The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Weezy]

Weezy, her b-day was yesterday. Continuing NC, 72 days now. The mental challenge was a good one. I spent the day with friends and went out last night. I came close to sending something but with the help of friends and printed posts from this forum, I made it. I am not sure how to feel about it all, but at least I didn't break radio silence. It feels weird though, but oh well, it passed. Late.

Nice work. It's for the best.

I'm still fn struggling too. I'm wondering how long it's gonna take till I feel normal again. Is this feeling eventually gonna heal? Or do I need to get a new chick to make it.

I try and not talk about her with my buddies anymore, really just let my emotions out here.

I still wonder if I told her I want to marry her if that would make any difference, but if I'm 100% honest with myself, I never felt like she was the one.

I feel like I keep fn up with new chicks I meet. Just want to be able to feel good about **** in life.

As I approach my 60 days, I'm realizing that it's probably not gonna be a magical switch.

 

[V2Logger]

Nice work. It's for the best.

I'm still fn struggling too. I'm wondering how long it's gonna take till I feel normal again. Is this feeling eventually gonna heal? Or do I need to get a new chick to make it.

I try and not talk about her with my buddies anymore, really just let my emotions out here.

I still wonder if I told her I want to marry her if that would make any difference, but if I'm 100% honest with myself, I never felt like she was the one.

I feel like I keep fn up with new chicks I meet. Just want to be able to feel good about **** in life.

As I approach my 60 days, I'm realizing that it's probably not gonna be a magical switch.

Hey, I would just go out to have fun right now. Don't compare girls to the ex., that is a challenge in itself. Once you feel comfortable around different environments, that will be a sign of it passing.

I have been going out alot with different people, they bring friends (female) and I hang out with them. I talk to them to improve the skill. I know it's challenging, but stay focused on yourself right now.

I didn't think I was going to make it, but hey I did. The Bday deal was a big challenge for me. Now I have to keep going. Stay strong man.

 

[Miles28]

-

Got dumped today (November 4 2009). Posted about the situation in another thread (Car Wreck early on in relationship).

Basically treated this girl extremely well. Supported her financially, emotionally. Was dependable, loving, expressed emotions, etc. All the things I shouldn't have done so early. Then after one stupid argument (which occurred because she suddenly said 'I want to take things more slowly' - this after I was pounding her and she was telling me 'more, more!' the week before) she told me she 'can't trust me' and doesn't want to risk putting herself through a hurtful situation. Great so a month of expensive dinners, attention, compliments, support, etc is totally negated by one minor argument. Yeah, right.

So even though this girl is a total b**** for some stupid reason it still hurts. So from today no contact.

 

[Miles28]

I'm a total f***** p***y. 5 hours in after telling her no contact and I contact her. There is no hope for me. I'm just so stunned that this happened and I can't believe it. Damn this sucks. I know she's not even a good person or the right person for me but I still feel so messed up. Ridiculous.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

You're not going to get out of this with the girl anyway Miles, might as well get out with your dignity intact. Your future self 2-3 months from now that doesn't care as much will be glad you didn't humiliate yourself or lose your dignity.

 

[Miles28]

Curtainfalls,

I know. You're right. Im sickening myself and fully deserve the pain and humiliation that will come my way. This happened about 8 years ago to me. Since then I became much better and never lost control to such a ridiculous extent. When I met this girl I had 4 others on the go and didn't feel at all attached to any of them. Somehow this cunning b**** managed to convince me that she wasn't like all other girls. She piled on the compliments, would always talk about how she couldn't believe how lucky she was to have someone like me, how she knew there was no way I would ever stick around for long, etc. Within a few short weeks somehow she flipped the game around on me totally and is now the one with all the power and who doesn't care. Why do we remain infatuated with women we know are total *****? It's so wrong. The funny thing is that if I'd just played it cool I know exactly what would have happened. She would be eating out of my hand then a couple of months down the line I would be bored with her and end up being indifferent and confident and she would have loved me more and more as I cared less and less. What a total f***wit I am!!!

There's just this horrible part of us men that thinks if only we can make the b**** see things the way we do then they will come round and realise the errors of their heinous ways. It doesn't work like that though does it?

 

[bish0p]

All right, I'm on board.

Dated a milf for a year, treated her like ****, broke up with her a bunch of times. She finally got fed up with my lying and trying to make her jealous, and started dating someone else. I turned into a puss the past few weeks, but I'm ready to move on.

Eh, I'm better off without her.

Day: 1

 

[Weezy]

All right, I'm on board.

Dated a milf for a year, treated her like ****, broke up with her a bunch of times. She finally got fed up with my lying and trying to make her jealous, and started dating someone else. I turned into a puss the past few weeks, but I'm ready to move on.

Eh, I'm better off without her.

Day: 1

Describe what you mean by turned into a puss, was this before or after the break?

 

[bish0p]

Describe what you mean by turned into a puss, was this before or after the break?

Well, we've been off and on the past 7 months (mostly on for the first 4 months and mostly off for the last 3). I would always break up with her, but I would either call her back, or she would call me. I never stayed with my decision to completely break things off with her.

Earlier this year, she was ready to settle down with me, but I always told her that I didn't want to get married and that I wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not....she can't have kids.

But, once I started seeing that she didn't need me these past 3 months, I started changing all of this around. She didn't play into my games anymore (I would always ignore her and not call for weeks). But, whenever she would initiate contact first, I would go to her immediately. I also started telling her that I was certain that I didn't want kids and that I wanted to marry her.

I constantly apologized to her and let her ***** at me for whatever reason. Of course, I would stand up for myself, but inside, I didn't want to upset her.

Then, when she told me she had met this new guy a few weeks ago, I begged and pleaded with her not to leave me; however, I called her back the next day and cursed her out, insulted her, and told her how I cheated on her. Then, I apologized for doing that.

I just keep trying to go back to her whenever calls me.

 

[Weezy]

Well, we've been off and on the past 7 months (mostly on for the first 4 months and mostly off for the last 3). I would always break up with her, but I would either call her back, or she would call me. I never stayed with my decision to completely break things off with her.

Earlier this year, she was ready to settle down with me, but I always told her that I didn't want to get married and that I wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not....she can't have kids.

But, once I started seeing that she didn't need me these past 3 months, I started changing all of this around. She didn't play into my games anymore (I would always ignore her and not call for weeks). But, whenever she would initiate contact first, I would go to her immediately. I also started telling her that I was certain that I didn't want kids and that I wanted to marry her.

I constantly apologized to her and let her ***** at me for whatever reason. Of course, I would stand up for myself, but inside, I didn't want to upset her.

Then, when she told me she had met this new guy a few weeks ago, I begged and pleaded with her not to leave me; however, I called her back the next day and cursed her out, insulted her, and told her how I cheated on her. Then, I apologized for doing that.

I just keep trying to go back to her whenever calls me.

No offense but you seem like sort of a loose cannon. I can't ever imagine telling a chick I cheated on her and expecting it to ever work again.

 

[Weezy]

Pain

**** is still hurting, still digging at my heart. How long has it been.... gotta count... 53 days since hugged and went our separate ways.

I've not called 1x, not looked at any Facebook or anything else, I'm suspect she jumped right into another relationship, but I have no proof.

The more I think about it, the more I cannot blame her at all for leaving. I had threatened to break it off. She made it clear she wanted to get married, I never talked of our future, never talked about anything in the future regarding the two of us.

**** hurts. Feel like I'm being a little *****. Still thinking of breaking NC and saying I'm ready for marriage but I feel like she would just **** on my heart if I did that.

One thing that I question, keeping myself in limbo as to what she's doing, is it just prolonging the pain, or is it really easier this way? If I knew she ****ed me over for another guy, it might hurt more at first, but allow me to hate her and move on? But then I come back to the fact that even if she did, it wasn't because she like another guy, but because she had spent 3 years waiting for me to show her something more than I was down for her to come **** me 3x a week and hang out one maybe two weekends a month.

 

[bish0p]

No offense but you seem like sort of a loose cannon. I can't ever imagine telling a chick I cheated on her and expecting it to ever work again.

Yeah, admittedly I am. Which is why I'm trying to seek out emotional stability right now, but I'm at a complete loss. I just don't have the motivation I had 5 weeks ago.

As for cheating, I told her that, but really, it was kind of a weird situation. I was having an affair with a married girl before her for about a year. The married girl left to go live with her husband, but continued to hold on to me.

I dated in between that time, and when I met the older woman, I had only plans to sleep with her. I never planned on getting attached. We had only been dating for a few months and the married girl got jealous and decided to come down for a visit. She stayed with me for a week and you can guess what happened.

I never told my ex, but she knew that the other girl was staying with me and didn't seem concerned about it until a little while later when she admitted to it hurting her.

I always denied the fact that I slept with the married woman, but my ex always suspected something...and I didn't tell her finally until I got angry with her for leaving me for another guy.

 

[Jean Valjean]

Hey guys chill

I made contact on 10/26 got tired of all this same pov and did it my way. So broke 35 days NC YAHOO!

Postive results

 

[Weezy]

Hey guys chill

I made contact on 10/26 got tired of all this same pov and did it my way. So broke 35 days NC YAHOO!

Postive results

Oh yeah, what happened?

 

[Jean Valjean]

Oh yeah, what happened?

well my gut said she would never contact me so damn it, being a rebel I broke NC and sent her an email

just got cool responses, then I called her and stayed on less then 10 minutes
also cool responses

finally she confesses " I have someone in my life now" so bottom line is that while I was NC she went out and got herself a new man who won her over
they spend the entire weekends together and go on trips upstate and such

so,

I just told her I would be her friend if she ever needs me - she said I was a really good, kind guy


BUT at least now I know and can go happily on my way - feeling quite relieved actually since I did not think we would ever work out and it would have ended badly - too many red flags

Almost wrote her a soppy love letter telling her that I was happy that she is happy but now don't feel the need to waste paper and ink any more

Positive thing is I can move on. I think she did us both a favor!

Man up don't be a pusssy and get some good closure at LEAST then you'll know - an ostrich with his head in the sand does not move on.


ps
did not go on this site for a while - I think it is slanted very much on a single POV you need to get a balance see what women and other guys think. Believe me there are other viewpoints. I've met some players over 50 who do everything here and live sad, unfulfilled lonely lives chasing poon. Don't want to wind up like one of them!

Probably some so called DJ will hit me with another negative (red dot) for expressing an opinion that does not conform with the party line.

 

[Weezy]

Interesting......

So the good that came out of it was that she does have another guy, but now you can move on?

Part of me thinks this absolute worse case scenario of breaking NC

This is exactly why I don't wanna call her up, to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she still has me AND she has a new guy, which she can rub in my face.

The thing I can take away from this is that women swing from branches.

 

[Jean Valjean]

Interesting......

So the good that came out of it was that she does have another guy, but now you can move on?

Part of me thinks this absolute worse case scenario of breaking NC

This is exactly why I don't wanna call her up, to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she still has me AND she has a new guy, which she can rub in my face.

The thing I can take away from this is that women swing from branches.

A hot woman can get a decent man far easier than we can get a hot woman. So if they are looking for a relationship they will swing from branches after they have let you go. Even if emotions are involved the best cure is a rebound man or woman.

My woman was trying to get rid of me since June 1 after she had a panic attack when I left her in a angry way. Not being divorced yet, I could not commit and she has a real huge fear of growing old alone.

She had her reasons. Its not just about me. I can't blame her so for trying to find someone else so I wish her well.


ps
There is too much anger in the world already. I think if someone had your heart and meant so much to you once, you should stay their friend to the end.

just my take

 

[Weezy]

A hot woman can get a decent man far easier than we can get a hot woman. So if they are looking for a relationship they will swing from branches after they have let you go. Even if emotions are involved the best cure is a rebound man or woman.

My woman was trying to get rid of me since June 1 after she had a panic attack when I left her in a angry way. Not being divorced yet, I could not commit and she has a real huge fear of growing old alone.

She had her reasons. Its not just about me. I can't blame her so for trying to find someone else so I wish her well.


ps
There is too much anger in the world already. I think if someone had your heart and meant so much to you once, you should stay their friend to the end.

just my take

I agree, I think I am still holding onto hope that if I don't break NC, she will do it first and I'll get her back.

I'm guessing she was in the process of swinging once she realized I had no plans of upping our commitment in the near future and were about to hit our 3 year mark.

 

[V2Logger]

How's it going Weezy,
It's better than getting close to a 6 year mark. I am still NC. Things are looking better now for me. I started dating. At least I waited more than 2 months before I got out there again.

Remember the b-day challenge? I pulled through, who knows what effect it had on her, but for me it was like something I had to endure to keep moving. I spent money updating my exhaust system and it was cheaper than paying for a present if we were still together.

I know she had a branch she grabbed before letting this one go. But for me, I am doing alot better now, at least I met someone that has already cooked me dinner. My ex, never did, she was just good with a microwave. LOL.

 

[luckystory]

will try

gonna try nc, but its so hard. worst thing is she not a ***** or anything. In fact she great but i need nc as its got to the ljbf, after 2 yr of shagging. My fault really as i wouldnt commit. As im not getting any im gonna try nc.

started nc 2 days ago but really issed her and rang but no answer, either she sleeping or she with some1 else or even worst sleeping with some1 else.
im worried i wont even last till the weekend.

So guys when you want to contact her what do you do instead??