I think it's time a share my No Contact story that pretty much is the reason why i'm here.
Story:
I started talking to a girl for about a month, we sparked, but distance
(mistake) pretty much killed it. The only reason why i continued talking is because she said she may come back to the state.
We would talk basically everyday(
mistake) and she was just pretty much amazing, however i was an
RAFC at that time. Even when she was being "sent away" for getting caught smoking weed she told me how she would miss me and wouldn't ever see me, i basically sent her all this hallmark "i'll meet other people.. but i'll still be there" type of sh*t. I even went as far as getting information from people/sources on how she could pass her drug test.
Then one day she tells me saying someone asked her out and she said "
yes."
The guy was no way better looking than me(bit overweight), but looking back at it, he was on the same(maybe worse) mindset as i was: AFC/RAFC. This made me feel even worse(
Ego thing).
I was heart broken/felt betrayed but i took it calmly because i was just scratching the surface of SS, and i kind of understood the distance thing. She suggested just being friends, i never replied. Then i broke and replied "sure."
(mistake)
I went
No Contact after a month. SS kind of kept me sane during that time but i still missed her a lot. (
everything passed this is basically a mistake)She started liking some of stuff on FB. I then acted out of anger/betrayel/sadness/whatever and broke No Contact and starting messaging her friend who lived in the same state as I asking whether she was sent away or not.
Turns out her friend is
LEGIT crazy and pretty much told her all this random sh*t.
She messaged me and I eventually broke :
her: why are you messaging my friend?
her: she says you're being hella annoying
(I was really confused and hurt at this point because i was asking her friend on how she was, but from other people's sources and the way her friend talked to me, she's literally psycho.)
me : What happened to us?
her : what do you mean? (i remember this, that part hurt)
me: you know what i mean..
her: well im with someone so..
me: when are you coming back to the state?
her: i dont know.. but im trying to come back.
After that, I didnt reply. About a day or two later i randomly started talking to her
(Mistake). She eventually gave me her new(i dont know if it was new or not but it was a different number than before) number.
I was doing so well up until then to.. :kick:
We eventually started snap chatting a ton(
Mistake), then after about 2 weeks, SS started kicking in and i asked myself what the f*ck am i doing?
-This girl basically used me for her confidence boost then threw me away once an option came, and not even a good one.
-She now has a boyfriend and i have no intent on being "friends."
-She has a boat load of childhood trauma(the symptoms of Anti-Social Personality Disorder defines her childhood..).
But i still liked/like her. :trouble: (White knight Syndrome)
So after one night after i replied to a SnapChat, SS kicked in, I decided not to reply or snap back. I renamed her name in my phone to NC1(i have other NC girls from my AFC days..
)
I didn't delete her from FB but I did hide all of her posts and hide her from the chat so It's as if I don't have her added.
Ever since then, she hasn't contacted me(witch kinda hurts) and I haven't contacted her. Earlier in the week, I noticed she actually deleted me from SnapChat.
Wouldn't be surprised if she deleted my number also. And due to my morals. I have to respect that since she now has a boyfriend, I will not interfere because my intentions are more than being friends.
Today marks 1 month of New No Contact. Haven't heard from her and she hasn't heard from me. School starts in a few weeks, and I plan on approaching and number closing a ton of girls with all of the knowledge SS has taught me
If it weren't for SS keeping me sane and talking to other girls, I would of done everything wrong all over again a long time ago. I'll admit i miss her and it's hard as hell to control yourself, but there's hope guys, just keep plowing through like I am.
But I'll be honest here, if(a big IF) she comes back to the state I'm going to get her. I still don't know if this is a good idea or not.