The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Foe]

Day 60ish:

Been seeing a new girl for a couple of weeks and things are going well. Doesnt have the same feel, almost like my emotions are walled off but its fun and Im enjoying it. Checked my phone this morning and noticed I got my first breadcrumb in 2 months, a missed (blocked) phone call from my ex, damn if it didnt send a electric shock through my body. Clearly Im still a work in progress, I can safely say I would have called back if not for this girl which is a sad realisation but in some ways.....progress.

Immediately setup a date with the new girl and Im going to enjoy that and try and forget about it.

 

[soulforge]

4 months NC

I'm the dumper.

It's still difficult as my physical attraction to her was very high & replacing her with an equally as attractive chick, is not going to be easy.

However with time and distance, I realise that she absolutely didn't have the qualities of a dependable long term partner.

Just a very difficult and combative person to deal with & red flags through the roof.

Just way too many obstacles to overcome to be with someone like her.. it's short term pain, and long term gain.

In the long run a girl like this can destroy your mental health.

 

[soulforge]

I actually feel good for being the dumper.

I kicked her out of my house late at night, for continusly arguing with me.

Too many of you dudes are holding onto toxic chicks.

My advice is to Dumped them.. If you have given them maybe 1 or 2 chances and they still playing up? Dump her ass.

It's a good feeling lol

 

[Glassguy]

I actually feel good for being the dumper.

I kicked her out of my house late at night, for continusly arguing with me.

Too many of you dudes are holding onto toxic chicks.

My advice is to Dumped them.. If you have given them maybe 1 or 2 chances and they still playing up? Dump her ass.

It's a good feeling lol

Being the dumper leaves you with a feeling of validation and also gives you the upper hand in power over the other person.

As you pointed out, its not always easy being the dumper, especially when you really dont want to lose the person but they give you no other option.

 

[Glassguy]

And I am on day 45? 50? Something like that. Its hard to find quality women these days, but its easy to find women to have fun with. At this point the latter is the best option.

 

[soulforge]

And I am on day 45? 50? Something like that. Its hard to find quality women these days, but its easy to find women to have fun with. At this point the latter is the best option.

Finding a good quality woman is the long game. It might happen, however likely to take some time.

In the mean time, best we focus on ourselves, leveling up and enjoy the casual fun along the way.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Its hard to find quality women these days, but its easy to find women to have fun with.

Finding a good quality woman is the long game. It might happen, however likely to take some time.

In the mean time, best we focus on ourselves, leveling up and enjoy the casual fun along the way.

Agree. If a young clueless new member would read a bunch of SoSuave, this is basically what it all comes down to. Even if the definition of what is a "quality woman" is somewhat different for each man, it still holds true for most guys.

 

[Glassguy]

The big question is what would all of you do if your ex contacted you while you are doing no contact? Would you take the call or text and if you did then what would you say to them?

I wouldnt answer a call. Id simply text back several hours later "what did you need?"

I would not be in ANY big hurry to respond back. I would certainly give it enough time to make her wonder:
A. will I respond at all
B. Did I block her and did the message or call even come through
C. Did I just ignore her

She would have plenty of time to think about it before hearing back from me.

Value is rebuilt by being resilient, having a life outside of her, not being to anxious to respond back, building good anxiety in her, etc.

Based on your previous posts I believe this was a LDR? If thats the case, forget it. There is a mountain of an issue between you that cant be fixed right now. I wouldnt respond back to her if I were you. Nothing good comes out of it and the issue between the 2 of you isnt resolved and will not be resolved.

This is where most women are good at game and do it naturally. When most men see her reach out, jump up and down and respond back in 30 seconds. No bueno

 

[Glassguy]

Its just a matter of time before they all eventually reach back out to you. I think they do this to see if you are doing good and they put there feelers out there even though in most cases they dont wanna get back with the guy.

Not necessarily.

 

[Glassguy]

Which part?

They dont always reach back out. Even if the relationship was really good.

 

[soulforge]

The big question is what would all of you do if your ex contacted you while you are doing no contact? Would you take the call or text and if you did then what would you say to them?

I'm 99% confident that I would not take the call.

What possibly could you talk about.

If you have broken up, and some time has passed by, I can guarantee she has had sex with other dudes.

Once a chick has tried other diks, you would be a pathetic loser to even consider talking/getting back with her.

Getting back together after a break up, rarely ever works out, so why prologue the pain by talking to her..

Simply ignore the call.

 

[Glassguy]

Its like ripping the bandaid off over and over again.

Strengthen mentally, go to the gym, hit up new chicks go on dates.

If your ex hits you up later on, you have options. To sit around and wait by the phone wondering if they will text or call is insane.

 

[soulforge]

They dont always reach back out. Even if the relationship was really good.

My ex knows deep inside that i'm a pretty unforgiving person and very proud.

I doubt she would risk reaching out, as she understands I would ignore her, besides I booted her, so it's likely she would expect me to reach out.

 

[soulforge]

Are your exes quite hot?

Part of the difficulty of letting go of my ex is, because she is damn hot.. Age 24, blonde, blue eyes, slim/toned, & Eastern European. Most mens dream girl.

Hot.. but toxic/damaged.

 

[soulforge]

View attachment 11407 While my ex doesn't read my poetry, she knows there's no coming back from the way she tried to blame the divorce and everything around it on me to assuage her own feelings of guilt for abandoning her sick husband.
Everybody knew what had happened and my discretion was appreciated by her family and my/our friends. I got rid of my anger by writing poetry and a self-help manual using martial arts to overcome a divorce.

However, unlike most of you here, I couldn't 'ghost' my ex-wife or go incommunicado, because we have children together. Children who were 6 and 9 when she initiated the divorce. Children that we have to co-parent.

After nine months of hostilities my ex-wife asked me if we could talk, she had trouble sleeping and she had things on her mind.
I told her we could talk about the children, but that as far as the rest was concerned I had moved on and I was very happy and I hoped she would find happiness herself.

I heard later that she had taken my response quite hard, but her betrayal of her marital vows shouldn't be without dire consequences.

That's a good way for you to vent or let out your feelings.

Am I right to believe, it took you nine months to move on?

 

[soulforge]

Ha! That’s what I’m dealing, from Norwegian decent 6ft tall.
I just take it as a pat on the back old chap that I had the charm to open sesame. I learned a ton about seduction just being around her and how she deals with orbiters

Time heals all wounds, but being mentally stoic drastically reduces recovery time

True, and remember an attractive girl does not mean she is a quality person. Many can be extremely toxic.. Us men need to look beyond the attractiveness, and take a deeper look into her character.

My ex was hot... However fell very short of a partner whom you can build a life with or even manage a couple of months without drama, chaos.

Being hot just isn't enough.

 

[Foe]

Finding a good quality woman is the long game. It might happen, however likely to take some time.

In the mean time, best we focus on ourselves, leveling up and enjoy the casual fun along the way.

Took a call yesterday, first time in three months. She threw her ***** at me and for the first time I declined in three years. Then she blocked me. Don't be soft like me.

 

[soulforge]

Took a call yesterday, first time in three months. She threw her ***** at me and for the first time I declined in three years. Then she blocked me. Don't be soft like me.

When I do NC I mean it.. Absolutely no conversation, social media, texting, NOTHING!

Once it's over, it's over.. Your 100% focus should be on moving on ASAP

 

[Dr.Suave]

The big question is what would all of you do if your ex contacted you while you are doing no contact?

If you still single ir spinning plates, you can bang her if you want but wear a condom AND never give her exclusivity again, she's recreational use Only.

If you in a Ltr with a younger, hotter, better girl. You AND Your new girl can make fun of her for a while AND block her when ITS no longer fun.

 

[soulforge]

If you still single ir spinning plates, you can bang her if you want but wear a condom AND never give her exclusivity again, she's recreational use Only.

If you in a Ltr with a younger, hotter, better girl. You AND Your new girl can make fun of her for a while AND block her when ITS no longer fun.

I hear about lots of guys banging the ex, and over sometime developing feelings for her again. It's a risky venture.