The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[ItsBeenAWhile]

Day 7. Better than day 6 because I tried staying more busy. No trouble during the day. Saw her in my dreams again at night though and it had me incredibly distressed. More in control now that I'm awake. Nothing significant to note really. I've been making plans on what new hobbies I should pick up moving forward. All in all I'm going to be a completely different person in the next 30 days. Almost unbelievably.

 

[Baibars]

Day 7. Better than day 6 because I tried staying more busy. No trouble during the day. Saw her in my dreams again at night though and it had me incredibly distressed. More in control now that I'm awake. Nothing significant to note really. I've been making plans on what new hobbies I should pick up moving forward. All in all I'm going to be a completely different person in the next 30 days. Almost unbelievably.

there are bad days and good days until there are mostly good days I guess. It’s the same for me. Healing or any kind of progress happens gradually.

 

[soulforge]

I would strongly recommend you guys hitting the gym right now, if you're in NC

 

[Glassguy]

Day 60!
Slept with quite a few women in the past 60 days and sone good dates as well.
Recently met a little fireball who has a great personality, attractive and seems to be worth spending more time with.

I honestly don't even think about my ex that often, which is weird and amazing at the same time.
But when I do, its not about good times. If she ever reaches out she's only going to hear my silence.

 

[soulforge]

Day 60!
Slept with quite a few women in the past 60 days and sone good dates as well.
Recently met a little fireball who has a great personality, attractive and seems to be worth spending more time with.

I honestly don't even think about my ex that often, which is weird and amazing at the same time.
But when I do, its not about good times. If she ever reaches out she's only going to hear my silence.

Banging a bunch of other women does help.

 

[NSX-R]

UPDATE---I am on 3 weeks of no contact. My ex reached out to my mom through text and told her that she will be sending my kids some gifts for thanksgiving in the mail to them. My mom said my ex didnt mention a word about me. It was all asking about how my kids are doing. Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids)? I find it odd she didnt ask anything about me. Why wouldnt she wanna know how im doing???

The way i see it, as my recent ex had also a kid that i loved as my own, maybe she really had interest for your kids . Since she contacted your mother and not you, she did it to show that she don’t want to contact you or makes you think that she’s doing it for you . If you accept the gifts then i consider it professional courtesy to thank her but you could also say nothing. The only thing i would consider if i was a parent, if it is good to continue letting your kids be in contact with her considering she’s not in your life . I mean you can’t let a stranger be in contact with your kids and at the same time being in no talking terms. That’s what also my ex told me when we decided to break up . I told her i don’t even want to say hello to her when we meet but if her kid wants to see me i will always be there for him and she said that’s impossible cause i can’t be in contact with the kid and not with with her , they are both the same .
I believe it’s for the kids good to know if they ever knew your ex , that she’s not in your life anymore for reasons not related to them and it’s better if they are not in contact with her anymore . I believe at first it would be hard for them if they were close but with time it’s going to be good fir them .Just my opinion being to the other side .

 

[Baibars]

Day 13
It’s been almost 2 weeks No contact.
Before that I spent 2 month trying to get her back but nothing helped.
Yeah I know it wasn’t the smartest thing to do but I was very attached and felt guilty since I was the one that kept leaving her during our relationship because I knew anything long term would be wrong with that person.
What gave me the final wake up slap was our „date“ 2 weeks ago. I had to wait and ask for 2 weeks until she agreed to meet. She treated me like a friend and didn’t want anything physical.
we had a talk and when I asked to fix things she asked me if I want her to act like she wants this. She was in my car and I was devastated while she didn’t care anymore.

I asked her to leave and didn’t contact her since then which was the right decision.
She didn’t text me too and I think she won’t do it.
If she does I won’t reply because she initiated contact during this 2 month phase when I wanted her back but she wouldn’t meet or try to get back with me so a text from her means nothing.
I’m moving on and I’m stopping to be delusional but I can’t stay I never think of her. I’m sure she doesn’t. We had a really intense relationship and I spent a lot of time with her. These memories keep popping but it gets less and less.

things I do to get better:
- Gym 3x and running on rest days
- reconnected with a friend and I regularly visit my family
- met 4 girls after my break up but didn’t feel good and I’m not ready for anything emotional
- I’m not a social person. I basically only have a best friend and my family think about joining a boxing gym

I feel bad spending a lot of time with girls right now. A girl stayed at my place last weekend but I was annoyed by her after sex.

mentally I feel good. It’s getting better every day. In the morning it’s the worst but throughout the day it gets better and I don’t feel depressed all the time like I did when I tried to fix things and was stuck.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 60.

Right after we broke up, I left her place, crashed my bike, got a broken collar bone.
She called me the next day I picked, we chat, I said everything she wanted to hear, and puff, gone. This was friday.

I got the surgery on monday, and only tuesday she texted me saying 'if I wanted, she could try to visit me' ........ f off
I said I was leaving the hospital thatday so it wasnt needed.

Called me 2 days later asking how I was. This time I was brief, and asked if she wanted anything, she said no, just want to know if you are allright. I said I was, than said I had to work, and hung up.

A few hours later, she texted me saying that she wished that I recovered soon enough, and that I forgot my glasses at her place, for me to tell her when I wanted to visit her to get them. I replied, o k .

That was the last time I spoke to her. That's 60 days ago.

Fkd 2 chicks along the way. Hooked up with 5.

I did some low frame sh!t reposting some stories from chicks that posted me, in order to get to her nerves.
She saw them all, to no effect.

But aside from that, absolutely no contact. I've also now decided to completely vanish from social networks.
Looking back, I regret reposting the stories, because even if it was other chicks posting, which show some value, it gave light to her of where I was, and what I was doing, where the best course of action is actually vanish.

Anyway, I am now a seasoned expert of handling NC (and crying alone in the WC hahaha), so not calling, texting and cheking her medias is easy peasy.

Now, here I am again at the hospital, writing in bed, after the second surgery I just had 2 days ago, because the damage from the bike acident affected the leg as well.

But, despite being hospitalized again, going NC, I actually feel good about my self.

Still miss the b(tch evey now and them. But got my sh(t back together, and the pain is not as excruciating pain as before

 

[Baibars]

Day 60.

Right after we broke up, I left her place, crashed my bike, got a broken collar bone.
She called me the next day I picked, we chat, I said everything she wanted to hear, and puff, gone. This was friday.

I got the surgery on monday, and only tuesday she texted me saying 'if I wanted, she could try to visit me' ........ f off
I said I was leaving the hospital thatday so it wasnt needed.

Called me 2 days later asking how I was. This time I was brief, and asked if she wanted anything, she said no, just want to know if you are allright. I said I was, than said I had to work, and hung up.

A few hours later, she texted me saying that she wished that I recovered soon enough, and that I forgot my glasses at her place, for me to tell her when I wanted to visit her to get them. I replied, o k .

That was the last time I spoke to her. That's 60 days ago.

Fkd 2 chicks along the way. Hooked up with 5.

I did some low frame sh!t reposting some stories from chicks that posted me, in order to get to her nerves.
She saw them all, to no effect.

But aside from that, absolutely no contact. I've also now decided to completely vanish from social networks.
Looking back, I regret reposting the stories, because even if it was other chicks posting, which show some value, it gave light to her of where I was, and what I was doing, where the best course of action is actually vanish.

Anyway, I am now a seasoned expert of handling NC (and crying alone in the WC hahaha), so not calling, texting and cheking her medias is easy peasy.

Now, here I am again at the hospital, writing in bed, after the second surgery I just had 2 days ago, because the damage from the bike acident affected the leg as well.

But, despite being hospitalized again, going NC, I actually feel good about my self.

Still miss the b(tch evey now and them. But got my sh(t back together, and the pain is not as excruciating pain as before

It must have been hard being in hospital and feeling like **** at the same time. You’re tough and handled it well.
I wouldn’t be able to act like you right away.

 

[soulforge]

NC Month 5

Since I told her to leave my house we have never spoke to eachother again.

I think being the dumper makes you less likely to feel like crap at the beginning of the breakup, this was definitely the case for me.

The first couple of months, I felt relieved and felt good, because I felt like I had dodged a bullet & to some degree, I felt proud of myself for standing up for myself in the face of bad behaviour.

After the first 2-3 months, I experienced some really bad lows, as I began questioning my decision & second guessing myself.

I developed the circular thinking & began considering whether I should have been softer with her and more patient when she behaved in a bad manner.

However I'm back at a point now, where I feel walking away from her was the best thing, as the red flags are too many & she didn't behave like a girl who deserves an LTR with me, pretty much throughout the relationship.

Two things come to my mind, why she never reached out to me in the 5 months we have been apart?

01. The breakup was pretty nasty, we both said some things to eachother that where hurtful (but from my end, what I said was true)

02. The other reason why she never reached out again is, because she owes me money. She lost her job a few weeks before the break up & I loaned her some money, till she could get back on her feet again. Returning the money back to my bank account was mentioned on the day of the breakup, but she never returned that money back to me.

Isn't that theft? Lol

Anyway I don't care about the money, I certainly would never reach out to her about it.

 

[johnrambo]

NC Month 5

Since I told her to leave my house we have never spoke to eachother again.

...........................

Anyway I don't care about the money, I certainly would never reach out to her about it.

Sounds like you are making progress. There is no guarantee in loaning out money to your gf or
friend or relative that the loan will be paid back. I always go with that assumption if I make that loan. I hope
the loan was not that much.

 

[soulforge]

Sounds like you are making progress. There is no guarantee in loaning out money to your gf or
friend or relative that the loan will be paid back. I always go with that assumption if I make that loan. I hope
the loan was not that much.

No it wasn't much, and to be honest I don't care about it much lol..

 

[NSX-R]

NC Month 5

Since I told her to leave my house we have never spoke to eachother again.

I think being the dumper makes you less likely to feel like crap at the beginning of the breakup, this was definitely the case for me.

The first couple of months, I felt relieved and felt good, because I felt like I had dodged a bullet & to some degree, I felt proud of myself for standing up for myself in the face of bad behaviour.

After the first 2-3 months, I experienced some really bad lows, as I began questioning my decision & second guessing myself.

I developed the circular thinking & began considering whether I should have been softer with her and more patient when she behaved in a bad manner.

However I'm back at a point now, where I feel walking away from her was the best thing, as the red flags are too many & she didn't behave like a girl who deserves an LTR with me, pretty much throughout the relationship.

Two things come to my mind, why she never reached out to me in the 5 months we have been apart?

01. The breakup was pretty nasty, we both said some things to eachother that where hurtful (but from my end, what I said was true)

02. The other reason why she never reached out again is, because she owes me money. She lost her job a few weeks before the break up & I loaned her some money, till she could get back on her feet again. Returning the money back to my bank account was mentioned on the day of the breakup, but she never returned that money back to me.

Isn't that theft? Lol

Anyway I don't care about the money, I certainly would never reach out to her about it.

Dude i don’t want to be the devils advocate here but since you were the one who dumped her , why would you expect to reach back to you ? That would be extremely low for her and it would also seem low value to you as well .
As for the money , forget it , no woman has enough honor to do something like that and i got plenty of examples myself , thank god i make enough money to not even care about . Usually i used to do it to check the waters and measure esch woman’s value . Considering that you’re stuck there , why don’t you reach out ? Most likely she’s gonna reject you but i guess that’s what you want . It’s your ego that it’s talking right now and not your emotions . Get a rebound at least. I believe it’s not too early to backfire on you . Do something to move on .

 

[soulforge]

Dude i don’t want to be the devils advocate here but since you were the one who dumped her , why would you expect to reach back to you ? That would be extremely low for her and it would also seem low value to you as well .
As for the money , forget it , no woman has enough honor to do something like that and i got plenty of examples myself , thank god i make enough money to not even care about . Usually i used to do it to check the waters and measure esch woman’s value . Considering that you’re stuck there , why don’t you reach out ? Most likely she’s gonna reject you but i guess that’s what you want . It’s your ego that it’s talking right now and not your emotions . Get a rebound at least. I believe it’s not too early to backfire on you . Do something to move on .

I didn't dump her officially, I simply told her to leave my house, after creating drama & arguments repeatedly. She left, & we never spoke to eachother again.

I didn't take this step lightly, I took this step after months of poor behaviour, bad attitude, combative behaviour, and even disrespect a couple of times.

Reaching out to her isn't something I even consider now, as the dynamic with her was toxic.

 

[soulforge]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like you should have asserted your boundaries way sooner. If one of my kittens misbehaves, I give her a reminder that she's close to crossing one of my boundaries (that she already knows). If she persists in her behaviour, I freeze her out for time, denying her my attention, making her feel what it would be like to actually lose me. Most, if not all, kittens will stop misbehaving or the temporary freeze out becomes a permanent one.

Oh yeh.. I am not the type to shy away from asserting boundaries, in-fact I insist on boundaries from day one.

Those boundaries where over stepped by her a couple of times, I responded by walk away from her & removing attention (she gave chase and pleaded for another chance)

The second time it happened, I called her an Uber and sent her home from my house. (Again she asked for another chance to work things out, with the promise she will control her agressive/Combative attitude)

The third time it happened, I sent her home & removed her from my life completely.

You can't fix crazy.

 

[NSX-R]

I didn't dump her officially, I simply told her to leave my house, after creating drama & arguments repeatedly. She left, & we never spoke to eachother again.

I didn't take this step lightly, I took this step after months of poor behaviour, bad attitude, combative behaviour, and even disrespect a couple of times.

Reaching out to her isn't something I even consider now, as the dynamic with her was toxic.

Technically ,when you throw someone out of your house ,it is dumping. What were you expecting her to do ? Cry and bang your door back till you open ? You are posting the whole time about her . That’s enough indication that you’re still considering her back . It’s not bad to admit . It’s good that you understand the bad things about her but unfortunately you’re hooked. Stop being delusional by telling yourself otherwise. We’ve all been there , it ain’t bad to admit it .
Have you considered to make a compromise? No human is perfect and maybe some qualities deserve to make a compromise for.

 

[soulforge]

Technically ,when you throw someone out of your house ,it is dumping. What were you expecting her to do ? Cry and bang your door back till you open ? You are posting the whole time about her . That’s enough indication that you’re still considering her back . It’s not bad to admit . It’s good that you understand the bad things about her but unfortunately you’re hooked. Stop being delusional by telling yourself otherwise. We’ve all been there , it ain’t bad to admit it .
Have you considered to make a compromise? No human is perfect and maybe some qualities deserve to make a compromise for.

Nah dude this NO CONTACT section is purposely here for us to vent if need to, rather than to go ahead and break NC

I come on here like most people and update once a while, about how I feel about the NC journey.

Also this. At no point did I suggest I would or even should contact her.. I simply stated some reasons why she is very unlikely to contact me, which makes sense because indirectly I did instigate the break up.

Also this.. there is a reason I did not get screwed over in my relationship like you got screwed over in yours.

The reason for that is, I am not willing to compromise when it comes to disrespect and overall poor behaviour (behaviour that is problematic and self sabotaging to the relationship)

If a woman is showing signs of emotional instability, agression, straight up disrespect, you don't compromise on that. You give her some opportunities to do better, if that fails, you be a man and dump her or walk away.

Why? Because in the long run she will lie, cheat, and monkey branch to another man.

There is a lesson for you to learn in this. Walk Away before the worst things happen, just like they happened to you.

 

[soulforge]

I misunderstood, thought she had been misbehaving for months, which is something I don't think should be tolerated.

Yes she had been misbehaving for months, some small acts of bad behaviour, then bigger acts of bad behaviour.. One time she could have nearly cost me my job by going public on social media without my permission (we spoke about this)

I believe in being patient and giving a girl chances, I don't want to be too harsh, but after 3 chances and several conversations, if nothing changes, by remaining in that situation (we are actually lowering ourselves in her eyes)

 

[Baibars]

Day 17.

Today I stayed in bed for a long time after waking up and thought about her and all the bs that happened.
I was blaming myself, then justifying why I did the mistakes in the relationship and then thinking about why I did it on purpose.
Then I thought fck her I did so many things for her and she just didn’t want to work things out.

I thought about her good sides and bad sides.
My brain works non stop. I can’t watch a fcking movie without overthinking.

Other than that this week was mostly ok. Went to work and gym, the usual stuff. Sometimes I feel good, sometimes bad.
One day I’m thinking everything’s fine, the other day I get all these what if’s in my mind.

im still not ready for other girls and I will take my time. Dating doesn’t feel good. A girl blocked me this week because she said I only want sex and she’s right.
I wanted to get rid of her as soon as I had sex. I didn’t feel good in her presence. I think I need more time to heal.

 

[soulforge]

Day 17.

Today I stayed in bed for a long time after waking up and thought about her and all the bs that happened.
I was blaming myself, then justifying why I did the mistakes in the relationship and then thinking about why I did it on purpose.
Then I thought fck her I did so many things for her and she just didn’t want to work things out.

I thought about her good sides and bad sides.
My brain works non stop. I can’t watch a fcking movie without overthinking.

Other than that this week was mostly ok. Went to work and gym, the usual stuff. Sometimes I feel good, sometimes bad.
One day I’m thinking everything’s fine, the other day I get all these what if’s in my mind.

im still not ready for other girls and I will take my time. Dating doesn’t feel good. A girl blocked me this week because she said I only want sex and she’s right.
I wanted to get rid of her as soon as I had sex. I didn’t feel good in her presence. I think I need more time to heal.

Take your time to heal.

Time is your best friend. It gets better guaranteed.