The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Adz--]

Has a crazy chick ever got you questioning your own sanity?
Like sometimes she would say or do some stupid chit & I would check her azz, which would lead to her arguing or being challenging.

I give you an example. I'm a firm believer, that any type of bad/rude behaviour should be nipped in the bud immediately at the early stages of dating.

Example - My ex on several occasions, in a pretty stirn voice asked me to pass/or give her something, but failed to even say Please or Thank you, this came across as kinda harsh & a little rude to me.

So I checked her, and let her know, nothing wrong with being a little polite when you ask for something. Anyway later down the road, if at any point, I forgot to say please/thank you her, because I'm in a hurry or whatever, this bich would immediately remind me of the time, that I checked her on being polite & she would become all petty about it.

Yepp on many occasions, the girl was a walking BPD red flag and the whole time through dating her nothing was stable for long. Ironically like yourself when I did put her in her place she always loved it and thrived of it.

That's how these psychos get you hooked and wanting more through their twisted ways.

 

[soulforge]

Yepp on many occasions, the girl was a walking BPD red flag and the whole time through dating her nothing was stable for long. Ironically like yourself when I did put her in her place she always loved it and thrived of it.

That's how these psychos get you hooked and wanting more through their twisted ways.

No lies I actually had some feeling my ex was BPD/NPD

01. Traumatic upbringing
02. Father died early in her life, he was an alcoholic
03. Likely there was sexual abuse
04. Had been on Anti depressants before she met me
05. Previous relationship to me was also toxic
06. Dates only much older men (daddy issues)
07. Constant chit testing and drama
08. Insecure about what I am doing
09. Broke into my phone and checked all my messages behind my back
10. VERY combative and argumentive and agressive
11. High Body count 12 or more at age 24

I'm certain this girl was BPD or had serious daddy issues

 

[Adz--]

No lies I actually had some feeling my ex was BPD/NPD

01. Traumatic upbringing
02. Father died early in her life, he was an alcoholic
03. Likely there was sexual abuse
04. Had been on Anti depressants before she met me
05. Previous relationship to me was also toxic
06. Dates only much older men (daddy issues)
07. Constant chit testing and drama
08. Insecure about what I am doing
09. Broke into my phone and checked all my messages behind my back
10. VERY combative and argumentive and agressive
11. High Body count 12 or more at age 24

I'm certain this girl was BPD or had serious daddy issues

Yeah she sounds it. Most of that sounds like it stems from the sh*tty upbringing and been reinforced by all the other events and trying to get dopamine highs through messed up scenarios. Honestly brother it sounds like you dodged a bullet.
The bitter part about BPD's are that their behaviour will have an impact on you, that you will only realise/ see after you've removed yourself from them. Healing is part of the journey, but questioning all the what if's and why's will further make you walk in circles

 

[soulforge]

Yeah she sounds it. Most of that sounds like it stems from the sh*tty upbringing and been reinforced by all the other events and trying to get dopamine highs through messed up scenarios. Honestly brother it sounds like you dodged a bullet.
The bitter part about BPD's are that their behaviour will have an impact on you, that you will only realise/ see after you've removed yourself from them. Healing is part of the journey, but questioning all the what if's and why's will further make you walk in circles

Yeh no lies. I am age 47 and she was age 24... This relationship was a massive ego boost for me.. however the red flags where very obvious from day one.

With some time apart from her, I realise that she was very likely BPD, or at least had severe daddy issues.. Most personality disorders in girls, stem from daddy issues.

Yup she was hot, sex was great.. However dudes kill themselves over damaged girls like this. So Instead of feeling all down about the break up, I should be celebrating the fact that I had the sense to dump her before she got pregnant and before I spent years falling in love with her.

Some poor beta Simp will suffer with her now, while I go out in the big wide world and spend time with good quality chicks.

She was an absolute headache and constant drama.

 

[Designer Man]

Day 1

This is going to be tough but I have to do it.

Yesterday we officially ended. Our relationship was up and down for the last 12 months and this is the third time I have moved out in that time. We have been having a few problems with the house and Yesterday things just reached a certain point and the stress of living in an unhappy home finally broke us. She had me removed from the property so I had to find some accommodation almost immediately. I'm staying with a friend until I'm back on my feet.

The relationship was toxic. We would go to war with each other when it was bad. When it was good, things were great but it got to a point we were breaking up every month.

For the last week I have hated her and she had hated me, we have both told each other there is no going back after this and I left with my things without saying goodbye. I didn't get angry, I just took my stuff and left. She couldn't look at me or be around me so she stayed in another room until I was gone.

I am struggling today. I feel lost, low, anxious, defeated, flat, stressed, miserable to name a few. She blocked me on everything, something she did a week ago so I know there's no way she is going to reach out. I have to accept what I've lost financially too as I don't want to chase for anything. As far as I'm concerned she can keep it.

We were together for three years and were planning our wedding. It was booked for next summer. It hurts to think we allowed things to get so bad between us and we done nothing to fix it. I accept my faults and I wasn't an easy person to be around but nor was she and we dragged each other to hell.

It was only two weeks ago she was telling me how I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was so in love with me. Why did we fail to communicate effectively? Why did we pull away from each other when things got bad?

I just want to rebuild my life. I need to find permanent accommodation but I need to get my finances in check first and clear some debts. I'm not interested in going out and meeting anyone else, I just need to give myself time to get where I need to be.

I don't think she will reach out. The last time we broke up we were falling in love all over again within a week and moved back in together after a month apart. I keep checking my phone for messages and it's literally been a day. I'm struggling, I have good outlets in the gym and have a good focus there. It's just the every day stuff I'm struggling with.

 

[Baibars]

Day 1

This is going to be tough but I have to do it.

Yesterday we officially ended. Our relationship was up and down for the last 12 months and this is the third time I have moved out in that time. We have been having a few problems with the house and Yesterday things just reached a certain point and the stress of living in an unhappy home finally broke us. She had me removed from the property so I had to find some accommodation almost immediately. I'm staying with a friend until I'm back on my feet.

The relationship was toxic. We would go to war with each other when it was bad. When it was good, things were great but it got to a point we were breaking up every month.

For the last week I have hated her and she had hated me, we have both told each other there is no going back after this and I left with my things without saying goodbye. I didn't get angry, I just took my stuff and left. She couldn't look at me or be around me so she stayed in another room until I was gone.

I am struggling today. I feel lost, low, anxious, defeated, flat, stressed, miserable to name a few. She blocked me on everything, something she did a week ago so I know there's no way she is going to reach out. I have to accept what I've lost financially too as I don't want to chase for anything. As far as I'm concerned she can keep it.

We were together for three years and were planning our wedding. It was booked for next summer. It hurts to think we allowed things to get so bad between us and we done nothing to fix it. I accept my faults and I wasn't an easy person to be around but nor was she and we dragged each other to hell.

It was only two weeks ago she was telling me how I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was so in love with me. Why did we fail to communicate effectively? Why did we pull away from each other when things got bad?

I just want to rebuild my life. I need to find permanent accommodation but I need to get my finances in check first and clear some debts. I'm not interested in going out and meeting anyone else, I just need to give myself time to get where I need to be.

I don't think she will reach out. The last time we broke up we were falling in love all over again within a week and moved back in together after a month apart. I keep checking my phone for messages and it's literally been a day. I'm struggling, I have good outlets in the gym and have a good focus there. It's just the every day stuff I'm struggling with.

She had you removed from the property? At this point don’t even think about contacting her or getting back with her. Focus on yourself and use NC to move on, not to get her back.

 

[Designer Man]

She had you removed from the property? At this point don’t even think about contacting her or getting back with her. Focus on yourself and use NC to move on, not to get her back.

Yep and I lived there for two years and paid my share. I just wanted more respect than that. I would have left and the way she went about it was disgusting.

 

[Glassguy]

What would be the down side of me telling her that I have moved on?

You haven't moved on. That's the problem.

 

[Designer Man]

As you should deserve. She will reach out to you again, I would suggest blocking her because she f’ed you over in this relationship. It was a tough read, but I think you know what to do as you are typing out your post.

And I also f'ed her over. I was disgusting at times and when we would argue it got nasty to the point we almost got physical. We had panic attacks and were just at an all time low. The good times were there and we had some amazing times, probably 50/50 which is not good. Her mood dictated what kind of day we were going to have and I would feed off her energy. I would absorb her mood and then start to get agitated about stuff. I wasn't an easy person to live with at times but most of the time I was chilled and easy going. I would do anything for her. We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

 

[johnrambo]

Day 1

This is going to be tough but I have to do it.

It'll get better with time. Hang in there.

 

[johnrambo]

We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

Maybe she wants to start a fight and break up with you.

 

[soulforge]

And I also f'ed her over. I was disgusting at times and when we would argue it got nasty to the point we almost got physical. We had panic attacks and were just at an all time low. The good times were there and we had some amazing times, probably 50/50 which is not good. Her mood dictated what kind of day we were going to have and I would feed off her energy. I would absorb her mood and then start to get agitated about stuff. I wasn't an easy person to live with at times but most of the time I was chilled and easy going. I would do anything for her. We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

When a relationship gets even close to this messy/toxic it's time to walk away.

I think it's important to recognise when a relationship is failing, earlier you exit from that bad situation, the better.

 

[Adz--]

Yeh no lies. I am age 47 and she was age 24... This relationship was a massive ego boost for me.. however the red flags where very obvious from day one.

With some time apart from her, I realise that she was very likely BPD, or at least had severe daddy issues.. Most personality disorders in girls, stem from daddy issues.

Yup she was hot, sex was great.. However dudes kill themselves over damaged girls like this. So Instead of feeling all down about the break up, I should be celebrating the fact that I had the sense to dump her before she got pregnant and before I spent years falling in love with her.

Some poor beta Simp will suffer with her now, while I go out in the big wide world and spend time with good quality chicks.

She was an absolute headache and constant drama.

Yep, sex with BPD/toxic/Crazy girls is mostly great. But the cost of it is your mental sanity. Honestly man, sounds like a car crash waiting to happen, good thing you got out before things took a turn for the worst

 

[Designer Man]

It's only been a day and I'm back and forth between the good things and the bad things. One minute I'm hating her for her behaviour and then the next minute I'm thinking about all the good things she done and the qualities she did have.

 

[Baibars]

It's only been a day and I'm back and forth between the good things and the bad things. One minute I'm hating her for her behaviour and then the next minute I'm thinking about all the good things she done and the qualities she did have.

had that with my ex before and my now ex. It’s normal and it’s just a phase you’re going through. There will be phases when you’re angry towards her, when you miss her, when you feel like it was all your fault or all her fault. This is not you. These are all emotions. You should feel them but never act on them. I know easier said than done and a lot of guys including me can’t permanently stick to that but it’s the right thing to do.

 

[Designer Man]

had that with my ex before and my now ex. It’s normal and it’s just a phase you’re going through. There will be phases when you’re angry towards her, when you miss her, when you feel like it was all your fault or all her fault. This is not you. These are all emotions. You should feel them but never act on them. I know easier said than done and a lot of guys including me can’t permanently stick to that but it’s the right thing to do.

Friends in the gym said tonight that she will reach out at some point just to keep you hanging on and play the game. I feel if she did reach out I would want her to know how belittled she made me feel and that she basically shunned me like I was nothing. They've told me that I can't message her back and I have to stick to that.

 

[Designer Man]

Saying nothing and living a better life is the ultimate method to make her realize she lost a good one. The moment she senses you don’t need her is when her emotions gets screwed out of gear.

This takes time and resolute on your end. Trust me when I say that ALL WOMEN will come back because of the emotional attachment. How do you win the game? Emotional detachment.

When you feel like you’re on top of the world, you will either realize that you don’t need that crap in your life or Hey! I can make this girl abide my terms and boundaries. It’s up to you what you want to do at that point. Short term pain for long term pleasure

Thank you. I'm just sat here thinking how did it all go wrong. I mean, I know when it went wrong, it was when i scrolled through her phone and broke trust and found something that really hurt me and since that moment things never really fully recovered. I was looking at a photograph of when we got engaged and the joy on her face is the happiest thing I have ever seen. I have messed up so much and allowed it to slip away when i could have been so much better. I can only hold myself accountable and reflect on my own actions. I have to live with losing the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

[Designer Man]

Day 2

I woke up this morning disgusted with myself. I wasn't a nice person to be around at times and I have put myself in her shoes to see how it made her feel. The aggression, the negative behaviour was not good and it must have been awful for her. I may not have put hands on her but I did get in her face, I slammed doors, I lashed out and it would have frightened her. What type of person does that to someone they love? Why did I react to the nasty things she said and behave like a psychopath? I should have controlled myself better and walked away from the situation. At times I did, but not often enough. I would get up in her face and then back away as I knew I was in the wrong but I let her push my buttons and I should have been a lot stronger than that. I intimidated her, I invaded her personal space, I am honestly appalled by my behaviour. She lashed out herself at times but I can't comment on the things she said or done, I can't reflect on her behaviour I can only reflect on mine. Today I hate myself and I don't understand why it has taken a break up for me to realise how awful I was and she stuck with me in the hope things would get better.

 

[soulforge]

Breaking up is painful man, but within it are many many opportunities for self improvement and becoming a better, stronger man. And a wiser person.

 

[Designer Man]

I'm struggling today. I have been thinking about reaching out, although I'm blocked on everything I think I can get through via e-mail or to her work phone but I'm holding strong and I'm not doing it. I want to tell her that I have been so wrong so many times and I am so sorry for what I have put her through and the way I made her feel. I love her so so much and given my time again I wouldn't let a minute go by without showing her how much I love and adore her. I'm so tempted yo reach out whether that's via email or sending it to her sister to pass on for me. I know it's wrong but I just want her to know that I'm not carrying on with my life and that I am sorrowful.