The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[V2Logger]

Amen to Igetit!. Weezy, stay cool, out of sight out of mind, lay low. I feel better now, and it's true, you do need to hear it so it brands into your brain. It will get better, just keep busy and improve yourself. Late.

 

[Weezy]

Amen to Igetit!. Weezy, stay cool, out of sight out of mind, lay low. I feel better now, and it's true, you do need to hear it so it brands into your brain. It will get better, just keep busy and improve yourself. Late.

Thanks for the suppor! Holding strong!

 

[acehole]

Ive been there. Going no contact makes you look stronger in her eyes. Yea she can be with another dude but you will be on her mind regardless because the new guy is just there to fill a void for her. Whether she is hard headed or not depends but deep down inside she would love to talk to you again if you went no contact for a while.

I was with my current fvcked up gf for 2 years broke up and went no contact basically for 2.5 years. One day I decided to call her after all that time and we started talking again. She said I still think about you etc. I then mentioned her ex man (rebound after me) who was a loser, ugly etc. she was like he was my rebound man because I was hurt but i really didnt care about him. Well we ended getting back together into another LTR and its been over a year but now sh1t is fvcked up because of typical BPD/AW sh1t but the whole point is if i didnt go NC and just called her etc she wouldve never wouldve let another LTR with us happen. Im not saying go NC for 2.5yrs like me but go like 2 or 3 months and after that you can call them up and try to steer sh1t in the direction you want. She will be more responsive than if you were calling and texting right ater you broke up.

 

[Cure]

Argh!
I need to cut contact, I don't ever want to see my ex again and I havn't seen her for over 6 months now. I spoke to her on the phone for an hour or so and it brought back so many memories, made me realise how much I hate that shes with another guy, and how much im NOT over her despite it being six months.

The problem is, we have a son together, who I've also not seen for 6 months, and I need to get back into his life and be a great dad to him, he diserves it, which means I need to face her, and her new partner, and have it rubbed in my face by my vengefull ex that shes happy and im not. dammit!

Just wanted to vent, thanks for listening internet.

To any of you guys who are doing "no contact", stay strong, and remember its good that you have the option to never see them again.

 

[Weezy]

Ive been there. Going no contact makes you look stronger in her eyes. Yea she can be with another dude but you will be on her mind regardless because the new guy is just there to fill a void for her. Whether she is hard headed or not depends but deep down inside she would love to talk to you again if you went no contact for a while.

I was with my current fvcked up gf for 2 years broke up and went no contact basically for 2.5 years. One day I decided to call her after all that time and we started talking again. She said I still think about you etc. I then mentioned her ex man (rebound after me) who was a loser, ugly etc. she was like he was my rebound man because I was hurt but i really didnt care about him. Well we ended getting back together into another LTR and its been over a year but now sh1t is fvcked up because of typical BPD/AW sh1t but the whole point is if i didnt go NC and just called her etc she wouldve never wouldve let another LTR with us happen. Im not saying go NC for 2.5yrs like me but go like 2 or 3 months and after that you can call them up and try to steer sh1t in the direction you want. She will be more responsive than if you were calling and texting right ater you broke up.

I know that after 2 or 3 months, my head will be clearer. Not sure if I will ever break NC though. Depends on how I feel down the road.

The only thing that I could offer would be that we get engaged and have a family at this point. We've been through a couple break ups already and it all stems from her not feeling like I give her enough of myself or me feeling like she is just a little too crazy.

 

[Igetit!]

I was with my current fvcked up gf for 2 years broke up and went no contact basically for 2.5 years.

So after you two broke up,you were apart from each other to almost 3 years.

What did you do doing that time? Did you meet and date other girls,or did you spend the whole 2 and a half years thinking about her?

Well we ended getting back together into another LTR and its been over a year but now sh1t is fvcked up because of typical BPD/AW sh1t

This was the point I was trying to make in my first post here.

You two dated,broke up,went two and a half years without seeing each other,then got back together,and the same problems that were present and caused the original break up are still here...almost 3 years later.



So that means the REAL reason the relationship failed was never fixed in the first place,it just got covered up by the feelings and emotions of you two MISSING EACH OTHER.




Then once you two got back used to being arond each other and the feelings of missing each other went away,then the original reason you two split up almost 4 years ago came back up to the surface.


That's why you said...

now sh1t is fvcked up

but the whole point is if i didnt go NC and just called her etc she wouldve never wouldve let another LTR with us happen.

I agree with what you said here.

I just don't understand WHY anybody would want to be in a relationship that's as you say,"Fvcked up".



More than likely,sooner or later one of you is going to get tired of being in this "fvcked up" situation and just more on...and this time for good.

Im not saying go NC for 2.5yrs like me but go like 2 or 3 months and after that you can call them up and try to steer sh1t in the direction you want. She will be more responsive than if you were calling and texting right ater you broke up.

Well I'm against doing this,but it's a free country. It's like I said before,the hurt of the breakup is still fresh.




If Weezy wants to contact her again,it's probably BECAUSE HE MISSES HER,NOT BECAUSE the original cause of the breakup was fixed.




To me,simply being with someone isn't enough. I want to be happy in the relationship as well.



But to each his own.

 

[Weezy]

So after you two broke up,you were apart from each other to almost 3 years.

What did you do doing that time? Did you meet and date other girls,or did you spend the whole 2 and a half years thinking about her?



This was the point I was trying to make in my first post here.

You two dated,broke up,went two and a half years without seeing each other,then got back together,and the same problems that were present and caused the original break up are still here...almost 3 years later.



So that means the REAL reason the relationship failed was never fixed in the first place,it just got covered up by the feelings and emotions of you two MISSING EACH OTHER.




Then once you two got back used to being arond each other and the feelings of missing each other went away,then the original reason you two split up almost 4 years ago came back up to the surface.


That's why you said...






I agree with what you said here.

I just don't understand WHY anybody would want to be in a relationship that's as you say,"Fvcked up".



More than likely,sooner or later one of you is going to get tired of being in this "fvcked up" situation and just more on...and this time for good.



Well I'm against doing this,but it's a free country. It's like I said before,the hurt of the breakup is still fresh.




If Weezy wants to contact her again,it's probably BECAUSE HE MISSES HER,NOT BECAUSE the original cause of the breakup was fixed.




To me,simply being with someone isn't enough. I want to be happy in the relationship as well.



But to each his own.

Sick post.

 

[acehole]

Well its not me its her. No really. All her relationships end up like this. She just gets unhappy about herself or situation and starts fvcking everything up. I just handle the situations differently than her other bfs but still she does the same sh1t to everyone she dates. She even said one time she is in a vicious cycle and sabotages relationships etc. I was like you sure do.
Yea during the NC i dated went back to school yadda yadda. I didnt sit there for years crying in bed. I lived a normal life. I thought about her here and there.

What it comes down too is yea u can break up but how you react is the main thing. You act like a pvssy crying to her no way shell get back. You say go fvck yourself basically and walk away laughing then yea you can go NC and contact in the near future just as long as you act non needy and confident.

I was dating this chick for a short time she broke it off so I was like uh ok whatever. 2 weeks later shes dying to talk to me and I finally give in. She was like wow I was surprised you dindnt try to contact me after we broke up. I was like well you wanted it so you got it.

 

[V2Logger]

Igetit!,that post is so true. Why open up the same wound again, right? It was all really hard for me in the 1st 30 days. But now I feel like it is more like something that is behind me only whispering instead of slapping me in the face like in the beginning of the first 30. You'll see Weezy, right before the 60 day mark it will shout again, but not for long. When it tones down to a whisper and a memory, that's when you hear your "own" footsteps again. Let stress, stress itself out, you don't stress.

 

[Igetit!]

What it comes down too is yea u can break up but how you react is the main thing. You act like a pvssy crying to her no way shell get back. You say go fvck yourself basically and walk away laughing then yea you can go NC and contact in the near future just as long as you act non needy and confident.

Exactly. I 100% agree.

But with me,I do this not as some kind of trick or tactic to get her back,I do it FOR MYSELF,for MY OWN peace of mind,self-esteem, and mental health.



Because if you're mentally screwed up when you're alone,getting some girl won't fix it.



You'll just be a screwed up person with a girlfriend...until she sees how messed up you are.





If you constantly keep contacting someone who told you they no longer want you to be part of their life,it'll erode you mind,your self-respect,your sense of self as a person.



It's painful enough to be dumped in the initial breakup,but to have that pain constantly re-lived and unnecessarily revived and prolonged each time you contact her only to have her slam the door in your face again?


NO.


Once is enough for me.

I was dating this chick for a short time she broke it off so I was like uh ok whatever. 2 weeks later shes dying to talk to me and I finally give in. She was like wow I was surprised you dindnt try to contact me after we broke up.

Oh,I CAN'T STAND THIS.

She broke up with you then told you she was "surprised" you didn't try to contact her,as if she was ALL THAT.


She made it sound as if she was the only woman on the planet,and you had no other alternatives besides her.


How condescending.

Why open up the same wound again,right?

Exactly.

If a girl breaks up with you,she knows what she's doing. She knows she could lose you. If she really,really,liked you and wanted you,she wouldn't take that chance.




If I take a thousand dollars in cash and set in on a table in a room full of people,then walk out the room,I ALREADY KNOW I'm taking a chance at losing it.



Therefore,I'd never do that. I'd never take a chance at losing something of great value to me.




If a girl dumps you,then it means you've lost value in her eyes. Otherwise she'd never take a chance at losing you.


She knows what she's doing.



I wouldn't degrade myself going back to a woman who told me she wanted me out of her life.

 

[Weezy]

Igetit!,that post is so true. Why open up the same wound again, right? It was all really hard for me in the 1st 30 days. But now I feel like it is more like something that is behind me only whispering instead of slapping me in the face like in the beginning of the first 30. You'll see Weezy, right before the 60 day mark it will shout again, but not for long. When it tones down to a whisper and a memory, that's when you hear your "own" footsteps again. Let stress, stress itself out, you don't stress.

I hope so man. I had another sleepless night last night. Just keep thinking about all the nice stuff she did, and all the bad stuff I didn't like seems so petty now. And how she tried sooo hard to get me to marry her. Not sure why your mind makes you go through this hell. If I could just lay down in bed and sleep for a solid 8 hours, I would be so much better off.

NC is some hardcore sh1t. Still messes with my mind that she was in my bed one night, the next night she's cooking me dinner, asks how it is, BS's about some ****, then BAM! BTW we'll never see each other again, can't waste anymore time in this relationship, peace! It's like she just died.

 

[V2Logger]

That's what they mean by the "loss" they talk about. You're gonna have these times, trying to rationalize. Look, today I found some old cards that I could have opened, but chose not to when I was cleaning out my truck. I thought I shredded the majority of them. I left them in their envelopes. Why open the wound again for myself? We have to keep moving, involve ourselves in other things. It's those times when you have your mind to yourself that you will have these moments. When you have these thoughts, I have found it useful to say "it's over" in my head till the feeling passes. Your mind has to learn to bend itself back into shape like steel does when it becomes deformed. When I woke up at night, the first thing I used to say was that, "it's over". Better yourself, be with friends and family you didn't have time for before and keep busy.

 

[Jean Valjean]

Hey Wheezy

I've given you alot of feedback, so help me out. Today is day 30 for me and I feel like emailing my ex gf today out of boredom and curiosity. Maybe just ask to be her friend on facebook - I had deleted her. What do you think?

Is it suicide? I was the one to call it quits with her when she wanted to go slow (friends first and control the frame) unless she wanted intimacy but she has yet to contact me to say yes I want intimacy. I gave her an out and she has not taken it.

Damn I get so sentimental when I think of our first few meetings in May. We were like Tony and Maria or romeo and julliet felt like love of my life.

 

[Weezy]

I've given you alot of feedback, so help me out. Today is day 30 for me and I feel like emailing my ex gf today out of boredom and curiosity. Maybe just ask to be her friend on facebook - I had deleted her. What do you think?

Is it suicide? I was the one to call it quits with her when she wanted to go slow (friends first and control the frame) unless she wanted intimacy but she has yet to contact me to say yes I want intimacy. I gave her an out and she has not taken it.

Damn I get so sentimental when I think of our first few meetings in May. We were like Tony and Maria or romeo and julliet felt like love of my life.

Haha.. So funny that you ask this, I'm thinking the same thing, maybe if I told her I was ready to marry her, it would be enough to get her back.

So from a objective point of view, I would say that if she wanted you back, she would have you back. Your 30 days of NC will be for nothing if you don't get the reaction you want.

From your earlier posts it sounds like she made it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything to do with you.

You told me just to go for it, and I decided against it because I think I'm just grabbing at straws and it would be the ultimate blow to my ego if I contact her and proposed this idea out of left field.

My vote would be No.

 

[Jean Valjean]

does this raise any hopes?

Haha.. So funny that you ask this, I'm thinking the same thing, maybe if I told her I was ready to marry her, it would be enough to get her back.

So from a objective point of view, I would say that if she wanted you back, she would have you back. Your 30 days of NC will be for nothing if you don't get the reaction you want.

From your earlier posts it sounds like she made it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything to do with you.

You told me just to go for it, and I decided against it because I think I'm just grabbing at straws and it would be the ultimate blow to my ego if I contact her and proposed this idea out of left field.

My vote would be No.

Below was my final em to her after she didn't want to come back to my place again and said we were just friends.

As you can see I left her a big loophole to get me back ... and it is day 30 with NC. Pasting refers to when we were pasted together in our first few weeks. Comments? It was a true AFC farewell. Recently a mutual friend said Missy said to say hi to me ...does this raise any hopes?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Missy,

I will be honest with you. I'm sure you would be a very nice friend, but 'just friends' does not work. I want passion, committment and pasting. You said that you are still in love with Vinny so I hope that one day, you two will get back together again.

Some day if you feel more then just friends and if I am still interested or available ... maybe we can pick up. After today, no more email or phone calls. If you have true feelings .. you would show it in your actions. Unless you write in the subject line of an email "I want to come over", I will delete the email without reading it.

I kept my promise to you on the banks of Clove Lake and am leaving as your friend who never hurt you. Thanks for the great times we had together. Have a good life and take great care of yourself.

JVJ


>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

[Weezy]

Below was my final em to her after she didn't want to come back to my place again and said we were just friends.

As you can see I left her a big loophole to get me back ... and it is day 30 with NC. Pasting refers to when we were pasted together in our first few weeks. Comments? It was a true AFC farewell. Recently a mutual friend said Missy said to say hi to me ...does this raise any hopes?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Missy,

I will be honest with you. I'm sure you would be a very nice friend, but 'just friends' does not work. I want passion, committment and pasting. You said that you are still in love with Vinny so I hope that one day, you two will get back together again.

Some day if you feel more then just friends and if I am still interested or available ... maybe we can pick up. After today, no more email or phone calls. If you have true feelings .. you would show it in your actions. Unless you write in the subject line of an email "I want to come over", I will delete the email without reading it.

I kept my promise to you on the banks of Clove Lake and am leaving as your friend who never hurt you. Thanks for the great times we had together. Have a good life and take great care of yourself.

JVJ


>>>>>>>>>>>>

I wouldn't contact her. She has ALL the power.

 

[Jean Valjean]

I wouldn't contact her. She has ALL the power.

Thanks .. you're right she has all the power

unfortunately I gave her that with the hugh loophole to have me back any time

 

[V2Logger]

Just lay low. Look, in my case it has been 60 days + a few now. I left off in my last text Aug. 19, "we should talk, maybe in Sept.", she responded, "I'll have to think abut it". Have I called her? No. Has she called me? No. Well, obviously she has moved on, and like they have said in previous threads, actions speak louder than words. Her birthday is next week, had it been within the first 15 or 30 days, I might have sent a text to tell her happy B-day. But will I? No. I have no place doing so anymore, I am not her b-friend, and thinking on how cold she has been from the break at the end of July, it wouldn't be politically correct. I haven't broke NC. Everyday gets easier with the time that passes. Just lay low and stay busy.

 

[Weezy]

Just lay low. Look, in my case it has been 60 days + a few now. I left off in my last text Aug. 19, "we should talk, maybe in Sept.", she responded, "I'll have to think abut it". Have I called her? No. Has she called me? No. Well, obviously she has moved on, and like they have said in previous threads, actions speak louder than words. Her birthday is next week, had it been within the first 15 or 30 days, I might have sent a text to tell her happy B-day. But will I? No. I have no place doing so anymore, I am not her b-friend, and thinking on how cold she has been from the break at the end of July, it wouldn't be politically correct. I haven't broke NC. Everyday gets easier with the time that passes. Just lay low and stay busy.

Big Props.

 

[Weezy]

Rant

Need ta get some **** out. feel free to ignore this rant.

My mind just won't let go of this Chick. I know she's just a Chick, I know that I've got her on a pedestal. I know that I can pull quality tail. I've never gone more than 1 year with a GF since I was 15

I didn't give her enough of my time, and I know that. She mentioned it multiple times.

She wanted to get married, wanted me to be with her always. Always hinted, friends asked.

I didn't think she was marriage material though, yet I couldn't let her go. WTF? She spent 3 years with me, she broke it off 1x after two years, and gave me another chance cause I said I would change.

I'm regretting just walking away when she broke it off.. Chick was setting something up though before she broke it off. I just feel it, haven't looked at a FB or anything though to confirm.

She always had guy friends pop up in her life, and I would get mad at her cause they would cause issues. Is it messed up that I get pissed at her for making guy friends? I know what guy friends are all about with girls and it pisses me off. But when you only hang out 3 nights a week and don't make time for her during her days off, wtf else is she supposed to do, sit home and not do anything?

In the end though, our relationship was rocky. She kept telling me she wanted to take care of me. But the ho slapped me. during a heated argument WTF?, how can you be with someone who will slap you in a heated argument?

Why do I keep thinking that I have another card to play because I was so tough during the breakup? is the 38 days of NC effecting her, or is she just getting boned by her "friend" and could give a **** less?

I turned into an AFC the last week or our relationship, I started to call her instead of the other way around, and was more affectionate then I normally was cause I could sense that something was up. would it have mattered if I didn't? Nah, she knew after our the slapping thing that I was thinking of ending it too. Why didn't I check her phone when my gut told me to? at least then I coulda dropped her first and walked away knowing she was a cheater. Now I have no proof.

Why do I obsess about this if I didn't feel like she was the one when I was with her?

Is she ever gonna fn call? This **** sucks.