The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[dustmuffin]

Day 6

I miss her like crazy. I was doing ok until I made the mistake of looking through her social media to see what she has been up to. It sucks seeing that she seems just fine, while I'm here thinking about her every day. I've been doing things to get my mind off of her but there's always going to be a time during the day where I'm alone and I'll be thinking about her and missing her. I want to message her again so bad but I know it's going to make me feel much worse. Still hoping she'll message me soon.

Delete her off all social media. Delete email and phone number. Why do you want to punish yourself by looking at her social media?

 

[Gan]

Delete her off all social media. Delete email and phone number. Why do you want to punish yourself by looking at her social media?

I'm doing better. Would've been day 33 of NC but I broke it in the first of this month. I asked her for one last favor then I said I'd never bother her again. We haven't spoken since and I'm back on my gym grind.

And I don't want to block her or anything. It seems childish.

 

[dustmuffin]

I'm doing better. Would've been day 33 of NC but I broke it in the first of this month. I asked her for one last favor then I said I'd never bother her again. We haven't spoken since and I'm back on my gym grind.

And I don't want to block her or anything. It seems childish.

It's not childish. You are protecting yourself from possible pain and agony. at least delete her. You will find yourself creeping back to take a look when she posts about her great new relationship. Seems like you are a glutton for punishment.

I was in your position two years ago. You aren't special. Many people have been where you are. Delete..... Block....forget.......

 

[noBSgames]

My ex posted something on instantgram and the only reason I clicked like was because it was something pertaining to the lost of the unborn child we were almost going to have.. however now it seems shes using that to try to bate me into liking more stuff like (not that I trust her to tell the truth) but she posted a picture of some celebration but it's blue and pink cupcakes with a angels on them but no one is in the picture, now I have a feeling I should of never liked the first picture from the start.

 

[Magotrox]

No contact should be a pattern. But don't be doing nothing. Go fvck some other girls. That's the best way. GO FOR MANY OR GO FOR NONE, Pook said. And it works.

 

[Gan]

It's not childish. You are protecting yourself from possible pain and agony. at least delete her. You will find yourself creeping back to take a look when she posts about her great new relationship. Seems like you are a glutton for punishment.

I was in your position two years ago. You aren't special. Many people have been where you are. Delete..... Block....forget.......

If only it was that easy. We have a mutual friend (who's my best bud), and unless he's willing to delete/block her, I can't really delete her without feeling down. I don't want to ask him to do so either cause it makes me feel weak.

Give me about 2-3 weeks and I'll be completely over her. She used to be in my mind 24/7 for weeks after the NC and I'd wake up feeling depressed every day. That's no longer an issue, as I'm back on focusing on myself again. Been going to the gym religiously like before and I spend my free time however I want to without feeling like sh*t.

 

[vpn]

NC - Day 45

After reading this thread for a couple of weeks, I finally decided to share my own experience of the no contact challenge. It was very difficult at first... The first time I started it, I managed to last about a week before texting her. She replied and we actually went to the movies a couple of days later where she showed very confusing body language - rubbing legs against mine, etc. after telling me only a week ago that we can only be friends. Didn't act on any of it as it felt like complete bullsh*t. Anyway... fast forward a couple of days, we were texting again and I made the mistake of telling her how badly I felt after she friendzoned me. She got quite upset and started accusing me that I want to make her feel bad about her decision to stay only friends. 45 days since then there hasn't been any contact, regardless of how much I had to fight with myself to reach this point. She was ghosting me for a while up until about two weeks ago when she started liking stuff I post on Facebook and watching my stories on Messenger. It is amazing what a single like can do to someone... anyway, she didn't stop then and yesterday continued to do this (liking a couple of my posts). I don't really need this fake attention so today I gathered the courage to remove her from all social media and get this over with.

What I can say to the other guys who are reading: just remove HER from all social media you use and do not check her profiles anywhere. It won't help you in any way, even worse - it will set you back massively in overcoming her.

I will try to report back for Day 60. Wish me luck, almost there!

NC - Day 63

Well, challenge is now officially over, but I still see it as an ongoing thing. I definitely feel better and the best tip I can give to anyone initiating the NC challenge is - delete all her social media profiles, do not look/try to look. That is what was setting me back massively...

I still catch myself thinking about her every now and then, but it is not the same as back in October when I started the challenge.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Older guy here (54). I'm sure its on here somewhere but there are lots of pages.
Take it from experience, there isn't a 60 day challenge.
If your girlfriend dumps you, you simply ask her nicely not to contact you again and then NEVER EVER contact her again for ANY reason.
No calls, no texts, no social media - Delete everything.
Do not respond to her again NEVER EVER for ANY reason.
Women get one chance. If they blow it they regret it. Under no circumstances, no matter how bad it feels at the time you are Steve McQueen/James Bond and John Wayne all rolled into one.
Its like you are dead to them and they are dead to you.

Then you get back on the horse, ride into town and get a new woman - A better one!
Women with integrity do not go behind your back. They communicate that they are unhappy and ask you to work it out with them. Then its up to you.
A monkey is going to swing. Would you **** a monkey?

DING DING DING DING****

TATTOO THIS ON YOUR BRAIN




lol on my bad days I like to pretend I'm Steve McQueen and roam around the country side for days with no phone in my pocket just like he did when he got pissed off on the set of the great escape.

 

[European-DJ]

Day 0:
Today I informed her that I was not interested in simply being her friend, which I initially offered (against everything I stand for), but that I was only interested in a romantic relationship.

I deleted her from social media, including Facebook, and I’m now initiating the 60 day challenge, which will preferably cure me of this Ego driven obsession of her.

After one and a half year with her, I’m not oblivious to the fact that it’ll initially be challenging, but I’m hoping that I’ll come over her using the tips from this post. Not being reminded daily of her through social media will definitely help!

Go!

 

[Overmind]

Day 0

First post on the forum, just broke up and took all measures for No Contact after she showed interest and care and then adamantly began with hypergamic behaviour, I took it as a signal she had already moved on so it's time for me to begin NC.

 

[European-DJ]

Day 0:
Today I informed her that I was not interested in simply being her friend, which I initially offered (against everything I stand for), but that I was only interested in a romantic relationship.

I deleted her from social media, including Facebook, and I’m now initiating the 60 day challenge, which will preferably cure me of this Ego driven obsession of her.

After one and a half year with her, I’m not oblivious to the fact that it’ll initially be challenging, but I’m hoping that I’ll come over her using the tips from this post. Not being reminded daily of her through social media will definitely help!

Go!

Day 3:

Day 1 & 2 were alright. I though about her a lot, but not in a negative way, I simply accepted that we were not to be together “right now” and have been trying to move on. However, I’m delusional and feel assured that we will be together in the future, but I’ve not accepted the fact that we are done with each other and she has already moved on (admittedly dating other guys).

Today, I went on a date with a previous girl “CA” and posted a “Story” on Snapchat. Normally, the girl I’m in NC with “NC girl” would be the first to comment on anything I post, but today she simply ignored it.

I don’t know why, but knowing that she saw what I was doing and being able to resist the urge to write me truely hurt. The feeling of wanting her back came rushing back.

When I took “CA” back to my place and had her naked in my bed, I couldn’t get the picture out of my head of “NC Girl” being banged by someone else and I simply couldn’t have sex with “CA”.

The thought of her with someone else hit me straight in the heart and I just broke down (not in tears), but I couldn’t concentrate about the naked girl in my bed.

Damn, I honestly thought this would be easy considering how little grief I felt the first two days - I’ll just have to keep going.

 

[Reykhel]

The thought of her with someone else hit me straight in the heart and I just broke down (not in tears), but I couldn’t concentrate about the naked girl in my bed.

Man that is some funny ****e.

You'll hopefully look back in a month's time and have a good chuckle at what you wrote.

I have faith in you that you can pick yourself up from this tail spin and never feel this way again.

 

[European-DJ]

Man that is some funny ****e.

You'll hopefully look back in a month's time and have a good chuckle at what you wrote.

I have faith in you that you can pick yourself up from this tail spin and never feel this way again.

Honestly? It is a pathetic reaction and I know it.

I mainly keep this journal for myself, so that I can return and cringe at the past.

To this day, "Break-ups" (that aren't initiated by myself) remain the absolute weakest part of my game - I go full AFC everytime a girl leaves me.
- Luckily, I did not go full-blown AFC in front of this girl; I only did so in my head haha..

Nothing new to report for Day 4 still feeling down. However, I do have three dates lined up next weekend.

 

[Reykhel]

Honestly? It is a pathetic reaction and I know it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Hopefully you can laugh about it or at least analyze it with some cold emotions at a later date...

Try to observe yourself from outside of yourself; imagine you were watching a movie or observing a random guy that maybe you were going to help out. This is simply an exercise to remove the subjective lens (the one filled with emotion and feeling) and replace it with an objective lens (one with cold analytic emotion)......

I mainly keep this journal for myself, so that I can return and cringe at the past.

Look back at the past to extract the lesson, vow never to repeat it and let it go WITHOUT the self condemnation. This is a valuable skill.

To this day, "Break-ups" (that aren't initiated by myself) remain the absolute weakest part of my game - I go full AFC everytime a girl leaves me.
- Luckily, I did not go full-blown AFC in front of this girl; I only did so in my head haha..

Prepare for them before hand. Just like the Stoics and The Buddhists meditate on death, failure and loss..........they not only accept them
before they happen, but they appreciate what they have while they are in the present moment....

If this is the weakest part of your game, fix it. Stoicism awaits you.

 

[European-DJ]

Day 5:
Today I sincerely feel like ****. I woke up multiple times at night with the urge to check my phone to see whether she had written.

I was confident she would write me over the weekend, but I can conclude that she hasn’t. This might have been the reason that I haven’t felt too sad during the first couple of days, as I was sure she would reinitiate contact by today.

As suggested, I took an outside perspective of the situation and it made me realize how I’m sitting and mourning, while she’s most likely out having heaps of fun with friends and dates.

I believe the major pain point in this “break-up” is going to be the question of whether I truly “mattered” to her.
When you invest a lot of yourself in someone you would like to see it reciprocated - if she was never to reach out again, I would feel utterly cheated.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I just dumped one of my 2 girlfriends 5 days ago.

She is going in full panic mode, trying to be in my mind all the time, by contacting me non stop with love professions.
She is idolising me, and apologising for things she didn't do wrong, then blaming me.
It is tiring me and making me more and more firm in my decision.

Her behaviour now is teaching me so much, about how to NOT act when you get dumped yourself.

If she just told me, "cool, I understand, let's take some time to breathe, catch ya later"
There wouldnt have been a problem I would have hooked up with her after a while when catching my breath.

But now I feel like blocking her.

 

[European-DJ]

I almost broke NC this afternoon – Because I wanted to apologize (again).

Day 6:
I wanted to get an understanding of why I got so hooked on this girl "all of the sudden" and decided to look through our old conversations to get some perspective. Comes to show, I have been chasing this girl for the past 5 months without realizing it. Initially, I was my old self, I honestly did not care whether she would meet me or not, and even when she did agree to a date/meeting/hookup, I would sometimes cancel our arrangement later that same day. However, GRADUALLY she became busier, started hanging out with friends more, being more rejecting of my proposals and seemed INDIFFERENT towards me – in essence, she got a life for herself and became interesting.

The more indifferent she became, the less indifferent I became; the more I started chasing her, the more she pulled away. This is the epitome of what is taught on this forum regarding break-ups – People value most what they fear losing or cannot have. I have, in fact, become the chasing and obsessed “ex” as a result of her “following” the very tips taught on this forum.

Now, while I probably blew all of my chances with this girl ages ago, I think this serves as a valuable lesson for anyone experiencing dropping IL from their GF or for someone who recently encountered a break-up (and haven’t acted desperate and needy yet) – MOVE ON, act indifferent, become less available – for people value most what they fear losing or cannot have.


Luckily, I can find a bit of comfort in the fact that I managed to have sex with her twice in the last month of my chase (December) and that I managed to somewhat end it with dignity, by telling her that I was not interested in a platonic friendship, but that she could reach out if she ever changed the mind. Thus, the ball is in her court and she's the one to decide if we will ever play ball again.

 

[Mia007]

Really, It can help? I was looking for on the internet some help to overcome this emotions and not to be so furious with his stupid actFirst time and maybe now I want a revenge... to get rid of this thoughts I found a place mega-moolah-play.co where I can make it real but in virtual worldmaybe in the beginning it will be helpful for somebody..
Let`s do it together. I`m in From when do I need to start this practice today or better next day???))

 

[European-DJ]

Day 7 - she broke no contact this morning (appreciate any advice!)

This evening I saw a message from her, which basically read that she had been thinking through a million scenarios of how we could be together (a couple). And would like to know how I had imagined it to work.

I have no idea what this means and how to read into it? Obviously, in my state I read it as “let’s give it a try, I want you back”, which it obviously isn’t.

What is your recommendation guys? I could really need an objective perspective on how to continue and whether to show her that I’m over her (she’ll detect the BS) or something else?.

Best.

 

[European-DJ]

Day 7 - she broke no contact this morning (appreciate any advice!)

This evening I saw a message from her, which basically read that she had been thinking through a million scenarios of how we could be together (a couple). And would like to know how I had imagined it to work.

I have no idea what this means and how to read into it? Obviously, in my state I read it as “let’s give it a try, I want you back”, which it obviously isn’t.

What is your recommendation guys? I could really need an objective perspective on how to continue and whether to show her that I’m over her (she’ll detect the BS) or something else?.

Best.

Day 3
I had to restart the NC challenge, as I thought I did the right thing by offering her to talk about things with her - as she had offered to talk through things with me previously.

Unfortunately, while she was very hot during our physical meet, she became even more cold than she had previously been the day after.

I decided to let her know that I had been fine the last 14 days (which I also displayed when I met her) and told her, that I actually wasn’t interested in chasing a girl that wasn’t interested in me and wishes her good luck with everything, no hard feelings.

She replied with a very long message about how much she liked me and bla bla, but that she understood where I came for and that it was for the better.

This clearly shows my MIND that she isn’t interested. However, my HEART keeps reading into the details of the message and interprets it as it wishes.
- I am still not sure how to get over her, but I know better now than to be anything but indifferent the next time she reaches out to me!