The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Foe]

2 weeks:

Been broken up since July but she reached out to a friends gf and got her to ask my mate for me to call her. So I did. She really f'ed her life up since she ended it with me and it gives me no satisfaction whatsoever. The self delusion with this girl is next level, so weird to see her justify her actions with other peoples reactions, like she wasn't the root cause. I try and shed some light on her responsibility to her outcome but she's too invested in the fantasy she has done nothing wrong and life is "just against her".

She wanted to come over, I said no and Im happy about that. Would have been a rinse and repeat of the last 50 thousand breakups that much I know for a fact. You get so wedded to the fantasy that "what if" that it clouds your ability to see "what is".

I'm thankful to this new girl I'm seeing, she's well and truly "in my frame" and its a nice holiday from what I have been dealing with. Without her I doubt I could have turned down the booty call.

On another note the ice wall is starting to melt and Im starting to feel more comfortable with this new girl. Showed my mate some photos of her and he couldnt believe I was downplaying her. Funny how you cant see the forest through the trees when you have a girl in your head.

 

[soulforge]

2 weeks:

Been broken up since July but she reached out to a friends gf and got her to ask my mate for me to call her. So I did. She really f'ed her life up since she ended it with me and it gives me no satisfaction whatsoever. The self delusion with this girl is next level, so weird to see her justify her actions with other peoples reactions, like she wasn't the root cause. I try and shed some light on her responsibility to her outcome but she's too invested in the fantasy she has done nothing wrong and life is "just against her".

She wanted to come over, I said no and Im happy about that. Would have been a rinse and repeat of the last 50 thousand breakups that much I know for a fact. You get so wedded to the fantasy that "what if" that it clouds your ability to see "what is".

I'm thankful to this new girl I'm seeing, she's well and truly "in my frame" and its a nice holiday from what I have been dealing with. Without her I doubt I could have turned down the booty call.

On another note the ice wall is starting to melt and Im starting to feel more comfortable with this new girl. Showed my mate some photos of her and he couldnt believe I was downplaying her. Funny how you cant see the forest through the trees when you have a girl in your head.

Good job man.. She sounds broken and on the path to self destruction.

Stay away from toxic situations.. Ignore her from here on, and build something with your current girl if she is worth it.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 60.

Right after we broke up, I left her place, crashed my bike, got a broken collar bone.
She called me the next day I picked, we chat, I said everything she wanted to hear, and puff, gone. This was friday.

I got the surgery on monday, and only tuesday she texted me saying 'if I wanted, she could try to visit me' ........ f off
I said I was leaving the hospital thatday so it wasnt needed.

Called me 2 days later asking how I was. This time I was brief, and asked if she wanted anything, she said no, just want to know if you are allright. I said I was, than said I had to work, and hung up.

A few hours later, she texted me saying that she wished that I recovered soon enough, and that I forgot my glasses at her place, for me to tell her when I wanted to visit her to get them. I replied, o k .

That was the last time I spoke to her. That's 60 days ago.

Fkd 2 chicks along the way. Hooked up with 5.

I did some low frame sh!t reposting some stories from chicks that posted me, in order to get to her nerves.
She saw them all, to no effect.

But aside from that, absolutely no contact. I've also now decided to completely vanish from social networks.
Looking back, I regret reposting the stories, because even if it was other chicks posting, which show some value, it gave light to her of where I was, and what I was doing, where the best course of action is actually vanish.

Anyway, I am now a seasoned expert of handling NC (and crying alone in the WC hahaha), so not calling, texting and cheking her medias is easy peasy.

Now, here I am again at the hospital, writing in bed, after the second surgery I just had 2 days ago, because the damage from the bike acident affected the leg as well.

But, despite being hospitalized again, going NC, I actually feel good about my self.

Still miss the b(tch evey now and them. But got my sh(t back together, and the pain is not as excruciating pain as before

Just to give you guys a brief backstory, I'm from Brazil, and moved to portugal this August, mainly because of the chick (Dydy).
I wanted to live in Europe, and I landed a job while I was vacationing here in Portugal at her place.

So, having the job, and dating my high school crush felt like the right thing to do.

I got here 90 days ago. Me and her lasted less then a month.

Its been though 3 months.

I spent more than €10k, got a broken wallet, a broken collar bone, broken femur, and a broken heart. And had 2 surgeries.
All of this alone, away from my friends and family.

Anyway, I had this message with a forum member, but decided to share with all of you guys in here:

---

DAY 62:
We are keeping it strong mate!

Got out of the hospital saturday, a chick (Tilde) friend turn plate turn friend again of mine went to get me.

Took me to a bar, had a drink with me, took me home, did pharmacy and groceries for me, cooked me dinner, went out again to a bar. Slept over, but we were too wasted to do anything, and nothing happened.

Sunday my sister came from Paris to visit me, we had lunch with some friends. Incredible food, great people. Fun times!

After that, the chick (Tilde) from saturday came over to my place, said she didn't know what she was feeling for me, so I've wore my big boy pants made a move, hooked up! Awesome sh(t. It felt so good man!

no s&x, but no problem, I'm not in a rush. As pook said, Patience is the Refined Sense of Confidence.
And besides I've got 17 stitches in my legs, so its actually better not too.

Anyhow, It was great! Seriously! I have the hots for this chick, and it was really good to win one, you know what I mean.
I've been taking so many punches since I've got here in Portugal, it was good to win one round.

Then it was my mom 70's y/o bday, I had a video call with her, and I cried of happiness an gratitude of having both my parents alive, thanked them for everything, and told them:

That after 3 months, that was the first day that I was actually trully happy.

And that is it. I had an excellent weekend, and as we know, life is tough, but it has its moments. Yesterday was one of these!

----

That's it guys.
Keep strong, keep your head up, own your sh/t, reclaim your balls, and never lock back!

Cheers

 

[Baibars]

Day 18

Today I went to the gym and later i realized how I lost my self respect and dignity and no woman is worth losing that. I
lost my manhood trying to get her back.
I looked back and realized how weak I acted..
I would never act in such a way now.

All this guilt, regret and attachment made me act in a very idiotic way.
My thoughts fluctuate a lot these days. I just hope I don’t think different tomorrow.

 

[soulforge]

Day 18

Today I went to the gym and later i realized how I lost my self respect and dignity and no woman is worth losing that. I
lost my manhood trying to get her back.
I looked back and realized how weak I acted..
I would never act in such a way now.

All this guilt, regret and attachment made me act in a very idiotic way.
My thoughts fluctuate a lot these days. I just hope I don’t think different tomorrow.

How old are you bro?

Don't worry about it, we all made these mistakes in the past.

With experience you will reach a point, where you will never sacrifice self respect for Vagina.

I rather sacrifice a relationship, than allow my self respect to be compromised.

 

[Baibars]

How old are you bro?

Don't worry about it, we all made these mistakes in the past.

With experience you will reach a point, where you will never sacrifice self respect for Vagina.

I rather sacrifice a relationship, than allow my self respect to be compromised.

im 29. do I make the impression that I’m younger?

 

[DJProtégèEB]

This would be Day 4.

I wouldn't consider this a breakup, only had a few dates, light kissing and thats it. Chemistry was good, no blow up or argument to make her go distant. Still sucks like a breakup, so I'm gonna treat it as one.

I still think NC is the way to go although my logical brain can't piece together why I got ghosted. Posting here because I'm torn between picking up where we left off if she does text or just moving on and going NC.

 

[soulforge]

im 29. do I make the impression that I’m younger?

Your still quite young, years ahead of you to meet a variety of women, your at a good age to increase your SMV more money, fitness, social circles etc

 

[soulforge]

This would be Day 4.

I wouldn't consider this a breakup, only had a few dates, light kissing and thats it. Chemistry was good, no blow up or argument to make her go distant. Still sucks like a breakup, so I'm gonna treat it as one.

I still think NC is the way to go although my logical brain can't piece together why I got ghosted. Posting here because I'm torn between picking up where we left off if she does text or just moving on and going NC.

How old are you? If you haven't even smashed yet, and your making NC threads, that's a little worrying.

 

[Baibars]

Your still quite young, years ahead of you to meet a variety of women, your at a good age to increase your SMV more money, fitness, social circles etc

i have a decent profession and job where I can increase my salary if I keep getting better.
im going to gym, thinking about joining some boxing/mma gym.
My biggest problem is that I have no social circle. I have 2 friends I know since childhood and we don’t hang out much anymore since they have their own lives.

I have weak thoughts about my ex today again. She doesn’t care and I know that. I can’t entertain any woman that isn’t interested I know that but it still hurts sometimes.

 

[soulforge]

i have a decent profession and job where I can increase my salary if I keep getting better.
im going to gym, thinking about joining some boxing/mma gym.
My biggest problem is that I have no social circle. I have 2 friends I know since childhood and we don’t hang out much anymore since they have their own lives.

I have weak thoughts about my ex today again. She doesn’t care and I know that. I can’t entertain any woman that isn’t interested I know that but it still hurts sometimes.

That's understandable. Nobody likes or enjoys rejection. Ask any of the older guys, we have all been in the same situation as you, however over a period of time, you will reach a place where you will look back and laugh at this situation. I mean it.

Not only that, you will meet better chicks, hotter or just much more compatible.

You have to play your part too, and appreciate the new girl, if she is a good chick. You can't treat her bad and expect her to stick around forever.

 

[Baibars]

That's understandable. Nobody likes or enjoys rejection. Ask any of the older guys, we have all been in the same situation as you, however over a period of time, you will reach a place where you will look back and laugh at this situation. I mean it.

Not only that, you will meet better chicks, hotter or just much more compatible.

You have to play your part too, and appreciate the new girl, if she is a good chick. You can't treat her bad and expect her to stick around forever.

bro I’m very emotional today.
No contact for 19 days and she clearly said she doesn’t want.
It was me that destroyed the relationship but in the end her emotions changed and she got cold. I tried to get her back and apologized already.

I just thought about calling her. That’s a stupid idea right ?

 

[DJProtégèEB]

How old are you? If you haven't even smashed yet, and your making NC threads, that's a little worrying.

36, what's worrying?

 

[vato]

Day 1:

Created this post a week ago:

My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

Hi, I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time...

www.sosuave.net

We broke up 30 minutes ago. She called me and said that she doesn’t feel appreciated and I take her for granted. She was crying and said that this isn’t working anymore so she wants to break up. Had 1 hour talk. Told her that I’ll delete her from all social media and won’t contact her. I feel nothing at the moment just feel empty and a bit lost and confused.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Yes, it is. You won't get out of that what you hope for.

No Contact is to help you get over the break-up, not to 'get your ex back'.

Move on.

It is sad that they never get it Amsterdam

@Baibars
Listen to everyone here. It's over, and anything you try to do will further solidify in her head that you are a loser, which shouldnt matter, since it's over.

The worst is that you will prolong your pain. And when you start to see things clearer again, you will punish yourself for acting so stupid.

Read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 1:

Created this post a week ago:

My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

Hi, I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time...

www.sosuave.net

We broke up 30 minutes ago. She called me and said that she doesn’t feel appreciated and I take her for granted. She was crying and said that this isn’t working anymore so she wants to break up. Had 1 hour talk. Told her that I’ll delete her from all social media and won’t contact her. I feel nothing at the moment just feel empty and a bit lost and confused.

Welcome bro. It will get worse, than it will get better.

Some pro tips:
Anything she is saying is BS.
She already have someone to fill her empty (if you know what I mean)
She lost attraction because of your beta behaviour, that you are now uncapable of seeing.

Best course of action. Stick to NC. It will hurt like hell, but is the best thing.

In the mean time, read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

 

[soulforge]

Day 1:

Created this post a week ago:

My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

Hi, I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time...

www.sosuave.net

We broke up 30 minutes ago. She called me and said that she doesn’t feel appreciated and I take her for granted. She was crying and said that this isn’t working anymore so she wants to break up. Had 1 hour talk. Told her that I’ll delete her from all social media and won’t contact her. I feel nothing at the moment just feel empty and a bit lost and confused.

Dude when you're girlfriend is flirting with other dudes, and quite blatantly, the break up was inevitable down the road.

Don't let how women rationalise the break up confuse you.

I would say you dodged a bullet.. This is the type of girl who would end up cheating on you with a friend or family member down the line.

Regarding Frame.. This is for the future.

You're girl should always FEAR you. She should always have this deep fear, that if she crosses a serious boundary (flirting with your friend) that she would be Dumped for it.

 

[soulforge]

Welcome bro. It will get worse, than it will get better.

Some pro tips:
Anything she is saying is BS.
She already have someone to fill her empty (if you know what I mean)
She lost attraction because of your beta behaviour, that you are now uncapable of seeing.

Best course of action. Stick to NC. It will hurt like hell, but is the best thing.

In the mean time, read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

While I agree with most of what you said.. We are not certain that op displayed Beta behaviours. Some biches are just cvnts and will leave for a better option.

Doesn't mean OP was beta... However the fact that ops girlfriend had the damn guts to flirt with his friend, right Infront of op, suggests ops frame was weak..

Any girlfriend I ever had, wouldn't dare try that shyte, they no I would Walk.

 

[vato]

Welcome bro. It will get worse, than it will get better.

Some pro tips:
Anything she is saying is BS.
She already have someone to fill her empty (if you know what I mean)
She lost attraction because of your beta behaviour, that you are now uncapable of seeing.

Best course of action. Stick to NC. It will hurt like hell, but is the best thing.

In the mean time, read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

I will stay NC but I know there will be difficult days ahead. Already getting mind****ed about different scenarios. I’m no beta just should’ve set boundaries from the start with my friend and this wouldn’t have occurred. Lesson learned from the hard way.

 

[vato]

Dude when you're girlfriend is flirting with other dudes, and quite blatantly, the break up was inevitable down the road.

Don't let how women rationalise the break up confuse you.

I would say you dodged a bullet.. This is the type of girl who would end up cheating on you with a friend or family member down the line.

Regarding Frame.. This is for the future.

You're girl should always FEAR you. She should always have this deep fear, that if she crosses a serious boundary (flirting with your friend) that she would be Dumped for it.

You’re right, I dodged a bullet and I have to get better with setting the correct frame next time.