The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[soulforge]

Day 6. It was a mistake thinking I'd moved on already so fast. The day was particularly hard compared to the past few days. Thankfully no trouble sleeping but I saw her in my dreams.

I broke NC in my dreams lol. I called her and her friend picked up instead and told me its over and to move on. This is the same chick who she's hanging out with the most since our breakup. For context, this chick told her then best friend that she was going to talk to the best friend's crush to set them up together and ended up stealing him instead, and her current relationship has been an on and off relationship with a literal beta. Everytime I saw them together, she was always demeaning him, cursing him and even hit him (for his own good because the guy just wasn't any good apparently). She has a reputation for being a bytch and overly aggressive with everyone. Not a single guy in her life likes her. She was also the one always encouraging my ex to break up with me anytime we had any arguments. My ex too complained about her often when we were together but it's funny how she ran back to the "trouble friend" after breaking up. I'd love to hate that fvcking ***** but I'm more indifferent toward her because it was my ex who made the decision at the end. She's not a child.

Had an absolute shytty morning after waking up from that dream but I've gotta make it work.

To top it off, phone decided to start showing my gallery's 'memories' first thing in the morning. It was a picture from one of our first dates. I didn't even know it was there until now. When it rains it pours.

This is what happens when you don't take ruthless approach and set firm boundaries.

You're girlfriends freinds matter, if she is associateing with low quality female friends, who cause a rift in the relationship, that's a big red flag.

 

[soulforge]

Day 6. It was a mistake thinking I'd moved on already so fast. The day was particularly hard compared to the past few days. Thankfully no trouble sleeping but I saw her in my dreams.

I broke NC in my dreams lol. I called her and her friend picked up instead and told me its over and to move on. This is the same chick who she's hanging out with the most since our breakup. For context, this chick told her then best friend that she was going to talk to the best friend's crush to set them up together and ended up stealing him instead, and her current relationship has been an on and off relationship with a literal beta. Everytime I saw them together, she was always demeaning him, cursing him and even hit him (for his own good because the guy just wasn't any good apparently). She has a reputation for being a bytch and overly aggressive with everyone. Not a single guy in her life likes her. She was also the one always encouraging my ex to break up with me anytime we had any arguments. My ex too complained about her often when we were together but it's funny how she ran back to the "trouble friend" after breaking up. I'd love to hate that fvcking ***** but I'm more indifferent toward her because it was my ex who made the decision at the end. She's not a child.

Had an absolute shytty morning after waking up from that dream but I've gotta make it work.

To top it off, phone decided to start showing my gallery's 'memories' first thing in the morning. It was a picture from one of our first dates. I didn't even know it was there until now. When it rains it pours.

I'm NC nearly 5 months, and last night for some reason I had a dream about her. Woke up feeling a little down about it, but snapped out of it quickly.

It's not a lingering feeling anymore, soon as I get busy with something, the feeling is gone.

 

[ItsBeenAWhile]

This is what happens when you don't take ruthless approach and set firm boundaries.

You're girlfriends freinds matter, if she is associateing with low quality female friends, who cause a rift in the relationship, that's a big red flag.

All her other friend groups are very conservative and the "right type" of friends. Only this one, the one who she ran to after the breakup, is fvcking shyt. Absolute low-class, gutter tier woman. As a matter of fact, their friend group was larger up until the same bytch broke them up. They'd been friends for nearly a decade until she came into the picture two years ago and broke their group up. The kind of bytch who if she were a man, you'd beat the shyt out of.

 

[ItsBeenAWhile]

Day 7. Better than day 6 because I tried staying more busy. No trouble during the day. Saw her in my dreams again at night though and it had me incredibly distressed. More in control now that I'm awake. Nothing significant to note really. I've been making plans on what new hobbies I should pick up moving forward. All in all I'm going to be a completely different person in the next 30 days. Almost unbelievably.

 

[Baibars]

Day 7. Better than day 6 because I tried staying more busy. No trouble during the day. Saw her in my dreams again at night though and it had me incredibly distressed. More in control now that I'm awake. Nothing significant to note really. I've been making plans on what new hobbies I should pick up moving forward. All in all I'm going to be a completely different person in the next 30 days. Almost unbelievably.

there are bad days and good days until there are mostly good days I guess. It’s the same for me. Healing or any kind of progress happens gradually.

 

[soulforge]

I would strongly recommend you guys hitting the gym right now, if you're in NC

 

[Glassguy]

Day 60!
Slept with quite a few women in the past 60 days and sone good dates as well.
Recently met a little fireball who has a great personality, attractive and seems to be worth spending more time with.

I honestly don't even think about my ex that often, which is weird and amazing at the same time.
But when I do, its not about good times. If she ever reaches out she's only going to hear my silence.

 

[soulforge]

Day 60!
Slept with quite a few women in the past 60 days and sone good dates as well.
Recently met a little fireball who has a great personality, attractive and seems to be worth spending more time with.

I honestly don't even think about my ex that often, which is weird and amazing at the same time.
But when I do, its not about good times. If she ever reaches out she's only going to hear my silence.

Banging a bunch of other women does help.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids)

No.

I find it odd she didnt ask anything about me. Why wouldnt she wanna know how im doing???

Because she wants you to contact her, not the other way around. That is why this is called NO CONTACT.

 

[NSX-R]

UPDATE---I am on 3 weeks of no contact. My ex reached out to my mom through text and told her that she will be sending my kids some gifts for thanksgiving in the mail to them. My mom said my ex didnt mention a word about me. It was all asking about how my kids are doing. Should I let her have a relationship with my kids(she is not the mother of my kids)? I find it odd she didnt ask anything about me. Why wouldnt she wanna know how im doing???

The way i see it, as my recent ex had also a kid that i loved as my own, maybe she really had interest for your kids . Since she contacted your mother and not you, she did it to show that she don’t want to contact you or makes you think that she’s doing it for you . If you accept the gifts then i consider it professional courtesy to thank her but you could also say nothing. The only thing i would consider if i was a parent, if it is good to continue letting your kids be in contact with her considering she’s not in your life . I mean you can’t let a stranger be in contact with your kids and at the same time being in no talking terms. That’s what also my ex told me when we decided to break up . I told her i don’t even want to say hello to her when we meet but if her kid wants to see me i will always be there for him and she said that’s impossible cause i can’t be in contact with the kid and not with with her , they are both the same .
I believe it’s for the kids good to know if they ever knew your ex , that she’s not in your life anymore for reasons not related to them and it’s better if they are not in contact with her anymore . I believe at first it would be hard for them if they were close but with time it’s going to be good fir them .Just my opinion being to the other side .

 

[Baibars]

Day 13
It’s been almost 2 weeks No contact.
Before that I spent 2 month trying to get her back but nothing helped.
Yeah I know it wasn’t the smartest thing to do but I was very attached and felt guilty since I was the one that kept leaving her during our relationship because I knew anything long term would be wrong with that person.
What gave me the final wake up slap was our „date“ 2 weeks ago. I had to wait and ask for 2 weeks until she agreed to meet. She treated me like a friend and didn’t want anything physical.
we had a talk and when I asked to fix things she asked me if I want her to act like she wants this. She was in my car and I was devastated while she didn’t care anymore.

I asked her to leave and didn’t contact her since then which was the right decision.
She didn’t text me too and I think she won’t do it.
If she does I won’t reply because she initiated contact during this 2 month phase when I wanted her back but she wouldn’t meet or try to get back with me so a text from her means nothing.
I’m moving on and I’m stopping to be delusional but I can’t stay I never think of her. I’m sure she doesn’t. We had a really intense relationship and I spent a lot of time with her. These memories keep popping but it gets less and less.

things I do to get better:
- Gym 3x and running on rest days
- reconnected with a friend and I regularly visit my family
- met 4 girls after my break up but didn’t feel good and I’m not ready for anything emotional
- I’m not a social person. I basically only have a best friend and my family think about joining a boxing gym

I feel bad spending a lot of time with girls right now. A girl stayed at my place last weekend but I was annoyed by her after sex.

mentally I feel good. It’s getting better every day. In the morning it’s the worst but throughout the day it gets better and I don’t feel depressed all the time like I did when I tried to fix things and was stuck.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 60.

Right after we broke up, I left her place, crashed my bike, got a broken collar bone.
She called me the next day I picked, we chat, I said everything she wanted to hear, and puff, gone. This was friday.

I got the surgery on monday, and only tuesday she texted me saying 'if I wanted, she could try to visit me' ........ f off
I said I was leaving the hospital thatday so it wasnt needed.

Called me 2 days later asking how I was. This time I was brief, and asked if she wanted anything, she said no, just want to know if you are allright. I said I was, than said I had to work, and hung up.

A few hours later, she texted me saying that she wished that I recovered soon enough, and that I forgot my glasses at her place, for me to tell her when I wanted to visit her to get them. I replied, o k .

That was the last time I spoke to her. That's 60 days ago.

Fkd 2 chicks along the way. Hooked up with 5.

I did some low frame sh!t reposting some stories from chicks that posted me, in order to get to her nerves.
She saw them all, to no effect.

But aside from that, absolutely no contact. I've also now decided to completely vanish from social networks.
Looking back, I regret reposting the stories, because even if it was other chicks posting, which show some value, it gave light to her of where I was, and what I was doing, where the best course of action is actually vanish.

Anyway, I am now a seasoned expert of handling NC (and crying alone in the WC hahaha), so not calling, texting and cheking her medias is easy peasy.

Now, here I am again at the hospital, writing in bed, after the second surgery I just had 2 days ago, because the damage from the bike acident affected the leg as well.

But, despite being hospitalized again, going NC, I actually feel good about my self.

Still miss the b(tch evey now and them. But got my sh(t back together, and the pain is not as excruciating pain as before

 

[Baibars]

Day 60.

Right after we broke up, I left her place, crashed my bike, got a broken collar bone.
She called me the next day I picked, we chat, I said everything she wanted to hear, and puff, gone. This was friday.

I got the surgery on monday, and only tuesday she texted me saying 'if I wanted, she could try to visit me' ........ f off
I said I was leaving the hospital thatday so it wasnt needed.

Called me 2 days later asking how I was. This time I was brief, and asked if she wanted anything, she said no, just want to know if you are allright. I said I was, than said I had to work, and hung up.

A few hours later, she texted me saying that she wished that I recovered soon enough, and that I forgot my glasses at her place, for me to tell her when I wanted to visit her to get them. I replied, o k .

That was the last time I spoke to her. That's 60 days ago.

Fkd 2 chicks along the way. Hooked up with 5.

I did some low frame sh!t reposting some stories from chicks that posted me, in order to get to her nerves.
She saw them all, to no effect.

But aside from that, absolutely no contact. I've also now decided to completely vanish from social networks.
Looking back, I regret reposting the stories, because even if it was other chicks posting, which show some value, it gave light to her of where I was, and what I was doing, where the best course of action is actually vanish.

Anyway, I am now a seasoned expert of handling NC (and crying alone in the WC hahaha), so not calling, texting and cheking her medias is easy peasy.

Now, here I am again at the hospital, writing in bed, after the second surgery I just had 2 days ago, because the damage from the bike acident affected the leg as well.

But, despite being hospitalized again, going NC, I actually feel good about my self.

Still miss the b(tch evey now and them. But got my sh(t back together, and the pain is not as excruciating pain as before

It must have been hard being in hospital and feeling like **** at the same time. You’re tough and handled it well.
I wouldn’t be able to act like you right away.

 

[soulforge]

NC Month 5

Since I told her to leave my house we have never spoke to eachother again.

I think being the dumper makes you less likely to feel like crap at the beginning of the breakup, this was definitely the case for me.

The first couple of months, I felt relieved and felt good, because I felt like I had dodged a bullet & to some degree, I felt proud of myself for standing up for myself in the face of bad behaviour.

After the first 2-3 months, I experienced some really bad lows, as I began questioning my decision & second guessing myself.

I developed the circular thinking & began considering whether I should have been softer with her and more patient when she behaved in a bad manner.

However I'm back at a point now, where I feel walking away from her was the best thing, as the red flags are too many & she didn't behave like a girl who deserves an LTR with me, pretty much throughout the relationship.

Two things come to my mind, why she never reached out to me in the 5 months we have been apart?

01. The breakup was pretty nasty, we both said some things to eachother that where hurtful (but from my end, what I said was true)

02. The other reason why she never reached out again is, because she owes me money. She lost her job a few weeks before the break up & I loaned her some money, till she could get back on her feet again. Returning the money back to my bank account was mentioned on the day of the breakup, but she never returned that money back to me.

Isn't that theft? Lol

Anyway I don't care about the money, I certainly would never reach out to her about it.

 

[johnrambo]

NC Month 5

Since I told her to leave my house we have never spoke to eachother again.

...........................

Anyway I don't care about the money, I certainly would never reach out to her about it.

Sounds like you are making progress. There is no guarantee in loaning out money to your gf or
friend or relative that the loan will be paid back. I always go with that assumption if I make that loan. I hope
the loan was not that much.

 

[soulforge]

Sounds like you are making progress. There is no guarantee in loaning out money to your gf or
friend or relative that the loan will be paid back. I always go with that assumption if I make that loan. I hope
the loan was not that much.

No it wasn't much, and to be honest I don't care about it much lol..

 

[NSX-R]

NC Month 5

Since I told her to leave my house we have never spoke to eachother again.

I think being the dumper makes you less likely to feel like crap at the beginning of the breakup, this was definitely the case for me.

The first couple of months, I felt relieved and felt good, because I felt like I had dodged a bullet & to some degree, I felt proud of myself for standing up for myself in the face of bad behaviour.

After the first 2-3 months, I experienced some really bad lows, as I began questioning my decision & second guessing myself.

I developed the circular thinking & began considering whether I should have been softer with her and more patient when she behaved in a bad manner.

However I'm back at a point now, where I feel walking away from her was the best thing, as the red flags are too many & she didn't behave like a girl who deserves an LTR with me, pretty much throughout the relationship.

Two things come to my mind, why she never reached out to me in the 5 months we have been apart?

01. The breakup was pretty nasty, we both said some things to eachother that where hurtful (but from my end, what I said was true)

02. The other reason why she never reached out again is, because she owes me money. She lost her job a few weeks before the break up & I loaned her some money, till she could get back on her feet again. Returning the money back to my bank account was mentioned on the day of the breakup, but she never returned that money back to me.

Isn't that theft? Lol

Anyway I don't care about the money, I certainly would never reach out to her about it.

Dude i don’t want to be the devils advocate here but since you were the one who dumped her , why would you expect to reach back to you ? That would be extremely low for her and it would also seem low value to you as well .
As for the money , forget it , no woman has enough honor to do something like that and i got plenty of examples myself , thank god i make enough money to not even care about . Usually i used to do it to check the waters and measure esch woman’s value . Considering that you’re stuck there , why don’t you reach out ? Most likely she’s gonna reject you but i guess that’s what you want . It’s your ego that it’s talking right now and not your emotions . Get a rebound at least. I believe it’s not too early to backfire on you . Do something to move on .

 

[soulforge]

Dude i don’t want to be the devils advocate here but since you were the one who dumped her , why would you expect to reach back to you ? That would be extremely low for her and it would also seem low value to you as well .
As for the money , forget it , no woman has enough honor to do something like that and i got plenty of examples myself , thank god i make enough money to not even care about . Usually i used to do it to check the waters and measure esch woman’s value . Considering that you’re stuck there , why don’t you reach out ? Most likely she’s gonna reject you but i guess that’s what you want . It’s your ego that it’s talking right now and not your emotions . Get a rebound at least. I believe it’s not too early to backfire on you . Do something to move on .

I didn't dump her officially, I simply told her to leave my house, after creating drama & arguments repeatedly. She left, & we never spoke to eachother again.

I didn't take this step lightly, I took this step after months of poor behaviour, bad attitude, combative behaviour, and even disrespect a couple of times.

Reaching out to her isn't something I even consider now, as the dynamic with her was toxic.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I didn't take this step lightly, I took this step after months of poor behaviour, bad attitude, combative behaviour, and even disrespect a couple of times.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like you should have asserted your boundaries way sooner. If one of my kittens misbehaves, I give her a reminder that she's close to crossing one of my boundaries (that she already knows). If she persists in her behaviour, I freeze her out for time, denying her my attention, making her feel what it would be like to actually lose me. Most, if not all, kittens will stop misbehaving or the temporary freeze out becomes a permanent one.

 

[soulforge]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like you should have asserted your boundaries way sooner. If one of my kittens misbehaves, I give her a reminder that she's close to crossing one of my boundaries (that she already knows). If she persists in her behaviour, I freeze her out for time, denying her my attention, making her feel what it would be like to actually lose me. Most, if not all, kittens will stop misbehaving or the temporary freeze out becomes a permanent one.

Oh yeh.. I am not the type to shy away from asserting boundaries, in-fact I insist on boundaries from day one.

Those boundaries where over stepped by her a couple of times, I responded by walk away from her & removing attention (she gave chase and pleaded for another chance)

The second time it happened, I called her an Uber and sent her home from my house. (Again she asked for another chance to work things out, with the promise she will control her agressive/Combative attitude)

The third time it happened, I sent her home & removed her from my life completely.

You can't fix crazy.