Hi everybody.
13th day NC for me.
Feel a bit out of place here, because I'm demisexual, meaning I need a strong emotional connection with someone (the kind you need months of 'friendly' aquaintance to build) to feel sexual abot him/her. So I find very difficult to think to have sex within the first 2-3 dates, to initiate kino soon, etc. [This is mainly a problem because girls will easily misunderstand your behaviour as lack of sexual interest and put you in the friendzone.] But I found some helpful insights in the whole 'alpha male' theories, and especially the NC concept; I am reading the whole of this thread, I am at page 80 and will keep on reading.
Decided yesterday to register and share the evolution of my NC challenge here.
Some infos about my story: met this younger girl (first problem: age gap, it is a sort of taboo for her, not for me), didn't feel attracted a bit for the first months, I knew her mainly to get infos about another person I was interested in. We kept going out as friends, until some months after, I began to feel like caring too much for just a 'friend'; just a few weeks into that, she began telling me things like I was her strongest 'crush' ever, I was the men of her dreams, etc.
BUT I still didn't feel attracted to her, until some months past that, when I began to fall very deep for her also sexually. But I knew how much the age gap was a problem for her, moreover, she is bi and never had sex with men. So I decided to open up my heart to her through words - first great error, I know. She told me she only thinks of me as a friend, I decided to give our friendship a chance, but in the next months I saw her interest go lower and lower, and wanting to go out less, telling me some little lies, flaking, etc. WHILE being MORE and MORE jealous about my other aquaintances and admirers (yes, I have a few, I have 'options' if I wanted), and for example, I wanted to go out with some of her friends, but she never 'allowed' me to do it ('I will never talk to you again if you contact them!').
So I gave her a last chance to put up, she didn't take it (just kept repeating it wasn't true she was just toying with me and she wasn't interested anymore etc. but not giving excuses or trying to make amend), I closed with her, just hug her and walked away. Two weeks after I sent her an email (which I had written weeks before), it was a planned move, Just wanted her to know I still cared for her although not rethinking my decision. No answers, there it began my NC (also on social media, I don't know anything about what she's doing).
SO today I saw two of her friends, had lunch with them, they've been very nice and friendly with me, they also asked questions about why we don't go out anymore, and told me they also had some similar issues with her, they think she's BPD or DOC, or maybe just immature and lacking empathy. I will see them again, hope to fall in love maybe [she is studying abroad just now, will be back next month], or maybe just new friends, all I know is that today I just felt good and happy for the first time in a month.
As I said earlier, apart for these two, I go out with other girls, so I have 'options' if I wanted to; I have plenty of friends, I work, volunteer, and have many many distractions, just stopped exercise for the summer but I will begin again soon. Still feel VERY bad at the thought of her having sex with someone else, or just what she did to me (I admit I indulge myself with alcohol sometimes to keep up), but I hope to be wholly healed soon.