The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[SoSuave666]

I think as moderator I'm going to have to change the name of this thread to the *I Won't Stop Contacting Her* Challenge.

It's really taking away from the validity of this thread. This particular thread has turned into a "how should I respond to this text I just received from her." If you want to start a thread on getting your girl back, do it elsewhere. This is the NC thread where people actually come to move on with life, not remain stagnant in a failed relationship.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Uhhh... Mr. 666, methinks my facetious intent was lost on you.

My point is exactly what you stated. This is a NC thread, which means NO CONTACT.

 

[SoSuave666]

Uhhh... Mr. 666, methinks my facetious intent was lost on you.

My point is exactly what you stated. This is a NC thread, which means NO CONTACT.

Haha, I wasn't addressing you when I made this statement:

"If you want to start a thread on getting your girl back, do it elsewhere. This is the NC thread where people actually come to move on with life, not remain stagnant in a failed relationship."

It was kind of a blanket statement for all the posters on here who don't follow NC but still post in the thread. I got the sarcasm of your post. Unfortunately mine wasn't as obvious. Trust me, there is nothing I want more than to read actual NC stories in the NC thread.

 

[Cyclops1982]

NC Day 9: So, day 9 of attempt 2. Was doing much better than I expected - being out of the country and working at a new place kept me busy, challenged and in different circles. Day off and coming back home was a bit of a crash. Not at all tempted to make contact (did not respond to last message as promised), but being back and having some time brings back some of the intensity of the emotions- anger, misery, loneliness, missing the person, etc. Was quite surprised as I thought the last week meant I'd recovered quicker than I expected - but I know it's going to be up and down for a while.
One thing I've discovered (which may help other NCers, I don't know) is that it's much better when I'm doing stuff in new situations, with new people. For some reason it's harder with my old familiar circles of friends or acquaintances, even if they have nothing to do with her. I guess, apart from them knowing about it, there's also their familiarity with me and how I "usually am" which puts on a subconscious pressure I don't feel when abroad/at new workplace.
Still finding it really hard to get motivated though, which is frustrating as I'm usually a very motivated individual and there's lots of ideas to put into action if I could just find the strength.

Hope you guys are doing ok. (Real NCers, that is)

 

[Purefilth]

NC for a month, she called told me she was going to start dating someone else, WTF? who makes a call like that? it was her trying to get a reaction from me, cos i just hung up she calls a week later saying she never said she was going to see someone else, getting tearful saying she wants me to show i care. i realised then that i dont - doesnt matter to me now, im over it - NC, ignore FTW!!

 

[Cyclops1982]

NC for a month, she called told me she was going to start dating someone else, WTF? who makes a call like that? it was her trying to get a reaction from me, cos i just hung up she calls a week later saying she never said she was going to see someone else, getting tearful saying she wants me to show i care. i realised then that i dont - doesnt matter to me now, im over it - NC, ignore FTW!!

Unbelievable. Good on you for not getting sucked into the power games.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Haha, I wasn't addressing you when I made this statement:

"If you want to start a thread on getting your girl back, do it elsewhere. This is the NC thread where people actually come to move on with life, not remain stagnant in a failed relationship."

It was kind of a blanket statement for all the posters on here who don't follow NC but still post in the thread. I got the sarcasm of your post. Unfortunately mine wasn't as obvious. Trust me, there is nothing I want more than to read actual NC stories in the NC thread.

Ha, yes, 'tis the timing of the posts in terms of what order they appear that confuses.

Well, I guess this is the place to learn what NC really means and what its purpose is. I think that a lot of guys who come here are reeling in pain from a breakup, and have a hard time with the bold, final decision to stop contact when their emotions are roaring at them to make that contact.

Drug withdrawal is extremely difficult, and relationships tend to mimic drug dependence very closely. But NC is the best antidote to those withdrawal symptoms.

 

[Skalioppe]

51 days NC. Unlike some of the lame cvnts on here, NC for me means exactly what it says on the tin. She's contacted begging twice. Ignored.

I had a dream about her text last week, idyllic, like fvcking on marshmallows on a desert island, and I was tempted to ping her a text in my half awoken state, but deliberately wrote down some sh1t in a text and the deleted it without sending it. Cathartic. I know she's suffering, don't get me wrong it's not easy, but I rejected her, and I'm no longer in orbit and I kept her mental bipolar mind alter ego in check.

She never took much notice of my "I'm the best thing to've ever happened to you". I bet it's resonating in her ears now.

 

[SoSuave666]

51 days NC. Unlike some of the lame cvnts on here, NC for me means exactly what it says on the tin. She's contacted begging twice. Ignored.

I had a dream about her text last week, idyllic, like fvcking on marshmallows on a desert island, and I was tempted to ping her a text in my half awoken state, but deliberately wrote down some sh1t in a text and the deleted it without sending it. Cathartic. I know she's suffering, don't get me wrong it's not easy, but I rejected her, and I'm no longer in orbit and I kept her mental bipolar mind alter ego in check.

She never took much notice of my "I'm the best thing to've ever happened to you". I bet it's resonating in her ears now.

This is the NC I love. It's not vengeful, it's not spiteful, it's just NC. She has no idea what's going on. Moreso than that, she has no RIGHT to know what's going on with you. I'm a firm believer that once someone tells you they have no interest in you anymore, they don't deserve a second chance. It's not a mistake on their part. They were probably right. Don't take it so personal. It's just a misunderstanding of love.

I just got a new tattoo. It's a celtic shield with LAOCH (gaelic for warrior/hero) spelled out above it. Ironically, I just saw the movie 'warrior" a couple days ago. This song came on at the very end, when tommy and his brother are fighting. It's pretty emotional. I don't have a brother, but damn if I had one I probably would've cried at that scene. Anyway, what did I take away from it? The song. There is a line that goes: "how close am I...to losing you?"

For anyone who has dealt with a woman's ****...you know this line. She played along the line of loving you and hating you...and eventually enough is enough. No longer is she close to losing you...she has lost you forever. She has lost you as bf, friend, acquaintance, and any other term you can think of. It's over, and the sooner you realize it, the better you will be.

If you haven't seen the movie warrior, and wish to in the future, don't click the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H1bn884d5E&feature=related

 

[Cyclops1982]

Just thought I'd say something in defence of what have been called "lame cvnts" and so on. Reading the very first post in this thread again, the whole point of this thread is that NC is a "challenge". Not all of us will succeed first time (in fact, most fail from the looks of it), but this thread is useful to post stories about our different experiences trying to do it and *support* each other as guys going through tough times. We all want to succeed in NC, but our situations are all different- it's obvious some people have come to hate or despise their ex (which actually probably makes it easier), but this isn't the case for all of us - some just need to recover and want to find the best way to do that and are trying NC as a promising method. It's great that some of you have been so successful, and I think many look up to you as examples of strength and determination already so there's no need for insults if others are not quite there yet.

 

[Skalioppe]

Just thought I'd say something in defence of what have been called "lame cvnts" and so on. Reading the very first post in this thread again, the whole point of this thread is that NC is a "challenge". Not all of us will succeed first time (in fact, most fail from the looks of it), but this thread is useful to post stories about our different experiences trying to do it and *support* each other as guys going through tough times. We all want to succeed in NC, but our situations are all different- it's obvious some people have come to hate or despise their ex (which actually probably makes it easier), but this isn't the case for all of us - some just need to recover and want to find the best way to do that and are trying NC as a promising method. It's great that some of you have been so successful, and I think many look up to you as examples of strength and determination already so there's no need for insults if others are not quite there yet.

NC is extremely hard, it's going cold turkey on an addiction to someone, it is a huge challenge. But when people on this thread do about 2 days NC and then start chasing / replying to the ex that dumped them and wonder why then end up being ignored or used. If someone fails after a NC for a month or so, then yeah, it happens, but a few days?!!!!

These are the same people who...

1. Confuse the purpose of NC as some sort of scare tactic to leverage their ex's emotions so that they contact them again.
2. Fail to realise that by chasing / replying they are actually devaluing themselves to the point of being their ex's emotional b1tch / crutch, whilst they look for new c0ck to ride on.
3. Live in the deluded hope that a display of sentiment and emotions will have their ex running back into their arms, like some soppy romantic Hollywood film.
4. Write post after post of "What should I do?" without actually listening to the unanimous advice given.

So, yes, I'd call them a lame cvnt because it's a perfectly justified and befitting moniker.

And FYI...

1. I often want to contact my ex, but am resolute through the battles in my head about it.
2. I don't hate my ex, on the contrary, I did and still do adore her.
3. I focus on the negatives to reinforce and consolidate the NC.
4. Success comes from perseverance and determination, but not from mollycoddling people.

 

[trulycrushed]

10 days and feeling great.

 

[headFirst]

I've been on no contact since June 25th.. I originally was on no contact since june 9th and broke it.. Take it from me was not worth it at all. So don't make that mistake. I think the first 2 weeks are the worst, I had a couple close calls, but once I got over that little hump, I've been feeling great. Just been working on me, lifting at the gym.. reading, and focusing on my summer internship in CALI.

Honestly it's the best thing that has happened to me in a long while. When I get back to my home town I really have no desire to even contact her. NC really is the way to go!

Sure I think about her a little here and there but I'm not really stuck on her anymore. And talking to a bunch of different ladies.. all different ages, and much better looking, it really puts things into perspective as to who walked away with their head high..

Keep strong guys.

 

[RedScorpion]

I want to say thanks to everyone in this thread, all your stories has been very insightful into how important it is to stick with this path. Success stories are great to hear, but I almost think the ones that explain what happens when you go back in remission are even more important. It shows exactly what happens when you 'give in, give it another try'. I know I've been in that place.

I'm on my day 4 of NC. This girl, no relationship or anything. Just chaotic full on interest, then withdrawal, then interest. I've found out about BPD the last couple days and it describe her (and my reactions) perfectly. I have done no contact (planned on just ignoring and moving on, before reading this thread), after 28 days it involved her asking how the house was, if I needed help with it, how she could come over and help before her trip, etc. I said will let you know. Then next day, my mistake, hit on her at my friend's stag and doe. She was friendly but not into it. And hitting on other guys (which I then hit on other girls and she asked about it next day, to which I found out she asked the one guy to go on a bike ride the next day (which he slept in and forgot about, he mentioned it while the three of us were talking).

Ignored for awhile, re-became decent friends for about a week, joking, good srs talks. But, besides flirting with many guys, she was sending flirty texts, flirting towards my good friend who's about to be married, inviting him out, worried that he didn't respond to his texts (she texted me asking where he was, worried he didn't respond). Thinking 'Yeah ok not cool'. Was 'eh' with her next time I saw her, she was snotty towards me when I joked with her friend (they were going out to celebrate her bday (bday was the next day). Then I thought, y'know enough is enough. And to top it off, my friend said she texted him the next morning, asking how his fiancee was doin (she went out too), don't wake her up, where's my breakfast (he was cooking his fiancee breakfast). Makes me rolls my eyes into my head.

Didn't wish her happy bday, deleted her off my phone, blocked off fb couple days later. No texts, msgs, or otherwise talked to her since then.

The worst I think is convincing yourself if you did the right thing. Part of me is saying 'Well, you were being friendly towards each other, and then you decided to suddenly cut her out without giving it more time'. Then the other part says 'She's had how long? Everytime you guys were friendly and talking, she'd go and talk, hang out with some other guy, without any explanation. Except the explanation that she's not really into you and just wants to know she could have you if she wanted'.

It sucks. Mostly because I've set myself up for this. During this time I've talked with other girls, hooked up with one, but she never left my mind. Ridiculous really.

Am I doing the right thing? Cutting off her completely like this? Even reading all these stories, all this advice, even knowing the answer, I have to ask lol.

 

[Skalioppe]

Am I doing the right thing? Cutting off her completely like this? Even reading all these stories, all this advice, even knowing the answer, I have to ask lol.

Yes! This girl sounds quintessential BPD or Bipolar, textbook. I still ask myself the same question and I'm on day 56 with my BPD/Bipolar ex. Just realise, you can never make BPDs happy and they'll spend their life looking for a cure / new relationship energy / excitement elsewhere, and drag you to hell in the process.

You are doing the right thing, but make sure you keep busy and goal filled lifestyle.

 

[drellum]

Am I doing the right thing? Cutting off her completely like this? Even reading all these stories, all this advice, even knowing the answer, I have to ask lol.

As time goes by, you will ask this question over and over and eventually convince yourself to contact - You'll probably label it "opening the door ajar" or "checking she is ok"......Avoid these thoughts completely. You will be back to square 1. I know because I made that mistake.

Forget about her and relate NC to YOU!
Write her off completely and add more distance to her as time goes by - start distancing mutual friends - shut down Fakebook....the anonymity starts to feel good. Embrace it and get on with a new exciting life

D

 

[mikey2012]

Thats right

NC for a month, she called told me she was going to start dating someone else, WTF? who makes a call like that? it was her trying to get a reaction from me, cos i just hung up she calls a week later saying she never said she was going to see someone else, getting tearful saying she wants me to show i care. i realised then that i dont - doesnt matter to me now, im over it - NC, ignore FTW!!

give the biatch what she deserves. if is wasnt for those cvunts we wud still be in the garden of eden.

 

[mikey2012]

Thanks!!
By not replying, though, isn't that like agreeing that I cannot promise her stability?

I was thinking of sending ONE (1) of these:

1. If you truly feel that you cannot accept me as I accept you, we need this break. I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over

2. If you truly feel that you cannot accept me and stand by me, we really need this break. I believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over

3. If that is how you feel, and you cannot accept me in return, then I really believe this break is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over

4. If this is how you feel, then I really believe this break is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over

5. I understand how you feel about stability. I really believe this break is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over

Which is best, if any?

I am stumped on this. I really am.

DO NOT REPLY. THIS IS NC SPORT. DIDNT YOU READ THE FIRST PAGE?

 

[drellum]

give the biatch what she deserves. if is wasnt for those cvunts we wud still be in the garden of eden.

Mikey, I can tell you are a sensitive soul....and you have a poetic way with words!

 

[mikey2012]

Mikey, I can tell you are a sensitive soul....and you have a poetic way with words!

Dude thx ...it's true though..we wouldn't be suffering on this earth if we da biatch eve didnt flash her cvnt and say eat the apple or no nookie for u . Add insult to injury there are still women called eve.