NC is definitely the way to go. I'd had quite a few ups and downs, especially during the first two weeks. On day 21 now, maybe day 1 if you consider it technically. I had to see her at a buddy's wedding, and I basically acted as not acknowledging her existence at all. Didn't act like an ass to her, but just like she was just... there. She did do some interesting things, unexpected, some things like... approached me and couple other wedding party guys, she doesn't know them well. Said "I'm going to go back to the car and get my purse", no acknowledgement from any of us. Later, convo going on, me catching up to photographer in my car (she said she left early and was going 130km/h
). The girl I liked, she said 'You're so silly' to me. No response, then she said I had some black on my collar and went to rub it off, then saw my shoulder had some too, tried to rub it off too. I just said it's probably boot polish. Went in to the reception, minimal attention paid throughout. Didn't even look at her when possible, when not, I looked through her. Though did notice she possibly was looking quite often at me (who knows). Walked by from bar to the dance floor, smiled at each other as we passed (no other way to walk, I think it would have been odder/more revealing to have done anything else). Later, dancing in a group, she came and danced right beside me, fairly close. Besides her, I had a really great time. Lots of good looking girls flirting/dancing with me, one inappropriately (she has a bf who is my friend, and she was doing lots of touchy, talking, innuendos, and texting now. Unfortunately I did not do too much to discourage it, now got to do that lol). One girl as I was leaving ran up and gave a hug to me, said we'll have to keep in touch since we're all family now (no relation whatsoever, she's friend of bride, and i'm friend of groom lol). Loads of dancing, with moms and grandmas too for fun. Just overall really good confidence boost. I know I was at my best, and it was great.
I can't say I'm 'over over' her, since I was debating things like 'Should I talk to her (there)' or 'What the hell is she doing?'. But I feel that she's regulated down to a normal thought process. I started feeling a bit of emotions at the beginning of the night (angry/sad/unsure), but I told myself, I'm sticking to my plan, no matter what. And it took a few minutes to be assured in this. Y'know, I could have approached her, talked with her like normal, asked to dance even. But for what reason? To risk myself back in the firing line, hoping she won't go 'nah' and ignore me, hit on some other guy (especially married)? Ridiculous.
I know and I feel like I've made the right choice. I regret the choices that she made, because she's had her chance. She decided to f**k around and play games (Oh cool we're friends now again, where's your engaged friend? I want to ask him to go drink with me and thus I'm f**king with you lol). I feel better than I've ever felt hanging onto the minuscule interactions between us. I feel actually confident and happy right now. This is great. Keep strong everyone. There are times where I regretted my choice, to cut everything. And had urges to try to fix things or do something. But this is all about you. It may feel like it doesn't pay off, but it does. And always remember the 5 stages of loss (Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression-Acceptance). It helped me a bit identifying my feelings, and knowing that I had to feel it.
