The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[soulforge]

Gentlemen I didnt tell any of you yet but I met a new woman on friday night. As you all are aware my ex contacted me on Halloween and wanted to talk with my kids to wish them a good Halloween. I want to text my ex this---"Hey I see you contacted me on Halloween. I know you wanna talk with my kids but I dont think its a good idea. I met somebody new and wanna see where things go with her. I dont wanna confuse my kids by them talking with multiple women. I wish you the best of luck on whatever you are looking for"

Should I send this?

No words you put together in a text message, will be as powerful as your complete and utter silence.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Dont text her @Hacker

 

[Baibars]

What would be the down side of me telling her that I have moved on?

that you didn’t.
„Hey I’m leaving I’m almost gone! Helloooo? Can you please notice that I moved on???!!?“

she doesn’t care enough.

 

[Dr.Suave]

What would be the down side of me telling her that I have moved on?

Dont tell her you have moved on. Show her, by not texting her.

 

[soulforge]

I have been reading about your situation for many days lately as well as the other members stories on this thread. I was in a situation very similiar to yours in the past. Not my current ex but one that was before her. She had double D's, blonde hair, perfect a**. She was also a bad girl in every sense of the word. The whole relationship was pure excitement and she loved f*cking all the time. I left just like you did. I dated a good woman after her which is my current ex. It was night and day the difference between the two. You made the right move by leaving her for sure. It only would of lead to bad things if you would of stayed with her. You will find someone else that may not be as hot but will brings other things to the table. Just be glad you got to experience with her what you got to do. I am pretty confident you wont be getting back with her cause you have a strong frame.

Yeh man, from literally day one, the situation with her was unstable.

We started off casual initially, she wanted a relationship with me, but random dudes still calling her calling her up. Few incidents when she was irresponsibile with alcohol.

Bratty attitude, challenging behaviour, Sometimes outbursts of anger. Then a couple of times she done some disrespectful things.

She had serious baby rabies, wanted me to have children with her down the line, but I knew she was unstable & just too masculine/agressive to have anything long term with her, so decided to give her the boot.

I knew something was wrong, as I have had several relationships with truly Feminine girls, and the interactions with these feminine girls was nice and easy. No drama, no constant games or agressive outbursts.

It's important that we look for feminine, easy going girls to have relationships with. Not the hot crazy ones, who have past trauma and are emotionally volitile.

 

[soulforge]

But you and I both know that the crazy hot ones are the best in bed. You know deep down your d*ck wants her crazy hot p*ssy again

Yes off course, but the mistake I made and many dudes make is, taking these chicks seriously.

They should be recreational use only.. Nothing above and beyond that.

 

[soulforge]

Hold strong brother. Your unstable chick is/was the same as mine. A train wreck. Best use would be FwB, nothing more.

I had a great first date last night, she was super feminine and was in the palm of my hands.

Hang in there!

Good luck with this new chick.

By the way, when it comes to vetting girls, always ask them about there relationship with her Father.

If she was raised without a father, or she hates her father.. Dude I can pretty much guarantee she will turn out to be crazy.

Most of these girls raised by single moms tend to end up the BPD/NPD types.

They tend to sleep around alot & start fvking at a very early age. It's a very important question that should be asked.

 

[soulforge]

Has a crazy chick ever got you questioning your own sanity?
Like sometimes she would say or do some stupid chit & I would check her azz, which would lead to her arguing or being challenging.

I give you an example. I'm a firm believer, that any type of bad/rude behaviour should be nipped in the bud immediately at the early stages of dating.

Example - My ex on several occasions, in a pretty stirn voice asked me to pass/or give her something, but failed to even say Please or Thank you, this came across as kinda harsh & a little rude to me.

So I checked her, and let her know, nothing wrong with being a little polite when you ask for something. Anyway later down the road, if at any point, I forgot to say please/thank you her, because I'm in a hurry or whatever, this bich would immediately remind me of the time, that I checked her on being polite & she would become all petty about it.

 

[Adz--]

Has a crazy chick ever got you questioning your own sanity?
Like sometimes she would say or do some stupid chit & I would check her azz, which would lead to her arguing or being challenging.

I give you an example. I'm a firm believer, that any type of bad/rude behaviour should be nipped in the bud immediately at the early stages of dating.

Example - My ex on several occasions, in a pretty stirn voice asked me to pass/or give her something, but failed to even say Please or Thank you, this came across as kinda harsh & a little rude to me.

So I checked her, and let her know, nothing wrong with being a little polite when you ask for something. Anyway later down the road, if at any point, I forgot to say please/thank you her, because I'm in a hurry or whatever, this bich would immediately remind me of the time, that I checked her on being polite & she would become all petty about it.

Yepp on many occasions, the girl was a walking BPD red flag and the whole time through dating her nothing was stable for long. Ironically like yourself when I did put her in her place she always loved it and thrived of it.

That's how these psychos get you hooked and wanting more through their twisted ways.

 

[soulforge]

Yepp on many occasions, the girl was a walking BPD red flag and the whole time through dating her nothing was stable for long. Ironically like yourself when I did put her in her place she always loved it and thrived of it.

That's how these psychos get you hooked and wanting more through their twisted ways.

No lies I actually had some feeling my ex was BPD/NPD

01. Traumatic upbringing
02. Father died early in her life, he was an alcoholic
03. Likely there was sexual abuse
04. Had been on Anti depressants before she met me
05. Previous relationship to me was also toxic
06. Dates only much older men (daddy issues)
07. Constant chit testing and drama
08. Insecure about what I am doing
09. Broke into my phone and checked all my messages behind my back
10. VERY combative and argumentive and agressive
11. High Body count 12 or more at age 24

I'm certain this girl was BPD or had serious daddy issues

 

[Adz--]

No lies I actually had some feeling my ex was BPD/NPD

01. Traumatic upbringing
02. Father died early in her life, he was an alcoholic
03. Likely there was sexual abuse
04. Had been on Anti depressants before she met me
05. Previous relationship to me was also toxic
06. Dates only much older men (daddy issues)
07. Constant chit testing and drama
08. Insecure about what I am doing
09. Broke into my phone and checked all my messages behind my back
10. VERY combative and argumentive and agressive
11. High Body count 12 or more at age 24

I'm certain this girl was BPD or had serious daddy issues

Yeah she sounds it. Most of that sounds like it stems from the sh*tty upbringing and been reinforced by all the other events and trying to get dopamine highs through messed up scenarios. Honestly brother it sounds like you dodged a bullet.
The bitter part about BPD's are that their behaviour will have an impact on you, that you will only realise/ see after you've removed yourself from them. Healing is part of the journey, but questioning all the what if's and why's will further make you walk in circles

 

[soulforge]

Yeah she sounds it. Most of that sounds like it stems from the sh*tty upbringing and been reinforced by all the other events and trying to get dopamine highs through messed up scenarios. Honestly brother it sounds like you dodged a bullet.
The bitter part about BPD's are that their behaviour will have an impact on you, that you will only realise/ see after you've removed yourself from them. Healing is part of the journey, but questioning all the what if's and why's will further make you walk in circles

Yeh no lies. I am age 47 and she was age 24... This relationship was a massive ego boost for me.. however the red flags where very obvious from day one.

With some time apart from her, I realise that she was very likely BPD, or at least had severe daddy issues.. Most personality disorders in girls, stem from daddy issues.

Yup she was hot, sex was great.. However dudes kill themselves over damaged girls like this. So Instead of feeling all down about the break up, I should be celebrating the fact that I had the sense to dump her before she got pregnant and before I spent years falling in love with her.

Some poor beta Simp will suffer with her now, while I go out in the big wide world and spend time with good quality chicks.

She was an absolute headache and constant drama.

 

[Designer Man]

Day 1

This is going to be tough but I have to do it.

Yesterday we officially ended. Our relationship was up and down for the last 12 months and this is the third time I have moved out in that time. We have been having a few problems with the house and Yesterday things just reached a certain point and the stress of living in an unhappy home finally broke us. She had me removed from the property so I had to find some accommodation almost immediately. I'm staying with a friend until I'm back on my feet.

The relationship was toxic. We would go to war with each other when it was bad. When it was good, things were great but it got to a point we were breaking up every month.

For the last week I have hated her and she had hated me, we have both told each other there is no going back after this and I left with my things without saying goodbye. I didn't get angry, I just took my stuff and left. She couldn't look at me or be around me so she stayed in another room until I was gone.

I am struggling today. I feel lost, low, anxious, defeated, flat, stressed, miserable to name a few. She blocked me on everything, something she did a week ago so I know there's no way she is going to reach out. I have to accept what I've lost financially too as I don't want to chase for anything. As far as I'm concerned she can keep it.

We were together for three years and were planning our wedding. It was booked for next summer. It hurts to think we allowed things to get so bad between us and we done nothing to fix it. I accept my faults and I wasn't an easy person to be around but nor was she and we dragged each other to hell.

It was only two weeks ago she was telling me how I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was so in love with me. Why did we fail to communicate effectively? Why did we pull away from each other when things got bad?

I just want to rebuild my life. I need to find permanent accommodation but I need to get my finances in check first and clear some debts. I'm not interested in going out and meeting anyone else, I just need to give myself time to get where I need to be.

I don't think she will reach out. The last time we broke up we were falling in love all over again within a week and moved back in together after a month apart. I keep checking my phone for messages and it's literally been a day. I'm struggling, I have good outlets in the gym and have a good focus there. It's just the every day stuff I'm struggling with.

 

[Baibars]

Day 1

This is going to be tough but I have to do it.

Yesterday we officially ended. Our relationship was up and down for the last 12 months and this is the third time I have moved out in that time. We have been having a few problems with the house and Yesterday things just reached a certain point and the stress of living in an unhappy home finally broke us. She had me removed from the property so I had to find some accommodation almost immediately. I'm staying with a friend until I'm back on my feet.

The relationship was toxic. We would go to war with each other when it was bad. When it was good, things were great but it got to a point we were breaking up every month.

For the last week I have hated her and she had hated me, we have both told each other there is no going back after this and I left with my things without saying goodbye. I didn't get angry, I just took my stuff and left. She couldn't look at me or be around me so she stayed in another room until I was gone.

I am struggling today. I feel lost, low, anxious, defeated, flat, stressed, miserable to name a few. She blocked me on everything, something she did a week ago so I know there's no way she is going to reach out. I have to accept what I've lost financially too as I don't want to chase for anything. As far as I'm concerned she can keep it.

We were together for three years and were planning our wedding. It was booked for next summer. It hurts to think we allowed things to get so bad between us and we done nothing to fix it. I accept my faults and I wasn't an easy person to be around but nor was she and we dragged each other to hell.

It was only two weeks ago she was telling me how I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was so in love with me. Why did we fail to communicate effectively? Why did we pull away from each other when things got bad?

I just want to rebuild my life. I need to find permanent accommodation but I need to get my finances in check first and clear some debts. I'm not interested in going out and meeting anyone else, I just need to give myself time to get where I need to be.

I don't think she will reach out. The last time we broke up we were falling in love all over again within a week and moved back in together after a month apart. I keep checking my phone for messages and it's literally been a day. I'm struggling, I have good outlets in the gym and have a good focus there. It's just the every day stuff I'm struggling with.

She had you removed from the property? At this point don’t even think about contacting her or getting back with her. Focus on yourself and use NC to move on, not to get her back.

 

[Designer Man]

She had you removed from the property? At this point don’t even think about contacting her or getting back with her. Focus on yourself and use NC to move on, not to get her back.

Yep and I lived there for two years and paid my share. I just wanted more respect than that. I would have left and the way she went about it was disgusting.

 

[Glassguy]

What would be the down side of me telling her that I have moved on?

You haven't moved on. That's the problem.

 

[Designer Man]

As you should deserve. She will reach out to you again, I would suggest blocking her because she f’ed you over in this relationship. It was a tough read, but I think you know what to do as you are typing out your post.

And I also f'ed her over. I was disgusting at times and when we would argue it got nasty to the point we almost got physical. We had panic attacks and were just at an all time low. The good times were there and we had some amazing times, probably 50/50 which is not good. Her mood dictated what kind of day we were going to have and I would feed off her energy. I would absorb her mood and then start to get agitated about stuff. I wasn't an easy person to live with at times but most of the time I was chilled and easy going. I would do anything for her. We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

 

[johnrambo]

Day 1

This is going to be tough but I have to do it.

It'll get better with time. Hang in there.

 

[johnrambo]

We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

Maybe she wants to start a fight and break up with you.

 

[soulforge]

And I also f'ed her over. I was disgusting at times and when we would argue it got nasty to the point we almost got physical. We had panic attacks and were just at an all time low. The good times were there and we had some amazing times, probably 50/50 which is not good. Her mood dictated what kind of day we were going to have and I would feed off her energy. I would absorb her mood and then start to get agitated about stuff. I wasn't an easy person to live with at times but most of the time I was chilled and easy going. I would do anything for her. We even had an evening out together on Wednesday which was nice and enjoyable, then Thursday was just complete madness. How can two people who meant the world to each other allow this to happen? Why did we let the bad get in the way and ruin us? I have no answers, we failed and when things went wrong we both pulled away.

When a relationship gets even close to this messy/toxic it's time to walk away.

I think it's important to recognise when a relationship is failing, earlier you exit from that bad situation, the better.