narcissist
Master Don Juan
No contact day 1... she just left my house after breaking up with me after 4 years. I showed no emotion. Dont know how I feel. This is the best thing for me, now I can focus on game/pickup forever.
The days are early... Each step you take, everyone here has your back...Day 2. They don't call this a challenge for no reason. Wanted to smoke to relieve some pain, but I bought protein powder instead. I refuse to pick up bad habits now that we are split.
Hear you bro. Reading this post rewinded me instantly back almost 15 months. That summer was hell, but I am in such a better place right now. As much as I am entitled to serious resentment for her behavior, in the end she did me a huge favor.No contact day 1... she just left my house after breaking up with me after 4 years. I showed no emotion. Dont know how I feel. This is the best thing for me, now I can focus on game/pickup forever.
r/l as in real life?What happened in your r/l?
I hope to get there as soon as possible - though I know that it takes time.Hear you bro. Reading this post rewinded me instantly back almost 15 months. That summer was hell, but I am in such a better place right now. As much as I am entitled to serious resentment for her behavior, in the end she did me a huge favor.
I'm sorry that this is happening to you again, narcissist. I am reading the whole thread and some of your posts from years ago are a great support for me. Stay strong brother.No contact day 1... she just left my house after breaking up with me after 4 years. I showed no emotion. Dont know how I feel. This is the best thing for me, now I can focus on game/pickup forever.
Long story. When I get to school I will make a quick post about it.Relationship*
Long story. When I get to school I will make a quick post about it.
Not necessarily, she may be doing NC as well. I'd say channel whichever framing helps you heal the fastest. If it helps for you to think she cares, do that. If it helps for you to think she callously snubbed you, go that direction.I forget what day I'm up to now, I think 14 or so. Past couple days have been difficult. I've wanted to reach out to her, just tell her I miss her. Her not reaching out feels like she never cared.
If she contacts you to protest, do not pick up, do not reply do not call, do not text, do not email do not instagram or FB, do not send smoke signals or yodel. No hello no welcome back no happy birthday nothing. She gets ignored.I'm sorry that this is happening to you again, narcissist. I am reading the whole thread and some of your posts from years ago are a great support for me. Stay strong brother.
Day 21.
Yesterday I had to fight with all my strength not to watch her Instagram stories. It helped to think that if I did, I'd have to go back to day 1.
Don't know why this has to be soooo difficult and painful. I mean she cheated on me and Ljbfed on me, but it's me who closed our acquaintance, don't want her back (she is low value and probably BPD and/or DOC, I know for sure it would be a great pain in the ass if we had a LTR), it's me who is keeping NC, 'dating' her friends and seeing other girls, keeping very busy... And i began NC 3 weeks ago (6 weeks from BU)!
Why so painful and heart-scorching to think of her with some other guy or girl? (She is bi). I wish so badly that this pain would end soon, although I fear it's a long long way to go...
In ten days she will be back from abroad, and in 2 weeks it'll be her birthday. Of course she won't hear nothing from me, except I bet she will discover that I am seeing her friends (if she doesn't know yet, which is possible). But maybe she will contact me to protest or some other b******t, (she was very jealous and didn't want me to get to know them).
If you reach out and validate her not only will you be back to day one, but you will delay your healingI forget what day I'm up to now, I think 14 or so. Past couple days have been difficult. I've wanted to reach out to her, just tell her I miss her. Her not reaching out feels like she never cared.
Great posts and advices from you all, keep posting.
Day 18.
Today has been tougher, for no particular reason. I guess it's normal to go highs & lows. I missed her company and felt like texting her (don't worry, I won't!), maybe really for the first time since BU. I always feared that with time passing, bad things will just fade to black while good things will persist in memories, making me wish to go back to her. I hope this won't happen.
I am keeping very busy and will do for the next days. Tuesday I'll go out with the girl (one of her friends) I feel some slight interest in, can't wait to.
Still going on reading this thread, I'm around page 180 now, found this link:
AT ANY COST - Saving your life after loving a borderline
Saving Your Life After Loving A Borderline. Certain aspects or common denominators are present in those who attach to Borderlines. People Pleaser typessharischreiber.com
which may be helpful, I am considering that she may seriously suffer from BPD (just as her friends told me!), because the description fits almost perfectly!
Maybe I really dodged a huge bullet. I hope this will help me keeping up NC, main problem is still the same, sexual feelings and physical jealousy which HURT so badly and won't go away.
Great posts and advices from you all, keep posting.
Day 18.
Today has been tougher, for no particular reason. I guess it's normal to go highs & lows. I missed her company and felt like texting her (don't worry, I won't!), maybe really for the first time since BU. I always feared that with time passing, bad things will just fade to black while good things will persist in memories, making me wish to go back to her. I hope this won't happen.
I am keeping very busy and will do for the next days. Tuesday I'll go out with the girl (one of her friends) I feel some slight interest in, can't wait to.
Still going on reading this thread, I'm around page 180 now, found this link:
AT ANY COST - Saving your life after loving a borderline
Saving Your Life After Loving A Borderline. Certain aspects or common denominators are present in those who attach to Borderlines. People Pleaser typessharischreiber.com
which may be helpful, I am considering that she may seriously suffer from BPD (just as her friends told me!), because the description fits almost perfectly!
Maybe I really dodged a huge bullet. I hope this will help me keeping up NC, main problem is still the same, sexual feelings and physical jealousy which HURT so badly and won't go away.
My jaw dropped when I read that paragraph, because I had basically said the same thing about my ex two days ago.Regardless of how proficient or successful she is in her professional sphere, issues of an emotional nature make you feel like you're dealing with a little girl, who's living inside a woman's body
bumpOkay so heres the break down of the relationship.
First year - amazing
Second year - amazing (I broke up with her for two months to game, then got back with her in an open relationship where I continued to have s3x with girls for another month or two [she didn't do anything with any guy - or so she says lol] then we got back into monogamy.
third year - little bumpy but still good, still lots of love/s3x, but she started to not respect me more and more because I lost touch with my masculinity.
The last three months were a train wreck.
I told her that I was breaking up with her in July, but that we could still be lovers - I told her I didn't want any rules and I didn't want to be committed, that our commitment was destroying our love (which at the time I thought it was). So she didn't take it too well, but because she was very attached to me she agreed. Then within the first week I slept with another girl and when she asked me if I did I said yes. I continued gaming and she continued to come around and see me very often (almost like we never broke up). I knew that she was talking/dating to guys but because I was in abundance I didn't care. Then school came. And my abundance disappeared because I didn't have time to spin plates. But she, on the other hand, got a new job as a waitress, and so her abundance skyrocketed. I could feel her slowly drifting, and I became depressed and anxious. It was so obvious to her too that I was like this. It reached boiling point when I told gave her an ultimatum: We either get back together into a monogamous relationship or we end it. She then told me that she was hooking up with her manager at work who is 14 years older than her. So that hit me hard and I couldn't hold back my emotions. She then agreed that we could go back to monogamy. This lasted only two weeks - In those two weeks I told myself that I would not let my jealousy get the best of me, and so I started to hit the gym, write a personal journal, meditate, go to school from morning to night mon-fri. It was working. I was far less jealous, and I thought "hmm, maybe this could still work out." Nope. She did not like the fact that I was channelling my inner masculinity again. She tasted the power of having more value than me and she couldn't bare going back to the way it was. We chilled only twice in those two weeks of monogamy - and at each moment she was trying to find ANYTHING to get mad at and get a reaction out of me, but I refused to react. I was calm, cool, collected, ****y, and funny. Didn't matter. The two weeks went by and thats when she came over... a couple days ago. she said the relationship was ruined and that she wasn't happy. I said "Okay, I respect your decision. Let me get your stuff. I will not be contacting you. Please, do not contact me."
And that was that.
I was in and out of the relationship/commitment for a little less than 4 years. I do feel like I destroyed the relationship because of 1) losing touch with my masculinity 2) moving from monogamy to open relationship.
Sounds like the milk went bad Narcissist. Like you said she got the taste of thinking she was higher value than you and didnt want to go back to the way things were.Okay so heres the break down of the relationship.
First year - amazing
Second year - amazing (I broke up with her for two months to game, then got back with her in an open relationship where I continued to have s3x with girls for another month or two [she didn't do anything with any guy - or so she says lol] then we got back into monogamy.
third year - little bumpy but still good, still lots of love/s3x, but she started to not respect me more and more because I lost touch with my masculinity.
The last three months were a train wreck.
I told her that I was breaking up with her in July, but that we could still be lovers - I told her I didn't want any rules and I didn't want to be committed, that our commitment was destroying our love (which at the time I thought it was). So she didn't take it too well, but because she was very attached to me she agreed. Then within the first week I slept with another girl and when she asked me if I did I said yes. I continued gaming and she continued to come around and see me very often (almost like we never broke up). I knew that she was talking/dating to guys but because I was in abundance I didn't care. Then school came. And my abundance disappeared because I didn't have time to spin plates. But she, on the other hand, got a new job as a waitress, and so her abundance skyrocketed. I could feel her slowly drifting, and I became depressed and anxious. It was so obvious to her too that I was like this. It reached boiling point when I told gave her an ultimatum: We either get back together into a monogamous relationship or we end it. She then told me that she was hooking up with her manager at work who is 14 years older than her. So that hit me hard and I couldn't hold back my emotions. She then agreed that we could go back to monogamy. This lasted only two weeks - In those two weeks I told myself that I would not let my jealousy get the best of me, and so I started to hit the gym, write a personal journal, meditate, go to school from morning to night mon-fri. It was working. I was far less jealous, and I thought "hmm, maybe this could still work out." Nope. She did not like the fact that I was channelling my inner masculinity again. She tasted the power of having more value than me and she couldn't bare going back to the way it was. We chilled only twice in those two weeks of monogamy - and at each moment she was trying to find ANYTHING to get mad at and get a reaction out of me, but I refused to react. I was calm, cool, collected, ****y, and funny. Didn't matter. The two weeks went by and thats when she came over... a couple days ago. she said the relationship was ruined and that she wasn't happy. I said "Okay, I respect your decision. Let me get your stuff. I will not be contacting you. Please, do not contact me."
And that was that.
I was in and out of the relationship/commitment for a little less than 4 years. I do feel like I destroyed the relationship because of 1) losing touch with my masculinity 2) moving from monogamy to open relationship.