act like she's an old friend, and she forgot some stuffs at your home, don't rush her to come get it because (you couldn't care less) and you have to show her that you don't care.. Just put her stuff all together, ready to be picked-up so she won't stay 2 hours just to get all done..

But I understand it's kind of hard to deal with a logistical situation.

 

[foolyoufool]

Day 8... I came SO close to breaking NC and contacting her yesterday. I was planning on calling her to meet up so I could spill my heart out to her and get her to leave her other guy... Then I realized: I couldn't let someone else have that much control over my emotions.

You can read the full story here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2057160#post2057160


Once I decided not to contact her I felt this huge sense of relief. Like its all over, I can just forget and move on. I really liked her but its time for me to move on.

Thinking back I realized that there were times I was an AFC chump with her. I usually did most of the chasing, setting up plans about 70% of the time, but she would rarely turn down my ideas. When I was seeing her I saw this as a good sign, that she was into me. Looking back maybe I should have laid back a little and let her chase more. It's just so hard when you a like a person that much, I couldn't wait to spend more time with her.

When we broke up she was obviously torn up about it, but I question if this was really "bad timing" like she said. Maybe she just became more attracted to that other guy. I'd like to think she still really liked me and she's torn up about it too. But WHATEVER. I'm just going to move on now. If she contacts me sometime, great, if not, whatever, i'll find someone else.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Day 2

She texted me last night asking why I came over the previous night. Then texted me saying that I must of blocked her and am an a**hole. Then emailed me this morning saying that I left my coat there and sarcastically thanked me once again for ignoring/blocking her and called me an a**hole once again. Even though I know she's just looking for closure, i didn't respond to any of the messages although its tempting. I just want the b*tch to leave me the phuk alone!

 

[Dalshtröm]

Day 2

She texted me last night asking why I came over the previous night. Then texted me saying that I must of blocked her and am an a**hole. Then emailed me this morning saying that I left my coat there and sarcastically thanked me once again for ignoring/blocking her and called me an a**hole once again. Even though I know she's just looking for closure, i didn't respond to any of the messages although its tempting. I just want the b*tch to leave me the phuk alone!

No. You love it when she still contacting you. Be honest to yourself.

 

[henrea4]

^^^I know I wish my ex wife would contact me!

Day 19. *sigh*

 

[Tissot]

Just a little tip guys, try to work out your inner problems that caused you to get dumped in the first place and work on that!! Be honest about it too, no good comes to lying to yourself...your NC is a good time to work that out.

Example: are you insecure, easily jealous, trust issue, violent, emotional blackmailing, cheater...I can go on but you see my point! Spend reasonable time to evaluate yourself and then you'll feel better about yourself, the point of NC is to conquer your own demon and somehow kill it so you can be a better/stronger person.

Don't think, just do!!

 

[Big Keep]

First week of no contact, 7 days..

Still going on her facebook from time to time.. But less than Day 1..

I'm feeling better though but I won't lie, a text from her would be appreciated even if I know that I would not respond.. But I guess she won't.. She sent me 3 texts till my day 1 and I didn't respond to any so I don't think she will continue..

Anyway, N/C is continuing anyhow because it's the only thing that keeps me on track..

 

[henrea4]

Still going on her facebook from time to time.. But less than Day 1..

Why?

 

[Skyline]

I think it's time a share my No Contact story that pretty much is the reason why i'm here.

Story:
I started talking to a girl for about a month, we sparked, but distance(mistake) pretty much killed it. The only reason why i continued talking is because she said she may come back to the state.
We would talk basically everyday(mistake) and she was just pretty much amazing, however i was an RAFC at that time. Even when she was being "sent away" for getting caught smoking weed she told me how she would miss me and wouldn't ever see me, i basically sent her all this hallmark "i'll meet other people.. but i'll still be there" type of sh*t. I even went as far as getting information from people/sources on how she could pass her drug test.


Then one day she tells me saying someone asked her out and she said "yes."
The guy was no way better looking than me(bit overweight), but looking back at it, he was on the same(maybe worse) mindset as i was: AFC/RAFC. This made me feel even worse(Ego thing).
I was heart broken/felt betrayed but i took it calmly because i was just scratching the surface of SS, and i kind of understood the distance thing. She suggested just being friends, i never replied. Then i broke and replied "sure."(mistake)

I went No Contact after a month. SS kind of kept me sane during that time but i still missed her a lot. (everything passed this is basically a mistake)She started liking some of stuff on FB. I then acted out of anger/betrayel/sadness/whatever and broke No Contact and starting messaging her friend who lived in the same state as I asking whether she was sent away or not.

Turns out her friend is LEGIT crazy and pretty much told her all this random sh*t.

She messaged me and I eventually broke :
her: why are you messaging my friend?
her: she says you're being hella annoying
(I was really confused and hurt at this point because i was asking her friend on how she was, but from other people's sources and the way her friend talked to me, she's literally psycho.)
me : What happened to us?
her : what do you mean? (i remember this, that part hurt)
me: you know what i mean..
her: well im with someone so..
me: when are you coming back to the state?
her: i dont know.. but im trying to come back.

After that, I didnt reply. About a day or two later i randomly started talking to her(Mistake). She eventually gave me her new(i dont know if it was new or not but it was a different number than before) number.

I was doing so well up until then to.. :kick:

We eventually started snap chatting a ton(Mistake), then after about 2 weeks, SS started kicking in and i asked myself what the f*ck am i doing?
-This girl basically used me for her confidence boost then threw me away once an option came, and not even a good one.
-She now has a boyfriend and i have no intent on being "friends."
-She has a boat load of childhood trauma(the symptoms of Anti-Social Personality Disorder defines her childhood..).
But i still liked/like her. :trouble: (White knight Syndrome)

So after one night after i replied to a SnapChat, SS kicked in, I decided not to reply or snap back. I renamed her name in my phone to NC1(i have other NC girls from my AFC days.. )
I didn't delete her from FB but I did hide all of her posts and hide her from the chat so It's as if I don't have her added.

Ever since then, she hasn't contacted me(witch kinda hurts) and I haven't contacted her. Earlier in the week, I noticed she actually deleted me from SnapChat.
Wouldn't be surprised if she deleted my number also. And due to my morals. I have to respect that since she now has a boyfriend, I will not interfere because my intentions are more than being friends.

Today marks 1 month of New No Contact. Haven't heard from her and she hasn't heard from me. School starts in a few weeks, and I plan on approaching and number closing a ton of girls with all of the knowledge SS has taught me
If it weren't for SS keeping me sane and talking to other girls, I would of done everything wrong all over again a long time ago. I'll admit i miss her and it's hard as hell to control yourself, but there's hope guys, just keep plowing through like I am.

But I'll be honest here, if(a big IF) she comes back to the state I'm going to get her. I still don't know if this is a good idea or not.

 

[adam225]

Good to hear you're on the right path man. Trust me, we all know how it feels. The trick is to try and remember the bad points about her and not the good. I'm still a single soldier here. We haven't spoke in nearly 7 weeks now haha. I hope it's hurting her, I really do. She caused me such a ball ache when we split up.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Just a little tip guys, try to work out your inner problems that caused you to get dumped in the first place and work on that!! Be honest about it too, no good comes to lying to yourself...your NC is a good time to work that out.

Example: are you insecure, easily jealous, trust issue, violent, emotional blackmailing, cheater...I can go on but you see my point! Spend reasonable time to evaluate yourself and then you'll feel better about yourself, the point of NC is to conquer your own demon and somehow kill it so you can be a better/stronger person.

Don't think, just do!!

I completely agree. Until these issues are worked out, you will never find a SUCCESSFUL relationship. With any woman.

 

[mkj1990]

delete

 

[Faldero456]

Son of a *****!!!

Back to day 1

:cuss:

Someone please :kick:

 

[mnl24]

2 years gone ..... We texted yesterday she said she loved me but not the arguments , today she told me she hates me and to not contact her again

 

[Thatfeel21]

Son of a *****!!!

Back to day 1

:cuss:

Someone please :kick:

What happened? Spit it out to us!